Haha thank you VickyB, Xiangxiang, Miyake... I never heard any comment from any one (love brand name or not) that they are better then me since I am using H, other than TPF!
Ladies...Any RUDE/CATTY/SNIDE/NASTY Remarks about your Birkins or ANY Hermès Purchase
- Thread starter Sambina
- Start date
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korzinka, I find your posts refreshing and balanced, I'm sorry you received 2 strikes. Please do not let that discourage you from posting.
I must be pretty thick, because I have heard all 3 comments either said directly to me or to someone else but in reference to me, and it didn't occur to me to feel insulted/genuinely hurt by them. I would however like to point out that although these comments may not have any negativity in them, I can see how they can still come across as rather annoying to say the least, because as Kensingtonhguy has pointed out, "we are as humans driven by emotions and not always logic."
Sticking to the thread, I had a handbag-loving-girlfriend who said comment no. 1 to me a few years back. Her words if I remember correctly, were "Even if one can afford it, we wouldn't spend that much money on a handbag." I agree the words were merely a reflection of her thoughts, but for a split-second then and there, she did make me feel a slight twinge of guilt for spending an amount of money on a handbag that could be viewed as unfathomable to another person who has the same appreciation for fashion/handbags.
What made her words even more memorable was the fact that this same GF asked me if i could help her obtain the exact bag from my SA a couple of years later when the Birkin craze really hit town. So although I did not immediately perceive her initial comment as negative/jealous/envious, I highly doubt she said what she said because it was of "eye-opening intent" either....Moreover, she knew me for years and it was not the first time I spent an "insane amount of money" on something I adored.
And yes, till date, almost a decade of H obsession later, I still agree that the price of the H-bags are exhorbitant. However, I am a SANE person (my SIL who has the relevant degree can attest to that!
), so although I am willing to spend an amount of money which may seem crazy to another person on a luxury bag/car, for whatever reasons there may be, it is NOT true that I am demented, so I am sure you can see how someone calling me "INSANE", can easily be construed as being rude/nasty/catty.Lastly, although it is our money, we can buy what we like, choose where to wear it, blah blah blah...I totally agree with you that, "If one does not want to hear anything less than nice from friends, colleagues and passers-by, they can choose to not wear and display a bag ...." But I do also think that this works both ways and despite whatever connotations/associations the bag may evoke, if the people were truly good or nice, they could also choose to NOT make comments that can be interpreted as judgmental/mean/cruel-natured. In other words....so what if the comment is a fact or that the perpetrator is merely stating his/her point of view? If I think a person is truly ugly, and 100 or 1,000 or even 1,000,000,000 people would attest to this as a fact (by whatever social standards which would be way too long to go into a debate here), can I go around calling that person hideous, and not come across as catty/rude/hurtful? :wondering
The key word to me is respect. No one needs luxury anything. You could as easily buy a used junker car as a $100,000 Mercedes. Clothes from Old Navy instead of from a big name and expensive designer. I frankly don't understand the attitude of "don't wear an expensive item if you aren't prepared to hear negative things from people."
In polite society, if it still exists, you are certainly free to think whatever you want of how someone chooses to spend their money. But manners would mean that you don't express those thoughts.
I think everyone at some point has been asked with incredulity how much something costs. It's a rude question. And I think it says more about the person asking than whatever item prompts it in the first place.
In polite society, if it still exists, you are certainly free to think whatever you want of how someone chooses to spend their money. But manners would mean that you don't express those thoughts.
I think everyone at some point has been asked with incredulity how much something costs. It's a rude question. And I think it says more about the person asking than whatever item prompts it in the first place.
you know what, at the end of the day, I have worked for what Hermes items I
choose to buy.. I don't really care what anyone thinks except for my hubby..
as far as the looks go, if they aren't looking at your Hermes they'll be looking at
something else.. your ring,, your clothes, your shoes, your hair, your makeup...
I just smile to myself and take it all in!!!
choose to buy.. I don't really care what anyone thinks except for my hubby..
as far as the looks go, if they aren't looking at your Hermes they'll be looking at
something else.. your ring,, your clothes, your shoes, your hair, your makeup...
I just smile to myself and take it all in!!!
