Taking an Hermes break or just slowing down. Feel free to join or give support.

[880]

Unless just a passing fashion trend, people who are connoisseurs and collectors of H (and other things) tend to be the intensive types.

I think we should list our intensive hobbies/ practices and turn them into habits:

I aim to spend more time on:
Dancing (latin, contemporary ballet and freestyle) I could dance all day 💃
Playing piano (I'm terrible- I'm owning-up to that ) guitar (I used to be good) and castanets (just to annoy my neighbour who revs up his supercar every morning 6am)
Meeting more friends more regularly - always intense, always a pleasure
Reading - actual books (Dante's Inferno is on the BC list for March) I aim to get lost in-between the pages and not get distracted by new season scarves
Keeping a journal (also something I'm terrible at, but I started last month with a few random words, so not exactly 'intensive' but may get there)

DH and I are taking private French Lessons twice a week (four hours of lessons plus homework is all I can manage)
BUT it’s two blocks from H Madison. , , ,lol.
BUT, I don’t always go so that is progress

 

[Fixxi]

I get waaay into my hobbies for sure. When I had my kiddo, it was too time consuming to do anything, so I think shopping (first Chanel then Hermes) became a hobby in a way (after all, there's so much to learn about the artistry, history, techniques) - all fascinating. Now that the kiddo is a toddler (3 in May) I'm slowly having a bit more time for hobbies (things I can actually do with her!)

When I get into things, I get obsessive. My photography hobby turned into a paying side gig at one point (one for now a major dog food company, and another gig at West Elm!) So much time and money poured into buying equipments and learning new techniques.

Lately, it's golf. Just bought a membership today, and have started building my own set - decent clubs that are too good for my level (for now, anyway). We are looking to install an indoor simulator in our house also. It has been a great distraction from H. And honestly much cheaper - my husband and I laughed how the membership was cheaper than any of my H handbags lol (it's not a country club - probably helps!)

I dont know if I'll ever quit H, and I acknowledge my privilege of having gotten a QB then some, definitely helps feeling like I'm not chasing anymore (I don't intend to buy any more bags this year) but lately I feel like I'm less one-dimensional than I was when I was entirely focused on H (don't get me wrong - I just got 2 scarves, a pair of hot pink orans, etc from H, but definitely being more mindful about the purchases).

I am loving reading about what others are into and focusing on these days!

 

[kerebear]

I really appreciate the honesty and transparency in this thread!

I’d consider myself a newbie. I first got into Hermès after buying a vintage Doblis suede Hermès shoulder bag (1940s) in Paris in 2019. I knew next to nothing about Hermès, Birkins, or Kellys but since then i have been fascinated by the quality and how well their bags hold up over decades! I started consistently shopping H in 2022.

I’m really enjoying my H experience right now and i love shopping with my SA. I appreciate having an SA who is fun to shop with, isn’t pushy, and really tries to get me the items i want! I figure i’ll ride it out a little longer because who knows when he might leave, and there are still items i want. Strike while the iron’s still hot and all that! I’ve met a couple other SAs at my store and let’s just say I prefer my SA’s vibe haha.

That being said, this year i’m slowing down a bit on luxury shopping. Last year i went a little crazy. I’ve decided i want to be more intentional about pieces i add to my collection, no matter the brand. I’ve also been focusing on using what i already have in my closet and experimenting with new outfits, finishing my skincare and makeup before buying more etc lol.

I’m also slowing down because after the past 2 years of discovering H products in different metiers, i’m realizing there are less things i need/want to buy now. I’m a pretty simple girl… There are really only 2 bags i want now, only one of them is a QB. And tbh i’m starting to consider getting it vintage in a gorgeous heritage leather!

I think after buying hopefully all that is on my wishlist this year i likely will not find any use driving over an hour to the boutique just to buy a few small items a year. I’d rather use the website.

For now though, i’ve made a list of items i want to buy from H this year and the months i want to buy them in. (It’s flexible though as H seems to never have what you want when you want it haha). Hopefully this helps me to stay focused! So far i feel more in control of my shopping habits and i’m excited to have more “fun money” to use for traveling which is my favorite hobby!

