"Women want a ring that p*sses off other women"
- Thread starter ShimmyChick
- Start date
TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others
I laughed at that OP!
I'm kind of the opposite... I LOVE shopping and buying things for myself and love people to think I'm "well turned out" and fashionable... but I don't like anyone thinking that I'm showing off at ALL. I have a really hard time buying anything with logos on it (like LV) - the first really expensive Gucci bag I bought (SJP's "Carrie" fanny pack b/c I idolized her) I sold on ebay right away because it just felt too "showy"! I recently bought a Celine bag for $3K and sold it without wearing it as well b/c I just didn't feel right carrying a bag that expensive... I felt like those who actually knew what it was would think I was nuts/spoiled, and those who didn't (most) ... well, why carry a $3K bag when no one you know knows it's $3K! haha... I know - it makes no sense except that I should not own $3K bags!! Something about being able to buy it for myself made me very happy for 2 months though!
Dresses and suddenly now jewelry are my weaknesses... but dresses always under $600 (well 90% of the time). My friends aren't into status jewelry at all - I like that they think I have a beautiful engagement ring but really don't care if it's bigger or smaller than theirs! I have a friend or two that do though and it is weird and awkward when they ask how much things I buy are. I honestly buy pretty rings/diamonds for me because I love them and would never begrudge another girl for having something bigger/sooner/better! The only thing that would bug me honestly is if I got something and they went out and had to top me/copy me every time.
I'm kind of the opposite... I LOVE shopping and buying things for myself and love people to think I'm "well turned out" and fashionable... but I don't like anyone thinking that I'm showing off at ALL. I have a really hard time buying anything with logos on it (like LV) - the first really expensive Gucci bag I bought (SJP's "Carrie" fanny pack b/c I idolized her) I sold on ebay right away because it just felt too "showy"! I recently bought a Celine bag for $3K and sold it without wearing it as well b/c I just didn't feel right carrying a bag that expensive... I felt like those who actually knew what it was would think I was nuts/spoiled, and those who didn't (most) ... well, why carry a $3K bag when no one you know knows it's $3K! haha... I know - it makes no sense except that I should not own $3K bags!! Something about being able to buy it for myself made me very happy for 2 months though!
Dresses and suddenly now jewelry are my weaknesses... but dresses always under $600 (well 90% of the time). My friends aren't into status jewelry at all - I like that they think I have a beautiful engagement ring but really don't care if it's bigger or smaller than theirs! I have a friend or two that do though and it is weird and awkward when they ask how much things I buy are. I honestly buy pretty rings/diamonds for me because I love them and would never begrudge another girl for having something bigger/sooner/better! The only thing that would bug me honestly is if I got something and they went out and had to top me/copy me every time.
ps just want to add that since I don't like showing off with my friends, I'm so happy to have this place to be giddy about my new sparkly things and share with you all!
Really liked your post. I considered mentioning some of the above points, but got too nervous, as I am new here and I was not sure if I should speak up or not.
To "Whoops"- As a fat person, I appreciate your apology, and I know that "fat" has sort of become the instant insult that people reach for. I get it. And totally agree with jellyv, it was definitely not only your post that brought out this issue, not at all.
To all- Hopefully when people see jellyv's comment they might think a bit about the other people who are posting/reading and be a bit less specific about those characteristics that they feel are symbols of not having succeeded at life. I know I try not to take these comments too personally, but yes, I wonder what people think when they see me, and it probably doesn't help me at all to know that my fears are actually true.
Just to clarify, I would just add that I myself was teased before for being fat when I was younger. I have never been "skinny" in my eyes and most of my relatives used to call me "fei mui" which means chubby/fat girl. I finally got to the gym and now am the smallest I've been since high school. My bf really taught me how to finally work out correctly.
I didn't mean it as not succeeding in life. My dad is currently over 200+ lbs and my boyfriend used to be 220lbs on a 5'7 frame. I would never insist that either failed because of it. it was more so to explain why I felt not necessarily happy but surprised that the same girls who used to tease me about it were larger than me the next time I saw them.
