No. For these folks I think it's like the old sayings, "the more you have the more money you spend" and "the more you know the more you want". For some folks, once they have experience a certain level of quality (real or imagined), they can never go back. You just don't get the same thrill anymore. And to be honest, that is what makes (or made until the recent state of the economy) the world go round.
Hermes Return Policy (or: How to Curb Bad Behavior)
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No. For these folks I think it's like the old sayings, "the more you have the more money you spend" and "the more you know the more you want". For some folks, once they have experience a certain level of quality (real or imagined), they can never go back. You just don't get the same thrill anymore. And to be honest, that is what makes (or made until the recent state of the economy) the world go round.
@Julide -- Quoting from the wikipedia article again (which may or may not be accurate/complete/etc, but anyway):
Shopaholism often begins at an early age. Children who experience parental neglect often grow up with low self-esteem because throughout much of their childhood they experienced that they were not important as a person. As a result, they used toys to compensate for their feelings of loneliness. Adults that have depended on materials for emotional support when they were much younger are more likely to become addicted to shopping because of the ongoing sentiment of deprivation they endured as children. During adulthood, the purchase instead of the toy is substituted for affection. Shopaholics are unable to deal with their everyday problems, especially those that alter their self-esteem. Most of the issues in their lives are repressed by buying something.
Perhaps the greater the price tag, the greater the effects?
@Valencia -- interesting fact about Amex! I read somewhere that credit card companies frequently pay for counseling (behavioral, not credit).
Shopaholism often begins at an early age. Children who experience parental neglect often grow up with low self-esteem because throughout much of their childhood they experienced that they were not important as a person. As a result, they used toys to compensate for their feelings of loneliness. Adults that have depended on materials for emotional support when they were much younger are more likely to become addicted to shopping because of the ongoing sentiment of deprivation they endured as children. During adulthood, the purchase instead of the toy is substituted for affection. Shopaholics are unable to deal with their everyday problems, especially those that alter their self-esteem. Most of the issues in their lives are repressed by buying something.
Perhaps the greater the price tag, the greater the effects?
@Valencia -- interesting fact about Amex! I read somewhere that credit card companies frequently pay for counseling (behavioral, not credit).
I've been on this forum long enough to see some real bashing and some really nasty threads, and so far this is not one of them. I will admit some points I don't agree with (okay, I'll admit it, made me a little angry at least the way they were written), some points make me reassess my shopping habits ("retail therapy" vs disorder), and others I wholeheartedly agree with. So far I think this has been an open discussion and a pretty thought provoking one. I can understand how some feel that they are being targeted in a roundabout way, but I think over the course of the thread there have been enough said on both sides of the argument that this has not been a one sided discussion. And honestly, I do recall some threads where people did reveals and mentioned returning the bag, and I don't think any of them are on this thread (I could be wrong, but the ones I remember didn't stay around too long).
ITA!!!
Yes so true! Thank you Valencia!!
This is such a great thread to read!! I have truly enjoyed it!! I will check back tomorrow!!!!
Another perspective:
My DH and I were looking for new houses and we were totally disgusted by people who bought homes they could not afford. Now with the whole banking downfall, it turns out that some people were conned. Would I pass judgment on them? I think not. I feel bad for them.
Another one:
In some communities, you are required to have the best of the best and to show you are on top of your game. There is a lot of pressure and people do totally idiotic things under pressure. I feel fortunate that I am not one of them and I don't have to play the game.
Some women maybe in abusive relationships and doing this maybe their only way out. I used to know of a girl who would go shopping to feel better, to feel more in control.
In this economy, a lot of people's wealth profile is changing. They can't buy things they used to and that makes them feel powerless.
I am not saying that any of the excuses/reasons makes serial returning right. I am just saying....
I don't think that Hermes attracts people suffering from oniomania, not in particularly high rates compared with every other seller at least IMO. I mean, I once knew someone who'd return ice cream to the grocery store saying it was an impulse purchase.
Personally I wouldn't even bring the topic of shopping disorders into discussing returns, because I'm sure there are many people who do have shopping disorders, and can afford their purchases and do not return - and possibly no-one would even classify them as even having a disorder unless they figure it out for themselves!
I think economics has a lot to do with people's purchases and returns, more so than any shopping disorder. Yes, people do like to shop, most women do. In the current economic situation it is difficult to make luxury purchases, and sometimes if a better item shows up in a couple days it would be most tempting to get rid of one that can be returned for the sake of another that one likes better...because one cannot afford to keep both.
In a perfect world one would always get the perfect item on one's first try, and keep it forever...but then look at the current divorce rates
.Jedimaster:
This is my point.
1.) Who are you to decide what is healthy/unhealthy?
She is a Jedi.
:ninja:
In a perfect world one would always get the perfect item on one's first try, and keep it forever...but then look at the current divorce rates
Well um yes. Better to return a bag than a husband!
