Suicide is a Selfish Act [?]

[xiaoxiao]

Hello everyone.....

My last post was about a young girl Pratiyusha who committed suicide this month. I think about it a lot and one question came to my mind is that why people commit suicide. Don't you think it is a selfish act. Person don't think about other or the people behind them and to get rid of his problem they commit suicide.

What are your view.....???

No. Not at all. I don't think they are selfish.

I don't know what the statistics is, but I suspect depression might have something to do with it.

I don't know if you personally have known or close to with someone who is clinically depressed. I do. And I know that person has contemplated suicide. On the contrary to being selfish, that person felt his or hers presence would not help anyone, so it's better if that person went away and disappeared and not to drag anyone down. So instead of getting rid of the problem, they seem themselves as the problem and want to get rid of themselves. I hope my explanation would help explaining their mentality.

If you are serious about knowing how people with suicide tendency think, I would highly encourage you to find out more. I find the Internet a wonderful resources, although some time not everything there is accurate, at least it's a good start.

And more importantly, I hope instead of asking "don't you think it is a selfish act", and hence casting judgement, someday your question would be "how do you think I should help someone with suicidal thoughts". In my humble opinion it is lot more helpful, and less judgement.

 

[xiaoxiao]

Since this isn't something that seems to have happened to the OP personally as she admitted she is only referencing the thread she posted about a famous starlet who allegedly killed herself who was also pregnant. That made it clear to me she is not suffering from a loss of someone she knew. She went on to make a statement that she felt this is a selfish thing for someone to do and a bad way for someone to solve their problems. Period. That doesn't come across to me someone who is looking for sympathy but rather for someone who is looking for others to agree with her that it is just a selfish act and lets all demonize people who have committed suicide.

Believe me, if the OP came here as another poster did who had lost his SO to suicide she would have received as much sympathy and comfort as he did.

It just sounded very gossipy to me.

P.S. you are right though JetSet, blanket statements made out of ignorance do trigger my anger. So unless the motive of this thread comes from a place of compassion instead of judgement, I won't participate in it.

Well said.

I recommend closing this thread too. Not because it provokes emotions, I think most of us are grown adults and can handle a discussion with many view points.

I recommend closing this thread because can you imagine having someone with suicidal thoughts read this thread? OP's tone is to shame them, instead of helping them. What is the point of asking someone else if they think it's a selfish act or not? It's like asking public opinion if a normal person is fat or not.

If body shaming is frown upon, I cannot imagine shaming suicidal people's possible thoughts might be.

Please, mods, close this thread for good. [emoji120]

 

[JetSetGo!]

Since this isn't something that seems to have happened to the OP personally as she admitted she is only referencing the thread she posted about a famous starlet who allegedly killed herself who was also pregnant. That made it clear to me she is not suffering from a loss of someone she knew. She went on to make a statement that she felt this is a selfish thing for someone to do and a bad way for someone to solve their problems. Period. That doesn't come across to me someone who is looking for sympathy but rather for someone who is looking for others to agree with her that it is just a selfish act and lets all demonize people who have committed suicide.

Believe me, if the OP came here as another poster did who had lost his SO to suicide she would have received as much sympathy and comfort as he did.

It just sounded very gossipy to me.

P.S. you are right though JetSet, blanket statements made out of ignorance do trigger my anger. So unless the motive of this thread comes from a place of compassion instead of judgement, I won't participate in it.

Fair enough. I totally get that.

I see the OP's first instinct comes off as judgmental, and after you clarified that this was not someone she knew, I imagine the OP has likely not had the first-hand experience some of us have. Or maybe she has and she's working that out through a more public figure. Who knows.

Perhaps we can enlighten her using the compassion we have. There are people of all different cultures, ages and backgrounds on tPF. Expecting everyone to be instantly as in tune or savvy is a pitfall and will only lead to frustration.

Of course, it's no one's "job" here to bring others up to speed, but if you decide to step back from that instinctual judgment, you might just help someone who needs it (now or in the future) more than you know. tPF can be a much kinder place than "out there" if we make it that way.

I'm not telling anyone how to be or that they need to participate in this thread. But it's just another way to look at it.

 

[JetSetGo!]

No. Not at all. I don't think they are selfish.

I don't know what the statistics is, but I suspect depression might have something to do with it.

I don't know if you personally have known or close to with someone who is clinically depressed. I do. And I know that person has contemplated suicide. On the contrary to being selfish, that person felt his or hers presence would not help anyone, so it's better if that person went away and disappeared and not to drag anyone down. So instead of getting rid of the problem, they seem themselves as the problem and want to get rid of themselves. I hope my explanation would help explaining their mentality.

If you are serious about knowing how people with suicide tendency think, I would highly encourage you to find out more. I find the Internet a wonderful resources, although some time not everything there is accurate, at least it's a good start.

And more importantly, I hope instead of asking "don't you think it is a selfish act", and hence casting judgement, someday your question would be "how do you think I should help someone with suicidal thoughts". In my humble opinion it is lot more helpful, and less judgement.

I totally agree!

 

[inherforties]

If anyone is reading this thread who is thinking of suicide or suffering from depression, you are not selfish and anyone who thinks that way is uneducated, judgmental, and ignorant.

You are not alone. There are resources and people who will listen. Please seek them out. Don't be ashamed and never feel that you are weak for asking for help.

The pain can go away with help, even if it feels like it never will.

Don't be afraid of mental healthcare. If you break your arm, you don't expect yourself to just 'get over it' and 'brave through it' and it'll heal itself. The OP of this thread is just spreading a dangerous, unhealthy stigma.

