Family and Friends give you grief over your Handbag addiction?

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I think the issue may be the wording. For a boss, or anyone in a professional setting, I'd go with 'I'd rather not discuss it' instead of 'none of your business'. And at work I'd never say 'don't touch my bag and I won't touch you'. That would get me a conversation with HR - the difference in touching an item and touching a person. Yes, boundaries need to set, but in a way that won't reflect badly on the speaker.

Well said!
 
Back to the topic.

My close family members and friends know about my designer handbags. They don't judge.

Strangers don't know so they don't judge. Luckily most don't seem to notice or care. As for the others. A few strangers and random acquaintance have asked over my bags in the past and I have been honest regarding my designer stuff. Most only compliment my bags. And so I get away with a simple 'thank you'.

Any kind of luxury are seen as excessive in a place where I am from. Whether it's food or branded things. You can certainly have nice things, but you can't flaunt them.
 
My main issue was with the wording. 'Don' t touch my bag' indicates a imperative, commanding tone.

Stereotypes exists. Especially about women and their handbags. In addition, social context matters. Despite one's intention, you can't fully control how others will view and judge you. Whether it's gendered, racial, religious, class or age related. They are more or less present in our social existance. Sometimes they intersect.

I have been labeled as an emotional, hysterical female before. Add the racial context then I am a rude, angry Asian woman. An issue over a handbag can lead to weird impressions in workplace and in school that I don't want to deal with. Setting boundaries can be done in an appropriate and polite manner. Being polite and constructive are not mutually exclusive.

And also. You come across as condescending and aggressive yourself over something that each and one of us should be able to handle as we see fit in our daily lives.
I may come across as condescending and aggressive to you. And, that’s ok for me. I know I have been direct but polite with my opinion and perspective. My “issue” is with lying and tacitly supporting illegal activity. At no point did I encourage anyone to be rude or inappropriate for their culture or setting. :rolleyes: Candidly, I don’t carry very expensive bags in the workplace because they are not appropriate for my field and role. So professionalism is something I feel is of utmost importance.

But, to your point, as women - particularly ethnic women / POC - we are often told we have to be soft, speak vaguely, seek approval or “get along” to be appropriate. I’m not yielding to the silliness. Not on the job, not with friends and certainly not on a forum about bags. Polite and thoughtful? All the time. Constrained and limited? Never.
 
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My main issue was with the wording. 'Don' t touch my bag' indicates a imperative, commanding tone.

Stereotypes exists. Especially about women and their handbags. In addition, social context matters. Despite one's intention, you can't fully control how others will view and judge you. Whether it's gendered, racial, religious, class or age related. They are more or less present in our social existance. Sometimes they intersect.

I have been labeled as an emotional, hysterical female before. Add the racial context then I am a rude, angry Asian woman. An issue over a handbag can lead to weird impressions in workplace and in school that I don't want to deal with. Setting boundaries can be done in an appropriate and polite manner. Being polite and constructive are not mutually exclusive.

And also. You come across as condescending and aggressive yourself over something that each and one of us should be able to handle as we see fit in our daily lives.

+100 :tup:
 
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I just carry mine. If someone says something I show my passion for it. I can't help it anyway. When I show my passion it pretty quickly shows me the other persons intent. If they start pulling up pics of their bags, watches, items on their phones and excitedly talking about it then I continue on with them. If they make a comment about price, their issues, something like "must be nice" with a sneer, I honestly feel sorry for them. If you can see my passion about the item and you still respond with something negative then I pity you. So many terrible things going on in the world and you cannot share in my excitement and passion over something so small and fun??? Life is really too short for that crap.
 
I find that most people (strangers, frienemies, neighbors, co-workers and unfortunately sometimes even family) will judge anything that they don't do until they do it! I guide myself accordingly, for better and for worse..

So true when we had a child 3 + years ago my BIL and SIL took great pleasure in telling us that our baby holding or looking at our phones would fry her brain. 1.5 years later when they had their son he is glued to their phones. Not a fan of hypocrites but people do love to judge.

