Struggling With Luxury: Time to Get Off the Merry-go-round?!

[Mumotons]

I have been following this thread and I am in so much agreement with so many posters. We have become such a materialistic world, phones are updated pretty much annually, TVs, electronics, fashion....... we are bombarded by messages on social media, TV, magazines etc to constantly upgrade, grab the next new thing which will be replaced within a few months anyway.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about we are encouraged to recycle paper, glass etc but for fashion, technology and so on we are encouraged to buy more. We’ve all read about faults deliberately built in to everyday items so we just bin and replace and no longer complain. Same with prices, for instance a petrol station chain over here got some bad press recently when a leaked email revealed they were planning to hike prices to above $2 so ‘customers will become used to paying it’ ! We are used to paying more for ‘quality ‘ we just hand over our money. So many design houses seem to have quality issues that I think it’s almost as if they are just laughing their heads off in the boardroom at how stupid we have become.
I have been mainly buying preloved for a long time because the quality at one point was superb, we got what we paid for but I think those days are long gone and now because something is made in France or wherever it doesn’t mean it’s without flaws.

 

[EveyB]

This is such an interesting, thought-provoking thread!
I agree with what was said already before. The thought that those brands see their customers as stupid golden geese is not very appealing. And the prices are becoming outrageous, in particular with regard to the decline in quality and the good that could be done with such money around the world. Of course those companies provide jobs for many people. Still, they could donate a small amount for every purchased bag or something similar. And personally, I ask myself how I can justify spending that kind of money on unnecessary items when there is so much suffering in the world. Of course I also donate, but still...
I am looking for alternatives to the big names, but I have yet to find a brand that respects the environment and the employees, and produces also good quality items that are pretty.

 

[vintagefinds]

I've noticed that the more expensive these items become the more people I see carrying them. This is especially true of the holy bag trinity of LV/Chanel/Hermes. That suggests to me that the main purpose of these brands has become wealth status signaling. It's no longer about quality or craftsmanship, as these have declined and many of these products are mass produced and made primarily or entirely in China.

We now see it as normal to "save up" for a bag. That was unthinkable 20 years ago. You saved up for a house, a car, your children's college, retirement, maybe furniture. You bought shoes and bags based on what was affordable for your clothing budget. But now teachers are socking away 10% of their salary to buy a Chanel and the industry encourages this, while hoping to get in two or ten more price increases before actually handing one of their precious branded bags to a teacher of all people. It's a schizophrenic system of luxury brand wanting us to want their products, but wanting to keep us from having access to them at the same time. Your description of being in an abusive relationship is pretty apt.

I think people think their luxury goods say more about them than they do. This was even sited in a recent discussion about the new Chanel price increases (side note: LOL) as a reason they would keep buying. They thought their Chanel told the world they were this amazing, superior person. But the truth is, give up luxury, and you'll see how ridiculous that is. You'll see how little your life changes and how no one thinks any differently of you.

Just because you've always done something, like buy luxury, does not mean you have to keep doing it. You have plenty of beautiful things you can keep using until they wear out. I think you'll also find the non-lux world has a lot to offer.

 

[Annie J]

I think we live in a very materialistic society. Marketing is directed to make one feel they have to have something or need it. Social media pushing products. Ads on every site on the internet. I have been on a journey to simply my life and have let go of many things that I feel no need to own anymore. I have 4 bags ready to go to consignment this week once I get quotes. I have no problem getting rid of them. At one point they served my needs but I just don’t want all this stuff in my life anymore.

We hope to move next year and I want to downsize and lead a more simple life. I have used and enjoyed many luxury items in my life but they can go to new homes. I have given away some great things to relatives who I know will enjoy using them. Special jewelry items saved for my daughter.

I know people who are very happy spending money on luxury items. Some feel they can’t be caught wearing the same dress twice at social events. While I can appreciate the beauty of a well made luxury item I have felt no great desire to go overboard in buying them. I have hit some great sales, bought some preloved vintage items and my best friend was able to purchase some designer purses for me with her 40% store discount for years. I doubt I would have paid full price for many of these items.