This discussion reminds me of a couple of written works:
One by Thorstein Veblen, who coined the phrase "conspicuous consumption" in the late 19th century in "The Theory of the Leisure Class."
And another by Peter Mayle (the author of "A Year in Provence") who wrote a book about the buying habits of the extremely wealthy (I think it is called "Expensive Habits").
Both give a glimpse into what motivates people to spend money on luxuries (surely H qualifies) and how they deal with it once they do (the benefits and the risks)
One by Thorstein Veblen, who coined the phrase "conspicuous consumption" in the late 19th century in "The Theory of the Leisure Class."
And another by Peter Mayle (the author of "A Year in Provence") who wrote a book about the buying habits of the extremely wealthy (I think it is called "Expensive Habits").
Both give a glimpse into what motivates people to spend money on luxuries (surely H qualifies) and how they deal with it once they do (the benefits and the risks)
I think this has been a great thread and have read through the whole thing more than once. I have not seen what I would call bashing of anyone in particular. I don't think anyone would disagree that serial returning is wrong or that returning clearly used items is wrong, nor do I think anyone in here would hold someone with a clear 'problem' in contempt, but rather view them with sympathy.
I think that 12 pages on a potentially treacherous thread with numerous well-written posts and varying points of view and without major "incident" is a testament to the caliber of people in this little sub-forum. Kudos to all for keeping it a civil give-and-take of ideas and opinions.
I think that 12 pages on a potentially treacherous thread with numerous well-written posts and varying points of view and without major "incident" is a testament to the caliber of people in this little sub-forum. Kudos to all for keeping it a civil give-and-take of ideas and opinions.
And another by Peter Mayle (the author of "A Year in Provence") who wrote a book about the buying habits of the extremely wealthy (I think it is called "Expensive Habits").
The Peter Mayle book is Acquired Tastes. It's from 1992 or 1993. Great book, easy read, and quite informative with hindsight being 20/20 and all.
zoopla 
It's so awesome to read your comments and see you looking out for other tPFers who might feel uncomfortable with this thread. This *can* be a touchy subject, and like irishlass says, it's great that everyone can discuss this sensitively and without a major incident. But it's so heartwarming to see you emphasize it.
I wonder if there's something about Hermes in particular - that it's soooo expensive and sooo exclusive - that people buy-then-return just to experience that high of ownership for a day? You know how there's the bag-borrow-steal website? To rent a bag you have to pay. But to buy a bag and return, you get all your money back.
Also, I wonder if you can argue FOR a no-returns policy by comparing the return of an H bag with the return of a car. You can't return a new car; as soon as you drive it out of the lot, it's yours, so you really have to do your research before you buy one. I would never question that policy. Of course, cars show wear much more quickly than a bag does, if just the treads on the tires - but they're both investments. And definitely, having a no-returns policy would encourage people to think more deeply before committing...
It's so awesome to read your comments and see you looking out for other tPFers who might feel uncomfortable with this thread. This *can* be a touchy subject, and like irishlass says, it's great that everyone can discuss this sensitively and without a major incident. But it's so heartwarming to see you emphasize it.I wonder if there's something about Hermes in particular - that it's soooo expensive and sooo exclusive - that people buy-then-return just to experience that high of ownership for a day? You know how there's the bag-borrow-steal website? To rent a bag you have to pay. But to buy a bag and return, you get all your money back.
Also, I wonder if you can argue FOR a no-returns policy by comparing the return of an H bag with the return of a car. You can't return a new car; as soon as you drive it out of the lot, it's yours, so you really have to do your research before you buy one. I would never question that policy. Of course, cars show wear much more quickly than a bag does, if just the treads on the tires - but they're both investments. And definitely, having a no-returns policy would encourage people to think more deeply before committing...
I don't think that Hermes attracts people suffering from oniomania, not in particularly high rates compared with every other seller at least IMO. I mean, I once knew someone who'd return ice cream to the grocery store saying it was an impulse purchase.
Personally I wouldn't even bring the topic of shopping disorders into discussing returns, because I'm sure there are many people who do have shopping disorders, and can afford their purchases and do not return - and possibly no-one would even classify them as even having a disorder unless they figure it out for themselves!
I think economics has a lot to do with people's purchases and returns, more so than any shopping disorder. Yes, people do like to shop, most women do. In the current economic situation it is difficult to make luxury purchases, and sometimes if a better item shows up in a couple days it would be most tempting to get rid of one that can be returned for the sake of another that one likes better...because one cannot afford to keep both.
In a perfect world one would always get the perfect item on one's first try, and keep it forever...but then look at the current divorce rates
Well said-BTW I like your quote --that has always had particular meaning for me
Clearly few people can to afford a string of H items in our current environment, you sound as if those that can must be mad.
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