UPDATE!! The ring is here! Stress be gone! (pics pg 18)
- Thread starter ame
- Start date
TPF may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, and others
Ame, I am so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how upset you must be. *HUG*
Please don't take what I'm about to say as kicking you when you're down. You have every right to want what you want and expect wonderful results for what you pay for! No one should ever think differently.
Perhaps you need to give up the quest for perfection. I completely agree with you that customer service, workmanship, and most other things related to business and service have gone completely down the tubes anymore (which irritates me more than words can express), so there will always be something imperfect, I think that's just life. Maybe you're having all of these problems because perfection just can't be attained, ever, and all of your attemps to get it are just stressing you out even more.
Maybe it isn't necessarily bad luck in the jewelry world, but just expecting results that most people don't, which is why it seems like you are so often disappointed when other people aren't.
You are totally within your rights to want what you want, especially when we're talking about these kind of insane price points, please don't get me wrong. I just wonder if maybe you aren't doing yourself more harm than good through all of this.
Please don't take what I'm about to say as kicking you when you're down. You have every right to want what you want and expect wonderful results for what you pay for! No one should ever think differently.
Perhaps you need to give up the quest for perfection. I completely agree with you that customer service, workmanship, and most other things related to business and service have gone completely down the tubes anymore (which irritates me more than words can express), so there will always be something imperfect, I think that's just life. Maybe you're having all of these problems because perfection just can't be attained, ever, and all of your attemps to get it are just stressing you out even more.
Maybe it isn't necessarily bad luck in the jewelry world, but just expecting results that most people don't, which is why it seems like you are so often disappointed when other people aren't.
You are totally within your rights to want what you want, especially when we're talking about these kind of insane price points, please don't get me wrong. I just wonder if maybe you aren't doing yourself more harm than good through all of this.
I know my perfectionist thing is out of sorts with most people. I don't know why I have such an issue. But NONE of my settings have been even acceptable to the average person. Heads crooked, ring not round, REALLY obvious stuff. REALLY OBVIOUS. If my husband can see it, it's a bad sign.
I just hold people and businesses to a very high standard, a standard I hold my own work to. And its' very hard for me to reduce that standard for other people because I don't for myself. I don't believe in "just accepting something" because someone is lazy or underskilled enough to fix it. But at this price point, that's extra unacceptable. I dunno. I know it's a serious personality flaw.
I just hold people and businesses to a very high standard, a standard I hold my own work to. And its' very hard for me to reduce that standard for other people because I don't for myself. I don't believe in "just accepting something" because someone is lazy or underskilled enough to fix it. But at this price point, that's extra unacceptable. I dunno. I know it's a serious personality flaw.
No, it definitely is NOT a personality flaw. You are absolutely entitled to have certain expectations when you're spending money and if you are clear with people about what you want and they say they can do it, you have every right to expect that they're going to.
I'm speaking more out of concern for you, not excusing laziness or sloppiness (sloppyness? *LOL* However you spell it) on the part of the "artisans" making your ring.
I can just "feel" your frustration and distress in your posts about this and I've read about how many problems you've had with this issue and it's so not good for you. I'm just..is it weird to say I'm worried about you when I don't even know you? I just feel so bad for you because of it all.
I completely understand things being bad to a ridiculous degree. When my fiance and I were doing my engagement ring, my jeweler had me pick a setting out of a book. In the book the picture of the ring VERY CLEARLY showed no milgraining on the outside edge of the table. I mean it was smooth as glass. I asked the jeweler if it would be possible to add milgraining, if I decided I wanted it and she said she could. I told her not to though, because I wanted to see the ring without it first, before I made up my mind. Well, when the ring was finally ready for us to look at, I slid the ring out of the envelope in her store and almost broke down in tears. There was milgraining around the edges of the table on the ring and the straight lines I'd admired about it were completely gone because of it. The octagonal shape I'd wanted (because my center stone is an asscher), was totally obscured and looked sort of like a not squared, not rounded blob.
The jeweler could tell I was upset when I didn't say anything, she must have been able to read it on my face, and when I told her I'd wanted the milgraining added only with my approval, she said it had arrived from the makers that way. Um..okay..the pictures of my setting both in their catalogue and on their website very clearly show no milgraining anywhere, that's why we had that whole discussion about whether or not she could add it later. She disagreed with me and said it was always going to come with the milgraining. I had to make myself stop arguing with her over it because I knew she was never going to admit she was wrong.
We ended up having her bench jeweler completely remove the head and set it into another one, that had new edges without milgraining. It's better now, but it's still a little "off" and looks slightly crooked. It has a couple other small issues too, but I had to decide to just let it go because if I would have kept returning it to them to fix things, I think it probably would have only gotten worse.