I have one relative who buys jewelry but never wears it. I could never understand the need to have to own it but can’t wear it to work and won’t wear it at home. So it sits in jewelry boxes unused. I have a few friends who won’t wear their engagement rings because they feel they are too flashy. Some have rules with clothing too. Their designer clothing cost so much money that they can only wear it for a special occasion or are afraid to use it because something might happen if they wear it. It reminds me of many purse threads here, the fear of actually wearing a new purse. The curse of a water stain or a purse showing a mark from use can cause a panic. So what buy it?

My LV backpack is 22 years old and still in excellent condition, way better than most I see for sale. Spending the money buying a quality piece can be a good investment if you use it. Break down the cost per wear for a item. I have one friend who lusts after a LV purse. She has made comments when I wear LV. While I can have a LV purse for 20 years and wear it often she can buy a dress for $500.00 and wear it once and then have it hang in her closet. So who in the long run is getting value for their money spent.

It is very easy to see the quality has really gone downhill for most designers who to me are just mass producing products to the mass market today. I think calling them luxury is in name only due to the expense. For the past three years I feel I have been on a journey to lead a minimalistic life. I have slowly been building a capsule wardrobe and it is so much easier to get dressed and feel good about what I am wearing. While I was never into the latest fads I realize that classic looks in good quality clothing work well for me. I have made mistakes in many choices in the past but have also learned as I aged. Maybe with age one can gain wisdom and want more out of life than what they thought was important in the past?

I do most of my shopping online if I find the need to shop. I have no desire to go to malls or stores. I feel no need for them. People,think I am crazy because I don’t go shopping. And I only buy when I think I need something. I have friends who shop weekly and always complain they have nothing to wear. I see so many impulse buys with them. My daughter is in college and she and her friends love the malls but she is slowly changing her choices to spend her money on a great vacation versus the latest fads.

As far as luxury is concerned it can vary person to person. While a designer name can be luxury to one person a weekend alone pampering yourself can be luxury to another. If we look at real estate bigger is better. People always want a bigger house. Square footage is the most important. One always needs a bigger house so they can have a place for all their stuff.

People live their lives and make choices for what they feel is right for them. What is good for one person doesn’t not mean it is right for another.

All good points! The pressure is constant. Let’s make sure we stay sane, and don’t bequeath a skewed perspective to our children.

I’m off, bye bye, ladies! Some people have been mildly troll-like over on another thread and I’m not up for that! So I’m deleting my account (if I can?).

It’s been really interesting listening and contributing here and I’ve enjoyed everyone’s perspectives and goodwill. I wish you all well. Don’t spend too much money [emoji6]

 

[EmilyM111]

We now see it as normal to "save up" for a bag. That was unthinkable 20 years ago. You saved up for a house, a car, your children's college, retirement, maybe furniture. You bought shoes and bags based on what was affordable for your clothing budget. But now teachers are socking away 10% of their salary to buy a Chanel and the industry encourages this, while hoping to get in two or ten more price increases before actually handing one of their precious branded bags to a teacher of all people. It's a schizophrenic system of luxury brand wanting us to want their products, but wanting to keep us from having access to them at the same time. Your description of being in an abusive relationship is pretty apt.

I think people think their luxury goods say more about them than they do. This was even sited in a recent discussion about the new Chanel price increases (side note: LOL) as a reason they would keep buying. They thought their Chanel told the world they were this amazing, superior person. But the truth is, give up luxury, and you'll see how ridiculous that is. You'll see how little your life changes and how no one thinks any differently of you.

Just because you've always done something, like buy luxury, does not mean you have to keep doing it. You have plenty of beautiful things you can keep using until they wear out. I think you'll also find the non-lux world has a lot to offer.

I’ve read a book pointing out to the fact that these days true wealth understood as for example nice house or top 5 uni tuition is not available for middle class (like a really nice house in the UK is probably £1m while avg salary £25k and people struggle to save even 10% for a deposit) so what’s left for these people is actually “stuff” including luxury hence the rise of these.
While I’m agreeing with almost all said in this topic, I’d be careful with “the teacher”. My friend is a former teacher who truly loves fashion- she buys preowned luxury items and is saving up for Chanel (already owning a few Chloe bags). While I see it as a bit unwise/too early investment (she probably should first put money in requalifying), I keep my shout and appreciate her passion which has nothing to do with pretending she’s got money.

