Dealing with Others when Wearing Jewelry

[cdtracing]

Very well stated. I think the off comments take the fun out of wearing jewelry. No matter your age. Or when people size up your jewelry. You know "the look" as in "how much did she spend?" or "how much is this woman really worth?" Certain types of men do it especially blatantly (can you say "loser politician" or "Hollywood bottom-feeder").


But you know the great thing about NA jewelry are the questions you get, and the appreciative comments. I don't have a great collection, just a few things I've picked up at jumble sales and on ebay over the years, but the comments are always fun and the compliments genuine.

I agree. Women should be able to wear something they feel good about & rude, tacky comments only diminish that joy. Personally, I think women should support & lift up women in general, not tear them down.

And yes, I know the look. It was more prevalent in the 80's & 90's but seems to be on the rise again. And it usually comes from envy on the person making the comment. I don't get it from men very often but when I do, it's from someone who thinks they can use it for their gain. And being from the South, I turn those over to my husband & he will shut them down in a heartbeat. It's a sorry state that there have to be people out there who will judge someone by what they wear or their jewelry & then try to use "their assumptions" for their own personal gain.

 

[shopoholica]

One of my "friends" (who I don't talk to anymore lol) unscrewed my LOVE bracelet and put it on her own wrist without asking. I was literally in shock (I'm also a pushover in real life so shame on me). She also asked to borrow a bunch of expensive Tiffany jewelry, which I refused with "Sorry, they are my mom's and she wouldn't be OK with letting me lend them out." She borrowed my Dior Tribal earrings and never gave them back...

Another girl basically assumed that I was a brat because I liked nice jewelry, and would interrupt me every time someone talked to me and she would answer people's inquiries of my jewelry FOR me. Again, I don't talk to her anymore...I can't with people. And if you guys knew me in real life, you'd know that I don't really wear anything too flashy. Everything I wear is for myself, and I usually hide my jewelry under my clothes.

 

[cdtracing]

One of my "friends" (who I don't talk to anymore lol) unscrewed my LOVE bracelet and put it on her own wrist without asking. I was literally in shock (I'm also a pushover in real life so shame on me). She also asked to borrow a bunch of expensive Tiffany jewelry, which I refused with "Sorry, they are my mom's and she wouldn't be OK with letting me lend them out." She borrowed my Dior Tribal earrings and never gave them back...

Another girl basically assumed that I was a brat because I liked nice jewelry, and would interrupt me every time someone talked to me and she would answer people's inquiries of my jewelry FOR me. Again, I don't talk to her anymore...I can't with people. And if you guys knew me in real life, you'd know that I don't really wear anything too flashy. Everything I wear is for myself, and I usually hide my jewelry under my clothes.

Wow! With friends like that, you don't need enmities! Don't need that kind of negativity, either. I don't blame you for severing the so called friendship.

 

[Trekkie]

I have this "friend" who now also works with me, she overheard me telling another one of our co-workers about the necklace I'm having made for my birthday. This other girl used to work at a jeweler so she was super interested in what I was getting. Anyway I've always had this feeling that my "friend" thinks I'm a bit of a princess because I like nice jewelry (and bags lol), even though I don't wear heaps of it on a daily basis (i normally only wear my diamond huggie earrings and a black sapphire ring I bought on sale last Boxing Day... But she has seen me wear my pearl strand). Anyway she made an offhand comment like "it must be nice..." Or something, about how my parents always buy me expensive stuff (still not sure where she got this idea from). I didn't correct her at the time but it kind of bothered me, because I've been saving for 9 months to buy this necklace and my parents are only throwing in a hundred dollars or so as it's my birthday. And I just know I'll get another off hand comment when I wear it around her... Sigh.

 

[cdtracing]

I have this "friend" who now also works with me, she overheard me telling another one of our co-workers about the necklace I'm having made for my birthday. This other girl used to work at a jeweler so she was super interested in what I was getting. Anyway I've always had this feeling that my "friend" thinks I'm a bit of a princess because I like nice jewelry (and bags lol), even though I don't wear heaps of it on a daily basis (i normally only wear my diamond huggie earrings and a black sapphire ring I bought on sale last Boxing Day... But she has seen me wear my pearl strand). Anyway she made an offhand comment like "it must be nice..." Or something, about how my parents always buy me expensive stuff (still not sure where she got this idea from). I didn't correct her at the time but it kind of bothered me, because I've been saving for 9 months to buy this necklace and my parents are only throwing in a hundred dollars or so as it's my birthday. And I just know I'll get another off hand comment when I wear it around her... Sigh.

