I totally flip if I get a manicure and they whip out one of those super coarse files like they use on acrylics. I cringe and pull my hand away! LOL!
It's makes my hair stand on end, LOL!
I find that helping my nails "breathe" between manicures for at least 12 hours really helps. Besides that, limiting the amount of acetone used on the nails (have you tried peel off base coats? My nails have become MUCH stronger by barely using acetone, and I don't get as much stainage either). Last but not least, maybe you shouldn't buffer when your nails are in such a fragile state?