OP ignore and enjoy is my thing. Most in my family won't say anything to me directly. Even if they did I hope they know me well enough to understand I wouldn't give a crap :D
 
I just carry mine. If someone says something I show my passion for it. I can't help it anyway. When I show my passion it pretty quickly shows me the other persons intent. If they start pulling up pics of their bags, watches, items on their phones and excitedly talking about it then I continue on with them. If they make a comment about price, their issues, something like "must be nice" with a sneer, I honestly feel sorry for them. If you can see my passion about the item and you still respond with something negative then I pity you. So many terrible things going on in the world and you cannot share in my excitement and passion over something so small and fun??? Life is really too short for that crap.
This is it in a nutshell. :yes:
Life is too short...be nice to others, enjoy your things, compliment others on items they have that you like. :tup:
You may just make a new friend and you're making that person feel good at the same time. :yahoo:
 
I just carry mine. If someone says something I show my passion for it. I can't help it anyway. When I show my passion it pretty quickly shows me the other persons intent. If they start pulling up pics of their bags, watches, items on their phones and excitedly talking about it then I continue on with them. If they make a comment about price, their issues, something like "must be nice" with a sneer, I honestly feel sorry for them. If you can see my passion about the item and you still respond with something negative then I pity you. So many terrible things going on in the world and you cannot share in my excitement and passion over something so small and fun??? Life is really too short for that crap.

Beautifully said! :tup:
 
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I don't come from money and no one in my circle of friends/relatives wears designer stuff. But I wear my bags and clothes around them regardless. I bought those items to enjoy them and that's what I'm going to do. Granted, most of these things are pretty low-key without any big logos front and center (except maybe for Prada) so they're more or less unrecognizable to an untrained eye. If someone asks how much my bag costs, I will tell, but I won't be volunteering that information if it's unwanted.

Also, that hasn't really happened to me yet, but in certain circumstances, I don't mind lying that my bag is fake, if I feel like the person asking might have an unpleasant reaction and cause some problems.

I love this. I almost-ish did this before, when I am travelling for work, someone as if my Cabat is from Charles and Keith, and I said yes :lol: After at dinner, a friend of hers come to me and we start talking about bags, and she commented, what's there to talk about Charles & Keith, and her friend say its not, and she avoid me whole night:giggle:

But yeah, I used to get 'nagging' from people around me for purchasing expensive bags, and after I do calculation [I'm an accountant], I prove to them that its cheaper to get 'branded' bags in the long run, they shut up. It's more than 15 years now, and I no longer care. But one thing I hold true, buy what you love, not what you wanted others to see you as / hoping to resell after.
 
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I love this. I almost-ish did this before, when I am travelling for work, someone as if my Cabat is from Charles and Keith, and I said yes :lol: After at dinner, a friend of hers come to me and we start talking about bags, and she commented, what's there to talk about Charles & Keith, and her friend say its not, and she avoid me whole night:giggle:
Oh, that must have been awkward :lol:

But yeah, I used to get 'nagging' from people around me for purchasing expensive bags, and after I do calculation [I'm an accountant], I prove to them that its cheaper to get 'branded' bags in the long run, they shut up.
Way back when I didn't care for quality I would buy faux leather bags from Asos and other similar brands, and they would get trashed after like 6 months. Those were cheap, yes, but I literally had to buy new ones all the time. And they looked and felt exactly how you'd expect them to - cheap.

There are many bags and accessories brands here in Russia that pretend to be Italian and sometimes British or German. They price their items accordingly, and people buy into it. But they're Russian, only sell locally, and are made mostly in China. Of course, all of that info can be found in like 5 minutes if you know how to google, but very few people do that. As you can imagine, the quality of their merchandise is... well, it's not horrible, but it certainly leaves much to be desired. They're all over malls and online resellers.

Now, I could buy a new bag from a brand like that, OR I could go preloved and buy an actual designer bag. Mostly contemporary, but luxury brands can be found at that price point occasionally, too. Yes, it would have some wear and tear, but that would happen eventually to any new bag. The quality is drastically different, plus I get the design and the brand history. So quite often, what happens is, I might have an 'expensive' bag, but actually, we spent the same amount of money. Go figure.
 
I've spent way too much money on my bags to not use them. If there's a pattern of my bags costing uncomfortable amounts then they can refrain from asking the name and brand of my bags going forward.

But I also know what my work environment is like and my friends/family know that I have my finances in order and will shut down conversation about how much I have spent. The people at my office don't care about labels and it's not frowned upon
 
PF is the only place where I openly talk about my passion and love for designer items. I am 34 and have been buying/collecting for 12 years and here is what I’ve learned so far: around my friends I wear whatever and if anyone judges me, then they aren't my friend anymore. I work in a law office and I wear whatever, if anyone judges me then I will wear louder bigger logos and louboutins until they get used to it.

Life is too short not to enjoy wearing and using your designer items while you are still here:love:
 
There are some good reasons not to wear your stuff in certain circumstances mentioned here: 1) you are going to do something, e.g., work in food cupboard, where it would be ostentatious; 2) if you wear to work, the boss might consciously or subconsciously think you have money and don't need a raise; 3) you wear to client meeting and client suspects he is paying you too much. The comments, questions, opinions of friends, relatives, DH, all depend on your particular circumstances and only you know the right thing.
 
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