To borrow or not to borrow...to lend or not to lend...

Do you borrow? Do you lend?

  • No, never

  • Yes, always

  • Depends on the bag

  • Depends on the person

  • Depends on the bag AND the person

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#152
No, I definitely wouldn't. Not even my actual friends. Maybe my mom. Maybe. After she got a "where to place and where to not place" lecture lol (she's a bit rough with bags) Two things I hate people touching are my bags and my computer
 
#154
isabellam said:
I let myself be pressured into lending my wedding dress to a friend of a friend's daughter in law to be. I had to beg and plead to get it back, and when I did get it back, it was dirty and hadn't been drycleaned as I requested. Also, they did not return the fluffy petticoat for underneath.

Now, I do not lend stuff. Either I will give it away, or I will say no. I do not buy my own stuff so that I can share it with others.
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Wow that's terrible, especially for something so sentimental such as a wedding dress! I guess that was one expensive lesson to be learned >O<
 
#155
dangerouscurves said:
I have a co-worker who knows about my passion for designer handbags and out of the blue she just asked me if she could borrow one of my designer bags for a wedding. I was shocked because I would never ask to borrow my best friend's designer bag let alone a mere co-worker. I really didn't know what to say, so I just said, 'Let's buy one for you. I know a shop where you can buy second hand bag.' She looked hurt and she didn't say anything anymore, but we're still good at work though, nevertheless, it was an awkward situation. Have you been in such position and if not, what would have you said if you had been in such situation?
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I am not close with my coworkers, so if anyone at my place of work asked me that, I would answer no as nicely as possible.
 
#156
I seem to be the exception here, because I lend all the time. It makes me happy to spread the loveliness around people I care for. My SIL has two of my bags at the moment, and my oldest niece has one - a Christian Dior she borrowed for an important church-y event last weekend. She'll bring it back on Saturday and I know it'll be in the same condition it was when I lent it.

One of my friends from work needed a bag for a wedding a while ago and asked me for advice about what would match her outfit, so I offered to loan her a bag from my collection that I knew would work. I didn't see the sense in her shelling out hundreds of pounds for something that she would only use once, and I suspected that she'd have ended up buying something naff, so I was happy to help.

Maybe it's because I tend not to buy super-expensive bags, Hermes and the like. Or maybe it's because I trust the ladies in my life, and know that they will treat my bags as precious, whether they were £200 or £800, and return them without reminder. I suspect that a large part of it is driven by guilt - I would squirm like crazy if I was ever in a situation where I could loan, but didn't.

Lending to guys though, that's a different story... :p I have a really rare coffee table book which a friend's husband was coo-ing over at dinner. I knew he had just started taking an interest in photography, so I suggested to him that he take it home and have a look over it at his leisure. We agreed that I'd pick it up when we were next at their house for dinner. A few weeks later, I got it back, and he had FOLDED DOWN the corners of his favourite shots! Honestly! I really had to choke down every bit of dinner that night, and it wasn't until we were in the car going home that I let rip to my DH. He pointed out to me that it's just a book, and not worth losing a friendship over. And he was right. Pesky, always-right zen guy :rolleyes:

- Lips
 
#160
The only person I would trust with one of my bags is my mother (she's seen me baby my bags enough times; she knows they have to have their own chair, not go on the floor, etc) and she doesn't have the same taste in bags as me so that's a moot point anyway.

If I had friends that valued handbags the same way as I do, I'd consider it. None of my friends do, though, so again, no. As for co-workers, absolutely no way! Then again, my co-workers are all male, so I'd be a bit worried if one of them came up asking to borrow one of my bags... :D
 
#161
Lips said:
Lending to guys though, that's a different story... :p I have a really rare coffee table book which a friend's husband was coo-ing over at dinner. I knew he had just started taking an interest in photography, so I suggested to him that he take it home and have a look over it at his leisure. We agreed that I'd pick it up when we were next at their house for dinner. A few weeks later, I got it back, and he had FOLDED DOWN the corners of his favourite shots! Honestly! I really had to choke down every bit of dinner that night, and it wasn't until we were in the car going home that I let rip to my DH. He pointed out to me that it's just a book, and not worth losing a friendship over. And he was right. Pesky, always-right zen guy :rolleyes:

- Lips
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This reminds me of a situation we were in recently. My husband loaned several expensive books to a friend of ours. It was a while and a lot of effort on our part before we got them back, and when we did... the dustjackets and several pages were RIPPED. :wtf: These books were in good condition when they were loaned. The friend never said anything about it or offered to cover the expense - nothing. Just returned them like nothing happened. I was fuming, but my DH is far too nice and refused to say anything to him about it.

Yes, it is *just* a possession, but it is the lack of respect for other people's belongings - and the complete lack of responsibility for damaging them, that bothers me.
 
#162
i have a friend who always come to my room (we both are foreign students who studying in Tokyo,Japan but from different countries ) and she likes to look at my clothes,bags and touch them,she even asked to wear them. i was annoyed but didnt say anything.
luckily our sizes are different so she couldnt try all of it.she even asked me to buy MY clothes in HER size,so she can wear it!!! what the heck she is saying!!!!???????

one day,when we were talking about my new 2010 A/W dior bag,she joked and pretended i will kill her if she kicked my bag......but she really kicked it!!!!!! with her indoor slipper!!!!! arghhhhhhh!!!!!!
 
#163
It's bad enough that people don't return books when you loan them to them, can you imagine your nice purse?
Kindly tell her, "I don't loan out my things, I'm sorry. I'd be happy to go shopping with you to help you pick out one!"
 
#164
I don't lend my things out, but I've given many things away that I don't want anymore. However, I would never let anyone (other than my mom) borrow an expensive item.

OP, you handled the situation perfectly! :tup:
 
#165
Nicola_Six said:
NOOOOOOOO. With that many "O"s...because that would resemble the horrified look on my face.

My rule for lending anything out - be it purses, books, DVDs, CDs, etc. - is only lend it out if you're ok with it coming back damaged or not coming back at all - and the person not paying for repairing/replacing it.

Also, you do not owe your co-worker anything except possibly a simple explanation along the lines of what other posters have said, and incorporating what you said to her as well: "No, I don't lend my purses out because I've had some bad experiences in the past regarding that. But let's go shopping to find you one!"

On a side note, one thing I've learned about carrying out expensive items is that some people who see you carrying them will try to take advantage of your finances and/or your possessions. I'm not saying that your co-worker was intending on doing that, but just be aware of that possibility. Women tend to feel guilty when denying a person a request (e.g. you felt bad when you denied your co-worker's request, even though IMO, and in the opinion of most posters in this thread AND most ordinary people, it's an outrageous request!), and people take advantage of that to try to get what they want.

Anyhow, I hope you continue to feel better about your response. I find gut reactions are generally the right ones - and in the end, you got to do what you feel comfortable with. Good for you for going with your gut!!! :)
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So true regarding the point about being susceptible to other people's manipulation because of your possessions and/or finances. SA's who recognize bag quality may expect you to buy more than you want or intend with an attitude of, "What? You're not going to buy that? You can afford it." I don't know how they can so stupid as not to realize people can see through that. Finally, I think I have gotten better at not feeling I have to impress an SA by making "the big purchase."

Regarding borrowing: people can get miffed if they don't get what they want to borrow. But these same people can act indifferent if they lose, "forget about" or damage the borrowed item. I tell people who want to borrow where they can purchase the item and let it go at that.
 
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