Struggling With Luxury: Time to Get Off the Merry-go-round?!

[mrs.JC]

I feel this right now after my month-long spending spree. I sold two bags I've had for years (may sell one or two more I'm not in love with, still debating), returned one bag due to impractical size (may return another because it didn't excite me in person as much as it did online - undecided still), but have bought (and kept!) so many luxury bags.

I was fortunate enough to receive a huge work bonus last month (equivalent to two months pay) and used that to fund all of this, but I know it would've been wiser to invest or save that money. I kept thinking that I haven't shopped for myself (nothing luxury, at least) in nearly five years so it would be okay. I don't know what came over me, or why I bought so many handbags, pairs of shoes, or clothes in such a short period of time. (Actually the clothes I can kind of justify--I've lost 25 pounds since January and I looked frumpy in my baggy work clothes, but I'd already replaced a lot of my wardrobe so the level of accumulation still makes me feel a little sick...)

Anyway, I don't feel buyer's remorse per se, at least not the usual kind. I like/will use all the items I purchased, and all the clothes/shoes I purchased were on sale and/or partially funded by a gift card. I'm more disturbed by the timing of my purchases--how quickly I accumulated all these things. I literally still have bags I haven't used, and clothes/shoes still with tags.

To tie my rambling post into the thread though--I definitely need to hop off the luxury merry-go-round for a good while and use/enjoy my new items. I feel myself swayed by trends I probably won't appreciate in a few years, and the incredible marketing of these highend brands make me feel pressured to buy more things I don't need right now. The manipulation makes me feel sick. Like others here, I'm also (further) sickened/confused by the seemingly constant price increases by some of these brands. More than anything else, I feel disgusted by my desire to satisfy urges that make zero sense. Sigh.

 

[Emily1830]

Update: So recently I have been looking more at inexpensive brands and felt pretty happy. For example, my latest obsession with clothes has been Sonnet James. I love all of her cute but carefree (and machine washable!) dresses for my lifestyle. Each one is pretty affordable at around $100-150. I also just got new eyeglasses, and I had ZERO desire to buy designer frames (my old ones are designer). And now, I can't believe this but I am seriously thinking of getting a COACH bag! I thought I would never buy Coach again but the Cassie crossbody bag has my attention, and it's seriously only $395 compared to a 4k Chanel. I think these examples are teaching me that I no longer feel the need to spend designer prices when I want to shop. I saw a Youtuber say she was "over" these expensive handbags and I'm starting to feel the same way. I'm happy with my current collection and I will add to it from time to time, but I don't have to do it at the same frenetic pace as before.

 

[louise_elouise]

Update: So recently I have been looking more at inexpensive brands and felt pretty happy. For example, my latest obsession with clothes has been Sonnet James. I love all of her cute but carefree (and machine washable!) dresses for my lifestyle. Each one is pretty affordable at around $100-150. I also just got new eyeglasses, and I had ZERO desire to buy designer frames (my old ones are designer). And now, I can't believe this but I am seriously thinking of getting a COACH bag! I thought I would never buy Coach again but the Cassie crossbody bag has my attention, and it's seriously only $395 compared to a 4k Chanel. I think these examples are teaching me that I no longer feel the need to spend designer prices when I want to shop. I saw a Youtuber say she was "over" these expensive handbags and I'm starting to feel the same way. I'm happy with my current collection and I will add to it from time to time, but I don't have to do it at the same frenetic pace as before.

I think it goes to show that we can get the thrill of shopping from anything, be it $5 or $5k. So one way to get off the luxury merry go round is to simply redirect your attention to lower priced items and think of a $20 lipstick as an exciting splurge

 

[Annawakes]

Hi y’all. I’m feeling a bit down tonight and unable to sleep because I made an impulse buy today. It was so weird, I walked into the boutique thinking, oh I’ll just have a look to see what’s new, and as my eyes wandered around I saw something I’d been wanting. Actually I had bought this same bag before already (four times! But returned it each time due to some quality issues/defects). And I’d given up on this bag until I saw it again today. I asked to see it and it looked okay, better than the others I’d had. And then I had this argument in my head- that I really like this bag, I love it, but do I need it? NO! But I just couldn’t walk away and leave it there. So I bought it. And now of course I feel guilty about it.

Now I think if I could just STOP buying bags for a while and FIND another hobby (like reading again- I used to read so much before all my time got sucked up by shopping for purses) then this purchase won’t be so bad.

Then I think, gee, if I hadn’t walked in and just decided to go straight home, I wouldn’t even have seen it and wouldn’t know it was there. So truly, the best thing I can do to stop buying is to stop looking. Online and in store. Period.

And also ignoring the texts from SA’s sending me info on what’s new. Ugh.