Last edited:
I haven't been to the same jeweler for reworks more than one time. Usually if they either can't fix it right once or can't get it close to right the first time, I move on. But I get the whole "it's not that bad, just wear it happily". And my response to that is usually along the lines of "I hope you get run over in traffic and die a slow painful death in the street". I know that's harsh, but it's really very patronizing and frustrating. It's like when I was still in my agency job and people would tell me to "be creative", it made me want to stab someone with a pen.
I am beyond frustrated, really at the end. I never want to do this again. We talked about a big honker later in life, but if every damn thing goes like this I never want to change this ring again.
I have excellent vision, I have very excellent detail vision as well, and I did graphics for 15 years in an agency, PLUS I did hair color while still in college simultaneously to PAY for college, and I still do wedding work on the side of my new job. I can see sh*t that's screwed up from a good distance and I can't let it go. It eats at me. I can't stand it.
I am beyond frustrated, really at the end. I never want to do this again. We talked about a big honker later in life, but if every damn thing goes like this I never want to change this ring again.
I have excellent vision, I have very excellent detail vision as well, and I did graphics for 15 years in an agency, PLUS I did hair color while still in college simultaneously to PAY for college, and I still do wedding work on the side of my new job. I can see sh*t that's screwed up from a good distance and I can't let it go. It eats at me. I can't stand it.
I don't think it's a matter of demanding/wanting perfection but rather KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT.
And to the average people out there who "settle" for the sake of keeping the peace, that's completely THEIR choice.
But it's not mine. And from what I'm able to gather here....it's not your choice either.
I typed a whole post but I think I've stuck my foot in my mouth enough for one thread and there's just no good way of trying to explain where I was coming from, so I won't try. *LOL*
Please let me apologize, I wasn't trying to insult you, patronize you, or make you settle for anything you are unhapy with. I was trying to provide an alternate way to look at things and evidently I did it very poorly if my post came across as insulting and not just concerned for a fellow tpfer.
I am very sorry for that and for me adding to your distress and unhappiness right now. Truly. I hope for the best for your ring, of course.
Last edited:
Thank God! *LOL* I really had the best intentions with my post and then saw it going horribly awry. It's happened to me before.
Yeah, I would totally tell a jeweler to suck it if they tried to tell me to accept something inferior, that I wasn't happy with. It's one thing to decide on your own "You know, I guess I'll just accept it as it is", but for the person you're paying to TELL you that? Oh hell no. It would be on then.
Yea my husband has carried me out of many a jewelry store while I screamed obscenities.
I am going to try to work out hard tonight to distract myself. We'll see how that goes. lol
I am glad I didn't go get a mani like I planned to. Ill wait til I have the ring.
I am going to try to work out hard tonight to distract myself. We'll see how that goes. lol
I am glad I didn't go get a mani like I planned to. Ill wait til I have the ring.
Sounds like it! But the jeweler knows what I want done if it's not here tomorrow. I want my diamond overnighted. And we're done with Vatche.
We went with the brand because they had a good reputation, one we BOTH well checked out. They lied repeatedly. And I am over it. They've had an additional week. I am done. I am pissed. I don't trust them. They've just damaged their own reputation with me. I also wonder if this is why that Chris dude left Vatche to work for another jeweler. Probably sick of this.
And if this thing comes in and it's not in Plat the world will end.
At this point I almost don't care. I just want my stone back. I don't trust it to be right. Or DONE for that matter.
We went with the brand because they had a good reputation, one we BOTH well checked out. They lied repeatedly. And I am over it. They've had an additional week. I am done. I am pissed. I don't trust them. They've just damaged their own reputation with me. I also wonder if this is why that Chris dude left Vatche to work for another jeweler. Probably sick of this.
And if this thing comes in and it's not in Plat the world will end.
At this point I almost don't care. I just want my stone back. I don't trust it to be right. Or DONE for that matter.
For reals.
I am just...exhausted. With this reset I have now spent 10 thousand dollars on settings and setting repairs in just under 6 years. And some of those I never got more than A wear out of.
I wanted no more ring drama when I bought this new ring last year. And I know I should've just sent the setting to GOG for resizing but lesson is learned and over. So..yea. Now I wait. And wait. And wait.
I leave for your neck o the woods on Monday for a week. So...I want this on my hand in time, or for that matter A ring on my hand.
I am just...exhausted. With this reset I have now spent 10 thousand dollars on settings and setting repairs in just under 6 years. And some of those I never got more than A wear out of.
I wanted no more ring drama when I bought this new ring last year. And I know I should've just sent the setting to GOG for resizing but lesson is learned and over. So..yea. Now I wait. And wait. And wait.
I leave for your neck o the woods on Monday for a week. So...I want this on my hand in time, or for that matter A ring on my hand.