Ladies...Any RUDE/CATTY/SNIDE/NASTY Remarks about your Birkins or ANY Hermès Purchase
- Thread starter Sambina
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IMHO comments like those made btw SIL only feed the fodder of nastiness to H owners as they send out the message that H bags are ONLY for a select group to which others are not included. It is not a kind message to send out and one which I hope we do not send out to our children because it only serves to detract from the beauty and artistry that I perceive from H items, thus overshadowing these with negativity and nastiness.
This is what I posted way back in this thread, and I still stand by it:
If a "friend" of mine said something negative I wouldn´t automatically assume that it was because they were broke/ugly/stupid/ill/unemployed etc. like someone else posted. I would first take a glance at myself and make sure that I wasn´t the one coming off as self-centered, arrogant or narrow minded. Just sayin And I am probably guilty of coming off exactly that way at times
If a "friend" of mine said something negative I wouldn´t automatically assume that it was because they were broke/ugly/stupid/ill/unemployed etc. like someone else posted. I would first take a glance at myself and make sure that I wasn´t the one coming off as self-centered, arrogant or narrow minded. Just sayin And I am probably guilty of coming off exactly that way at times
no, I never got any remarks regarding my Hermès stuff since few people of my closest family/friends know that I have it and they're fine with it. the major part of my aquaintances don't even know what Hermès is and the few who would be able to recognize it, well I just don't tell them I own this and that or don't wear that stuff around them when I'm meeting them. I also don't think salespeople here recognize Hermès unless it's in some other luxury brand's shop
Thank you so much for this absolutely great post, as well as your previous one.
You are so right.
" Hurt people always hurt people" nice one!
like what they say..."When people ***** around the things you have, it means they want it so much but they cannot afford it"
Apologizing if Im a bit OT but I have simply noticed that somewhere along the road while carrying an Hermes you will bump into some good and nasty comments about such expensive handbags...so upon buying such purse...it's in the package...some will appreciate and some would react negatively...again just some random thoughts...
H's own method of extremely limited distribution up until recent years would also of course have nothing to do with this perception ???
To be honest, I think that theres nothing more insulting to those that don't/can't have Hermes as to act and talk in this egalitarian way. Hermes is a brand for rich people, its called product positioning, open a marketing textbook.
As a person who is not in this income bracket, I genuinely find this post EXTREMELY offensive.
"Let them eat cake" comes to mind... "The message we send out to our children??" of course its the message sent out to "your" children - notice already how you use the word "your". I was a teenager/early adult just a few years ago and let me tell you if were talking 400k and up (especially up) family income tax bracket life becomes a competition for who's daddy can buy who's daddy for these kids. They also do a whole bunch of other extremely rotten stuff I'm sure their parents don't know about (or blind themselves to) and I won't get into. This is 2011, worrying about whether "your" kids perceive Hermes to be a brand "ONLY for a select group" is really the least of anyones parenting problems.
Your bizarre emotional appeal falls on deaf ears, its a bit of a stretch.
Keep in mind Azoreh, to cover myself here I'm not talking about YOUR children in particular, they might be angels, but this is true of "your" (as you put it) children in general
Moving on..
I think that these so called ignorant and naive masses (of Herme's "quality" that is apparently worth thirty thousand dollars in some cases) would more quickly sympathize with H owners if the same behaviours of buying an H bag were pointed out to them in their own selves, just on a different level. Almost anyone, on any financial level has some indulgences, and whatever they are, are IN PRINCIPLE no different than buying H if we take the amount of zeros out of the equation.
I just saw the Kelly clutch in H's oxford st. boutique yesterday for 5,100 pounds, or was it euros? I think they might have had the price up in euros even though were in London?? anyways, regardless... theres nothing there worth that amount of money. You could buy enough croc scraps in Belleville to make that clutch for under 100$ and probably do it all on a Saturday if you started early. I'm speaking from experience! For those of you who think what Hermes artisans do requires great skill out of the reach of most humans, don't kid yourselves. HOWEVER, I did still think the purse was awesome and stared at it for 10 minutes straight having daydreams of one day being able to buy it for my girlfriend... until I realized I was in a trance. Am I crazy ???
There is nothing wrong with buying the intangible with the tangible right, I mean look at the price of Diamonds
MY POINT: (cuz it seems its getting off track) - Most people buy Hermes precisely because it is exclusive, beautiful, cool, fun, and they can afford it. There is the level of quality sure, much higher than the other brands and of course this is a key selling point. I don't disagree with any of this - in fact I'm 100% all for it, I wish I could afford more H, so far all I have is a little scarf! Saving up for either a Birkin 40 or a Whitebus...
Do I think I'm less of a person for not having H? no
Do I think Birkin owner walking past me is more of a person? no
Do I feel excluded ? well yes, quite clearly, I can't afford to be a part of this group yet.
