I truly agree. It is not about being selfish or materialistic at all. It is all about caring and protecting part of our self.
To borrow or not to borrow...to lend or not to lend...
- Thread starter K.Z.
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I truly agree. It is not about being selfish or materialistic at all. It is all about caring and protecting part of our self.
I meant to write "my only indulgence" (borderline obsession!) but it comes down to the same thing! I don't question what other people spend their money on and I would never presume to ask to be part of it. If they offer - that's one thing, to ask is quite another ...
I'm okay with most people borrowing my bags, because most of my designer bags have been bought preloved anyway, and I don't particularly baby my bags. I'd be especially happy if the person was considering buying a similar bag and wanted to take mine out for a spin to make a decision (yup, enabling shopping makes me happy!)
However, I would not let my sister borrow a bag that I wasn't prepared to have trashed, because she is the most careless person I know (and this is coming from someone who is okay with having her balenciaga on the pavement), who takes zero care of any of her stuff. So new bags, nope. Beat up bags - go ahead. That said, if she does borrow my bags and ruins them, it's just bad luck.
So in a nutshell, I'd be happy to let people borrow my bags if I know that they will be taken care of (or just not destroyed actually). But then again, most of my bags are bought preloved so they aren't perfect anyway, so I'd totally understand those whom are reluctant to loan out their expensive bags to others - your money, your call!
However, I would not let my sister borrow a bag that I wasn't prepared to have trashed, because she is the most careless person I know (and this is coming from someone who is okay with having her balenciaga on the pavement), who takes zero care of any of her stuff. So new bags, nope. Beat up bags - go ahead. That said, if she does borrow my bags and ruins them, it's just bad luck.
So in a nutshell, I'd be happy to let people borrow my bags if I know that they will be taken care of (or just not destroyed actually). But then again, most of my bags are bought preloved so they aren't perfect anyway, so I'd totally understand those whom are reluctant to loan out their expensive bags to others - your money, your call!
Call me selfish but I don't make a habit of lending or borrowing things. I am way too OCD with my belongings.. Purses can't go on the floor or some can't go out in bad weather. I would be devastated if something was returned marked up or ruined. I think it's better just to say no and explain that I am just not comfortable with lending out my very coveted personal items.
+1 I'm way too OCD with my stuff and I had bad experiences with items that I lent out in my youth. (most were never returned and those that were, were damaged beyond repair
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This is a gross generalization. People who let their kids crap all over their stuff were probably like that before they had kids too. I have a kid and he knows better than to touch things that either don't belong to him or that have been designated specifically not for his use or access. Obviously, accidents may happen with babies, but accidents may happen without babies either. It's one thing for a baby to accidentally break something and another entirely for a parent to allow children to break or damage things and then "think it's excusable."
No one likes their things, or other people's things in their care, broken or damaged. Not even parents, believe it or not. I mean, really, I can't think of a situation when a parent would hand their kid a friend's Chanel bag and say "here, tear a hole in this; it's ok, you're a small child."
As for the original question, my bag problem is relatively recent and I don't live near family or close friends so no one has asked me, plus I don't own any high end bags, only affordable luxury. If someone did ask, I'm pretty sure I'd have no problem saying no, then I'd point them in the direction of Rent the Runway. I'm very careful with my things and I don't trust anyone else to do the same. I feel no shame in saying that I am selfish with my belongings.
Unfortunately I have to agree with JH. I have a few friends that I knew from grade school and they were not like that (for 28+ years UNTIL they have their own kids. Everything now becomes "I'm really sorry but you know, what can you do? They are just kids."
I think parents don't realize what their kids do, or how it may be negatively perceived by others. We can agree to disagree on this one. But parents always seem to think it's ok that their kids do things, maybe not always extreme, but for instance, I was at a restaurant waiting to be seated, and a kid, with a family also waiting to be seated, was randomly going up to ppl touching them and, apparently trying to play. Well, I'm not interested in having anyone's kid touch me or try to play with me, but the parent seemed to think it was cute, and allowed it to persist without redirecting the child to not harass other ppl waiting to be seated. kids r sticky and slobbery, and if it's my nieces, I'm ok with their stickiness and slobber, but not so keen on strange stickiness and slobber coming up to me.
:giggles:
I also agree with immigratty my niece (bff's baby) is adorable but kind of yucky, I love her anyway. My sister is 15 and is still sometimes... gross. She is only allowed to borrow bags/clothes that cost under $100.00 that I don't care if I ever see again - in fact the last time I went to my moms, 90% of her bags where once mine. Although I have given her one leather MK bag that I couldn't stand... it was a black hole but it works well for her school books.
There are two people I will lend my expensive stuff too: My mom and my step mom because they both realize what these items mean to me. My mom doesn't really do premium but she does have a fair amount of contemporary and occasionally I will go into her closet if I need something specific.
My stepmom has tons of premium and she allows me to borrow - but I baby bags, particularly if they aren't mine so she doesn't worry about me ruining them (the only ones off limits are her m/l flaps but I would NEVER ask to borrow those)
Friends who ask to borrow will either get pegged with "the look" or one of my contemporary pieces depending on the friend. All my premium are off limits to friends - I don't care how long I've know you. It ain't happening.
Some parents, sure, but not parents generally. Clearly, I am a parent and anything I say may be construed as defensive (which it is) and exceptional (which it's not), but not all, or even most, parents are like that. I do not let my kid (who is 7 years old now) go up to strangers and bother them. I never have. Inconsiderate people are inconsiderate with and without kids.
This is off topic but while I am not the most kid-loving person in the world (I like my kid, not so much other people's kids), I do find all the kid-hating and trashing rather harsh and and unnecessary. Not just here on tPF but generally.