What do you think about paying for your own E Ring??

TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others

#136
hm, i think i'd be fine with contributing some money if there was a certain ring i wanted. of course my SO would have to be okay with it too.

my SO and i have done this with bday/xmas gifts before. some years there's nothing i really want, but i'm saving up for a bag, or a spendy pair of shoes, and he'll offer to split the cost with me or whatever. and it's fine, but honestly, a little less special and exciting than when he goes and surprises me with something on his own. so i'm not sure i'd go this route with an e-ring, but i don't think there's anything wrong with it.
 
#139
A

When he clears his debt he can upgrade you to something larger. In the mean time, it really should be his effort and savings that buys the ring.

Also, I would definitely not recommend getting married until the debt is clear or down to a seriously manageable level. A long engagement would be a great idea in this case!
 
#140
I am with option A on this..allow the man to get what he can afford. That should not change your love for your SO in any way.

Gimmethebag said:
It would completely depend on what my BF was comfortable with.
Click to expand...

exactly, but one should go by the golden rule of 2 months salary worth. if he can stretch it some more, he would and knows that his new wife is worth it in the long run.

Hokaplan said:
I personally think that diamond e-rings are a bigger deal when you're just engaged and newly married. At least for me now (age 45), our children, health and happiness mean more than breaking our backs to wear a big stone on my finger.
Click to expand...

I agree with this statement, as time passes by, you do not think twice about the ring that you got then. Its all about the newly married and logistics of it all. As time passes by the e-ring was a symbol then, the new symbol is children, house, health...the things you and your DH/DW built together.

At the end of the day, you are sharing everything anyway, my money + her money = our money.
 
#142
I say A!! I think it sets the precedence for the start of the marriage. You can spend money buying yourself another piece of fabulous jewelry. Let him pay for this one and not get comfortable with the idea of you helping pay. I agree with upgrading later or believe me there will be a million other things you'll want, like an amazing watch or a statement ring. Eventually, building a life together is what will outweigh all this stuff. Let him be prideful in his purchase.
 
#143
B. I don't think someone else's income should determine what I get, if I can afford it myself.

It'll be both of your money after the wedding anyway, so it really doesn't matter who pays. What matters is that you're happy with the ring and the situation.
 
#144
VuittonsLover said:
The man you love doesn't make a lot of money. You have your heart set on a certain ring. The ring you always dreamed of...

Do you...

a. get the small chip he can afford?

or

b. get the ring you want.. and help pay for it?


You are going to be together forever anyway, right...? Does that matter. What are your experiences...? Has anyone ever done this...?
Click to expand...

No, it wouldn't be the same if I had to help pay for my own ring. The guy is just "supposed" to do it. LOL @ "small chip." My ring doesn't have a giant stone in it by any means, but it's what my husband-to-be could afford at the time he made the purchase, so I'm fine with it. Really.
 
#145
We chose option B. We got married shortly after we graduated from grad school so he, nor I, had a lot of money. We chose the ring the ring that I wanted within our budget and paid for it together.
 
#148
ah, the eternal dilemma . . . . i've known since i declared my university majors (finance & accounting) that there is a fair chance i'll end up marrying someone with a more modest income than my own, so i've definitely done some major thinking on this issue.

the way i see it, if either party is not comfortable going with option (b), that's indicative of potential problems later on down the road. it's senseless to think of "my income" and "his income" if you've reached the point in your relationship where you're discussing marriage. otherwise, it will be like that awful couple in the Joy Luck Club that splits the weekly grocery bill item by item, each paying out of their own individual accounts, down to the last carton of ice cream! (>(oo)<)`
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top