Struggling With Luxury: Time to Get Off the Merry-go-round?!

[oo_let_me_see]

OP, I got off the luxury train a while back. I was deep into the “desire to acquire”. I still like nice things...and I might make a planned purchase once in a great while. But for the most part, I decided I want to spend my money on my family and travel, and also save for retirement. Luxury is just not that important to me anymore, and I like that.

 

[Pimpernel]

About expensive stuff left when you pass away, I take note every time a friend, colleague or relative makes a sincere comment that shows he/she loves an item (bag, scarf, furniture, jewelry, a painting or porcelain, etc), and write the name and contact data of that person together with the item, in a small notebook that I keep with my "To whom it may concern" last dispositions. So far it lists over 150 names and items (when two people want the same item, the one who hasn´t expressed a love for another item of mine gets that item). And so, all of them will be automatically rehomed to those people who showed they liked or wanted them Just an idea, for those who are as anal about order and clarity as yours truly.

The rest can go to the Knights of Malta social work or whichever reasonably decent charity will take them off the hands of my heirs for free.

 

[papertiger]

It's a great thread with lots of different points of view on the topic.

The saddest part of all of this comes when we see TPF members stuck in the "buy buy buy sell sell sell" cycle (although many don't admit they sold the bags until much later). A lot of folks are stretching their budget to afford these luxury items... and I was guilty of such unhealthy behavior myself when I first started buying luxury brands too.

That's so dangerous and I hate that the forum, instagram, the internet, etc. foster this illusion that it's totally normal for middle-class families to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on bags and wallet every few weeks. The constant worry about "resale value" and "timelessness" highlights the underlying anxiety that comes with spending so much money on these items.

100% agree and IMO it's such a shame. Like thinking about the terms of a divorce settlement before even dating.

I had so much fun with less expensive past-names vintage bags (as in proper 30 years old +) before spending serious money on new designer. Ithink it helped me understand what suited me too and appreciate things for their own sake and not for the price tag or fashion kudos. My mother gave me things but it's not the same.

And that's another thing. The pretence we're buying (stockpiling) for our children/grandchildren. We have no idea of what their tastes and circumstances will be.

 

[BittyMonkey]

Maybe true for some, but if contemporary brands and Cole Haan doesn't count in the designer bracket, then my shopping habits are actually getting cheaper. Maybe that's because I never went for more expensive bags than LV's lowest range, or Mulberry, but I'm buying more contemporary than premier these days. And I've been shopping high-end since over 10 years ago in college, but always new via secondary markets, so supposedly I'd fall into that age group, lol

Cole Haan is seriously underrated. I have a basket bag I use every summer. I bought it for a 2010 Italy trip and just used it again for my 2018 Mediterranean trip. And it looks like it was bought yesterday.

 

[anitalilac]

Cole Haan is seriously underrated. I have a basket bag I use every summer. I bought it for a 2010 Italy trip and just used it again for my 2018 Mediterranean trip. And it looks like it was bought yesterday.

I agree, their bags are so beautifully made. I own a few 10 years ago and gave it to my sister . Anyway I'm thinking of getting their Zero Grand Shoes, hoping that it has the arch support I need for my flat feet.

 

[pureplatinum]

I tried their (cole haan) lobster pinch loafers and it’s well-padded and they feel so comfortable on my feet like sneakers!

 

[eckw]

And that's another thing. The pretence we're buying (stockpiling) for our children/grandchildren. We have no idea of what their tastes and circumstances will be.

So true! My mom passed away years before I was into luxury brands. I remember there were a Chanel classic flap and grand tote bag (among others) that she wore a lot, But she left us so suddenly and there were so many things to go through and to this day, neither my sister nor I have any idea what happened to her bag collection.

 

[BigPurseSue]

Cole Haan is seriously underrated. I have a basket bag I use every summer. I bought it for a 2010 Italy trip and just used it again for my 2018 Mediterranean trip. And it looks like it was bought yesterday.

I love my Cole Haan bags. I have several including a couple wristlets that get more use than just about any other bag in my closet. For me CH bags offer just the right amount of elegance + casual chic to fit my lifestyle. Anything fancier would end up at the back of the closet and I would never carry it.

In fact CH bags are the reason I stopped shopping for bags. I'm just very happy with the ones I have. I think that's the key to getting off the shopping carousel, finding what works best for your lifestyle. There are bags I see all the time on TPF that I love, but I know that I would rarely carry them. I just don't have that life.