I know y’all understand. I have to stop and enjoy what I have. I currently have five luxury bags and it’s really more than enough. More than enough.

 

[BittyMonkey]

It was so weird, I walked into the boutique thinking, oh I’ll just have a look to see what’s new, and as my eyes wandered around I saw something I’d been wanting. Actually I had bought this same bag before already (four times! But returned it each time due to some quality issues/defects). And I’d given up on this bag until I saw it again today. I asked to see it and it looked okay, better than the others I’d had. And then I had this argument in my head- that I really like this bag, I love it, but do I need it? NO! But I just couldn’t walk away and leave it there. So I bought it. And now of course I feel guilty about it....I know y’all understand. I have to stop and enjoy what I have. I currently have five luxury bags and it’s really more than enough. More than enough.

Honestly I don't think you should feel TOO bad about it because you obviously love this bag. You keep trying to buy it and they keep letting you down, and finally you found one that works. I'm not saying that to be an enabler...I'm saying that because I believe there is a place for those items in your head that just won't go away.

I've fallen off the wagon a few times (very bad lately, haha). For me, the problem is impulse buying because I fall in love with the aesthetics of something, and I'm very bad about buying for my fantasy life rather than real life. I also have a bit of the FOMO thing going on.

That said, trigger control almost always works for me. As you said, avoid going in there in the first place. Or in the case of internet shopping, I will add things to my shopping cart and then close the window. A lot of times that forces me to wait. Days later I go back and most often I don't really want it anymore. The items I keep coming back to and fill a hole in my closet I let myself buy.

I have accepted the fact I am never going to be an Aesetic, so I am trying to reduce my purchases, improve savings, and when I do purchase have it be a 10-20 year investment piece. If I have a windfall, I save a little bit for fun and then put the rest towards student loans.

Long story short, don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe list your triggers and then avoid those. You were in the boutique, now you know what's new for a long time!

 

[whateve]

Hi y’all. I’m feeling a bit down tonight and unable to sleep because I made an impulse buy today. It was so weird, I walked into the boutique thinking, oh I’ll just have a look to see what’s new, and as my eyes wandered around I saw something I’d been wanting. Actually I had bought this same bag before already (four times! But returned it each time due to some quality issues/defects). And I’d given up on this bag until I saw it again today. I asked to see it and it looked okay, better than the others I’d had. And then I had this argument in my head- that I really like this bag, I love it, but do I need it? NO! But I just couldn’t walk away and leave it there. So I bought it. And now of course I feel guilty about it.

Now I think if I could just STOP buying bags for a while and FIND another hobby (like reading again- I used to read so much before all my time got sucked up by shopping for purses) then this purchase won’t be so bad.

Then I think, gee, if I hadn’t walked in and just decided to go straight home, I wouldn’t even have seen it and wouldn’t know it was there. So truly, the best thing I can do to stop buying is to stop looking. Online and in store. Period.

And also ignoring the texts from SA’s sending me info on what’s new. Ugh.

I know y’all understand. I have to stop and enjoy what I have. I currently have five luxury bags and it’s really more than enough. More than enough.

I did something similar. I went it a store where I had no intention of buying and walked out with a bag. That's after a very long time of resisting. My collection is much bigger than yours. Although most weren't incredibly expensive, together it is a substantial amount, and more importantly, there are so many bags that if I were to carry each of them for part of the year, each bag would only get used a few days. That's what causes my guilt.

But I really love my new bag so I'm going to enjoy using it. It didn't break the bank.

Keeping busy with other things is a good idea.

 

[Coconuts40]

Hi y’all. I’m feeling a bit down tonight and unable to sleep because I made an impulse buy today. It was so weird, I walked into the boutique thinking, oh I’ll just have a look to see what’s new, and as my eyes wandered around I saw something I’d been wanting. Actually I had bought this same bag before already (four times! But returned it each time due to some quality issues/defects). And I’d given up on this bag until I saw it again today. I asked to see it and it looked okay, better than the others I’d had. And then I had this argument in my head- that I really like this bag, I love it, but do I need it? NO! But I just couldn’t walk away and leave it there. So I bought it. And now of course I feel guilty about it.

Now I think if I could just STOP buying bags for a while and FIND another hobby (like reading again- I used to read so much before all my time got sucked up by shopping for purses) then this purchase won’t be so bad.

Then I think, gee, if I hadn’t walked in and just decided to go straight home, I wouldn’t even have seen it and wouldn’t know it was there. So truly, the best thing I can do to stop buying is to stop looking. Online and in store. Period.

And also ignoring the texts from SA’s sending me info on what’s new. Ugh.