 

[Emily1830]

I've noticed that the more expensive these items become the more people I see carrying them. This is especially true of the holy bag trinity of LV/Chanel/Hermes. That suggests to me that the main purpose of these brands has become wealth status signaling. It's no longer about quality or craftsmanship, as these have declined and many of these products are mass produced and made primarily or entirely in China.

We now see it as normal to "save up" for a bag. That was unthinkable 20 years ago. You saved up for a house, a car, your children's college, retirement, maybe furniture. You bought shoes and bags based on what was affordable for your clothing budget. But now teachers are socking away 10% of their salary to buy a Chanel and the industry encourages this, while hoping to get in two or ten more price increases before actually handing one of their precious branded bags to a teacher of all people. It's a schizophrenic system of luxury brand wanting us to want their products, but wanting to keep us from having access to them at the same time. Your description of being in an abusive relationship is pretty apt.

I think people think their luxury goods say more about them than they do. This was even sited in a recent discussion about the new Chanel price increases (side note: LOL) as a reason they would keep buying. They thought their Chanel told the world they were this amazing, superior person. But the truth is, give up luxury, and you'll see how ridiculous that is. You'll see how little your life changes and how no one thinks any differently of you.

Just because you've always done something, like buy luxury, does not mean you have to keep doing it. You have plenty of beautiful things you can keep using until they wear out. I think you'll also find the non-lux world has a lot to offer.

Why are you singling out teachers? While I understand what you’re getting at, assuming all teachers are poor is an assumption. In some parts of the country, teachers are making six figures. We can’t assume anything about people and their careers and where they get their money. Some have family money, are married to a rich spouse, make a decent amount from working and tutoring, etc.

 

[plasticwife]

I've only read through the first page but I jut wanted to say: the moment it no longer makes you happy, you should stop or cut back. And it doesn't sound like it's making you very happy right now so I would take a break.

 

[MamaSleepy]

One always needs a bigger house so they can have a place for all their stuff.

"That's the meaning of life - finding a place to store your stuff." Standup comedian George Carlin.

 

[MyAwesomeFinds]

Absolutely, and connected with this is the way ‘luxury’ is often used just to display wealth. Such an interesting subject. The people who had those strike plates, they may have wanted them because they were better-functioning, longer-lasting, aesthetically pleasing (a highly subjective matter into which so many factors feed, which can spark off a whole other conversation). But they may also have wanted them to make a statement about their wealth and social status, in a way which is pretty much outdated now, and where it is still practised, it is most often condemned (though of course we have entered the era of Kardashian-style ‘influencers’ and so on, so maybe it’s just moved into a different arena).

I can identify with the former reason (quality, function and aesthetic) but the latter leaves me cold, as I’m sure it does all of us here. The JC Penney coat would have been luxurious because it gave warmth and possibly quality that was hard to afford for BigPurseSue’s grandparents. That’s real luxury.

Another issue in ‘luxury’ is rarity (those strike plates were genuinely rare at that time, probably because the means of manufacture was new, expensive to set up, and not widespread) and while rarity can add to value if the object in question is of great quality, I find myself really bridling at artificially created rarity such as we see with brands like Hermès.

I only keep mentioning Hermès because it’s the one that the most extreme myth seems to surround. I don’t hate the products; I think lots of them are lovely. But the reality is that they could manufacture as many bags as they wanted, however carefully hand-crafted by experts they are, and they limit the quantity in order to feed the perception of rarity, and promote the profligate purchase of (slightly) less expensive items they produce by engendering the perception — a culture in which many of us collude — that they may reward the customer by ‘allowing’ them the opportunity to buy the glittering prize of a Kelly or Birkin at the end of it all, if the customer has shown adequate ‘appreciation’ of and ‘commitment’ to the brand. (And truth be told, there’s an awful lot of those bags out there, and not only the rarity but also the PERCEPTION of rarity is engineered).