 

[papertiger]

So true! My mom passed away years before I was into luxury brands. I remember there were a Chanel classic flap and grand tote bag (among others) that she wore a lot, But she left us so suddenly and there were so many things to go through and to this day, neither my sister nor I have any idea what happened to her bag collection.

It must have been so traumatic, and that's such a shame, it would have been nice to have one just because they'd been hers

 

[Dooneysta]

My struggle is that I'm already retired and worrying about not getting my money's worth out of my bags because of my lifestyle. I'm worried that at some point, I won't be healthy enough to go out and about with my bags so they will just sit there. Then I'm worried about my kids having to deal with my collection after I'm gone. I worry they will give everything to Goodwill instead of selling them or using them.

Oh, Whateve...maybe you can have them look over your bag collection and notate which, if any, they would like to have. Then anything else can be dispersed to women’s shelters.
It’s almost a burden on a charity to donate handbags unless it’s something high-end enough to warrant, like, Christie’s. By the time they take photos, list it, pay the fees and deal with nutcases and scammers, they’ve probably LOST money considering the resale value of most bags.

But a women’s shelter can give the actual bags to women who maybe had to leave their home very suddenly with just whatever they could carry, or have been homeless and could use something pretty to make them feel like they are still human, and so on.
If you have a very large collection, then unless you live in a huge city and therefore have a very busy shelter, you may need to choose more than one shelter to receive the largesse.
Or you may have an estate sale just for bags, while you are still kicking, perhaps advertising that the profits are earmarked for X charity. Stuff them, tag them and display them throughout the home estate-sale style and do bundle deals

I’m in much the same boat as you other than age; I don’t have any kids (won’t happen in future) and it looks like I only will end up with two nieces, who may or may not grow up to a) be into bags or b) appreciate the same bags as me, so I might also have no family to bequeath to, but I have dozens on top of dozens of handbags. And a parrot that may outlast me, if health smiles on him. Sigh.

 

[whateve]

Oh, Whateve...maybe you can have them look over your bag collection and notate which, if any, they would like to have. Then anything else can be dispersed to women’s shelters.
It’s almost a burden on a charity to donate handbags unless it’s something high-end enough to warrant, like, Christie’s. By the time they take photos, list it, pay the fees and deal with nutcases and scammers, they’ve probably LOST money considering the resale value of most bags.

But a women’s shelter can give the actual bags to women who maybe had to leave their home very suddenly with just whatever they could carry, or have been homeless and could use something pretty to make them feel like they are still human, and so on.
If you have a very large collection, then unless you live in a huge city and therefore have a very busy shelter, you may need to choose more than one shelter to receive the largesse.
Or you may have an estate sale just for bags, while you are still kicking, perhaps advertising that the profits are earmarked for X charity. Stuff them, tag them and display them throughout the home estate-sale style and do bundle deals

I’m in much the same boat as you other than age; I don’t have any kids (won’t happen in future) and it looks like I only will end up with two nieces, who may or may not grow up to a) be into bags or b) appreciate the same bags as me, so I might also have no family to bequeath to, but I have dozens on top of dozens of handbags. And a parrot that may outlast me, if health smiles on him. Sigh.

I also have a pet (a giant tortoise) that will outlive me, if nothing happens to him. I knew he could outlive me when I bought him 20 years ago. I always expected one of my children to take him but who knows what their situation will be at the time. My older daughter doesn't live in a good climate for him. I'm counting on my son to take him, but he will either have to move into our house when we are gone or have bought a house of his own by then.

I figure I still have many years left to enjoy my purses. I'd like to reduce the collection quite a bit in the next 10 years or so. I've already given some purses to my daughters, and I know that at least one of them will happily take more. I have a spreadsheet that documents the cost of every item in my collection so if they decide to sell, I hope they will use that as a guideline. Of course, they will also have to figure out what to do with everything else in the house.

My sister and I divided up our parents' things but by the time I got there, she had already disposed of my mom's purses. There wasn't anything valuable but it would have been nice to have kept one. She moved into my parents' house so she kept all the furniture and most of the artwork, at least for awhile.

 

[AL10]

I do not own any luxury bags because I just haven't been able to convince myself that the price points are worth it.. I look at the collections many users share here which can easily exceed $40,000 in retail value. Some collections exceed $100,000.00 in retail value and I just think my god. And whether or not you can afford it, I think it gets obsessive compulsive at some point.

I recently posted a thread about the consequences of using an older style. I used some of those responses to determine if a luxury bag was worth buying. The answer for me is probably not although I can't say owning one or two luxury bags for occasional use would be unrealistic. I just think if you look within the higher end or more exclusive contemporary range, you might be happier, have a lot more in your collection, for a lot less money.

