I understand the desire to pick him apart, but he’s passed away and can’t defend himself or respond to any criticism (like him or not). At this point does it even matter? It doesn’t change the past. Let the man rest.
Matthew Perry 1969-2023
- Thread starter purseinsanity
- Start date
TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others
The thing, many of us are not looking at him as a celebrity. I'm certainly not. I don't even like Friends.
Those of us who have known people who have struggled with addiction feel for him on a human level (I'm speaking for myself, but I see this reflected in other people's posts as well). Why can't we have empathy for him just because he was famous? Why dehumanize him and pick him apart when the person he truly hurt most, ultimately, is himself?
The man has tried his best to beat his addictions- formed out of a need for prescription drugs after an accident, not out of teenage rebellion- which takes a strength of character. Why dismiss that struggle entirely?
Except, everyone close to him hasn't said they were hurt by him. They've said he was kind, generous and charitable. Sure addicts cause pain, but this guy seemed to work hard to correct his mistakes. Why is that good stuff coming out about him written off because it doesn't align with some preconceived notion of who he was?
You can acknowledge someone acts badly when under the influence but also recognize that they are not inhumane, loathsome monsters at their core. He clearly was troubled but tried his best to offset that- as per the tributes he has received. People like Michael J Fox didn't need to comment as the public only expected comments from the Friends cast, yet he did comment and it was moving to see how Matthew supported his foundation. It's a more worthy and noble thing to do than the space tourism that the elite are currently spending so much on.
That's not okay, either. Let's show compassion to everyone who is suffering. The opioid crisis is very real and very scary. The world is losing a lot of good people to this disease, and the victims get younger and younger. Judging anyone in this position is terrible, regardless of their socio-economic standing. JMO obviously. I understand not everyone will agree.
Just as I am tired of people lacking in compassion for others' suffering.
Sorry to quote you specifically, A bottle of Red, it isn't my intent to argue with you. Just that your post covered a lot of valid points and I wanted to discuss the other side of those arguments. I respect your (collective) point of view, but I cannot agree with it.
Did anyone else read his book and feel like it was his way of saying goodbye? After I finished it I had the thought that he would not be with us much longer as it felt like goodbye was the underlying message of the book. I also found the last chapters to be tonally different than the earlier ones, making me wonder if he was struggling again. I think his book was a great gift to all as it so humanized addiction and the struggles that anyone, regardless of financial status, go through.
@jblended.
Yes, he was humane and he made mistakes.
But this type of posts rehurt the victims of bad behaviors, his or those who endured the same type of abuses.(triggering like the kids say these days)
There is nothing wrong with remembering the good and the bad about a person.
The living matters too and really the most.
MP owned to his bad behaviors and tried to the best of his abilities to leave a positive legacy ie his foundation.
He knew the deal and gave the living this gift.
JMO
Yes, he was humane and he made mistakes.
But this type of posts rehurt the victims of bad behaviors, his or those who endured the same type of abuses.(triggering like the kids say these days)
There is nothing wrong with remembering the good and the bad about a person.
The living matters too and really the most.
MP owned to his bad behaviors and tried to the best of his abilities to leave a positive legacy ie his foundation.
He knew the deal and gave the living this gift.
JMO
I agree with you that the living and any victims of abuse deserve respect and consideration, of course. And I'm certainly not saying he wasn't flawed and didn't mess up. Nobody is perfect and he certainly wasn't.
However, I think I'm uninformed about the "abuses" you mention.
Who are we triggering? As far as I know, he did not abuse anyone. I thought people were assuming he was difficult because he was an addict. I have never heard of him doing anything wrong outside of taking drugs. 
I must be missing some of the story.
Those who had to live with addicts of any kind.I agree with you that the living and any victims of abuse deserve respect and consideration, of course. And I'm certainly not saying he wasn't flawed and didn't mess up. Nobody is perfect and he certainly wasn't.
However, I think I'm uninformed about the "abuses" you mention.
I must be missing some of the story.
I follow you now. Thank you.
I hope he has peace, and that those who cared for him also have peace, whatever their experience was. It is never easy to see someone you care about suffer from this disease. It leaves the addict helpless and those around the addict equally helpless.
My mother died from her addiction, all of our experiences are not remotely the same and shouldn't be minimized, imo.
We're not all abused, and some of us are/were. I've had the unfortunate "luck" to have been around it with more than a few loved ones, it's a horrific disease, I don't wish anyone to deal with it whether it be their own addiction, or a loved ones.
We're not all abused, and some of us are/were. I've had the unfortunate "luck" to have been around it with more than a few loved ones, it's a horrific disease, I don't wish anyone to deal with it whether it be their own addiction, or a loved ones.
My sincere apologies, @Swanky. I can only speak for my posts but I assure you that I didn't intend to minimize anyone's experience or lump everyone together. I was advocating that we show compassion to all sufferers, as well as the support network around them. I do wish I'd been able to phrase it better.
Thank you for sharing your unique perspective. I wholeheartedly concur with your stance.
Thank you for sharing your unique perspective. I wholeheartedly concur with your stance.
I think what gets confusing for a lot of people is that Matthew Perry was not Chandler Bing. Based on his own recounting he could be very mean and resentful. Being he played the character for his only notoriety.. I think some people get defensive over a man few really knew.
he mentions going to open houses to steal people's meds, people who needed them and probably went through a tough time after their meds were stolen.I agree with you that the living and any victims of abuse deserve respect and consideration, of course. And I'm certainly not saying he wasn't flawed and didn't mess up. Nobody is perfect and he certainly wasn't.
However, I think I'm uninformed about the "abuses" you mention.
I must be missing some of the story.
@Swanky I am sorry for what you went through with your mother and other loved ones!
Thank you
Yes, many addicts will do ANYTHING to get their addiction fed, including stealing and worse crimes sometimes. It's truly horrific.
interesting remarks from george clooney
www.instyle.com
George Clooney Says Matthew Perry Didn’t Get “Joy or Happiness” From Starring on ‘Friends’
George Clooney opened up about Matthew Perry's struggles when working on 'Friends' in a new interview with 'Deadline.'
George wants his private life private but will speak on his deceased “good friends” personal life? Yikes… that’s low