Dealing with Others when Wearing Jewelry

[horse17]

I def scale down what I wear if Im with people that cant afford a lot of extras...if Im with people I don't care for and they stare or say something that's not entirely nice, I just give them the old "whatever" or 'thanks!...no time for immature adults

 

[GoldTopaz]

I hang out with totally different groups of people and when with the ' aggressive marxist' type I tone down my designed bags & jewellery. But I have a Georgian diamond ring that I wear all the time (the most expensive piece I own and don't want to be burgled!), and people do sometimes stare when they notice it. It wasn't that much, the cost of a month's rent over 10 years ago and the landlord had to wait for his rent! But I suppose rows of diamonds, even small, can be a shock to some people. I just mutter something about Ebay bargain but I suppose I should just say it's a gift. Some people assume it's inherited...I do feel a little ashamed of being so materialistic when hanging out with a certain kind of people, and they would be really shocked to hear I pay hundreds of pounds for an adornment.

 

[Changeitup]

Jewelry wearers, put on your big girl (or boy) pants and wear the jewelry you love like you mean it! Your jewelry is for you to enjoy and you should not feel obligated to respond to randoms, or take abuse from rude people even if they are regulars in your life. Just because someone comments negatively, asks rude questions, etc doesn't mean YOU have to respond. If you want to, fine. But you don't owe anyone a response to prying questions or rudeness. People are shockingly oblivious to their own rudeness, are overly familiar with people they hardly know, and often spew negative comments about others to make themselves seem more important/righteous/whatever. Many feel entitled to comment and share their opinions not realizing that others aren't the slightest bit interested in hearing them. They forget there are, in fact, boundaries in polite discourse and forgot the manners they were taught in Kindergarten. Think about what people are REALLY saying to you when they make rude comments about your jewelry because the comments usually fall into one of the following categories. They are really saying: a. "and why do you have that and I don't because I am just as deserving or even more so than you" or b. "because you don't seem like you can afford that", or c. "you obviously spend your money unwisely or spend beyond your means", or d. "you obviously steal" or e. "what did you have to do to get that (or put another way, who bought that for you and why)" or f. "there are people more deserving than you of your own money". Super rude, right, so what to do? Laugh in their face, give them a long blank stare and effectively dare them to open their mouths again, give a snappy comeback, walk away, flat out tell them they are being rude? Up to you really, but don't make it your problem or feel badly for one second! Personally, the response I favor is no verbal response at all, but rather an eye to eye blank stare (cocking the head slightly and adding just a hint of a smile or a quizzical look for maximum effectiveness) allowing the rudeness to just lie there for a bit, like a dead fish, between you. They usually get the hint that they said something inappropriate and will move on, even if they aren't exactly sure why.

 

[Peepip]

Funnily enough I wear a lot of fine jewellery (mostly 18K yellow gold or white gold rings with diamonds - all of these are gifts from my grandmother) but no one every comments on them or asks about them. The only jewellery I’ve ever been asked about is my $10 chemist earrings with fake diamonds
They’re very plain, just small bezel set “diamonds” and I do want to upgrade one day but my ears can only handle real gold (no white gold because of the nickle) or surgical steel chemist ones

 

[cdtracing]

Jewelry wearers, put on your big girl (or boy) pants and wear the jewelry you love like you mean it! Your jewelry is for you to enjoy and you should not feel obligated to respond to randoms, or take abuse from rude people even if they are regulars in your life. Just because someone comments negatively, asks rude questions, etc doesn't mean YOU have to respond. If you want to, fine. But you don't owe anyone a response to prying questions or rudeness. People are shockingly oblivious to their own rudeness, are overly familiar with people they hardly know, and often spew negative comments about others to make themselves seem more important/righteous/whatever. Many feel entitled to comment and share their opinions not realizing that others aren't the slightest bit interested in hearing them. They forget there are, in fact, boundaries in polite discourse and forgot the manners they were taught in Kindergarten. Think about what people are REALLY saying to you when they make rude comments about your jewelry because the comments usually fall into one of the following categories. They are really saying: a. "and why do you have that and I don't because I am just as deserving or even more so than you" or b. "because you don't seem like you can afford that", or c. "you obviously spend your money unwisely or spend beyond your means", or d. "you obviously steal" or e. "what did you have to do to get that (or put another way, who bought that for you and why)" or f. "there are people more deserving than you of your own money". Super rude, right, so what to do? Laugh in their face, give them a long blank stare and effectively dare them to open their mouths again, give a snappy comeback, walk away, flat out tell them they are being rude? Up to you really, but don't make it your problem or feel badly for one second! Personally, the response I favor is no verbal response at all, but rather an eye to eye blank stare (cocking the head slightly and adding just a hint of a smile or a quizzical look for maximum effectiveness) allowing the rudeness to just lie there for a bit, like a dead fish, between you. They usually get the hint that they said something inappropriate and will move on, even if they aren't exactly sure why.

