I couldn't disagree more. Its person specific. Some people are very competitive and status focused. Others not so much. Rings are a status symbol just like cars, houses and so on to some people. Ever know people who have to have the most expensive of everything? Belong to the most clubs , go on the most extravagant vacations? And often but not always like people marry like people.
"Women want a ring that p*sses off other women"
- Thread starter ShimmyChick
- Start date
TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others
Love it!!!
Many of my friends are tying the knot these days, and ring size is a serious point of contention. Subtle one ups and put downs are rampant, and it's not just among my friends. Friends of friends share stories of these little competitions... My grandmother talks of similar issues when she married, back in the forties. It's shallow and obnoxious...
A lot of my friends aren't traditional brides, they don't wear "classic" jewelry as that doesn't jive with their style. They're often subtly mocked for their choice of rings, be it a little Pac Man ring or a simple eternity band. Women can be catty, and it really shows when it comes to weddings and the like.
A lot of my friends aren't traditional brides, they don't wear "classic" jewelry as that doesn't jive with their style. They're often subtly mocked for their choice of rings, be it a little Pac Man ring or a simple eternity band. Women can be catty, and it really shows when it comes to weddings and the like.
I think it's hilarious, and there is a little truth in it. When I buy things it's mainly out of highly distilled boredom, and the fact that I feel embarrassment about some of my things (because I am a little more well-off than my friends) would seem to contradict the idea that I'm subconsciously doing this to elevate my status above theirs. When I see my friends' engagement and wedding rings, I do sense their pride, but I don't take it as a personal attack.
Weddings and funerals bring out the true personalities of people, I think. They might hide it well til the wedding/funeral time comes around. Then you see what is really important to them.
Personally I don't get why anyone should be judging anyone's ring. You don't know what's important to them, you don't know their budget, and your opinion is not at all of importance at all! It's so obnoxious, yknow? I am just excited when someone is engaged. I still wanna see their ring. As long as they love it, who cares!
I think some of this pressure and intensity around the ring/weddings is rooted in the fact that societally, this is the one day where a woman really does get to have complete control and shape her environment entirely to her wishes without any (sanctioned) judgment or implications attached to her character or acceptableness as a person. The whole discussion reminds me of "One Perfect Day: The selling of American Weddings" by Rebecca Mead - she points out that for the majority of Americans at least, the wedding and it's preperatory processes have taken the place of a sort of "finishing school" and how a woman approaches and handles them says a lot about the adult she's become. If you look at cultures where the woman has no choice in who she marries and plays little part in the wedding planning and arrangements, you'll find that a lot of this competition is more at the level of day-to-day life in the U.S., IMO.
As a wedding vendor, I have that book and re-read it a lot. I absolutely find this to be an American "first world problem", one of those my wallet is so stuffed with cash I cannot close it, and my diamond shoes are too tight kind of things. It's become about how much you can show off your wealth and your taste, and less about the fact that you are actually getting married and becoming a legally recognized entity. I operate my business a lot like how I think...get what you can afford. I can make you amazingly pretty paper goods that will look elegant and "expensive" without you spending a tenth of your wedding budget on them. I actually don't always get hired by the country club crowd because they want people to know they spent a ton, even if what they pay for looks like some stock invite they could make at home. It's so bizarre. "Oh it came from the Service Bureau, they cost a fortune". But they're ugly. I could've made that same thing for $500. And you paid $2000!
I would like to hope that the process and the party go secondary to the relationship but it's obviously not the case, especially not anymore.
I would like to hope that the process and the party go secondary to the relationship but it's obviously not the case, especially not anymore.
Haha it is true to some degree - but no I do not want rings/jewelry to piss off other women...
It is true that I care more about what other women think of my outfits then what men do, because I know women really understands...but other than that reason I have to say ultimately I wear something because I love it and I want to.
It is true that I care more about what other women think of my outfits then what men do, because I know women really understands...but other than that reason I have to say ultimately I wear something because I love it and I want to.
I am SO GLAD I am living in another totally different culture. SO GLAD! The US culture about engagement rings is so different than the one in my homecountry in Europe.