I know y’all understand. I have to stop and enjoy what I have. I currently have five luxury bags and it’s really more than enough. More than enough.

I believe we have all fallen victim to this many many times. The impulse purchase, the temptation. If you have returned this bag before, you can honestly return it again, given the remorse you have. You can also keep it and enjoy it. I know how you feel, I have had many sleepless nights because of some impulse purchases. Not because I can't afford the purchase, but because I am super practical and I just don't wear certain items often enough to justify the purchase. I would rather just take the money and invest it...like a real investment and not a handbag 'investment'.

I always say that just because I love something doesn't mean I have to own it...I can always admire something from afar. My Hermes bag journey will be coming to an end soon, because I spend so much time building quota for my Kelly bags, only to find I prefer just to carry a wallet when I go out, or a non B/K/C. So I need to start getting real about my life.

Please let us know what you decide, I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over this, and deep down I think you know what the right decision will be

 

[jill39]

Hi y’all. I’m feeling a bit down tonight and unable to sleep because I made an impulse buy today. It was so weird, I walked into the boutique thinking, oh I’ll just have a look to see what’s new, and as my eyes wandered around I saw something I’d been wanting. Actually I had bought this same bag before already (four times! But returned it each time due to some quality issues/defects). And I’d given up on this bag until I saw it again today. I asked to see it and it looked okay, better than the others I’d had. And then I had this argument in my head- that I really like this bag, I love it, but do I need it? NO! But I just couldn’t walk away and leave it there. So I bought it. And now of course I feel guilty about it.

Now I think if I could just STOP buying bags for a while and FIND another hobby (like reading again- I used to read so much before all my time got sucked up by shopping for purses) then this purchase won’t be so bad.

Then I think, gee, if I hadn’t walked in and just decided to go straight home, I wouldn’t even have seen it and wouldn’t know it was there. So truly, the best thing I can do to stop buying is to stop looking. Online and in store. Period.

And also ignoring the texts from SA’s sending me info on what’s new. Ugh.

I know y’all understand. I have to stop and enjoy what I have. I currently have five luxury bags and it’s really more than enough. More than enough.

It sounds like you really like this bag and just happened to find one in good condition. So I think there’s nothing wrong with keeping it and enjoying it. Maybe make this your last purchase for awhile. It’s hard to get texts from SAs with all the new stuff coming out. Just remind yourself of everything you already own. I know it’s easier said then done for sure. We’ve all been there. Know you’re not alone. But please enjoy your most recent purchase!! Nothing wrong with getting something nice and then taking a break....

 

[Annawakes]

Long story short, don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe list your triggers and then avoid those. You were in the boutique, now you know what's new for a long time!

I did something similar. I went it a store where I had no intention of buying and walked out with a bag. That's after a very long time of resisting.

Keeping busy with other things is a good idea.

I know how you feel, I have had many sleepless nights because of some impulse purchases. Not because I can't afford the purchase, but because I am super practical and I just don't wear certain items often enough to justify the purchase.

Please let us know what you decide, I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over this, and deep down I think you know what the right decision will be

It sounds like you really like this bag and just happened to find one in good condition. So I think there’s nothing wrong with keeping it and enjoying it. Maybe make this your last purchase for awhile..Just remind yourself of everything you already own. I know it’s easier said then done for sure. We’ve all been there...

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me that ya’ll understand and also take the time to comment. I agree with everything you all have said.

Today I took the bag out again and looked it over closely. While it is still not perfect, it is better than the others I’ve had. I also have to keep telling myself that nothing is perfect! And I tried it on again and do so love it. I’ve decided to keep this bag and try my utmost to stop buying for at least a year or two.

After thinking about it, I don’t think this truly is an impulse purchase, since I’ve liked and wanted this bag since the beginning of the year. So it’s been quite a while, and it was March when I started trying to obtain this bag. It was just that eventually I gave up. So maybe this was meant to be. But I’m not kidding myself, it happened because I decided to walk in and look, when I wasn’t even supposed to be bag shopping. So @BittyMonkey ’s suggestion to remove the triggers is spot on. It’s gonna be hard not to visit those online sites every spare moment I get. I need to go to the library and get those books that were mentioned a few pages back:

The year of less by cait Flanders

The story of stuff by Anna leonardi

I am really hoping this bag ends the luxury merry go round for me. It’s been three years! I’ve said it before but I really think this time I can live with my collection for quite a while. I hope ~hope ~hope so!

 

[pjhm]

I’m done with luxury but not quality. Example: Wallets—I own 3 different LV wallets , one Hermès, one Chanel and one Judith Leiber, yet none handled all my needs. Enter Longchamp wallet, and I’m in heaven.
Plus, it is a fraction of what the luxury brands cost.