Well said, mistikat, and exactly what I've been thinking as I've read this thread. Some people have good manners and some, unfortunately, don't. C'est la vie.
Thank you...I think this is depends on the value of the person...just like some people value diamond while others see it as a stone...just because you may not value the same as other...you should still respect on other choice...I think think anyone deserve to be disrespect just because their value are different...you may think Mulberry / Coach / Lv is good for you...but should people who use Root / non brand hate or disrespect you??? Please think about it before disrespecting others!!! Since I am sure TPFers are spending $$ on bags that we shouldn't but because our love toward handbag there's why you join this forum...if you think we should be disrespect just because we love H then you should be the same toward LV / Chanel / Coach / Mulberry!!
My post was of course not meant to offend anyone as my statements were geared towards the fact that NO bag regardless of its cost, quality or cult-like status is worth quarreling over or making negative references to another individual's sanity, income level, or whatever. I personally work hard and plan towards every H item I own solely because I have settled on a lasting brand that is not likely to rip at the seams (as has happened to me with a few other "luxury" brands) leaving me with a not so pretty designer bag!
Not so long ago I belonged to the group of people who couldn't fathom spending a certain amount on a bag but for reasons such as mentioned above, that has changed.
My "appeal" may indeed come across as "bizarre" to some, but there are more important values to pass on to the next generation than the exclusivity and or divisiveness of material goods and so fights amongst family members over such are therefore wrong IMO.
Not so long ago I belonged to the group of people who couldn't fathom spending a certain amount on a bag but for reasons such as mentioned above, that has changed.
My "appeal" may indeed come across as "bizarre" to some, but there are more important values to pass on to the next generation than the exclusivity and or divisiveness of material goods and so fights amongst family members over such are therefore wrong IMO.
Live and let live!
There are all sorts of people in the world, some more well-mannered/polite, some more frank and tactless. I must admit I do get easily affected by other's comments/opinions and having an argumentative personality, its so darn easy for me to lash out and say something nasty. But I pray to God everyday to help me to act with grace and season my speech, there is really no need to reciprocate or perpetuate more nasty exchange.
There are all sorts of people in the world, some more well-mannered/polite, some more frank and tactless. I must admit I do get easily affected by other's comments/opinions and having an argumentative personality, its so darn easy for me to lash out and say something nasty. But I pray to God everyday to help me to act with grace and season my speech, there is really no need to reciprocate or perpetuate more nasty exchange.
I feel kind of silly making any post in the Hermes forum since there's no way in the near future I could buy a Birkin, but I have been bothered with negative opinions today about luxury purses. I think it's absolutely insane to judge someone because they chose to buy an Chanel bag, LV, Dior, AND Hermes. Yes Hermes is more expensive than the others, but it's the choice of the individual to buy or not buy these bags from them. Some people act like it's a crime to make the choice to buy something like an Hermes Birkin or Kelly. They say things like "oh, well that money can be spent helping people." Well, maybe so, but don't most people have hobbies that take up time and money? Whether you collect paintings, cars, stamps, action figures, antiques, AND purses.. all of these things take up time and definitely money! Even hobbies that don't involve collecting require time and money like being a musician, artist, actor, etc. Does that mean everyone spending money on all these things are bad because they aren't donating it to charities (instead of buying their next painting for their collection)? I don't think so! You have to ask these people who come up with these questions- When is the last time you donated to a charity (more than the $1 with your ebay purchase) or did community service? I bet they won't have any words when you ask them this. I say let the people collect handbags if they wish, even if it's a $10,000 or more handbag. I don't see any harm in it at all and I wish people could just let other people enjoy things!
ONE more thing!- I also think it's stupid when people (my sis in particular) criticize other people (me) for being on a forum about purses. People with hobbies join forums all the time and research their hobbies.
ONE more thing!- I also think it's stupid when people (my sis in particular) criticize other people (me) for being on a forum about purses. People with hobbies join forums all the time and research their hobbies.
I have found that the easiest way to deal with people who make hostile comments about my things is to say "Well then, it's fortunate that I have it and you don't." (It doesn't belittle them but it lets them know that their opinions don't matter to me.)