 

[phoenixfeather]

Yesterday I went on a big shopping haul with my husband and son. At the end we went into Hermès, which was nearly empty, with all of our big shopping bags, including a big LV and Chanel bag. A few SAs were free and everyone seemed to be wanting to serve us. I asked if my SA was still working there at all. They said yes. Then I had my own childish "Pretty Woman" moment and said that it’s too sad she didn’t answer my texts. With that said we left. I know it’s rude and childish and it wasn’t planned. But that was just the way I felt at that moment.

 

[may3545]

I'm not sure I can take a break, but I do plan to slow down.

I fell in love with Hermes around 2004 or so? Started with second hand, as I was still in college and scraped whatever I could from 3 part-time jobs to shop as a way to de-stress. I got a Paris-bombay and adored it. My first birkin was a blue jean swift B35 in 2006 and it was amazing. I purchased secondhand from various resellers, bought and sold what didn't work. And being a newly graduated student with some student loans, I couldn't amass a collection until much later. I bought one, then sold it to fund a new one. I guess my fashion taste was fickle. I loved the novelty of a different bag. Anyway, I'm now a stay at home mom of 3, and I think my H shopping ramped up once I was a mom! My husband and I had the funds for me to shop, so it was my way to de-stress. My SAs usually just shipped me things because I have no time to go to the boutique. Finally my kids got older and were all in preschool/school, so I can go into the store! It was lovely to get to know SAs, and I don't think there was as intense a game as it is now. I had QBs, SOs, and I was able to buy what I wanted, never felt pressure. Still, shopping was always limited to 15-30 minutes because I have groceries to do, kids to pick up, meals to cook, errands to run, the list is ongoing (and still is!). When I go to the boutique now, it really is still short and swift. I go in knowing what I want, though also with an open mind. It's fun, short and sweet haha.

But I just have enough now. I have lots of RTW, shoes, silks, SLGs, and bags. Plenty of bags that I hardly use. I think my last QB quest felt a bit strained, because I just really really wanted it. I did wait and am so happy with it. Also my husband just retired, so we just can't spend the same way. We have means to send our kids to private schools, live in a beautiful home, and eat healthy food, as well as take trips in the winter and summer, but H shopping (the pre-spend game type of spending) isn't a part of the budget. I can buy something small, say a scarf or basic RTW, but I can't just buy fine jewelry as easily as before. I also still love buying Dior and Chanel RTW, so I just have to think more carefully about what I buy. I do want to curate my wardrobe and cull my collection, which will ultimately give me more fun funds. I just have a harder time letting go of things now than when I was in my 20s-- I fear seller's remorse.

Changing habits is key, but shopping is my dopamine hit. I have to seek new dopamine hits. Perhaps more exercise. I want to focus on getting really healthy: eating well, exercising, and improve mental health. I love reading at night, so I read multiple books on my kindle at once. I am trying to make more friends in our new state, so I am doing a lot of "mom dates" to build my tribe.

Slowly and steadily. I love H and will continue to shop there, but I just need to slow down, buy less, and enjoy everything I have purchased. I am grateful this thread exists.

 

[liberty33r1b]

may not be the right thread to post this but recently I've come to realise that I have wayyy too much stuff (fashion, clothes and shoes in particular) and that while I truly enjoy everything the pieces I REALLY love (not just to wear but touch, look at, admire) and just gravitate to most are all the items I bought at Hermes over the years (couple of bags, lots of homeware, scarves), so that this year I've decided to buy only Hermes and not go anywhere else, i.e. less stuff and only quality. no more high street, other designers and items I might only wear once because they are toooo fashion. my closet needs a breather, and I feel like over the years I got more conscious about what I really shouldn't spend more money on and what really is worth it and will enjoy for years to come

 

[papertiger]

may not be the right thread to post this but recently I've come to realise that I have wayyy too much stuff (fashion, clothes and shoes in particular) and that while I truly enjoy everything the pieces I REALLY love (not just to wear but touch, look at, admire) and just gravitate to most are all the items I bought at Hermes over the years (couple of bags, lots of homeware, scarves), so that this year I've decided to buy only Hermes and not go anywhere else, i.e. less stuff and only quality. no more high street, other designers and items I might only wear once because they are toooo fashion. my closet needs a breather, and I feel like over the years I got more conscious about what I really shouldn't spend more money on and what really is worth it and will enjoy for years to come

Do you want me to create a new thread?

