I have learned that:
1) I don't have to buy it TODAY. In fact, if I am in a frenzy, and feel like I have to do it TODAY, it is ALWAYS better to wait until tomorrow. Or wait a week. It doesn't matter if the SA is holding it for me, or if I already have the cash in hand. Never pull the trigger while in a frenzy. I need to force myself to sleep on it and buy from a cool, calm, rational place. If I am making a purchase to alleviate any kind of anxiety, then I know it's coming from an unhealthy "addiction-ish" place. I will always feel better about it (and enjoy the piece more) if I wait and make a purchase feeling 100% calm, confident, prepared, and unashamed about any aspect of it.
2) I will never enjoy a handbag that I have to hide from my husband. I've flirted with going down that road before, and I have vowed to myself that I will not give in to it. I want to enjoy my things out in the open, with his blessing. He may not ever understand my love of bags or value them in the same way, but if it's something that I have to hide, then it's obviously not something that fits into our joint financial goals, and I know that, or else I wouldn't be tempted to be sneaky. Everything out in the open. Sleep easy at night.
3) I don't enjoy matching my bag to my clothes. I appreciate a bag SO much more when I commit to it (for, like, a 6 months, 12 months, maybe more??) and wear it with more or less EVERYTHING. I got a mono Speedy 30 last year for Mother's Day, and I used it literally every day for a year. I wore it to the grocery store, to church, out to dinner, to the movies, to volunteer at my kids' school, to travel, to yoga, to walk around Toronto all day with my friends . . . literally everything. As a result, I APPRECIATE it's versatility so much; how it works with so many different looks. It was like a part of me. I can't achieve this kind of bonding with a bag (LOL) if I see it as an accessory to be switched out every day, and I know that every new bag that I add to my collection means wearing my other bags less and less. For this reason, I want to keep my collection SUPER SMALL - just a handheld, a tote, a crossbody, a smooshy shoulder bag, a travel bag, and an evening clutch. Even this seems like a lot after using the Speedy for every purpose during the last year. Prior to that, I used the same diaper bag for 5 years (!!), and prior to THAT, I used the same red Marc Jacobs Stam for 5 years (and let me tell you, it shows it, eek). It's SO HARD when there are so many gorgeous bags that I would love to own, but . . . I know myself. I simply will not enjoy each bag enough to justify it's price unless it can become, at least for a good long while, MY BAG. My one and only. My signature. It's like this one pair of lace up, open-toed Fluevog booties that I have. My goodness, I wear them ALL the time. Every time I dress up, with very few exceptions. But I love it, because they are my signature shoes. It is so much easier for me to feel chic and effortless when I'm not always trying to reinvent the wheel by choosing a bag or shoes. This has been a recent revelation, but a big one for me. PLEASE NOTE: I currently having a major struggle with this, LOL - I just put away my much-loved Speedy for a Damier Azur Neverfull, and I'm still in the "getting to know you" stages with it (which I am enjoying). . . but I just came into some unexpected cash, and now I have my eye on a long-coveted Balenciaga City. I know I'll use it; I know I'll love it, but would buying it NOW take away from my enjoyment of my Neverfull? Is there any point in buying it NOW and letting it sit in my closet until I've used the Neverfull enough? Is this breaking my own beloved rule??? AH, PURSE ADDICTION. WAH.
4) Purse-obsessing can be a fun outlet, and in many ways it has helped me refine my style and appreciate the luxury I'm fortunate to have in my life. It also can distract me from family, reading, saving space for higher-minded things in my brain, financial responsibility, and being in the present moment. So it's kind of a dangerous line to flirt with.
5) What I don't know won't cost me. That is, there are certain designers that I'm not really familiar with, and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible. I have no problem sailing RIGHT BY those shelves at the stores, and they don't even register for me when I see them out in public. They may as well not exist. I only have enough mental space to obsess about the 6 or so bags already on my wish list; why add more for no reason??? So unless something jumps out and GRABS my attention (like Balenciaga did), I'm not going to wade into researching brands that haven't hooked me already up to this point in my life. They can remain invisible to me. LOL.
Great thread! I enjoyed reading it all the way from the beginning!