These objects may very well be lovely in themselves — I’m certainly not saying they are not worth having or that nobody should buy them, or that anybody is a dupe for buying them — but the market is carefully engineered to maximise profit and a perception of exclusivity (used in the true sense that people are being excluded from it). We’re all dupes if we believe the hype, though. Fair enough, it’s a business, profit is acceptable; we all buy things we like, business makes the world go round, and the monetary value of anything is a product partly of what it cost to make and market, but at this level, it seems even more a product of what somebody is willing to pay for it.

I mean no disrespect at all to any Hermès or Chanel owner. I certainly have my weak spots. I succumb to Fendi; and all marketing, including that of Fendi, is manipulative. I aim to stay reasonably objective and weigh up the quality of what I’m buying and it’s value to me. I actually felt rather put off by some recent marketing which had models cavorting with their Peekaboos — which I love — as if they were actually in love with them, wearing those off-putting ‘I-exist-in-a-world-you-can-only-imagine’ expressions Anybody else?

I can’t succumb to Hermès or Chanel because I would feel so much more manipulated and exploited, in the face of this engineered rarity and artificial culture of reverence. I can respect the skills and the work that go into making the products. But the brand seems to become something close to a religion in some people’s eyes, spoken of in hushed tones and with exaggerated respect. Who knows, I might suddenly realise a Birkin is exactly what I need and is worth the money to me. They are nice bags of great quality. If I can walk into an Hermès store and just buy one, or I wouldn’t mind a waiting list. But I would feel so duped if I let myself climb on that particular luxury merry-go-round of developing a ‘relationship’ with them and playing an artificially engineered game.

Chanel is not like Hermes. If they have a product in stock, they will happily sell it to you, at least in my experience. They don't look up your prior spending history.

 

[Annie J]

Chanel is not like Hermes. If they have a product in stock, they will happily sell it to you, at least in my experience. They don't look up your prior spending history.

Oh yes, I stand corrected. I really just meant the prices with Chanel. [emoji1303]

 

[GPR]

I've noticed that the more expensive these items become the more people I see carrying them. This is especially true of the holy bag trinity of LV/Chanel/Hermes. That suggests to me that the main purpose of these brands has become wealth status signaling. It's no longer about quality or craftsmanship, as these have declined and many of these products are mass produced and made primarily or entirely in China.

We now see it as normal to "save up" for a bag. That was unthinkable 20 years ago. You saved up for a house, a car, your children's college, retirement, maybe furniture. You bought shoes and bags based on what was affordable for your clothing budget. But now teachers are socking away 10% of their salary to buy a Chanel and the industry encourages this, while hoping to get in two or ten more price increases before actually handing one of their precious branded bags to a teacher of all people. It's a schizophrenic system of luxury brand wanting us to want their products, but wanting to keep us from having access to them at the same time. Your description of being in an abusive relationship is pretty apt.

I think people think their luxury goods say more about them than they do. This was even sited in a recent discussion about the new Chanel price increases (side note: LOL) as a reason they would keep buying. They thought their Chanel told the world they were this amazing, superior person. But the truth is, give up luxury, and you'll see how ridiculous that is. You'll see how little your life changes and how no one thinks any differently of you.

Just because you've always done something, like buy luxury, does not mean you have to keep doing it. You have plenty of beautiful things you can keep using until they wear out. I think you'll also find the non-lux world has a lot to offer.

This! I had awkward moment recently, when I carried a premier designer bag (~$1000) to a party, when all other girlfriends were carrying Chanel/Hermes/Moynat. One girl gave me a judgemental look and comment. My girlfriend literally had to defend me saying that I support young designers, not bc I can't afford it blah blah blah. I was shocked...

 

[vintagefinds]

Why are you singling out teachers? While I understand what you’re getting at, assuming all teachers are poor is an assumption. In some parts of the country, teachers are making six figures. We can’t assume anything about people and their careers and where they get their money. Some have family money, are married to a rich spouse, make a decent amount from working and tutoring, etc.

It's an example of a middle class profession. And in no way did I suggest or imply teachers, or anyone else, is "poor." If a Chanel bag is 10% of your gross income, the example I used, you're actually making the average US household salary. That's how ridiculous the prices have gotten.