I'm also a firm believer that what really makes a person beautiful is the personality and demenour they elude as people. Size has nothing to do with it in this case and if a person is happy and smiling it will show. But when people who are mean spirited, no matter the size, they will always be unattractive. In the example of the girls from my school, they were mean and spirited and as in almost all high schools, thier good looks got them by and people tolerated their behavior. Now that theyve lost the looks, all that's left is the mean spirit and people finally see the person I saw in school.
I totally get what you are saying, and I want to let you know that I appreciate your response. There is also a difference between people becoming what they used to make fun of, which I would call "getting what's coming to them", and using fat as a generic insult, which I felt various posters were doing in this thread (and in society in general)-- I hope you don't think that I was only directing my comments at you. It was more of a, "hey, here's a chance to mention this, since jellyv already opened the door". Again, thanks so much for replying and no hard feelings to anyone above, either.
I totally get what you are saying, and I want to let you know that I appreciate your response. There is also a difference between people becoming what they used to make fun of, which I would call "getting what's coming to them", and using fat as a generic insult, which I felt various posters were doing in this thread (and in society in general)-- I hope you don't think that I was only directing my comments at you. It was more of a, "hey, here's a chance to mention this, since jellyv already opened the door". Again, thanks so much for replying and no hard feelings to anyone above, either.
as for me, im super shy around my friends about expensive things; jewelry, bags, shoes, etc. even my ering at first.
i think it just depends from person to person - but i do think there are people out there that just want attention and stuff, at the expense of making people annoyed/pissed.
However, I think PF is a unique place that people really root for others to get pretty things so they can stalk them and possibly buy it themselves. I would say im more inclined to share things here just because others get so excited about it, whereas IRL, i would never do the same because i don't wanna seem like i'm showing off or something.
i think it just depends from person to person - but i do think there are people out there that just want attention and stuff, at the expense of making people annoyed/pissed.
However, I think PF is a unique place that people really root for others to get pretty things so they can stalk them and possibly buy it themselves. I would say im more inclined to share things here just because others get so excited about it, whereas IRL, i would never do the same because i don't wanna seem like i'm showing off or something.
I agree with a lot of the high school stuff, it is not that I would want the girls that were really nasty to me look bad because honestly karma takes of that and it sure did in many of the cases. I am a very late maturer; in elementary I was overweight and not ugly but they still called me piggy. It really hurt. When I was 13-14 and started looking good girls said I must have been a whore. They made fun of me so much and it really hurt. Most girls tended to be really malicious towards me in high school. Now I am 35 and I actually turned out thin once I turned 30, I did not get any wrinkles but I take care of both my face and body. When I saw one of the girls that called me piggy in elementary and who was a huge favorite of boys she now must weigh 40 pounds more than I do and while I look my best now her time has long passed and she actually looks at least ten years older than I do. I cannot say it did not feel good; it is not that I wanted her to turn out old and fat no I did not but it sure feels good that I look a lot better now than she does. One just cannot help these feelings as I remember all the nasty things she did to me back then.
Reading some of the later posts in no way did I mean to hurt anyone for their weight, like I said that was what I was teased about most of my life. I was never really fat per say but I had maybe 15-20 pounds extra on. What really hurt is when my boyfriend and father made jokes about my weight at a restaurant and said it would be better if I did not eat. So I can relate to people who are overweight. People around me today think I have always had a figure like I do now, they cannot understand how to this day I still have no confidence because I used to be overweight. It is really sad that people get judged based on that but I cannot help feeling a little gratification when I see that kharma has caught up with the girls that made fund of me for that exact reason. No one should do that period. My forever best friend is really overweight and I would never ever make fun of her, only worry because a lot of extra weight may be bad for her health.
Am really showing my age, or maybe it was that I grew up in the midwest many moons ago?
I'm appalled at how some you of ladies were treated, my heart really goes out to you. Big hugs to all of you!
