I definitely helped dh with it by selling a lot of outdated gold jewelry that I was no longer wearing and had no sentimental value to me. After 18 years of marriage I don't even think of how e-ring was paid for. And I also decided not to upgrade. I'd rather purchase a Tiffany legacy aquamarine ring. I personally think that diamond e-rings are a bigger deal when you're just engaged and newly married. At least for me now (age 45), our children, health and happiness mean more than breaking our backs to wear a big stone on my finger.
What do you think about paying for your own E Ring??
- Thread starter VuittonsLover
- Start date
TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others
A. for me and I would get an upgrade on my anniversary (any anniversary that he's ready. You're going to be together forever!)
I'm an old fashioned too. And as mentioned above, there's a pride element in the e-ring. My bf wouldn't let me share what he couldn't afford.
I'm an old fashioned too. And as mentioned above, there's a pride element in the e-ring. My bf wouldn't let me share what he couldn't afford.
I'll settle for whatever he can afford. It's just a ring. You can always upgrade later or get another one, trust me you will and by that time, he'll probably afford it! It's men's pride and like hokaplan said, it's the health, happiness, love and trust that matters most.
oh, i also forgot to add that even though this isn't an e-ring, per se, i recently became obsessed with going around to different pawn shops looking for old, estate wedding bands. you cannot believe the deals that i have found. we're talking $200 or less and i paid for them on my own and wear them with my e-ring everyday.
you see, i lost my original wedding set a year and a half after we were married, so maybe if i had my original set, i'd feel differently, i don't know, but like hokaplan stated, after being married for 15 years (and i'm 44 with a 10 year old daughter), in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. i just like collecting them!!!
get the one that YOU want now.
you see, i lost my original wedding set a year and a half after we were married, so maybe if i had my original set, i'd feel differently, i don't know, but like hokaplan stated, after being married for 15 years (and i'm 44 with a 10 year old daughter), in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. i just like collecting them!!!
get the one that YOU want now.
of course it depends on the couple and the situation, but I think that going for what he can afford now and then upgrading later is best. Buying something together can get dicey legally if anything goes wrong - especially something like an engagement ring (with ridiculously, if a couple ends their engagement, the man is legally able to reclaim the ring).
My fiance bought me what he could afford and just now got me the ring of my dreams (so exciting!!). Waiting for it for five years may sound like a long time, but it wasn't at all - it's totally worth it!
My fiance bought me what he could afford and just now got me the ring of my dreams (so exciting!!). Waiting for it for five years may sound like a long time, but it wasn't at all - it's totally worth it!
You should check out auction houses for a nice estate engagement ring. You can get really good prices for a nice big rock. All you have to do is get the ring polished and resized, if you like the setting and it's not your ring size. If not, you can get the stone reset.
This is one way of getting a way bigger rock without the retail price tag...as long as you don't mind that it's estate jewlery. Me and my fiance were auction hunting for my engagement ring. I wanted as big a ring as possible...and retail is such a rip off. My ring is set in a harry winston setting... size was perfect. All he had to do was get it polished. (it's set in platinum.) It looked brand new. I've since got it appraised and it's worth several times more than what we paid for it. Appraiser said the ring is probably 20-40 years old... I like that it has a story...kind of romantic and vintage if you ask me... This might be a good compromise...that way he can pay for it, and you can get the bang for your buck....
This is one way of getting a way bigger rock without the retail price tag...as long as you don't mind that it's estate jewlery. Me and my fiance were auction hunting for my engagement ring. I wanted as big a ring as possible...and retail is such a rip off. My ring is set in a harry winston setting... size was perfect. All he had to do was get it polished. (it's set in platinum.) It looked brand new. I've since got it appraised and it's worth several times more than what we paid for it. Appraiser said the ring is probably 20-40 years old... I like that it has a story...kind of romantic and vintage if you ask me... This might be a good compromise...that way he can pay for it, and you can get the bang for your buck....
With us, I asked what dh had in mind for a budget and then I went shopping for the ring. I let him chose the design but I pick the stone. My mom dealt in precious stones so I was able to get one at whole sale price (well maybe less as we suspected that my mom gave us further discount).