 

[femaleadda]

I agree a million percent.

agreed.. its shouldnt be debated upon

 

[Charles]

Hello everyone.....
My last post was about a young girl Pratiyusha who committed suicide this month. I think about it a lot and one question came to my mind is that why people commit suicide. Don't you think it is a selfish act. Person don't think about other or the people behind them and to get rid of his problem they commit suicide.
What are your view.....???



[Moderator added "?" to title to reflect question asked by OP in the thread]

Actually, I think it's selfish for someone to imply suicide is selfish. Usually it's from someone who's never dealt with mental illness or bullying or any type of major adversity, so they have no clue what the sufferer is going through. To imply that a sufferer should be thinking about this person prior to committing such an act is selfish, egotistical, and lacks empathy.

 

[Staci_W]

Actually, I think it's selfish for someone to imply suicide is selfish. Usually it's from someone who's never dealt with mental illness or bullying or any type of major adversity, so they have no clue what the sufferer is going through. To imply that a sufferer should be thinking about this person prior to committing such an act is selfish, egotistical, and lacks empathy.

This.


What a crappy thread.

 

[clevercat]

This.





What a crappy thread.

Yep. I wish it was possible to put a whole thread on ignore, I don't even want to see the title when I come here.

 

[bernz84]

I don't normally participate in the General Discussion, but seeing this and reading the OP's post made me very angry.

OP, consider yourself very lucky to never feel suicidal depression or to not know anyone personally who's been clinically depressed.

 

[Minkas]

Hello everyone.....
My last post was about a young girl Pratiyusha who committed suicide this month. I think about it a lot and one question came to my mind is that why people commit suicide. Don't you think it is a selfish act. Person don't think about other or the people behind them and to get rid of his problem they commit suicide.
What are your view.....???



[Moderator added "?" to title to reflect question asked by OP in the thread]

Depression is a very serious, and unfortunately common mental health issue and has nothing to do with selfishness. It's really important that you educate yourself on the topic, as stigma surrounding mental health is one of the things that stops people at risk from seeking help.

 

[buffalogal]

When I was 16, I tried to kill myself. I was sad, lonely, frustrated, confused and angry ... But I never thought of myself as selfish. And I know my family and friends didn't either. I am so glad I was found in time and I have gone on to live a healthy, productive, amazing life, 20+ years later. There are very few people in my life who know this but threads like this make me realize maybe I should talk about it to help others.

My 21-year-old cousin recently killed himself after a major fight with his girlfriend of 3 years. I would have described him as thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive and responsible. Never selfish. I can only imagine he was in immense pain and made a snap decision that cannot be undone. I have witnessed the pain it caused his family, but no one blames him. We are all just immensely sad that he didn't ask for help or say something.

 

[Hurrem1001]

I know this is a hard subject for a lot of people. I know a lot of people want this thread closed. I disagree. Just because a subject is hard and hurtful to talk about, does not mean that subject should be avoided and not talked about.

Like many others, I've also lost loved ones to suicide. I know I found it incredibly upsetting to lose the family members and friends that I have to suicide. Like some others, I've tried to commit suicide myself. I know the the desperation, the pain, the depression that people go through when they feel suicidal. For anyone that feels like this, my heart goes out to them.

I know it's hard to lose a loved one, especially in an act where they deliberately take their lives.

However, unlike many others I do not find suicide nor euthanasia to be an act of selfishness. I can't explain my thoughts and feelings on this, I just know that this is how I feel.

I know this tends to go against the grain, and if you think me thoughtless, I understand. But I will not apologize for my opinions on this matter.

 

[Violet Bleu]

I know this is a hard subject for a lot of people. I know a lot of people want this thread closed. I disagree. Just because a subject is hard and hurtful to talk about, does not mean that subject should be avoided and not talked about.

Like many others, I've also lost loved ones to suicide. I know I found it incredibly upsetting to lose the family members and friends that I have to suicide. Like some others, I've tried to commit suicide myself. I know the the desperation, the pain, the depression that people go through when they feel suicidal. For anyone that feels like this, my heart goes out to them.

I know it's hard to lose a loved one, especially in an act where they deliberately take their lives.

However, unlike many others I do not find suicide nor euthanasia to be an act of selfishness. I can't explain my thoughts and feelings on this, I just know that this is how I feel.

I know this tends to go against the grain, and if you think me thoughtless, I understand. But I will not apologize for my opinions on this matter.

This! If the topic is sensitive for some, then do not visit and comment in this thread! I am recently noticing that it is becoming common (across the web) to condemn any topic of discussion that is controversial or painful to think about. How do people expect to learn anything if they avoid talking about anything that is uncomfortable? It is also rude for other people here to presume that the OP does not have any personal experience with suicide. You can disagree with her statement about selfishness, but not everyone will feel the same way. That's the point of a healthy discussion. [emoji4]

 

[remainsilly]

When I was 16, I tried to kill myself. I was sad, lonely, frustrated, confused and angry ... But I never thought of myself as selfish. And I know my family and friends didn't either. I am so glad I was found in time and I have gone on to live a healthy, productive, amazing life, 20+ years later. There are very few people in my life who know this but threads like this make me realize maybe I should talk about it to help others.

My 21-year-old cousin recently killed himself after a major fight with his girlfriend of 3 years. I would have described him as thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive and responsible. Never selfish. I can only imagine he was in immense pain and made a snap decision that cannot be undone. I have witnessed the pain it caused his family, but no one blames him. We are all just immensely sad that he didn't ask for help or say something.

Fantastic post♥