Boy, times & people have changed, & not for the better.
I'm appalled at how some you of ladies were treated, my heart really goes out to you. Big hugs to all of you!
Boy, times & people have changed, & not for the better.
I think it's pretty clear some of us, me included, have some of these "turning out better than" feelings about high school people, but I don't think Dennis's joke applies at all to how any of us feel here on tPF. I love that it's a place where we can help each other out, and share our little pretties, and be happy for one another.
I said in my previous post I like to hold my own in the jewelry arena, but I meant with-in my means. There are lots of wonderful tPF'rs with beautiful things I could likely never afford, yet I am never jealous about it and just love getting to soak in the pictures. I think we pretty much all feel that way...supportive and encouraging.
I do think it's interesting that other people base how they turned out compared to others based on weight, back in the day or now. I'm totally weight blind though, I always have been, and would never think to insult or judge someone based on weight. Maybe it's because we judge on the things we were picked on for? When I think about if I turned out better than high school people, it's usually more a judgment of appeared age and how people dress. I might shop at thrift stores but I maintain a current appearance. I find it interesting when a 35 year old still dresses like it was the early 90's. It's like they got stuck. I used to get picked on for the clothes I wore. Now I feel like I can hold my own..even with my $5 finds
And regarding appeared age, I think that's because I looked like I was 10 in high school and was teased for it. Now I'm a month shy of 35 and look like I'm still in my 20's. I think it just feels good in a way to be able to feel like "hey you picked on me but look how WRONG you were".
I can honestly say I have never picked on anyone in my entire life, but I wonder if people who do pick on people even care when they see the people they picked on years later. I don't know.
All I know is I am doing my best to raise children who are strong and confident, but also compassionate and tolerant. And I will whoop their little heinies if I think they are ever picking on people because it is obviously something that effects people through a lifetime. So far so good...both them seem to understand pretty darn well that you don't judge a book by its cover and that god made us all special. My oldest even seems to have an enormous amount of tolerance for the "mean" and "bad" kids. She's always giving them chances and talking to them about their actions in a loving "I believe in you" sort of way..lol. And hopefully I raise them strong and independent enough that if someone does pick on them, they'll just not really care
I said in my previous post I like to hold my own in the jewelry arena, but I meant with-in my means. There are lots of wonderful tPF'rs with beautiful things I could likely never afford, yet I am never jealous about it and just love getting to soak in the pictures. I think we pretty much all feel that way...supportive and encouraging.
I do think it's interesting that other people base how they turned out compared to others based on weight, back in the day or now. I'm totally weight blind though, I always have been, and would never think to insult or judge someone based on weight. Maybe it's because we judge on the things we were picked on for? When I think about if I turned out better than high school people, it's usually more a judgment of appeared age and how people dress. I might shop at thrift stores but I maintain a current appearance. I find it interesting when a 35 year old still dresses like it was the early 90's. It's like they got stuck. I used to get picked on for the clothes I wore. Now I feel like I can hold my own..even with my $5 finds
And regarding appeared age, I think that's because I looked like I was 10 in high school and was teased for it. Now I'm a month shy of 35 and look like I'm still in my 20's. I think it just feels good in a way to be able to feel like "hey you picked on me but look how WRONG you were".I can honestly say I have never picked on anyone in my entire life, but I wonder if people who do pick on people even care when they see the people they picked on years later. I don't know.
All I know is I am doing my best to raise children who are strong and confident, but also compassionate and tolerant. And I will whoop their little heinies if I think they are ever picking on people because it is obviously something that effects people through a lifetime. So far so good...both them seem to understand pretty darn well that you don't judge a book by its cover and that god made us all special. My oldest even seems to have an enormous amount of tolerance for the "mean" and "bad" kids. She's always giving them chances and talking to them about their actions in a loving "I believe in you" sort of way..lol. And hopefully I raise them strong and independent enough that if someone does pick on them, they'll just not really care
I grew up and still live in the midwest. And I think bullying happens everywhere.