Not helpful, but neither. 
It may sound horribly snobbish but I'm not a fan of diamond 'chips', therefore would never wear one, and I would prefer not to buy my own ring. I buy, and have bought, almost everything myself because I'm a very independent woman. However, I draw the line at my own engagement ring.
I recall shopping with a few of my friends and mother, a few years back, and we saw this woman's engagement ring. It was rather beautiful and my one friend admired it greatly. While speaking to this woman, my friend found out that she had paid for it herself. Well, for the rest of the afternoon that woman's purchase was fodder for their jokes. What can I say, I guess in my circle of family and friends that's a huge no no.
It may sound horribly snobbish but I'm not a fan of diamond 'chips', therefore would never wear one, and I would prefer not to buy my own ring. I buy, and have bought, almost everything myself because I'm a very independent woman. However, I draw the line at my own engagement ring.I recall shopping with a few of my friends and mother, a few years back, and we saw this woman's engagement ring. It was rather beautiful and my one friend admired it greatly. While speaking to this woman, my friend found out that she had paid for it herself. Well, for the rest of the afternoon that woman's purchase was fodder for their jokes. What can I say, I guess in my circle of family and friends that's a huge no no.
I vote B. My situation was a bit different though. I didn't want an engagement ring because I wasn't planning to wear it after the wedding. So I ended up wearing my mother's engagement ring til the wedding and now only wear the wedding band. He is supposed to upgrade my wedding band to a HOF band later on though. That was our deal 
I think it is sad to make jokes about a woman who paid for her own e-ring. You don't know the situation or circumstances. Her husband might be the most incredible and wonderful person. There are many guys out there that can afford large rocks and they cheat on their wives and are not involved with their own children. My dh and I have numerous friends where the husband is currently unemployed due to the terrible economy. But these guys are great, kind, loving and caring people who give to their wives and children in other ways rather than material objects.
Yup. I've done option b.
Our engagement didn't last, though. The thought that if I wanted something I had to pay for it in a 2 income situation wore on me.
My current fiance says there's a pride thing involved with being able to get the woman of his dreams the ring of her dreams - and so he wanted to pay for the e-ring. (He also has a limited income).
My opinion: if there must be a ring, let him get what he can afford... upgrade to what you want later.. You'll be together forever anyway right?! There's plenty of time
I agree with this 100%!!!!!!!!!
I would have normally said B. And I thought that I would do B when the time came. But hubby surprised me and got me something even bigger than I thought he would ever get. Anyway so I ended up with A.
Now that I am married and have been for about 9 months (I know!! newlywed!!!) I would say go for A. Because even if you want ONE ring for the rest of your life, truth is, u will always want whatever nice thing you see in the future, and this won't change.
So go with A, have the man please you with whatever he CAN get you. Don't hurt his ego. I know your friends would be SO jealous of you if they saw a HUGE ROCK on ur finger but ur fiance wouldn't be too proud because he would KNOW he didn't afford it. You had to help pay for it.
I don't know, call me a chauvinist, but I think it's best when u keep a man's ego intact. Saves u a lot of problems
Plus u can always buy yourself a RHR *right hand ring* and wear it proudly on your right hand. Who knows, u can even pretend it's a wedding gift to yourself.
Now that I am married and have been for about 9 months (I know!! newlywed!!!) I would say go for A. Because even if you want ONE ring for the rest of your life, truth is, u will always want whatever nice thing you see in the future, and this won't change.
So go with A, have the man please you with whatever he CAN get you. Don't hurt his ego. I know your friends would be SO jealous of you if they saw a HUGE ROCK on ur finger but ur fiance wouldn't be too proud because he would KNOW he didn't afford it. You had to help pay for it.
I don't know, call me a chauvinist, but I think it's best when u keep a man's ego intact. Saves u a lot of problems
Plus u can always buy yourself a RHR *right hand ring* and wear it proudly on your right hand. Who knows, u can even pretend it's a wedding gift to yourself.