I was prepared to be called out for this. Spending that much of your income, no matter what your profession, on a leather product that can be easily lost, stolen, damaged, decreases in value as you use it, and is not of a quality to match the price tag, would be seen as objectively unwise 20 years ago. Now to say so is "judgmental" and suggesting someone doesn't "deserve" luxury. Except that reaction is part and parcel of how society had changed. The idea that luxury goods are an important, valuable thing to stretch your finances for. Owning luxury has all but become a tenet of the American Dream. And not being able to have one would mean you're "poor." Imagine if a tulip bulb cost $6000. Would it make sense to you if a large number of average Americans felt the need to save up for this tulip bulb? Would you say, "hey, they're just flower lovers"? Would you think it was mean for someone to suggest this was not a good idea?

I'm sure there have always been aspirational customers (and before you get mad at me, keep in mind the industry uses this word to refer to their middle class customers), but it wasn't as normalized as it is now. People feel a need for these products when they didn't before. It's a societal shift, and I'm not sure it's one for the better. Design houses are raising prices and slashing costs (i.e. quality) and banking their profits, but I'm not sure the average consumer is a winner in this culture.

 

[vintagefinds]

My girlfriend literally had to defend me saying that I support young designers, not bc I can't afford it blah blah blah. I was shocked...

I know your friend meant well, and I'm sure she was speaking to her audience, but let's just say you couldn't afford it... when did that become a bad thing? Would they have kicked you out of the party?

I've noticed this a lot, actually. People on this board assuring everyone the reason they don't have XYZ isn't because they can't afford it but because they've chosen not to purchase it. Why do we feel the need to preface our statements this way?

 

[MamaSleepy]

This! I had awkward moment recently, when I carried a premier designer bag (~$1000) to a party, when all other girlfriends were carrying Chanel/Hermes/Moynat. One girl gave me a judgemental look and comment. My girlfriend literally had to defend me saying that I support young designers, not bc I can't afford it blah blah blah. I was shocked...

Stepford Wives - everyone must limit their choices to only those "approved."

 

[whateve]

I’ve read a book pointing out to the fact that these days true wealth understood as for example nice house or top 5 uni tuition is not available for middle class (like a really nice house in the UK is probably £1m while avg salary £25k and people struggle to save even 10% for a deposit) so what’s left for these people is actually “stuff” including luxury hence the rise of these.
While I’m agreeing with almost all said in this topic, I’d be careful with “the teacher”. My friend is a former teacher who truly loves fashion- she buys preowned luxury items and is saving up for Chanel (already owning a few Chloe bags). While I see it as a bit unwise/too early investment (she probably should first put money in requalifying), I keep my shout and appreciate her passion which has nothing to do with pretending she’s got money.

There was a time in my life where I made a good salary but didn't have enough for the down payment to buy a house, and it would take a really long time to save for that, especially since I lived in a place where housing prices were really high. So I spent my money on lots of nonessential items. It didn't occur to me to spend that money on purses. Maybe it was so long ago that hardly anyone who was working did that. I carried Coach back then, leather - this was before signature, but I don't remember noticing what anyone else carried. I had nice clothes too. I only bought one purse a year and wore it for that year before replacing it with a new one. I remember ordering fancy food through the mail, like Omaha steaks.

Years later, after I was married, we had plenty of money, along with the nice house, but again, it didn't occur to me to buy designer purses. We were starting a family, and I spent money on furnishings and baby stuff. We traveled a lot. I didn't notice anyone carrying designer purses. We lived in the country among horse people and no one dressed up much. Maybe it would have been different if we were in a big city.

I didn't start collecting purses until my teenage daughter spent the money she made working at McDonald's on a Coach purse. It cost $400. It was her money and she could spend it however she wanted. I thought it was ridiculous to spend so much, especially when she didn't have unlimited resources, so I started looking on ebay to see if I could find a similar purse for a lot less, just to show her. That's what got me started, and I couldn't have predicted the collection I have acquired since then. My daughter is grown now, has a career, and isn't interested in collecting luxury items. The last purse related item I got her was a Michael Kors tote - her choice. Now she spends her money on things to decorate her house.

I still live in a small town and don't see luxury items every day, except online. There aren't any stores here that are higher priced than Macy's.

I think the vast majority of people who don't own luxury items don't desire to and don't really notice them on other people.