just a thought but if you set a lower limit how do you regulate what people spend, what happen's if they over or under limit if nothing then there's not much point having a limit kwim? I'm not being ackward just bringing up possible issues
What do you think? Feedback re RAOK & New Rules
- Thread starter twiggers
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^^^^I wouldn't really have a way of regulating....but rather just hoping on people being honest.
And even just guidelines....almost like saying 'the expectation of this RAOK is spending a minimum of $30 on each gift'.....that way people know roughly what other people are going to spend, etc.
For the most part, the money issues hasn't been a HUGE thing during this RAOK....it's been other problems with posting photos/failure to send gifts, etc.
Maybe I just go with a guideline approach...i.e. 'In the past RAOKS people have generally spent $30-150 on each gift'?? Not telling anyone what they HAVE to spend!
Maybe I also bring back a thread with tips & ideas for gifts/packaging, etc.?
Mel: Your Secret Santa price range seems pretty fair. BTW my family does the exact same thing....and we set price limits every single year because of the diversity in income!
And even just guidelines....almost like saying 'the expectation of this RAOK is spending a minimum of $30 on each gift'.....that way people know roughly what other people are going to spend, etc.
For the most part, the money issues hasn't been a HUGE thing during this RAOK....it's been other problems with posting photos/failure to send gifts, etc.
Maybe I just go with a guideline approach...i.e. 'In the past RAOKS people have generally spent $30-150 on each gift'?? Not telling anyone what they HAVE to spend!
Maybe I also bring back a thread with tips & ideas for gifts/packaging, etc.?
Mel: Your Secret Santa price range seems pretty fair. BTW my family does the exact same thing....and we set price limits every single year because of the diversity in income!
just another idea expanding lami's santa gift should start with same letter as the tpf name for buddy or should be related to user name that could be fun.....or am I just being a pain now lol!
I agree and disagree....hmmm how to put this....true RAOK, is exactly how you described.....but this isn't exactly an RAOK...it is an exchange....so there are bound to be hard feelings when one puts, not only money, but serious thought and contemplation into the gifts they are send, and gets little in return...
I actually like this idea... alot! I know realistically it might be a pain in the rear....but having helped bail out the first one, and participated in another exchange on the board, I was dimayed to see the lack of thought going into some gifts...for 1 gift a friend recieve a tote bag from the dollar bin at target....that's it....that is obviously the extreme, but unforetunatly there were many examples like that....so of course the person recieving the unthoughtful gift is put in the horrible position of feeling greedy for expecting more, and hurt by the lack of caring put into the gift....anything but a brightening moment, kwim?
The problem with that is setting people up to feel greedy, which is not really what it is about....
I'm totally game for this!
In regards to the price, I wouldn't set a maximum, but a suggested price range like $30-50. So people should buy gifts in that range but if they wanted to go higher, that's their choice.
There is a HUGE difference in income here. Some people max out at $30 on gifts, some will spend hundreds on their friends. I say it's better to stick to the low side (hey, it'll help everyone learn to get the most bang for their buck anyways!) than the higher because the lower is less restrictive.
In regards to the price, I wouldn't set a maximum, but a suggested price range like $30-50. So people should buy gifts in that range but if they wanted to go higher, that's their choice.
There is a HUGE difference in income here. Some people max out at $30 on gifts, some will spend hundreds on their friends. I say it's better to stick to the low side (hey, it'll help everyone learn to get the most bang for their buck anyways!) than the higher because the lower is less restrictive.
OK...sorry for so many posts....just finished through reading this whole thread and I have a lot of jumbled thoughts so bear with me....
First, I think everyone knows I love RAOK (that's why I started the RAOK/Sunshine committee
)....and it really isn't about the money....it is about the thought. I do love giving for the sake of giving and brightening people's days (and I know most of us feel that way).
I have been on the recieving end of some amazing gifts and some small tinkerbelle trinkets I have loved....the point is the person put a lot of thought into the gifts, that's what feels good. I can absolutley open a 1.50 note pad, with a note from someone and have it melt my heart and raise my spirits. On the other hand, I think it is painfully obvious when someone at the end of a deadline throws a box of tea in a mailing box, with no packaging, a slap card and sends it off....it's not the tea, that's the problem, it's the lack of thought and effort, kwim? Am I making any sense? And it hurts when I see others recieving such things...the finally straw for me was the $1 tote, I saw a friend recieve....that's why I sat the last round out....
