Would you ever let your 12 year old borrow your designer bag?

[Vegas Long Legs]

in the other thread, that was my point EXACTLY!!! (but no one seemed to agree).

There were alot of people that agreed with you! Someone as young as 14 even! The mother even came in & said the 12 year old was too young.
The money issue is irrelevent. What a trashy thing to do, to email you. I'd report them.
That thread is closed now.

No! for many of the reason listed here. Including taking away life experiences as they are naturally suppose to happen.

 

[Vegas Long Legs]

No. I don't have a 12 year old, but there is a reason that children that young are not allowed to drive or make other adult decisions. No matter how responsible they are, they really don't have the judgement to be carrying a really high-end bag around. Nor should they be saddled with the responsibility. When we expect adult behavior from children, we will inevitably be disappointed and then it is the children who get blamed. It just wouldn't be fair.

I agree about starting a younger person with a lower-priced bag. If she takes care of it, then she can start moving her way up the bag heirarchy. Besides, if you start out carrying Hermes, where is there left to go from there?

AMEN!!!

 

[Vegas Long Legs]

Why do kids have to grow up so early? The only time when life is simple an uncomplicated is when you are a kid, when what you carry, what you wear or what you do in your free time is not all-important, and you are not part of the rat-race that is adulthood. The simple fact that 12 year olds do ask for designer items means that they already recognize that 'some things are better than other things' a concept that is normally alien to childhood. I consider it an extension of the materialism that is already rampant in this part of the world.

The age of majority and sexual consent is placed above 12 years, and it is placed at a higher age for a reason. Youngsters are bucking even those norms because there is a societal pressure for themselves to prove themself as 'adult like' as possible as soon as possible.

Why are we enablers for that kind of situation?

You said this so beautifullly!

 

[tlloveshim]

what about D&B or Coach bags that are between 200-500? I don't think that's a big deal.

That depends on one's financial circumstances. For me $200 to $500 is a lot of money for a bag, forget anything over $1,000! So, I may loan my daughter a wristlet that I got for under $100 for a special occasion but not one of my $400 Coach bags. I have a Hayden-Harnett bag that only cost me $160 and I wouldn't loan that one out just because it'd cost me too much to replace it now. (got it on sale)

Once, when I was 14, my mother loaned me a pearl ring that was irreplaceable. I left it in the school restroom and it hurt me so badly that I lost something so special to her that I cried my eyes out for hours. Luckily, someone found it and returned it. I personally wouldn't want to put my daughter in that position. If it were a bag that I hadn't carried for a long time and didn't want anymore, then that'd be different. But if it would grieve me if it were damaged then no, I'd not loan it out to her.

Still, bottom line is that it's a personal decision and we all have different comfort levels when it comes to things like this.

 

[Swanky]

12? nope!

But I guess ask me again when my DD is 12. I'd guess most of us parent a little differently than we always thought we would

 

[Aslan]

Why are we enablers for that kind of situation?

You are focusing too much on the 'designer' aspect. What if she just wants to borrow a bag because it looks cute, not because it's got LV written all over it? How are you re-enforcing negativity by letting her wear a bag she thinks is cute. I think it's more likely the case that a 12 year old would like to wear a 'cute' bag than she's thinking about labels.

That depends on one's financial circumstances. For me $200 to $500 is a lot of money for a bag, forget anything over $1,000!.

I meant that for example. Everyone has different finances, and different circumstances. I too, think 500 dollars is a lot of money. It doesn't take away from my opinion that letting a child wear a RELATIVELY (relative to the parent's finances) inexpensive bag is not a big deal.

 

[Jadore]

I am a couple of years older than year (17),and my mom still doesnt let me borrow her bags Yet she borrows mine . Her defense is that I have my own. If I had a 12 y/o girl if she wanted to borrow my bags I would only let her if she was next to me on a special occasion,and if she had a great appreciation for designer bag.Ever since I was 13 I wanted a designer bag. When I was 14 my parents purchased a leather coach pouchette bag.

 

[merika]

bchleo - I wouldn't lend it if she was making an emphasis on the designer, nor would I lend it if she thought it was cute. I simply do not think that a 12 year old carrying a designer bag for whatever reason is appropriate. I would not want her to come under undesirable scrutiny even if she took the bag because she thought it was cute, and for no other reason.