 

[Love Of My Life]

may not be the right thread to post this but recently I've come to realise that I have wayyy too much stuff (fashion, clothes and shoes in particular) and that while I truly enjoy everything the pieces I REALLY love (not just to wear but touch, look at, admire) and just gravitate to most are all the items I bought at Hermes over the years (couple of bags, lots of homeware, scarves), so that this year I've decided to buy only Hermes and not go anywhere else, i.e. less stuff and only quality. no more high street, other designers and items I might only wear once because they are toooo fashion. my closet needs a breather, and I feel like over the years I got more conscious about what I really shouldn't spend more money on and what really is worth it and will enjoy for years to come

I think many of us are recognizing that are closets are full of beautiful acquisitions that we have owned
& are now wearing & enjoying for a multitude of reasons.
While I think it's always good to round out one's wardrobe with pieces that one may not have considered
over previous collections & to recognize mistakes or over buying, perhaps since prices are
hitting us between the eyes, the reality of what is in our closets now has a different appeal
For me, Hermes hits all the boxes especially in many of the RTW categories.
Coats, leather jackets, beautiful tops that are under the radar & just speak to me as being timeless
which I'm happy to say that they are. Some collections are hit & miss but that is with any designer
& so if I see RTW I don't mind making multiple purchases because who knows what collection is
going to offer me what I'm looking for.
And perhaps our interests are changing.. shopping just isn't filling us with the same level of fulfillment
that it once did..
I recently signed up for a cooking class as well as a movie group discussion..all good, JMO

 

[suzy wong]

I realised a couple of years ago that I no longer use and don’t need any of my Hermes bags and passed on all of them bar one to a consignment store. Probably not surprisingly my favourites went first and the one remaining at the store is the one for which I had almost instant buyer’s remorse after picking out on a whim a while ago. The one I have kept is a B40 and it fits all my office paraphernalia, so serves a purpose and will be kept. I don’t need it, but as a small memento of a once much busier existence, why not!

 

[GabrielleS]

I think many of us are recognizing that are closets are full of beautiful acquisitions that we have owned
& are now wearing & enjoying for a multitude of reasons.
While I think it's always good to round out one's wardrobe with pieces that one may not have considered
over previous collections & to recognize mistakes or over buying, perhaps since prices are
hitting us between the eyes, the reality of what is in our closets now has a different appeal
For me, Hermes hits all the boxes especially in many of the RTW categories.
Coats, leather jackets, beautiful tops that are under the radar & just speak to me as being timeless
which I'm happy to say that they are. Some collections are hit & miss but that is with any designer
& so if I see RTW I don't mind making multiple purchases because who knows what collection is
going to offer me what I'm looking for.
And perhaps our interests are changing.. shopping just isn't filling us with the same level of fulfillment
that it once did..
I recently signed up for a cooking class as well as a movie group discussion..all good, JMO

This makes sense. I am fortunate like many of us to have a lot of beautiful items (not all designer) I enjoy that also work for my lifestyle.

At this point, a purchase needs to be a replacement item, filling a hole of something I don’t have/“need”, or just something I love as much as my already favorite items. I am applying that to everything these days from my wardrobe, cosmetics, home etc…

I did buy something from Hermes’ recently that fell into the last category and I am very happy with it (though my SA may not have been thrilled I only bought the one item!).

I don’t love a head to toe look in any designer or brand when the look is recognizable. I do browse internet and magazines because I love beautiful things and seeing how people put them together. It also helps me see what is out there and decide what I really love. If I forget about something I liked after a day or so, I know I don’t truly love it. I don’t go to malls or shop in person as a hobby or for entertainment so that probably helps.

 

[BareniaKelly]

Good for you.

I was really "into" their bags and scarfs in the early 2000s. They are not just beautiful things, but there is a thrill in the hunts. The acquisition. The process of purchase. The H bubbles which gave me respite from real life just as all other recreational activities tend to do. The touching and smelling of the Barenia leather in particular. (I spend many days hand rubbing several layers of Hermes Baume onto my Barenia, that is how much I love that leather).

But, like all recreational activities, they can either serve us, or we ended up serving them if we aren't careful with a healthy attitude and a healthy balance.

It is OK to just enjoy what we have, savouring them every minute, and appreciating them deeply.
It is OK not to have to chase after the next thing, to have to constantly look around to see where we are at in relation to others.
It is OK not to give in to the trolling and hyping of big corporations who are all gobbling up the medium to big brands, as they compete with each other to see who can gobble more.