So Twiggers, I really feel for you....running an exchange is much harder than a true RAOK...with a true RAOK, you know where you stand...you are sending for the joy of sending and not expecting anything in return. With an exchange there does need to be some equality of effort for a happy exchange, JMHO...but as others have said, rightly so, effort doesn't always equal money...but it is a start, a show of commitment at least, kwim?
I really like DH's idea....pairing like minded people together seems like a good solution....
or at the very least a minimum, to show commitment...I have to admit I like to splurge sometimes, so I personally don't like limits, but can see how that might be helpful.
Thanks for 'listening' to my ramble.
First, I think everyone knows I love RAOK (that's why I started the RAOK/Sunshine committee
)....and it really isn't about the money....it is about the thought. I do love giving for the sake of giving and brightening people's days (and I know most of us feel that way).I have been on the recieving end of some amazing gifts and some small tinkerbelle trinkets I have loved....the point is the person put a lot of thought into the gifts, that's what feels good. I can absolutley open a 1.50 note pad, with a note from someone and have it melt my heart and raise my spirits. On the other hand, I think it is painfully obvious when someone at the end of a deadline throws a box of tea in a mailing box, with no packaging, a slap card and sends it off....it's not the tea, that's the problem, it's the lack of thought and effort, kwim? Am I making any sense? And it hurts when I see others recieving such things...the finally straw for me was the $1 tote, I saw a friend recieve....that's why I sat the last round out....
So Twiggers, I really feel for you....running an exchange is much harder than a true RAOK...with a true RAOK, you know where you stand...you are sending for the joy of sending and not expecting anything in return. With an exchange there does need to be some equality of effort for a happy exchange, JMHO...but as others have said, rightly so, effort doesn't always equal money...but it is a start, a show of commitment at least, kwim?
I really like DH's idea....pairing like minded people together seems like a good solution....
or at the very least a minimum, to show commitment...I have to admit I like to splurge sometimes, so I personally don't like limits, but can see how that might be helpful.
Thanks for 'listening' to my ramble.
OK...sorry for so many posts....just finished through reading this whole thread and I have a lot of jumbled thoughts so bear with me....
First, I think everyone knows I love RAOK (that's why I started the RAOK/Sunshine committee
I have been on the recieving end of some amazing gifts and some small tinkerbelle trinkets I have loved....the point is the person put a lot of thought into the gifts, that's what feels good. I can absolutley open a 1.50 note pad, with a note from someone and have it melt my heart and raise my spirits. On the other hand, I think it is painfully obvious when someone at the end of a deadline throws a box of tea in a mailing box, with no packaging, a slap card and sends it off....it's not the tea, that's the problem, it's the lack of thought and effort, kwim? Am I making any sense? And it hurts when I see others recieving such things...the finally straw for me was the $1 tote, I saw a friend recieve....that's why I sat the last round out....
So Twiggers, I really feel for you....running an exchange is much harder than a true RAOK...with a true RAOK, you know where you stand...you are sending for the joy of sending and not expecting anything in return. With an exchange there does need to be some equality of effort for a happy exchange, JMHO...but as others have said, rightly so, effort doesn't always equal money...but it is a start, a show of commitment at least, kwim?
I really like DH's idea....pairing like minded people together seems like a good solution....
or at the very least a minimum, to show commitment...I have to admit I like to splurge sometimes, so I personally don't like limits, but can see how that might be helpful.
Thanks for 'listening' to my ramble.
Tink I really understand your points and think a minimum amount, although a crude instrument, is perhaps the best idea.
To me pairing people who can spend higher amounts together kind of defeats the object and potentially create a divide.
I would also hate for people to be catagorised in this way and then feel obligated to spend an amount regardless of what may have happened in their personal life.( as I said before job loss can come at any time)
I am a giver by nature and implementing this rule would spoil it for me.
