What do you think about paying for your own E Ring??

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  1. The man you love doesn't make a lot of money. You have your heart set on a certain ring. The ring you always dreamed of...

    Do you...

    a. get the small chip he can afford?


    b. get the ring you want.. and help pay for it?

    You are going to be together forever anyway, right...? Does that matter. What are your experiences...? Has anyone ever done this...?
  2. #2 Dec 1, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2009
    Yup. I've done option b.

    Our engagement didn't last, though. The thought that if I wanted something I had to pay for it in a 2 income situation wore on me.

    My current fiance says there's a pride thing involved with being able to get the woman of his dreams the ring of her dreams - and so he wanted to pay for the e-ring. (He also has a limited income).

    My opinion: if there must be a ring, let him get what he can afford... upgrade to what you want later.. You'll be together forever anyway right?! There's plenty of time :smile:
  3. For me, I would pick (b). You will be the one who is wearing the ring. If you have money, why not help pay for it & get your dream ring. :smile: Also, who will ever know that you help to pay for it? :graucho: When you are staring at your dream ring on your finger, you will forget about the money part. ;)
  4. I'd go with A and just get myself a ring hand ring or something else. I guess I'm old fashioned!
  5. Since he can't afford it, I don't mind to forgo the ring I like. I will just wear whatever he buy for me coz I love him :P And if i really must have that ring, I will just buy it for myself to wear, but not as E-ring :biggrin:
  6. B. I would prefer to have what I want.
  7. Go for "A" and upgrade at a later time. I don't think it's a big deal to pay for part of your ring, but I do think there's an element of pride there for a man.
  8. Definitely B! Been there, done that ;) It's no big deal.

    I also bought my own wedding ring because I wanted something special and he just wanted to spend double figures. So I bought my own and he bought his!

    And yes, we are still together :P It's the marriage that's important, not the trappings.
  9. i agree with the majority of the comments on "answer" B.

    i honestly don't see anything wrong with it, however, if it's something that will bother you, then don't do it. if you don't think it'll be a big deal down the road—because let's face it, it sounds OK now when you're looking at your ideal ring, but down the road, will it bother you? to the point that you'd throw it in your husband's face during a fight? i know this seems silly now, but it could happen and that could be lethal. just something to consider.

    that being said, you need to do what makes YOU happy and not worry about what others think. like someone said, you wouldn't have to mention it to anybody that you chipped in because basically, it's none of their business. because all in all, once you're married, it doesn't really matter anyway.

    i also don't see how that's much different from me wearing my mother's engagement ring that she recently handed down to me. she has promised it to me since i was 9 years old (when she bought it) and wanted me to have it now, before she passes on.

    even though my original e-ring is gorgeous and nothing to snub my nose at, i still LOVE my mother's "rock." i wear it every single day and i could care less that my husband didn't technically pay for it. it's an heirloom and i wear it with pride everyday.

    and you will do the same. sometimes in this day and age, chivalry is dead! go for it!
  10. i don't see anything wrong with option b either. i think he is already going to spend a substantial chunk of money and all you need do is chip in to get the ring you want, then why not? upgrades don't usually happen till years later (after the wedding, house, children?) so why not wear something currently that you love if you can help it?
  11. It doesn't matter. After the wedding, for the most part, his money = your money. My husband bought my ring, and although he fully paid for it before the wedding, he took the money out of his savings account. In the end, that's less money sitting in our now combined account for a down payment on our next house.
  12. B.
  13. It would completely depend on what my BF was comfortable with.
  14. I am old-fashioned enough that I wouldn't want to pay for my own engagement ring. It is true that in the long run finances are combined for many couples, so it technically wouldn't matter, but I just appreciate tradition with some things. Additionally, my dh NEVER would have been comfortable with me even suggesting that, so I guess we're well-matched. I'd rather go with a smaller ring initially and then upgrade later on.
  15. oooh... My boyfriend and I were talking about this only a few days ago! We decided that because the ring is something I will be wearing every day for the rest of my life (I hope), we would go with option B. I personally would not want to upgrade. I want to get it right the first time and be content with what I get first time around. :smile: