Scarves Scarfaholics Anonymous - shopping and mental health

[blydia]

Constant craving? Preoccupation with HS? I don't think you are offending anyone at all. The beauty of the scarves themselves plus the potential they have to, in some sense, re-create our selves, complement our coloring, brighten up a crummy day, complete an outfit, etc. offer ample justifications for purchasing. Yes, Blydia, I'd like to know how you keep these justifications at bay. (Didn't you wear a Three Graces in brown/blue/green? If that was you, that was wonderful eye candy for me. I want one too in that cw -- even tho I already have the orange and the blue/red/white versions). But the store didn't have the brown/blue/green version! (How to be happy/content with what I have . . .??????)

haha yes I can tell we share a passion. as I said earlier in the thread, the thought of opportunity costs is what keeps my wanting in check currently. the fact that there aren’t enough days in a week or month to give all my scarf babes the love they deserve and adding more would make that problem worse...
that and all the reports of faulty scarves all while they keep hiking prices...

 

[eagle1002us]

Occasionally DH remarks “what’s missing in your life that you keep buying scarves” - such food for thought here.

I've always been interested in fashion because I am intrigued by the changeover in styles and colors from year to year, decade to decade. I don't see this as an expression that something is missing in my life, it's that I enjoy what H does with accessories from season to season. There's always at least one unexpected element in their colorways, designs, or lately the texture of the silks (i.e., washed silks). The flip side of liking change is that I might get bored with what I have -- and it could be stuff that's perfectly nice. I don't worry about this impulse b/c there is a reseller market for H items so I figure I can recover at least some of my initial investment and sometimes a bit more.

I went into economics as a career b/c that's a field that's about change, the rate of change in various industries, and so forth. It's always interesting, nothing is static for long. Applying that to fashion I think I would jump in a pond with alligators if I had to wear a uniform everyday. I like the creativity of changing my outfit, mixing it up, etc. It's a hobby. It's stimulating. I like to see how others do the same thing.

 

[klynneann]

I've always been interested in fashion because I am intrigued by the changeover in styles and colors from year to year, decade to decade. I don't see this as an expression that something is missing in my life, it's that I enjoy what H does with accessories from season to season. There's always at least one unexpected element in their colorways, designs, or lately the texture of the silks (i.e., washed silks). The flip side of liking change is that I might get bored with what I have -- and it could be stuff that's perfectly nice. I don't worry about this impulse b/c there is a reseller market for H items so I figure I can recover at least some of my initial investment and sometimes a bit more.

I went into economics as a career b/c that's a field that's about change, the rate of change in various industries, and so forth. It's always interesting, nothing is static for long. Applying that to fashion I think I would jump in a pond with alligators if I had to wear a uniform everyday. I like the creativity of changing my outfit, mixing it up, etc. It's a hobby. It's stimulating. I like to see how others do the same thing.

I have a very difficult time dealing with change in my life, though I know it's necessary. I'm a little jealous of how comfortable you are with it! For me, the enjoyment of fashion comes from putting an outfit together, and seeing how others put different outfits together using the same trends.

But the topic of this thread really resonates and for me, @paula24jen DH's question has nothing to do with buying scarves. I think there are a lot of people out there who are trying to fill some kind of void - some people do it with scarves; others do it with food, gambling, alcohol - you name it. This thread gives some comfort knowing that one isn't alone in asking these questions.

 

[eagle1002us]

I have a very difficult time dealing with change in my life, though I know it's necessary. I'm a little jealous of how comfortable you are with it! For me, the enjoyment of fashion comes from putting an outfit together, and seeing how others put different outfits together using the same trends.

But the topic of this thread really resonates and for me, @paula24jen DH's question has nothing to do with buying scarves. I think there are a lot of people out there who are trying to fill some kind of void - some people do it with scarves; others do it with food, gambling, alcohol - you name it. This thread gives some comfort knowing that one isn't alone in asking these questions.

Thank you, @klynneann, for the compliment, but I resist change, too. I can't put this in an H context, so I'm slightly OT, but I should upgrade my 50+ year Sears sewing machine to include (at the least) a serger or overlock machine, and then a computerized sewing machine. It'll be a cold day in hell before I do that. I don't look forward to learning new machines. Learning about new industries, new methods of marketing, etc. (my job specialty was marketing), now that stuff is cool. I have to chuckle about H coming out with lipstick and I guess, other cosmetics. They really know how to glom on to people!!! (Fortunately, I don't wear lipstick. Was always getting it on scarf when the wind blew).

 

[Jbizzybeetle]

Thank you, @klynneann, for the compliment, but I resist change, too. I can't put this in an H context, so I'm slightly OT, but I should upgrade my 50+ year Sears sewing machine to include (at the least) a serger or overlock machine, and then a computerized sewing machine. It'll be a cold day in hell before I do that. I don't look forward to learning new machines. Learning about new industries, new methods of marketing, etc. (my job specialty was marketing), now that stuff is cool. I have to chuckle about H coming out with lipstick and I guess, other cosmetics. They really know how to glom on to people!!! (Fortunately, I don't wear lipstick. Was always getting it on scarf when the wind blew).

See how much money we save by wearing H scarves? No Lipstick, no make up on the neck, fancy blouses...pennies per day, my friend...

 

[eagle1002us]

See how much money we save by wearing H scarves? No Lipstick, no make up on the neck, fancy blouses...pennies per day, my friend...

...

 

[bunnycat]

I have been doing some intense studying of my scarf wearing habits of the past year (along with the concept of CPW we started earlier) with my hunky dory spreadsheet I made the other day.

I am happy to say, many of the instinctual assessments about my scarf wearing I have made do actually pan out on real paper...but there were also some surprises!

My most worn scarf of last year was my Kachinas giant triangle which showed up in my SOTD phone images 13 times. Coming in a close second were Axis Mundi mousseline (11), Acte iii 90cm (11), Bains d'H (11) (only counting the times I actually photographed it for SOTD- I probably wore it more because I often go walking in it), Grand Prix du Faubourg (10) and Caducee Rock (9) (same thing with CR- I often wear it even if I don't take a pic for SOTD so it may be more than that)

The only 90cm scarf that had very low wears was my Phaeton, but it is 60 years old and gets a pass because I only bring it out for special occasions (like when the weather is jusssst right for it).

The mousselines and what I call my "oddball" scarves (giant triangle, pareo, cotton silk) tend to get the most wear but to my surprise, I found I also rotated fairly evenly among my 90s which I was not expecting to be the case.

The pocket squares aren't seeing as much wear as the moussies (no surprise there) or even the 90s (that was a surprise!) so that tells me I need to stop getting them, or think much more carefully before adding one on again now.

The CSGMs are still in their first full year, so I don't have a lot of data, but since I got my first one last summer, I can see that they are going to see heavy year round use because they show up almost a frequently as the mousselines. And that makes sense. Where I work, the temperature is pretty much kept the same summer or winter. And in winter, that temp feels fine! And then outside is a no brainer to have a heavy scarf. But in summer, when your choice is wear a tank top outside or have a heat stroke, then go in where the temp is STILL 68F (just like it was mid-winter) regardless of the fact that it is 100F outside...well...you need at least a jacket over that tank top (and preferably a cashmere scarf!).

The complication here is (up to now) I only have had a picture record of when I took a pic for SOTD so it may not be showing the full numbers for my wearings. Also, in relation to the CPW, here's an easy "trick " I use in order to stretch my CPW downward faster. I will wear 2 scarves at once (I did today because it was cold and I wanted to wear a moussie, so I stuck a 70 under it for extra warmth) or I wear a gavroche under a CSGM to keep it from itching, and I am also in a position where I may change scarves during the day, which brings my CPW down again. I may wear one scarf to work then another if I go to a class in the evening so may actually wear 2 scarves in one day, but not take a pic both times so my actual number might be low.

Overall, I am liking keeping track of when I wear them, and it does not make me feel bad at all. In fact, looking at the overall spread, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job of rotating through things on a fairly consistent and even basis. There were very few scarves I have that saw less than 5 wears last year. And the few that aren't working for me (or I have possibly "moved on" from) are definitely showing up on my list as the "no wears", which I expected.

 

[blydia]

I have been doing some intense studying of my scarf wearing habits of the past year (along with the concept of CPW we started earlier) with my hunky dory spreadsheet I made the other day.

I am happy to say, many of the instinctual assessments about my scarf wearing I have made do actually pan out on real paper...but there were also some surprises!

My most worn scarf of last year was my Kachinas giant triangle which showed up in my SOTD phone images 13 times. Coming in a close second were Axis Mundi mousseline (11), Acte iii 90cm (11), Bains d'H (11) (only counting the times I actually photographed it for SOTD- I probably wore it more because I often go walking in it), Grand Prix du Faubourg (10) and Caducee Rock (9) (same thing with CR- I often wear it even if I don't take a pic for SOTD so it may be more than that)

The only 90cm scarf that had very low wears was my Phaeton, but it is 60 years old and gets a pass because I only bring it out for special occasions (like when the weather is jusssst right for it).

The mousselines and what I call my "oddball" scarves (giant triangle, pareo, cotton silk) tend to get the most wear but to my surprise, I found I also rotated fairly evenly among my 90s which I was not expecting to be the case.

The pocket squares aren't seeing as much wear as the moussies (no surprise there) or even the 90s (that was a surprise!) so that tells me I need to stop getting them, or think much more carefully before adding one on again now.

The CSGMs are still in their first full year, so I don't have a lot of data, but since I got my first one last summer, I can see that they are going to see heavy year round use because they show up almost a frequently as the mousselines. And that makes sense. Where I work, the temperature is pretty much kept the same summer or winter. And in winter, that temp feels fine! And then outside is a no brainer to have a heavy scarf. But in summer, when your choice is wear a tank top outside or have a heat stroke, then go in where the temp is STILL 68F (just like it was mid-winter) regardless of the fact that it is 100F outside...well...you need at least a jacket over that tank top (and preferably a cashmere scarf!).

The complication here is (up to now) I only have had a picture record of when I took a pic for SOTD so it may not be showing the full numbers for my wearings. Also, in relation to the CPW, here's an easy "trick " I use in order to stretch my CPW downward faster. I will wear 2 scarves at once (I did today because it was cold and I wanted to wear a moussie, so I stuck a 70 under it for extra warmth) or I wear a gavroche under a CSGM to keep it from itching, and I am also in a position where I may change scarves during the day, which brings my CPW down again. I may wear one scarf to work then another if I go to a class in the evening so may actually wear 2 scarves in one day, but not take a pic both times so my actual number might be low.

Overall, I am liking keeping track of when I wear them, and it does not make me feel bad at all. In fact, looking at the overall spread, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job of rotating through things on a fairly consistent and even basis. There were very few scarves I have that saw less than 5 wears last year. And the few that aren't working for me (or I have possibly "moved on" from) are definitely showing up on my list as the "no wears", which I expected.

That's awesome, seems like you have really figured out what works for you and thus get good wear out of your scarves. I also get good use out of CSGMs in summer, for the same reason (and also because it's usually still chilly in the mornings). I also keep a picture log of my outfits, which is a great tool for figuring out what works. It's also that picture log that I'm looking at now to distract myself from the incredibly enabling les artisans by ninakt and remember that I could wear my scarves yet on one less day if I'd add that one...
I CAN DO THIS!!!

 

[Cookiefiend]

What an interesting read this thread has been, thank you @blydia for starting it! I've enjoyed seeing so many perspectives on this subject.
I took a precipitous fall down the orange slide - it has been beautiful slide, but expensive. I've made a few mistakes, and re-homed most of them. Some I've kept because I'm still on the fence about them, or I don't mind wearing them for walking the dog, gardening or just keeping me warm when I don't feel like dressing up - who knew they'd look so great with comfy clothes?
I look at them as art, wearable art. And like art for your home, it is a personal expense, one that you take on knowing not everyone will understand or appreciate. They are mine to do with what I will - I made a tote bag out of two of them - even if that is to sit in a drawer till I wear it next. When I look in the drawers, they are neatly laid out by color, nicely folded, and if I listen closely, they are all saying "Me! Me! Me today!"
There is a CPW, but I look more at the PPW (pleasure per wear) - because they are a pleasure. My DH has things he enjoys (golf and wine), and I have mine. He rarely comments on the scarves - though I do get the feeling he hopes I'm slowing down - but he does notice them. I do occasionally feel a little guilty about a purchase - it's not like I *need* them - but I have only once paid more than what a scarf originally cost in the boutiques. That once was for a grail... after I paid an astronomical price for it, I found it two weeks later for less than $100. <face palm> So I bought that one too, averaged the cost together, and now I don't feel so bad about it - I refer to this process as "H Maths".
I've kept a spreadsheet for 3 years, and I've used the Stylebook app for 2 years. This week - to the best of my abilities due to missing information - I added the CPW to the spreadsheet, for curiosity's sake. It wasn't particularly eye-opening - like @bunnycat, I pretty much know what's getting worn and what's not. Plus the newer additions (FW 2019 killed my wallet - I held a small, private ceremony in the backyard) look terrible compared to many of the older scarves… some are practically free now! Which is a very good thing.
Thanks for listening!

 

[bunnycat]

That's awesome, seems like you have really figured out what works for you and thus get good wear out of your scarves. I also get good use out of CSGMs in summer, for the same reason (and also because it's usually still chilly in the mornings). I also keep a picture log of my outfits, which is a great tool for figuring out what works. It's also that picture log that I'm looking at now to distract myself from the incredibly enabling les artisans by ninakt and remember that I could wear my scarves yet on one less day if I'd add that one...
I CAN DO THIS!!!

loo- yes- those enabling pics! (I talk myself into and out of that Les Artisans once a day right now!)

What an interesting read this thread has been, thank you @blydia for starting it! I've enjoyed seeing so many perspectives on this subject.
I took a precipitous fall down the orange slide - it has been beautiful slide, but expensive. I've made a few mistakes, and re-homed most of them. Some I've kept because I'm still on the fence about them, or I don't mind wearing them for walking the dog, gardening or just keeping me warm when I don't feel like dressing up - who knew they'd look so great with comfy clothes?
I look at them as art, wearable art. And like art for your home, it is a personal expense, one that you take on knowing not everyone will understand or appreciate. They are mine to do with what I will - I made a tote bag out of two of them - even if that is to sit in a drawer till I wear it next. When I look in the drawers, they are neatly laid out by color, nicely folded, and if I listen closely, they are all saying "Me! Me! Me today!"
There is a CPW, but I look more at the PPW (pleasure per wear) - because they are a pleasure. My DH has things he enjoys (golf and wine), and I have mine. He rarely comments on the scarves - though I do get the feeling he hopes I'm slowing down - but he does notice them. I do occasionally feel a little guilty about a purchase - it's not like I *need* them - but I have only once paid more than what a scarf originally cost in the boutiques. That once was for a grail... after I paid an astronomical price for it, I found it two weeks later for less than $100. <face palm> So I bought that one too, averaged the cost together, and now I don't feel so bad about it - I refer to this process as "H Maths".
I've kept a spreadsheet for 3 years, and I've used the Stylebook app for 2 years. This week - to the best of my abilities due to missing information - I added the CPW to the spreadsheet, for curiosity's sake. It wasn't particularly eye-opening - like @bunnycat, I pretty much know what's getting worn and what's not. Plus the newer additions (FW 2019 killed my wallet - I held a small, private ceremony in the backyard) look terrible compared to many of the older scarves… some are practically free now! Which is a very good thing.
Thanks for listening!

that is one bonus of hunting the vintage treasures....lower CPW....the downside is the "sales" goggles- which makes them multiply too fast in the drawer!

I think so far the concept of CPW doesn't phase me enough, because I view it in terms of the long run ( a bit like the stock market, I guess but in reverse looking at low overall cost over price rather than long term profit). If I were planning (or make repeated mistakes) bought at full price, but only keeping for a year or 2, then tracking CPW makes sense for me. But over the long term, that cost is going to be pretty low for me. More important for my reckoning, right now at least, is the guilt of the overall numbers. That does take a higher toll on me psychologically in relation to this thread's topic of shopping and consumption, and not a problem I have solved yet sadly.

 

[skybluesky]

The other day I got one of the reversible scarves (Wow Reversible 90), just after I said I was going to try to stick to 1 per season (I already have the Plumes en Fete from this season). As a new collector, I have to be careful. But it's in a different color way from my other scarves and the back is a different color.

Thankfully I haven't gotten into the other scarf formats, just the 90s (for now).

 

[ae888]

@bunnycat we are in the same boat! I am constantly talking myself out of les Artisans and then secretly hoping that lots of different colorways would show up online...! I am doomed

 

[blydia]

loo- yes- those enabling pics! (I talk myself into and out of that Les Artisans once a day right now!)




that is one bonus of hunting the vintage treasures....lower CPW....the downside is the "sales" goggles- which makes them multiply too fast in the drawer!

I think so far the concept of CPW doesn't phase me enough, because I view it in terms of the long run ( a bit like the stock market, I guess but in reverse looking at low overall cost over price rather than long term profit). If I were planning (or make repeated mistakes) bought at full price, but only keeping for a year or 2, then tracking CPW makes sense for me. But over the long term, that cost is going to be pretty low for me. More important for my reckoning, right now at least, is the guilt of the overall numbers. That does take a higher toll on me psychologically in relation to this thread's topic of shopping and consumption, and not a problem I have solved yet sadly.

yeah, to me CPW is more to keep down the rate of new acquisitions. I agree with you - if I stopped buying now, CPW wouldn't make sense because over time it would go down naturally. But if I keep adding new scarves I keep adding cost and spread wears.. that's my weird logic. But I also agree with you on total. I mean right now I'm in the area of a nice watch, which I can kind of justify (for me, my lifestyle, my aspirations - will obviously not apply for others) but I don't want to habituate on that as well and go towards "nice car" (again, my lifestyle and aspirations) so time for me to hit the brakes regarding that as well

 

[momasaurus]

I have been doing some intense studying of my scarf wearing habits of the past year (along with the concept of CPW we started earlier) with my hunky dory spreadsheet I made the other day.

I am happy to say, many of the instinctual assessments about my scarf wearing I have made do actually pan out on real paper...but there were also some surprises!

My most worn scarf of last year was my Kachinas giant triangle which showed up in my SOTD phone images 13 times. Coming in a close second were Axis Mundi mousseline (11), Acte iii 90cm (11), Bains d'H (11) (only counting the times I actually photographed it for SOTD- I probably wore it more because I often go walking in it), Grand Prix du Faubourg (10) and Caducee Rock (9) (same thing with CR- I often wear it even if I don't take a pic for SOTD so it may be more than that)

The only 90cm scarf that had very low wears was my Phaeton, but it is 60 years old and gets a pass because I only bring it out for special occasions (like when the weather is jusssst right for it).

The mousselines and what I call my "oddball" scarves (giant triangle, pareo, cotton silk) tend to get the most wear but to my surprise, I found I also rotated fairly evenly among my 90s which I was not expecting to be the case.

The pocket squares aren't seeing as much wear as the moussies (no surprise there) or even the 90s (that was a surprise!) so that tells me I need to stop getting them, or think much more carefully before adding one on again now.

The CSGMs are still in their first full year, so I don't have a lot of data, but since I got my first one last summer, I can see that they are going to see heavy year round use because they show up almost a frequently as the mousselines. And that makes sense. Where I work, the temperature is pretty much kept the same summer or winter. And in winter, that temp feels fine! And then outside is a no brainer to have a heavy scarf. But in summer, when your choice is wear a tank top outside or have a heat stroke, then go in where the temp is STILL 68F (just like it was mid-winter) regardless of the fact that it is 100F outside...well...you need at least a jacket over that tank top (and preferably a cashmere scarf!).

The complication here is (up to now) I only have had a picture record of when I took a pic for SOTD so it may not be showing the full numbers for my wearings. Also, in relation to the CPW, here's an easy "trick " I use in order to stretch my CPW downward faster. I will wear 2 scarves at once (I did today because it was cold and I wanted to wear a moussie, so I stuck a 70 under it for extra warmth) or I wear a gavroche under a CSGM to keep it from itching, and I am also in a position where I may change scarves during the day, which brings my CPW down again. I may wear one scarf to work then another if I go to a class in the evening so may actually wear 2 scarves in one day, but not take a pic both times so my actual number might be low.

Overall, I am liking keeping track of when I wear them, and it does not make me feel bad at all. In fact, looking at the overall spread, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job of rotating through things on a fairly consistent and even basis. There were very few scarves I have that saw less than 5 wears last year. And the few that aren't working for me (or I have possibly "moved on" from) are definitely showing up on my list as the "no wears", which I expected.

You must never get rid of that Phaeton, even if you only wear it once a year!
I'm surprised by the low numbers on your gavroche wears. I think of you as queen of the pocket square.

 

[Jbizzybeetle]

RAMBLE WARNING: My name is Jbizzy and it’s been 5 minutes since my last “commission” of scarf-aholia.
I have to start over since earning my 3-day chip.“

No disrespect meant. Just the first babbling thoughts entering my head after buying a grail shawl late Thursday afternoon, a SS2020 CLF Monday, committing to a SS2020 scarf ring Monday, and purchasing a Regarde Paris last Friday.

Sign of progress: sale of a scarf last night doesn’t prod me to go buy another, just thank my lucky stars for cash coming in.

Progress unseen was I thought of you guys, took several days, didn’t buy the first shawl offer or the second from a seller dropping price Twice, until the second seller dropped his price twice. At least I paid less than retail for a new one....small victory.

Habituation/Exposure/Desensitization therapy: I’m thinking this definitely helps. Example: @xincinsin mentioned—hopefully I interpret correctly—grail/rarity finds may be an exception to the anti-FOMO advice. My regular scrolling of auction sites keeps me aware of what really does come around regularly, almost boring, and I can wait for preferred CW/size, etc., VERSUS the pop-up, rarely seen and a decision “has” to be made even if the decision is “pass”.

Individual experience: We share so many scarfie interests, motivations in common, influenced by our deeply personal and familial experiences, which in turn influence our interpretations, responses, and advice to others. I really appreciate everyone Keeping that light and supportive.