Well...bless her heart. Maybe if she worked hard & saved her money, she could buy something nice for herself too. These are the kind of people I avoid. They're not happy & would rather have everyone around them unhappy as well instead of doing something to change their outlook. Sounds like envy to me. Don't you dare give her the power to take the joy out of wearing your new necklace or any of your jewelry, for that matter. You're a beautiful young woman who deserves all the joy life can give you. You are not responsible for her outlook or her attitude. She has the control over that herself. Don't let her bring you down! I'll get down off my soapbox now.

 

[Trekkie]

Well...bless her heart. Maybe if she worked hard & saved her money, she could buy something nice for herself too. These are the kind of people I avoid. They're not happy & would rather have everyone around them unhappy as well instead of doing something to change their outlook. Sounds like envy to me. Don't you dare give her the power to take the joy out of wearing your new necklace or any of your jewelry, for that matter. You're a beautiful young woman who deserves all the joy life can give you. You are not responsible for her outlook or her attitude. She has the control over that herself. Don't let her bring you down! I'll get down off my soapbox now.

Haha I do love this saying, I think I'll be using it myself. Exactly! I wouldn't even really have contact with her if we didn't work together, I mean we knew each other at uni but were never close.

Envy would probably be right, I try not to let it affect me too much. I know I work hard for everything that I have, and be damned if I'm not going to enjoy it. I certainly will be enjoying my necklace come October (it's going to be hell waiting that long though).

 

[cdtracing]

Haha I do love this saying, I think I'll be using it myself. Exactly! I wouldn't even really have contact with her if we didn't work together, I mean we knew each other at uni but were never close.

Envy would probably be right, I try not to let it affect me too much. I know I work hard for everything that I have, and be damned if I'm not going to enjoy it. I certainly will be enjoying my necklace come October (it's going to be hell waiting that long though).

Just be sure when you say it, you use your best Scarlett O'Hara voice! LOL Most people, unless they are familiar with the South, won't even realize they've been called an idiot!

 

[Trekkie]

Just be sure when you say it, you use your best Scarlett O'Hara voice! LOL Most people, unless they are familiar with the South, won't even realize they've been called an idiot!

Haha well then it's doubly doubtful that people here in Australia will realise its an insult then. I'll try the best on the accent but I'm afraid I'm not very good at them.

 

[ap.]

I'm far from young & I have people ask me from time to time if some of my jewelry is real. I usually just say "Well, what do you think?" I could care less what other people's opinions are of my jewelry or me in general. Life's too short to worry about petty crap. I have designer bags & unbranded bags; my jewelry is generally unbranded because I buy what I like. I have all kinds of pearls, gemstones, & diamonds. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle but I do tend to spend my money on quality. I was wearing some of my South Sea pearls one evening to dinner & had a woman comment to me about how pretty my costume pearls were. I asked her what made her think they were costume & she said real pearls aren't that large. (Mine are 11-12 mm, not gargantuan) I told her they were White South Sea Pearls & she said she had never heard of such. My response at that point was to tell her Google was her friend & she should Google South Sea Pearls from Australia. She was somewhat taken aback. I will say that her companion looked a little embarrassed by her comments about my jewelry.

People will be tacky & make comments about things that are really none of their business. Normally, I just ignore them. I would never question someone about the genuineness or authenticity of the jewelry they wear. What one person chooses to wear is different from someone else. If it makes you smile & you enjoy wearing something, why not just enjoy it! I will comment sometimes on someone else's jewelry but it's just to say that it's pretty or looks good on them.

I'd just say "No, they're not real" or let people go thinking they're costume. As long as I know what I have, who cares what anyone else thinks?

I remember reading about this woman whose husband gave her gigantic diamond stud earrings (well over 5 carats each) and she said most people think they're fake and she just lets them think that. People bother her less and she worries about the earrings less.

 

[cdtracing]

Haha well then it's doubly doubtful that people here in Australia will realise its an insult then. I'll try the best on the accent but I'm afraid I'm not very good at them.

I'm sure you'll do just fine!

 

[blackmonster]

 

[blackmonster]

I'm far from young & I have people ask me from time to time if some of my jewelry is real. I usually just say "Well, what do you think?" I could care less what other people's opinions are of my jewelry or me in general. Life's too short to worry about petty crap. I have designer bags & unbranded bags; my jewelry is generally unbranded because I buy what I like. I have all kinds of pearls, gemstones, & diamonds. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle but I do tend to spend my money on quality. I was wearing some of my South Sea pearls one evening to dinner & had a woman comment to me about how pretty my costume pearls were. I asked her what made her think they were costume & she said real pearls aren't that large. (Mine are 11-12 mm, not gargantuan) I told her they were White South Sea Pearls & she said she had never heard of such. My response at that point was to tell her Google was her friend & she should Google South Sea Pearls from Australia. She was somewhat taken aback. I will say that her companion looked a little embarrassed by her comments about my jewelry.