Of course someone else could counter my argument by saying 'no, I'm going to be with her all the time, she's not going to be anywhere unsafe' or 'she's just going over to our friends, and it's a safe environment there'. I'm not the type of mother who likes their kids to be able to slip through argumentative loopholes. So no designer bags. Not until I say it's okay.

I like my kids to be kids, be safe and be happy. Depriving them of a designer bag is not likely to kill them. Carrying a designer bag in an undesirable place just might.

 

[sonya]

Guys..if this topic has already been ..ummm..BEATEN to death in the Chanel forum..WHY OH WHY would you start ANOTHER thread on it???Especially after a MOD had to close it??
OY!

Jill, I wasn't aware the other thread was closed. In fact, it wasn't when I started the thread.

It's not exactly the same question, but it is similar. I was wondering if people thought differently if a child borrowed a designer bag instead of being given /owning one. That is a very different situation. It seems that the issue a lot of people have is with seeing a young child with a designer bag and what materialism that can develop because of it. Actual ownership doesn't seem to be as much of an issue as accessibility to one....

 

[tlloveshim]

It doesn't take away from my opinion that letting a child wear a RELATIVELY (relative to the parent's finances) inexpensive bag is not a big deal.

I agree. Depends on the child, on the family's financial status (what one would consider inexpensive) and if one could live without the bag if it were in fact damaged. There are just too many variables to consider for there to be one right answer. Definately an interesting thread!

 

[Jadore]

Jadore - I wouldn't lend it if she was making an emphasis on the designer, nor would I lend it if she thought it was cute. I simply do not think that a 12 year old carrying a designer bag for whatever reason is appropriate. I would not want her to come under undesirable scrutiny even if she took the bag because she thought it was cute, and for no other reason.

Of course someone else could counter my argument by saying 'no, I'm going to be with her all the time, she's not going to be anywhere unsafe' or 'she's just going over to our friends, and it's a safe environment there'. I'm not the type of mother who likes their kids to be able to slip through argumentative loopholes.

I like my kids to be kids, be safe and be happy. Depriving them of a designer bag is not likely to kill them. Carrying a designer bag in an undesirable place just might.

I agree with some of your points in your other posts,I agree with the idea that kids should not grow up fast (I emphesise this completley,I hate seeing little 12 y/os wearing ho clothing).But how about if the 12 year old wanted to use the bag,and it was a non monogram bag,and she was mature. Certian 12 year olds look older than what they are. When I was 12 I was 5'6 ,mature for my age mentally,and phsyically.

 

[Aslan]

I'm not the type of mother who likes their kids to be able to slip through argumentative loopholes. So no designer bags. Not until I say it's okay.

So it's just not at your comfort level, and we are all entitled to our own views on raising children. But to say that letting my 12 year old wear one of my bags is going to lead to her becoming a label- whore ("some things are better than other things") is a bit silly, for the reason I mentioned earlier.

 

[melhoneybee]

i wouldn't lend my bags to a 12 year old. I would buy her a LV pochette so if she trashed it at least my bags would be safe. Teenagers generally don't have a well developed understanding of value and you appreciate things more if you work for them. 12 is too young to be carrying a bag that equates to 2 years pocket money

 

[loren]

my 11 year old has a juicy bag of her own and a little pink and white coach bag. both were about $50. My 16 year old received a speedy 30 for her 16th birthday. she also borrows some of my designer bags that I no longer use and she takes very good care of them but they are under $500. range. I am trying to teach her the value of having something that is nice so she will learn to take care of things. other than her speedy, most kids would not know she was carrying isabella or kooba. my kids do not live a life of luxery but they have grown up with a lot more than I ever had.

 

[print*model]

Not going to happen.

I sent my 13 year old out tonight to go see the High School Musical concert with her new Juicy Couture Daydreamer bag. She's at a HUGE venue. You should have seen me demonstrating to her how EXACTLY to carry her new bag over her shoulder and close to her body while in crowded areas! LOL! I was FREAKING OUT and it's not even my bag!

She's so cute! When she got there, she called me. They are watching the concert from an executive suite. She's like, "Mom. There's a buffet here and I'm hungry. Where do I put my bag while I'm eating?!?!?" I think I've got my poor little child paranoid. LOL!