To borrow or not to borrow...to lend or not to lend...

[alansgail]

I always say no because I lie and say its a Polish superstition and it means bad luck haha

Except for one time... My cleaning lady who I adore and trust 500% said she liked my small Chanel flap so I told her if she ever wanted to borrow it that she could. Well a couple of months later she borrowed it and was so excited. Her happiness was priceless to me

This is so sweet! So nice of you to make someone that happy, good for you.

 

[na294]

This is so sweet! So nice of you to make someone that happy, good for you.

Thanks she borrowed it for a wedding and told me she felt like a star the whole evening. It still warms my heart when I think about it.

I adore her she is such a sweet hardworking intelligent woman who never complains though has had a hard life. I'm glad lending her a bag I never carried very often (ended up selling it to pay for my puppy) brought her so much joy.

 

[My lovely bags]

Practice. Say it out loud, look at yourself in a mirror. Watch your facial expressions- look them in the eye, be firm but respectful. It's like practicing a speech. Once you've perfected it take your "no" show on the road.

+1

 

[My lovely bags]

Just tell the truth. It's too expensive to lend it to someone.

+1

And thanks to other supportive members of the TPF for their advices.

 

[My lovely bags]

Although I like to think of myself as a reasonably generous person, I draw the lines at lending my bags to anyone, except perhaps my mother or my sister for a special occasion. A wedding or an event of sorts. Does this sound selfish?

Not at all. It is very kind of you to share your valuable bags with them for specific purposes such as some special occasions.

 

[My lovely bags]

I get really annoyed if even my books that were lent out to friends were returned in a crumpled condition. It happened exactly once over a decade ago, and since then our friendship has fallen on the wayside. How a person treats belongings that aren't his/her own says a lot about him/her.

And since my bags are thousands of times more expensive than books (and more rare/difficult to replace), I have no problem saying no. If I'm being kind, I may offer a reason, but you certainly aren't obligated to do so! Lending someone something is doing them a favor, not an obligation!

Oh I'm sorry to hear that your books were returned buckled.
I agree with you that lending is a favor and not an obligation and no one can force me to loan my stuff. My sister and I are very close. I know she is here for me no matter what and I for her. She is older than me and she has helped me every time I needed her. But when it comes to bags, she is a bit careless with her stuff. It is only when she asks to borrow one of my bags that I struggle to say no to her. Although If I say NO to her she wont think I am selfish, I just feel like there is a hidden obligation there.

 

[Aelfaerie]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that your books were returned buckled.
I agree with you that lending is a favor and not an obligation and no one can force me to loan my stuff. My sister and I are very close. I know she is here for me no matter what and I for her. She is older than me and she has helped me every time I needed her. But when it comes to bags, she is a bit careless with her stuff. It is only when she asks to borrow one of my bags that I struggle to say no to her. Although If I say NO to her she wont think I am selfish, I just feel like there is a hidden obligation there.

That's so true! Now that I think of it, I think I did lend to my mother a few times, but I know that she takes good care of her own bags anyways. I guess it's more difficult when you know the borrower may not be as careful as you are.

 

[Aelfaerie]

Thanks she borrowed it for a wedding and told me she felt like a star the whole evening. It still warms my heart when I think about it.

I adore her she is such a sweet hardworking intelligent woman who never complains though has had a hard life. I'm glad lending her a bag I never carried very often (ended up selling it to pay for my puppy) brought her so much joy.

Aw, that's so sweet!

 

[BagLadyT]

I’m a nay in my heart but have yay like tendencies. You?

 

[sdkitty]

nay.....not that anyone has asked

 

[Plussizegirl]

I only lend to my daughter.
I never borrow.
Happily, I was never asked to lend a purse to a friend.
If I do not like a purse anymore I donate it.