Well said. I use to get some rude comments about my jewelry, mostly from strangers & about if it's real or how much it was, but not so much anymore. I do have close friends who will ask price on something, especially if it's a new piece, but they know me & their questions are not coming from a place of jealousy but from true interest. They have great jewelry themselves. They usually ask because they're interested in possible getting something similar for themselves. I do have a dear friend whose wife always comments about my pearls & how she loves them & wishes she had something like them. She has some really nice jewelry but her husband is not much of a jewelry person & just doesn't buy it. He would rather buy her a new car or a painting or take her on a trip because she does love to travel. One year, he gave her stock in a Fortune 500 company. I'm always encouraging him to buy her some jewelry but he says he's just not confident in his ability to pick something she would like because she doesn't wear a lot to begin with. (Her style is understated & classic, not blingy) This man doesn't even wear his Rolex because he says he's doesn't think he's a watch person. I told him he was crazy & is doing his watch a disservice by not wearing it. I did talk him into buying a Rolex for her for Christmas a couple of years ago & she wears it everyday. She was so excited when she got it. I told him I would be happy to go shopping with him to help with selection if he needed & for their anniversary this year, I helped him pick out a strand of Japanese Akoya pearls. She loves them. He still doesn't like jewelry shopping & would rather buy her a new car or something like that. Even DH tells him, while a new car is great, women like something that's personal for them & from the heart. He did grudgingly admit the pearls look good on her. He's so uncomfortable in a jewelry story that it's comical. DH says we should take him for drinks first just to loosen him up.

 

[BigPurseSue]

Can you please take my husband Christmas shopping, CDTracing?

I occasionally get asked the question "Is that inherited?" Not sure what to make of that especially if the piece doesn't look vintage.

Then there are those who just stare at your jewelry....Just STARE. Not sure what to make of that either. Not wearing a Rolex or diamonds or anything like that. Just something nice for $50 from Bluenile or ebay. Yet people STARE.

 

[cdtracing]

Can you please take my husband Christmas shopping, CDTracing?

I occasionally get asked the question "Is that inherited?" Not sure what to make of that especially if the piece doesn't look vintage.

Then there are those who just stare at your jewelry....Just STARE. Not sure what to make of that either. Not wearing a Rolex or diamonds or anything like that. Just something nice for $50 from Bluenile or ebay. Yet people STARE.

I'd be happy to go with your husband to pick out something spectacular for you, BPS!! What's really funny is our friend said he would just as soon just hand me his credit card & let me go pick out something for her by myself but he would hate to see the bill he would get. I told him that the gift means more if he pick it out himself. I just guide him toward something she would like & give my opinion when he asks for it. He actually has good taste, he just doesn't realize it.
Yes, some people just stare. I try to ignore them but sometimes, I'll make eye contact & give them a nod or a wave. They'll usually look away real quick cause they got caught staring.

 

[Mcandy]

I get compliments with my dy metro ring all the time. No one i knew knows the brand at all lol they admire the beauty. It was a paved sapphire yellow gold ring, one even doubts if it was gold and i told him i dont wear fake. There was one who commented on the price after asking and i told her that we all have our preferences. She can afford to buy if she wants or chooses to and i prefer to spend money on this.