To borrow or not to borrow...to lend or not to lend...

Do you borrow? Do you lend?

  • No, never

  • Yes, always

  • Depends on the bag

  • Depends on the person

  • Depends on the bag AND the person

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#106
I have a co-worker who knows about my passion for designer handbags and out of the blue she just asked me if she could borrow one of my designer bags for a wedding. I was shocked because I would never ask to borrow my best friend's designer bag let alone a mere co-worker. I really didn't know what to say, so I just said, 'Let's buy one for you. I know a shop where you can buy second hand bag.' She looked hurt and she didn't say anything anymore, but we're still good at work though, nevertheless, it was an awkward situation. Have you been in such position and if not, what would have you said if you had been in such situation?
 
#108
I think it is very odd of her to ask... It would really depend on how close we were, and what level designer bag (price point) we're talking about. I am friendly with a couple of my coworkers and have loaned out a couple of inexpensive clothing & accessory items to them in the past with no issues, but if it were a coworker I wasn't very close with, then no. Also I would be more apt to loan out a $200 bag than a $1K one.

I collect vintage clothing and uniforms and get asked to loan out items quite often. Not only are these items vintage but some of them are valuable and irreplaceable. After several bad experiences of having to chase people down to get things returned and rarely being thanked, I now just tell people I no longer loan items out. I have 1 very trusted person I will loan to, and that's it.
 
#109
ohhh thats a tough one! I don't think I would lend someone I barely know my designer handbag, since it could be ruin and second hand, I am not with her to this event. If were going somewhere together, I would have been more willing b/c I know that I will get back by bag at the end of the night. I think you handled it very well...although awkward.
 
#110
I feel that your colleague must have received some signal from you that made her feel comfortable asking the question. Perhaps she felt more comfortable with you than you intended...?

If somebody should ask me, I would offer a considering painful smile and say ... "I'm sorry, I wouldn't want you to be on the hook should it get damaged in any way, but thanks for honoring me by asking."
 
#111
Eeeek no way! I never let anyone borrow something that I'd be upset about if I didn't get back. It's definitely an awkward situation for sure. I've been asked before by friends to borrow items that weren't necessarily expensive but that I loved. My go-to response is usually something like "I'm really sorry, but I have a rule that I never borrow from or lend things to my friends. It's nothing personal, but I've had some bad experiences in the past and I think it's best to avoid any potentially awkward situations".

It usually does the trick every time.
 
#112
Melissa71 said:
I would've said,"I'm sorry, nothing personal, but I don't lend out my bags to anyone."
Click to expand...

I would agree. There is certainly nothing wrong with saying no. For me, it would depend on bag price range and how close the friendship is.

Even my best bud in the whole world, I would not lend her a 1K bag. A 200-300 sure.. When you lend out your items, any items you run the risk of not getting them back in the same condition you loaned it out, or you may not get it back. So you should not feel bad about saying no.

Personally, I would walk over to her offer to buy her lunch and just explain what Melissa71 said. Who knows, maybe out of that convo, you might be able to help her find her own style of designer bags. :-) Then you turn an awkward situation into a positive one. HTH
 
#113
I wouldn't loan it to her. I would explain, as others have said, I have a personal rule not to loan items to friends. It is just a bad practice. I learned my lesson, with a favorite shirt in HS. Loaned it to my Best Friend, and by the time she FINALLY gave it back, it was stretched out, worn out, and ruined. Not a word of apology either. Never again.
 
#115
Not a tough one for me - I would say no.
I would probably say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, but many of my bags are gifts from my DH and I don't think that he would appreciate it if I loaned them out."
 
#118
I wouldn't. It might be different if she was a really close and trusted friend, but there's no way I'd lend anything to a casual aquaintance. What happens if she loses it or damages it? What happens if she decides to keep it, and makes out she's lost it? I wouldn't take the risk personally.
 
#119
No I wouldn't even if my co-worker is my best friend and would tell her no. I've been burned before by lending out my stuff to people - either they break it or they refuse to return it to me even after hunting them down. This wasn't a handbag but when I doing my grad studies, I lent out a rare expensive book to my then best friend because she wanted to use it for research. After she refused to give it back to me and told me, she's keeping it because it was in her possession. We parted ways after that incident. I am still unable to track down another copy of that book. So never again - I don't trust anybody besides my sisters and mother to lend anything out that I want back in the same condition or to even get it back!
 
#120
Personally I think it was cheeky of her to ask. Also, when someone asks a question that has a yes or no answer, they should not be hurt at all that you said no as it is your prerogative.

I have also had bad experiences in the past, in fact every time I have lent something I have been hurt by the borrowers subsequent actions. The worst happened when I lent my Gucci Jackie to a good friend for her honeymoon or some such important occasion that emotionally pushed me into a corner. She said she would just use it for the fortnight but I had to track the bag down 3 months later and it was beyond in a frayed filthy mess. Never again!

You did the right thing, don' doubt yourself. Let your co-worker buy or hire her own bags
 
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