Thank you so much for creating this space. Because I remember how it was. After about 15 years of shying away from all these, I came back to nose around and I am shocked. The prices are crazy. The social media push is beyond over the top. If I thought it was hectic and exhausting in 2008 it is now beyond that a thousand folds. If I was self conscious carrying my Hermes bag in certain places because they are way too visible BACK THEN. Now, even with the simplest of designs, they still managed to be extra "loud". (Who says Hermes is "quiet". As someone brilliantly put it, only the H in Hermes is quiet LOL).

All the best to all of you.

Enjoy what you have now. Take it from me. I am older now. There are certain things I just can't get away with today that I could 15-20 years ago. I wish I had simply enjoyed more of what I had then, instead of going around chasing dragons.

Hugs all around.



EDITED for spellings and to clarify phrases.

 

[FrenchNewbie]

Just wanted to add that I texted my Chanel SA after I hadn't texted her for two years. Asked her if she had a certain bag type that I want available. She sent me pictures of five different styles plus some pictures of wallets I'm interested in. She kindly reserved two pieces for me to pick up when I'm there on the weekend. Don't know if I will even stop by at Hermès even though they are in the same street.

Just to update you all on my story - and thus hopefully encourage the ones who, like me, are atm quite annoyed by what is going on with H. A couple of days ago, my SA Voicemailed me that a set of homeware i reserved had arrived, and if i was still interested in buying. I answered her - very politely - that i hope she is doing good, shared a couple of things from me (so as to not come of as *****y or as if it was her personal fault) - but stated that i am very dissappointed with the H customer relationship strategy and their rules for loyal clients and therefore won't proceed with the order. I know, it won't change the game. I know, it won't bother the store or my S.A. at all. But it made a difference for ME. I said what i felt was not the way i wanted to be treated and followed through.

And yes, I did buy lovely vintage Chanel and Prada for the budget i had set aside for H

I think it is liberating and it helps us, who are bothered by there antics a great deal - and that, to me, is the most important thing: if you are bothered by something, mostly the only thing you can change is: your approach to the situation and how you deal with it

I totally agree with this. I went into Chanel, LV, and Dior on a shopping haul this weekend---and the vibe was totally different. The SAs actually greet you and act like they actually want to help you (versus the H SAs making you feel like your are lucky to get access to them).

The other Vuitton SAs (who weren't even my SA) interacted with me as I passed by them, and were not robotic. I was asking my Chanel SA about the XXL Flap and 2 other SAs complimented me on my outift and joked with me about some stuff we had in common. The Dior SA was so helpful in trying to help me find 2 items they didn't have in store, and I looked around to see other SAs smiling and joyfully interacting with their customers. Even customers interacted with each other and exchanged pleasantries in all of the stores.

In Hermes, there is a stark comparison. As many have mentioned here--there is pressure/stress, it's like you are going in there, hoping you "make the cut"---hoping you can somehow impress them, hoping they will "let" you buy something. If they are not helping you at the moment, the SAs walk right by you as if you don't exist and they have no time to exchange basic human pleasantries. Also customers don't really interact with each other--it's like their mind is programmed to only interacting with the SA when they get the privilege of being assisted; and don't want to be "caught" talking to another client.

A very interesting dynamic & culture/ecosystem Hermes has created...

 

[aa_]

I love this thread and want to thank everyone that has shared their very true and raw experiences.

I am a young Hermes customer and started buying around 2.5 years ago. Fashion is both my passion and hobby and like some of you I came to realize I had too many things in my closet I didn't use and love and decided to switch gears and only buy high quality items that would last a life time. That naturally drew me to Hermes.
My first year was intense. As someone described in a previous post, a lot of "collectors" are intense. I went monthly to the boutique, spent most of my disposable income at Hermes and I let go of a lot of other hobbies that brought me joy.
Needless to say, soon after the first year I felt Hermes anxiety and fatigue. I was stressed I was not buying "enough". I was anxiously planning every visit to try to optimize my spending categories in hope for a bag. One day I cried at home because I thought my spending would never be "good enough" to get a Q bag offer. That was the definitive turning point, I was upset that the whole experience of shopping had created such negative emotions. So I decided to step away for a few months and that gave me so much clarity. I rekindled the love for the items I already had and went back to other daily hobbies that positively contributed to my daily.

