Does your SO/spouse know how much your bbag cost?

#46
i have to agree with impasto, hellosunshine and chanelsuperhero. it is afterall your own money that you are spending and you are not struggling with debts.

even if you are married, it is still your own income - you work for it, you can choose how you enjoy it.

personally i think being honest with each other is important, especially when you are going to move in together soon. hidding things from each other will only strain the relationship.
 
#47
LOL! I'll be honest with him about the costs of my bags, when he starts getting honest about the costs of his bicycles. Guys have expensive habits too! We basically don't give each other grief.

IMO, I'll just tell the boy if he asks, and he'll just have to deal with it. It's all about financial management, and as long as you budget well and don't get into debt to support the bag habit, it's ok. HTH,
 
#48
I feel that as long as you're not spending more than you earn and you pay off your CC bills on time, that's fine. But if you're going to be spending a lifetime with this person, you should also factor in the cost of buying a home, paying for your children's education (if you want children, that is) and then after all of that is taken in consideration, determine how much money you feel you can really justify spending on yourself. Once you've taken care of that, I feel that it shouldn't be anybody's business but your own how much you spend on bags. I think, though, that you should be upfront about the cost of the bags to your SO in the future. If he has a problem with it, then have a talk with him and tell him that you've responsibly planned out your finances and it shouldn't matter to him if you spend your money on things that make you happy. On a side note, have you thought about looking at bbags locally then ordering them from BalNY or Aloha Rag? I know that you're new to bbags. There's quite a price difference between Canadian and US prices, especially with the weak dollar now. The work sells for US$1800 and both BalNY and AR ship for free (AR if it's more than $500 but if it's a bag, it will be over $500). That would save you a couple hundred of dollars so you can reduce guilt. :biggrin: Hope this helps!
 
#49
i don't think there's a problem with spending your own money. so have that in mind, i've been pretty honest with my boyfriend of 4 years about my bag purchases. and i was just like you in the beginning, didn't know if i should be honest with him about the cost. but after having told him the real cost of my bags, he totally understands and said that i probably isn't normal if i don't like bags! and now i can go bbag shopping with him, and he would give advices.. he actually like bbags compares to rest of the brands! and now he always surprises me with something balenciaga!

if you're honest with him, i think things might turn out better than the way you expected.
 
#50
Toriatan said:
On a side note, have you thought about looking at bbags locally then ordering them from BalNY or Aloha Rag? I know that you're new to bbags. There's quite a price difference between Canadian and US prices, especially with the weak dollar now. The work sells for US$1800 and both BalNY and AR ship for free (AR if it's more than $500 but if it's a bag, it will be over $500). That would save you a couple hundred of dollars so you can reduce guilt. :biggrin: Hope this helps!
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shipping cross canadian borders SCARES ME. Balny is better than Aloha Rag, paid $300 on tax and duty if you have it shipped overnight on a city, if you didn't pay for overnight shipping, expect to be $500+. let's not mention aloha rag, the custome charged me $102 on a pair of shoe of $275, my friend didn't listen to me, ordered a Jaune GH work, the custome charged $600. turned out to be more expensive than just getting it in canada.
 
#53
I'm honest with my DH too... I've actually had to "train" the thought that my taste for bags run in the thousands with him. It certainly wasn't an overnight deal. Since you've been with ur bf for 6yrs... I'd come clean in a gradual way when you guys are still dating. It's a lot easier coming clean when you guys aren't married yet vs.. letting him find out or hiding the actual costs when you guys do end of getting married and having to share expenses. Just my 2 cents.. I was once there where you were.. ;)

It's all good, once he gets it.. he can accompany you to the store and help you pick out bags too!
 
#54
hellosunshine said:
well if it's your money and your not putting off any other important financial payments (like your spending getting in the way of paying rent/mortage, car bills, electrical bills, etc) then I don't see the big deal with spending your money the way you want to. But then again I would also be honest about how much I paid for the purse because at the end of the day I'm not supposed to feel like I have to justify my purchase..I mean if I didn't have the funds then I wouldn't have bought it in the first place...so I'd feel comfortable enough telling my BF.

by the way this is coming from a first year university student with no BF..but that's how I'd deal with the situation.

do you guys share cards..because then he might find out on his own. =/
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Noo we don't share anything at the moment, except share taking turns for who pays for what we do haha.