Is what I am doing / how I am feeling logical? no
Whats my explanation - Im a human being, I like what I like and I get to choose what I do.
also,
This whole concept here is a two way street; I understand the behaviours that I engage in might be regarded as insanely overindulgent to an overwhelming majority of people (such as buying Creed and Serge Lutens fragrances instead of mass market ones - as I cant splash out thousands on H this is me bringing it down to my level)
I personally accept that its just the way it is. I have enough money for it and I do it. My answer to anyone who is angry at me is sorry, thats just the way things seem to have turned out. Sure I've made some choices in life that have bettered my position, but the fact that I was born who I am and my parents sent me to get an education etc etc I can't be held responsible for this, it was just a roll of the dice. I will accept this from H owners with a Birkin in every colour too, its not their fault that they either:
a) made a whole bunch of money and now can buy as many Birkins as they please- I genuinely applaud them for it
b) were born into a whole bunch of money (its not their fault!) I am just thankful I was born into enough money to enjoy even having disposable income of ANY kind at all.
c) were really beautiful and snagged a super rich husband (hey! do what you gotta
I will also accept a certain level of snobbery from these individuals if they so choose, while I would never agree that they are more of a "person" than me, more important on a human level.. I will sometimes, as painful as it is have to realize that I am not on their level socially and economically and just take the reality how it is. Hermes is not made for me or people like me, I am aspirational at best and out of my means at worst. I accept it.
To conclude, (finally) what I really want to say is that we've got to keep it real here, and this is not only applicable to how we carry our Hermes stuff, people will react to what we do this is just a part of life, and sometimes we have to tailor how we present ourselves to others
this should not be seen as limiting your own free expression, or pretending you are not who you are by hiding your H, but instead its just caring and compassion towards other humans, who are as HUMANS driven by emotions and not always logic. We all have some responsibility to be each other's shepherd
In a sense by showing restraint, you are not allowing the opportunity for them to form an unwarranted and bad opinion about you and this is actually doing them/yourself/society a favour. I know its a real sacrifice to not carry your H stuff with you whenever you please (as you paid so much and should have this right) but as I said, sometimes you have to sacrifice.
(even tiny things such as maybe taking the black togo B out instead of the sky blue porosus depending on where you are going)
Its like walking away from a fight, so that the other person does not have the opportunity to harm someone (you) and go to jail. Everyone is better off even though you feel you had to "step down", so to speak.
I'm sure this post is far too long, I apologize already to those who actually read it through
Your level of honesty is refreshing. As much as I preach in this thread I will also admit to acting flawed in this way on more occasions than I am comfortable with. What you've said is a good approach.
Golly yes, that was long...
I asked you before if you're in leather production because of the technical fine-point questions about H you asked, and you said no. So please illuminate the comment above. What experience are you referring to?
Following your great and very interesting post above, I would like to point out that azoreh's post that you quoted was actually one of the most balanced and honest posts, not arrogant at all, and I did like the opinion of that poster quite a lot... There are far more "telling" posts on this thread, plenty to choose from for you to confirm what you are rightly saying.
I wonder if you receive a strike for expressing your opinion on here, as I ended up with 2 strikes in two days at Hermes subforum, after 2 happy years on the forum and more than 800 posts with no strikes... This happened as soon as I gently tried to put forward that the marketing policy of Hermes is deliberately organised to make people feel very "special" and "holier than thou" indeed, because of the whole process of being able to track/purchase the Birkin/Kelly, let alone their money levels. It means that my absolutely neutral comments which merely expressed an opinion, were taken as insults... But it is very easy to get into a trap of treating every comment of everybody who expresses a disagreement with the "bag purchasing behaviour" of a H. owner, as an insult, a jealousy tantrum or stupidity of a "poor".
And even when sales assistants act dismissively in communication with customers, many posters on this forum would defend such practice (as I was told "we will fight for this brand" or "waiting for a bag just makes it more special"(even if this wait is artificially organised), which to me indeed feels like a marketing practice on the borderline to humiliating customers and treating them as bag-obsessed individuals who are even prepared to enter an artificial "relationship" with a stranger, in order to pay £5000 for an item , the production cost of which is £100. . the myth of exclusivity is fed by giving out a 100 times overpriced item as a "prize", making people eait 6 months for their special order (when such a bag could be produced in 5 days, including sourcing the leather, for this money).
Some people fall for the game. They want to be admired, envied, considered specially successful or at least lucky (even for bagging a birkin, since others are only allowed 1 a year if any). It is only natural, especially since they have money to indulge into this game.
Some of the negative comments received by H. owners, that are told about on this thread, are not actually negative as such . Many of those comments are simply true and have no negativity in them . "i would never spend that much money on a bag" is not a negative comment, it is simply a true opinion of a person expressed. "It is not much better than a fake" - this is also partially just true (especially for a person who is not an expert in little indentations on the inner zip pullers) "How can a sane person spend so much as a luxury car on a bag"... - this is also not a negative comment , but it is an opinion that exposes a craze of bag obsession and status symbols game. Some of those people who comment might have negative undertones in how and when they say it, but sometimes the comments carry a genuine eye-opening intention.
Unfortunately , many comments of this kind are immediately taken as an insult. "if you do not have to say anything nice, do not say anything". Why?
If one does not want to hear anything less than nice from friends, colleagues and passers-by, they can choose to not wear and display a bag , which, by nature of it's price and distribution politics, evokes less than nice associations in many good, nice people in this world.
Please tell me you are kidding by saying this! So If I wear a H bag, I deserve nasty comments from my friends/colleagues/strangers because I provoked them by wearing the said bag???
For your information, I've never received any rude/nasty comments about my H or other expensive bags from friends or strangers. I have no experience with this but I found your logic hard to understand.
^Exactly.. and how is someone insinuating that a H bag owner is insane, not negative when they say "a sane person wouldn't spend that much on a bag etc"? 