I have a great relationship with my SA. They are friendly, polite and never pushy. But somehow still the whole buzz around the brand creates an emotional roller-coaster for customers!

I still go to the boutique every 2 months or so. The difference this time around is that now I feel I have the upper hand because my attitude changed....I don't need anything! Every time I go to the boutique I am filled with joy I get to gift myself beautiful things that I will cherish for years to come. I stopped trying to be strategic about my shopping and simply enjoy the dreamy reality that I am ABLE to shop so leisurely at Hermes due to my hard work!

Have I gotten any bags offered? No
Do I ask every once in a while? Yes
Do I have a competitive spending ratio? Who knows at this point Last time I managed to take a peek at my profile I was at 2:1

But I stopped worrying so intensely about it all. There are so many beautiful things in this world and I although a BBK might be high on the list, it is not the absolute top and I concluded neither is Hermes.

*Edited to clarify some wording

 

[Evia]

It must be 2 years since I bought anything from Hermes. Not a conscious decision - I haven’t thought about it - more a combination of having enough, a more relaxed life, stock availability and so on. Sold 6 bags last year and haven’t missed them.
I did have a thought to buy a new scarf before Christmas but the design choices were dismal, and the price well beyond I’ll treat myself territory, so that was that. In short, I’m no longer shopping or looking, and it’s fine. I’m content. Feels like a phase I’m over with if I’m honest. I’m planning on selling most of the rest of the Hermes I own and keeping just a few favourite things.

 

[BareniaKelly]

I love this thread and want to thank everyone that has shared their very true and raw experiences.

I am a young Hermes customer and started buying around 2.5 years ago. Fashion is both my passion and hobby and like some of you I came to realize I had too many things in my closet I didn't use and love and decided to switch gears and only buy high quality items that would last a life time. That naturally drew me to Hermes.
My first year was intense. As someone described in a previous post, a lot of "collectors" are intense. I went monthly to the boutique, spent most of my disposable income at Hermes and I let go of a lot of other hobbies that brought me joy.
Needless to say, soon after the first year I felt Hermes anxiety and fatigue. I was stressed I was not buying "enough". I was anxiously planning every visit to try to optimize my spending categories in hope for a bag. One day I cried at home because I thought my spending would never be "good enough" to get a Q bag offer. That was the definitive turning point, I was upset that the whole experience of shopping had created such negative emotions. So I decided to step away for a few months and that gave me so much clarity. I rekindled the love for the items I already had and went back to other daily hobbies that positively contributed to my daily.

I have a great relationship with my SA. They are friendly, polite and never pushy. But somehow still the whole buzz around the brand creates an emotional roller-coaster for customers!

I still go to the boutique every 2 months or so. The difference this time around is that now I feel I have the upper hand because my attitude changed....I don't need anything! Every time I go to the boutique I am filled with joy I get to gift myself beautiful things that I will cherish for years to come. I stopped trying to be strategic about my shopping and simply enjoy the dreamy reality that I am ABLE to shop so leisurely at Hermes due to my hard work!

Have I gotten any bags offered? No
Do I ask every once in a while? Yes
Do I have a competitive spending ratio? Who knows at this point Last time I managed to take a peek at my profile I was at 2:1

But I stopped worrying so intensely about it all. There are so many beautiful things in this world and I although a BBK might be high on the list, it is not the absolute top and I concluded neither is Hermes.

*Edited to clarify some wording

Thank you so much for sharing this!

I just have to jump in real quick here, because one of the things I was shocked about is this term "Quota Bag", or "Spending Ratio", or "Target Spend", and the explicit numbers people are talking about.

The quantification of what was in the past simply a qualitative judgement of clients' brand loyalty and status as a regular customer worthy of special treatments, really unsettles me.

The idea that customers who have paid, and must pay, a premium, working as hard as, if not harder, than their paid sales team, to chase after a sales target, was horrifying to me.

This effectively made high paying clients a part of their sales team, without paid salary. 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

Part of me wonder if this is not also some kind of bidding war Hermes is waging against a part of the market base that they do not necessarily seek to retain. In fact, perhaps, hope to expel.

This is a topic for a different thread maybe, I shall stop here.

Just want to validate your feelings and sense of things. You are not alone. 🌷