I wash my hands after using toilet.
But, I do kiss dogs on the forehead. And trust that those "prewashed," packaged salad greens actually are.
So, probably I'll die of some horrible disease soon.
Bummer.
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To borrow or not to borrow...to lend or not to lend...
- Thread starter K.Z.
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Everyone in my life knows how OCD I am with my bags. So, no one has ever asked me to borrow one. They know that if they did I would probably laugh and say no. 
It is not the Bacteria or those things that stop me sharing my handbags. I just feel like I must be protective of my valuable bags.
I don't like to lend many things, not just bags. Thankfully I haven't been asked really -
(as for kids and dogs - gotta ask the same question: why do dog owners let their dogs run free and when we ask them to please keep them away from the kids, they insist that their dog is super friendly and ('of course') super clean... LOL)
(as for kids and dogs - gotta ask the same question: why do dog owners let their dogs run free and when we ask them to please keep them away from the kids, they insist that their dog is super friendly and ('of course') super clean... LOL)
I honestly would try hard not to freak out in front of them. That said, I'd say politely, "Honestly, I grew up with 3 brothers and even my mom and I don't share handbags, so I've never been comfortable with it."
If they persisted, I'd be blunter and then avoid them like the plague.
It's personal property! You have every right to feel uncomfortable!
When I had a dog (RIP baby :cry
it was usually the polar opposite. My dog was on a lead and kids and parents were forever asking if they could pet him. Even though he looked like the cutest soft toy in Harrods toy dept. he was a 'top dog'-personality Jack Russell Terrier. I used to have to tell them he was unpredictable. No one can guarantee the behaviour of an animal or a kid, but you are responsible for their actions.
A bag is a different matter, it's property. I wouldn't expect someone to ask to borrow my phone for the week, my car for the month or the painting over my mantelpiece for day. I wouldn't think of asking someone to borrow their bag.
3 times I've lent things.
1. Friend: Antique 1920s lace dress for a themed wedding. Came back with a hole.
2. Sister: Missoni mohair coat reportedly for a Winter wedding. Came back matted and dull. She'd worn it out to a club as well as the wedding and danced all night in it. Stank of beer and cigarettes too.
3. Friend: Fairly new, pristine Gucci Jackie bag borrowed for a night, returned a year later "I'm not sure where I've put it for the moment"
. Ruined, rubbed and grubby. No given to my niece, who still loves it. 3 out of 3. Never again!
Well, not to veer totally off topic here, but my dog is ALWAYS on a leash, and freaks out when kids run up to him screaming," DOGGIE! DOGGIE!!!" I guess I don't like the idea of my dog OR my bag being public property, LOL. (Not a fan of those dog owners who let their dogs run around loose, either -- it can be dangerous for everyone involved, including the dogs.)
3 times I've lent things.
1. Friend: Antique 1920s lace dress for a themed wedding. Came back with a hole.
2. Sister: Missoni mohair coat reportedly for a Winter wedding. Came back matted and dull. She'd worn it out to a club as well as the wedding and danced all night in it. Stank of beer and cigarettes too.
3. Friend: Fairly new, pristine Gucci Jackie bag borrowed for a night, returned a year later "I'm not sure where I've put it for the moment"
3 out of 3. Never again!
I don't understand how people think that's in anyway ok. The only time I've borrowed things are typically when I'm inside, dressed for desert summer not office a/c temps and someone sees me shivering and insists on loaning me a sweater or coat. In those cases, I'm super paranoid, don't eat or drink anything, take it off any time I leave my seat, and promptly return it, nicely folded at the end of the day. I don't care if it's a shawl they got on clearance at a discount store. It's not mine, so I treat it like I'm at a Fabergé store.
To me, I don't find my purses something to be lent out. They are a personal possession. Wouldn't lend out my jewelry either. I think it is strange for anyone to even ask to borrow them!
When I had a dog (RIP baby :cry
My dog was on a lead and kids and parents were forever asking if they could pet him. Even though he looked like the cutest soft toy in Harrods toy dept. he was a 'top dog'-personality Jack Russell Terrier. I used to have to tell them he was unpredictable. No one can guarantee the behaviour of an animal or a kid, but you are responsible for their actions.
A bag is a different matter, it's property. I wouldn't expect someone to ask to borrow my phone for the week, my car for the month or the painting over my mantelpiece for day. I wouldn't think of asking someone to borrow their bag.
3 times I've lent things.
1. Friend: Antique 1920s lace dress for a themed wedding. Came back with a hole.
2. Sister: Missoni mohair coat reportedly for a Winter wedding. Came back matted and dull. She'd worn it out to a club as well as the wedding and danced all night in it. Stank of beer and cigarettes too.
3. Friend: Fairly new, pristine Gucci Jackie bag borrowed for a night, returned a year later "I'm not sure where I've put it for the moment"
3 out of 3. Never again!
re. kids and dogs, totally agree. Totally.
Re. the "borrowed for a night, returned a year later," I have had this happen. The last time was years ago and it was only a book, but I began to get resentful over the fact that I had done something nice in lending, and then had to harass the person repeatedly to get the item back. When it finally was returned, it was stained with coffee and stank of cigarette smoke. That was when I decided that whatever the item was, I would only lend it if I truly did not care if I ever got it back.
Any time someone asks to "borrow" an item of mine I really have to think about it.
If I let it out of my hands I just consider it a "gift" and don't worry if I ever see it again.
Exactly. I think most regular on tPF understand these things, that taking care of someones else's possession is about taking care of that person's feelings, it's a matter of respect. I think tPF people understand 'precociousness of the object'. Obviously this does not always apply, and those others can actually make you feel like you're the bad guy for being disappointed with them, being 'materialistic', 'fussy' and 'caring about things more than a friendship' etc.
I'm sorry this happened to you too. I guess it taught us both a lesson. I also give
OR nothing (much to my niece's disappointment/delight
)This is why I have learned to say NO
When I had a dog (RIP baby :cry
My dog was on a lead and kids and parents were forever asking if they could pet him. Even though he looked like the cutest soft toy in Harrods toy dept. he was a 'top dog'-personality Jack Russell Terrier. I used to have to tell them he was unpredictable. No one can guarantee the behaviour of an animal or a kid, but you are responsible for their actions.
A bag is a different matter, it's property. I wouldn't expect someone to ask to borrow my phone for the week, my car for the month or the painting over my mantelpiece for day. I wouldn't think of asking someone to borrow their bag.
3 times I've lent things.
1. Friend: Antique 1920s lace dress for a themed wedding. Came back with a hole.
2. Sister: Missoni mohair coat reportedly for a Winter wedding. Came back matted and dull. She'd worn it out to a club as well as the wedding and danced all night in it. Stank of beer and cigarettes too.
3. Friend: Fairly new, pristine Gucci Jackie bag borrowed for a night, returned a year later "I'm not sure where I've put it for the moment"
3 out of 3. Never again!
Wow that's terrible. One time my mom borrowed my Gucci hobo (way back when it was really in) and she managed to break the handle!!! I was like, how in the heck do you break a handle? Anyway I don't lend to her, but I will give her bags I don't want back. To me that's the safest way to deal with things. If I've given it to her and she breaks it, well it doesn't bother me because it's not mine anymore.