We are just getting ready to move in together and such.

The thing is though, he was brought up to understand the worth of a buck, he's a business man, his family are wealthy business family and he would NOT understand, infact he would be absolutely furious at me for spending that much on a bag.
When I was telling him before I was thinking of buying a 1300 dollar bag he said that if I spend my money like that he doesn't want to live with me because he can't trust I will be responsible with money.

I hope i'm not making him out to be some controlling a** because he is the most laid back boyfriend ever, but when it comes to me spending money he goes bonkers because he doesn't understand why my jeans are 300 dollars and why I need such expensive things. :/
 
#55
Toriatan said:
I feel that as long as you're not spending more than you earn and you pay off your CC bills on time, that's fine. But if you're going to be spending a lifetime with this person, you should also factor in the cost of buying a home, paying for your children's education (if you want children, that is) and then after all of that is taken in consideration, determine how much money you feel you can really justify spending on yourself. Once you've taken care of that, I feel that it shouldn't be anybody's business but your own how much you spend on bags. I think, though, that you should be upfront about the cost of the bags to your SO in the future. If he has a problem with it, then have a talk with him and tell him that you've responsibly planned out your finances and it shouldn't matter to him if you spend your money on things that make you happy. On a side note, have you thought about looking at bbags locally then ordering them from BalNY or Aloha Rag? I know that you're new to bbags. There's quite a price difference between Canadian and US prices, especially with the weak dollar now. The work sells for US$1800 and both BalNY and AR ship for free (AR if it's more than $500 but if it's a bag, it will be over $500). That would save you a couple hundred of dollars so you can reduce guilt. :biggrin: Hope this helps!
Click to expand...

Oh no I'm only 20 (almost 21 :smile:)

I do make enough to buy a couple bags a month although I don'tt think I can even justify buying a new bag everymonth no matter how much I want to haha.

I had no idea baout those sites becasue I thought it was impossible to find balenciaga bags online unless it was some unauthorized retailer so I was a bit weary.

I will check those sites out, maybe I should return this one and get one from the site? I feel guilty returning it though, what do you think?
 
#56
starrie said:
shipping cross canadian borders SCARES ME. Balny is better than Aloha Rag, paid $300 on tax and duty if you have it shipped overnight on a city, if you didn't pay for overnight shipping, expect to be $500+. let's not mention aloha rag, the custome charged me $102 on a pair of shoe of $275, my friend didn't listen to me, ordered a Jaune GH work, the custome charged $600. turned out to be more expensive than just getting it in canada.
Click to expand...

ohhh yikes! definitely don't want that! nonono
 
#57
For me, I would be upfront about it because after all ... it's your money and not a joint account AND you mentioned the bills are getting paid, etc., etc. It's tough though because you said he has a big problem with spending alot of money on certain things ... I think it's just that most guys don't understand! My boyfriend knows what I spend, but then he has his video game addiction that he spends money on, so we're kinda even.

Good luck on your decision to tell or not to tell. I would lean towards telling because if he's going to have a huge issue with you spending your own money on a few expensive things here and there ... better to know now than years down the road.
 
#58
I feel very strongly about being open and honest about finances. If you do not tell him and "hide" the expense you are only perpetuating the notion that you can't be trusted. And it is setting a very bad precedent for your future.

When you move into together you should discuss how you will manage finances--joint accounts, each pay half of expenses -- whatever. If you plan to go "joint" discuss each having an allowance.

I would also question the need to hide expenses if you do make a good living. If you can truly afford it and still be fiscally responsible, then I see no reason to be secretive.

And you and your boyfriend should very open discuss your financial philosophy and what you value. Sounds as if they are different. The goal woud be to get greater understanding and empathy of each other's view.

DH and I each have an allowance. He thinks what I spend on bags is a bit silly but he knows I do it with my allowance and I don't jeopardize our joint account and our joint financial goals. Total trust is established.
 
#60
I won't offer the information, but if he asks I'll tell him how much it cost. As a lot of you said already, it's my money and he doesn't care as long as I'm no going overboard.
 
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