Luxury Bag Pros
Quality
Product life
Exclusivity
Class

Luxury Bag Cons
Never ending significant investment required
No guarantee of resale
No guarantee of gradual depreciation versus rapid depreciation
Bag is subject to carry mishaps as any other (stains, drops, tears, rips)

Luxury Bag Realizations
Contemporary designers can produce high quality bags at more realistic price points
Less financial impact for owning any number of bags for the price of one luxury bag

Final Thought
If you choose to leave designer and contemporary is too mainstream, you could look at lesser known brands that produce high quality bags. This could actually end up being fun, refreshing, exclusive, and way more economical but resale could be difficult so you may want to keep that in mind. You could avoid the resale issue by making sure you don't over purchase and buy only the bags you really want. I actually developed a simple grading scale that itemizes all the bags wanted and then prioritizes them based on my own preference which is updated almost weekly. I only commit to purchases where the grading score exceeds 8 out of 10.

 

[Dooneysta]

I also have a pet (a giant tortoise) that will outlive me, if nothing happens to him. I knew he could outlive me when I bought him 20 years ago. I always expected one of my children to take him but who knows what their situation will be at the time. My older daughter doesn't live in a good climate for him. I'm counting on my son to take him, but he will either have to move into our house when we are gone or have bought a house of his own by then.

I figure I still have many years left to enjoy my purses. I'd like to reduce the collection quite a bit in the next 10 years or so. I've already given some purses to my daughters, and I know that at least one of them will happily take more. I have a spreadsheet that documents the cost of every item in my collection so if they decide to sell, I hope they will use that as a guideline. Of course, they will also have to figure out what to do with everything else in the house.

My sister and I divided up our parents' things but by the time I got there, she had already disposed of my mom's purses. There wasn't anything valuable but it would have been nice to have kept one. She moved into my parents' house so she kept all the furniture and most of the artwork, at least for awhile.

I’m glad there’s that.Tortoises are awesome,btw.

 

[cbarrus]

I think the time to start saying no to luxury is when you are having these feelings of angst regarding your collection. This past year I have pared down my bags considerably because I felt I had too many of what I call closet trophies. I retired two years ago, and I just do not need all these bags cluttering my closet. My two favorites have always been Louis Vuitton and Balenciaga. I am not into Chanel or Hermes, thankfully, LOL. I now have only two Louis Vuitton, and I am on a mission to wear one of them for the winter, and so far I am content with that. I have other contemporary bags, mostly Coach and Longchamp that I wear in certain situations when I do not feel an LV would be appropriate.

I do not think you are alone in thinking that luxury purchases are getting excessive. I just read an article that says most of the fashion houses will not do as well in 2019 (which is not to say that they are not doing well enough already, LOL). This may be due to fear of where the economy is headed or just wanting to be less conspicuous with purchases than in the past. The younger crowd is starting to put luxury purchases on the back burner in favor of life experiences.

Since paring down my collection, I have not looked back. It really is a freeing experience. I did not need to sell but having all that money in my closet seemed wasteful. I would rather use it for other things or just save it for now.

 

[MyAwesomeFinds]

Oh, Whateve...maybe you can have them look over your bag collection and notate which, if any, they would like to have. Then anything else can be dispersed to women’s shelters.
It’s almost a burden on a charity to donate handbags unless it’s something high-end enough to warrant, like, Christie’s. By the time they take photos, list it, pay the fees and deal with nutcases and scammers, they’ve probably LOST money considering the resale value of most bags.

But a women’s shelter can give the actual bags to women who maybe had to leave their home very suddenly with just whatever they could carry, or have been homeless and could use something pretty to make them feel like they are still human, and so on.
If you have a very large collection, then unless you live in a huge city and therefore have a very busy shelter, you may need to choose more than one shelter to receive the largesse.
Or you may have an estate sale just for bags, while you are still kicking, perhaps advertising that the profits are earmarked for X charity. Stuff them, tag them and display them throughout the home estate-sale style and do bundle deals

I’m in much the same boat as you other than age; I don’t have any kids (won’t happen in future) and it looks like I only will end up with two nieces, who may or may not grow up to a) be into bags or b) appreciate the same bags as me, so I might also have no family to bequeath to, but I have dozens on top of dozens of handbags. And a parrot that may outlast me, if health smiles on him. Sigh.

Any charity (or your children) could simply send the bags to a large consignor like TRR and then they wouldn't have to do any work and they could get some money back for them. No need for the items to be high end enough for Christie's.