People will be tacky & make comments about things that are really none of their business. Normally, I just ignore them. I would never question someone about the genuineness or authenticity of the jewelry they wear. What one person chooses to wear is different from someone else. If it makes you smile & you enjoy wearing something, why not just enjoy it! I will comment sometimes on someone else's jewelry but it's just to say that it's pretty or looks good on them.

Similar to you, I buy what I LIKE, nothing to do with brand names or trying to impress anyone, just enjoy wearing things that I like... But definitely get tired of dealing with dumb remarks or assumptions... One old bitty actually said "you must be soon good" implying that my luxuries are tied to sex, and that my husband must be buying most for me.... Had the similar thot to ur friends husband and wanted to add she should have found a better husband....(with that said, hubby buys nice gifts, but I bought /buy lots of my luxuries)

Another girl implied I CHOSE my e-ring (that I had nothing to do with) because my husband wouldn't have selected it on his own.... and a few co-workers who seemed to be keeping track of my jewelry collection.

When it comes to purses, there are a few that feel the NEED to touch a purse they feel they will never own (and I HATE people touching bec I'm OCD) and one who asked if I know how much a Chanel GST costs bec she found out watching TV.

I think they just don't realize how tacky and crass some people may find the whole "asking" situation amongst other thoughts I have .... And I wish I could just have your quick whit, lol

 

[LVoeletters]

Oh, any reason in particular they aren't happy? Jealous maybe?



I hate getting the "is it real" question. I had one friend ask me if my pearls were real then look horrified and say I shouldn't wear them because someone will steal them, which of course no one did haha.

They both have expressed quite candidly that they are unhappy with their partners. And my partner says his mother felt entitled to a lavish lifestyle and she never got over it.

My partner is the most successful in his family. Everyone is waiting to profit from that.

However he answers them quite smartly Whenever he gets comments from them saying he needs to 'watch out' for my taste, he responds, "not at all, she's bought herself everything you've admired. And everything she has increases in value every year I don't know how she does it!"

I should also add that while he is the most successful out of his family, I'm studying to do the same thing, he's just already done with the studying part and I have a ways to go. But everyone forgets that part lol. [emoji52]

 

[LVoeletters]

Oh, any reason in particular they aren't happy? Jealous maybe?



I hate getting the "is it real" question. I had one friend ask me if my pearls were real then look horrified and say I shouldn't wear them because someone will steal them, which of course no one did haha.



Yeah I get the "better marry rich" one a bit, especially since I've always had expensive taste. You can bet that if I've picked something out saying its pretty its probably got a big price tag attached (I blame my mum and nan for giving me expensive taste). If I ever go into a jewellery shop with mum and someone makes that comment she always says "better study hard" instead, which makes me laugh.

I've already been warned to expect the worst whenever it comes time for engagement. What a buzz kill lol.

 

[cdtracing]

Similar to you, I buy what I LIKE, nothing to do with brand names or trying to impress anyone, just enjoy wearing things that I like... But definitely get tired of dealing with dumb remarks or assumptions... One old bitty actually said "you must be soon good" implying that my luxuries are tied to sex, and that my husband must be buying most for me.... Had the similar thot to ur friends husband and wanted to add she should have found a better husband....(with that said, hubby buys nice gifts, but I bought /buy lots of my luxuries)

Another girl implied I CHOSE my e-ring (that I had nothing to do with) because my husband wouldn't have selected it on his own.... and a few co-workers who seemed to be keeping track of my jewelry collection.

When it comes to purses, there are a few that feel the NEED to touch a purse they feel they will never own (and I HATE people touching bec I'm OCD) and one who asked if I know how much a Chanel GST costs bec she found out watching TV.

I think they just don't realize how tacky and crass some people may find the whole "asking" situation amongst other thoughts I have .... And I wish I could just have your quick whit, lol

At 60, I'm not from the younger generation. I came from a time where people wouldn't dare say crass comments to a woman in public....might whisper it in private or say something behind their back but never directly to their face. Nor would someone question the validity or how they got their jewelry. People had manners back then & used them.

My mother always says "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". My mother, who is 85, thinks it's because of all the computer use that people don't use their manners anymore much less teach it to their children. She says people can & will say anything they want on a computer, regardless of how inappropriate it is, because they're not face to face with someone & that attitude has spilled out into public behavior. She says people will say things, these days, just to shock someone. She comes from a more genteel time & that's how she raised us. Now, she's a sharp ol' gal & over the years, has developed the ability to *****slap someone without them realizing it til later. She does it with a smile & her Southern drawl. She doesn't curse, heaven forbid, but will articulate her words to the point that whoever she's addressing would have to look up what she said in the dictionary. She has quite a collection of jewelry, antique & more contemporary. She would be highly insulted if someone made a comment to her like some I have read here.

And my quick wit, along with my love of jewelry, comes from my mother!