Naomi, I bet you wish you'd never asked, haha
I'm pretty ticked that this year's letter is "X". The only thing I can think of is to buy a Xylophone, lol. I start my Christmas shopping in the summer :shame:
Regarding the religious thing, maybe you could put in the App something about "Which (if any) holiday do you celebrate?". Some people don't celebrate any type of holiday and say "Happy Winter Solstice" or something like that. IDK, these things always get complicated. Rather than having it be Secret Santa, we could just call it Holiday RAOK?? No idea! I'm wiped from the pool, so I'm not thinking clearly right now
Mary: No..not too many posts at all...I truly appreciate your input!!! As you can tell...I have been struggling with this as well.....it's hard to please everyone! And I too, feel that a maximum can stifle...as there are times I KNOW I spend more one month than the next and would have definetly gone over a limit!
Loopylorns does create a valid point about potentially dividing people....but unlike the Hermes forum (as an example - not meaning to generalize-..where the age range is more limited I think - i.e. not many teenagers over there as well as the income range) we are a VERY VERY diverse group...and it is hard to please everyone! We have age range from 12 - 60s, men & women, people in middle school - college, people who are waitresses to people who own their own businesses....so diverse. And possibly creating subgroups within will be able to still have this diversity present...but not have hurt feelings.
I can say that I remember the first RAOK...the #1 question was 'what is the price limit' and people fearful of signing up because they didn't want to be embarrassed, etc.
Another thing I thought of, in response to Mary's comment about a friend receiving a tote bag, is that I need to be stricter next time. Even this RAOK, people's feelings have gotten hurt because they received IMHO a really crappy gift. I then had Angels send makeup gifts. However, what I did not do, was kick that person out...and honestly...I've got to be stricter in that!
Perhaps setting the deadline for mailing out gifts, requiring proof of mailing, etc. will allow me to weed out the bad ones early and activate Angels earlier, etc.
Sorry for my ramblings LOL
Oh and about the religion thing...yea we could call it holiday RAOK (or Holiday Exchange)....and I will definetly ask everyone what they celebrate!
Loopylorns does create a valid point about potentially dividing people....but unlike the Hermes forum (as an example - not meaning to generalize-..where the age range is more limited I think - i.e. not many teenagers over there as well as the income range) we are a VERY VERY diverse group...and it is hard to please everyone! We have age range from 12 - 60s, men & women, people in middle school - college, people who are waitresses to people who own their own businesses....so diverse. And possibly creating subgroups within will be able to still have this diversity present...but not have hurt feelings.
I can say that I remember the first RAOK...the #1 question was 'what is the price limit' and people fearful of signing up because they didn't want to be embarrassed, etc.
Another thing I thought of, in response to Mary's comment about a friend receiving a tote bag, is that I need to be stricter next time. Even this RAOK, people's feelings have gotten hurt because they received IMHO a really crappy gift. I then had Angels send makeup gifts. However, what I did not do, was kick that person out...and honestly...I've got to be stricter in that!
Perhaps setting the deadline for mailing out gifts, requiring proof of mailing, etc. will allow me to weed out the bad ones early and activate Angels earlier, etc.
Sorry for my ramblings LOL
Oh and about the religion thing...yea we could call it holiday RAOK (or Holiday Exchange)....and I will definetly ask everyone what they celebrate!
these rules are great! im going to be very busy during the year, but i will do a secret santa!!!
twigs - i think the rules are great! I'm quite thankful that # of posts isn't one of the criteria b/c as a new tPF member, that'd mean i couldn't participate!
i agree with the comment that we should say something like $30-50 is a minimum. If someone chooses to spend $100 or something, b/c they found the perfect gift, and they're aware they may receive a $30 gift in return - all the more power to them!
sidenote: Twigs, how do you find the time to do this all??? It's hard enough for me to "keep up" on reading the many forum posts!
i agree with the comment that we should say something like $30-50 is a minimum. If someone chooses to spend $100 or something, b/c they found the perfect gift, and they're aware they may receive a $30 gift in return - all the more power to them!
sidenote: Twigs, how do you find the time to do this all??? It's hard enough for me to "keep up" on reading the many forum posts!