Scarves Scarfaholics Anonymous - shopping and mental health

Do you feel in control of your scarf consumption or do you struggle a bit?

  • I am fully in control, for me this is simply a pleasurable hobby

    Votes: 62 34.3%
  • I only rarely feel like I may be buying (or think about buying) more than I want to

    Votes: 49 27.1%
  • I have a problem :D

    Votes: 70 38.7%

  • Total voters
    181

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@blydia,

My problem is I read tpf and look at some reseller sites after work to unwind, looking at beauty makes me feel calm (love museums as well), and here a lot of eye candy is provided.
This! I so relate to this statement as I do exactly the same thing.

You know you have a problem when you start to surf reseller sites and see a scarf that you have been hunting for, only to find you MIGHT already own that colorway, but aren't sure because you have so many. Insane.

I really need to download a wardrobe app to keep track.
 
Les Normands with the longboats with a sea dragon as prow is a really special scarf, a collector's item. I do like the historical scarves but they are becoming really scarce. "L'Hiver" (below) was readily available during the 80s but I hardly ever see it now.
The line between HS as fashion subject to Cost Per Wear (CPW) and HS as art is really blurry. If I bought one as an art piece -- an older HS scarf called "Geisha" comes to mind as a possibility -- I think it should be excluded from the CPW metric. It's special, it's particularly beautiful. Same with your Les Normands.


7435b5d9d101e23ffb06002da790e3a1.jpg
I’ve been considering a new version of FOMO to cover/exempt ...dare I say ”excuse” ....grails....perhaps FOMOOG...fear of missing out on grails?
Prefer MOFOG....Too cute? ....Missing out Fear on Grails...
@HoneyLocks relevant here because scrolling for relaxation led me to a grail yesterday and I fell off the wagon. I’m going to stop scrolling for joy and limit eBay exposure to my listings maintenance and (maybe someday again) sales.
At least until I pay for the new wiring harness for my Jeep thanks to a hungry rodent.
 
@blydia, thank you for opening this discussion, thanks to all the other ones for their input. I have been reading this discussion over the past few days and it gave me a lot to think about. There are several offers I passed on ever since. I will see later if I will regret that. But after getting into H at the beginning of 2015 I acquired about 100 scarves of all sizes. And I do like them all. But since my work attire is "hospital" and my life is "bicycle" there are not too many occasions to dress up besides conferences. But I don't care, I have beater scarves for cycling, wear the not so graily ones for grocery shopping. They bring me joy, I overhauled me wardrobe and appearance, I dress better since I got into H. And I do not miss the money spent (but oh yes, I got desensitized considering the prices!). Not needing a car makes life and finances easier. I am done hunting grails, the current season does not tempt me, last season I only got an "Index palmarum".
Do I need these scarves? No! But this is the definition on luxury: Do not need, but gives me a smile.

My problem is I read tpf and look at some reseller sites after work to unwind, looking at beauty makes me feel calm (love museums as well), and here a lot of eye candy is provided.
So far so good.
But every now and then I see a nice design at a CW I like at a good price. I like scarves that are not pristine, those get worn much more than the grails. And then I start pondering: should I spend money on this piece? Is it worth it? Do I need it? Will it make my heart sing? Will it get worn? (I bought "Les Normands" purely to have it, see recent post at SOTD) Then I start to add the item on a list or "like" it, make price offers. And then I feel relieved if they get declined :shocked:. I passed on getting a "Merveilles de vapeur" on VC because scrutinizing the photos it seemed to have many color runs from washing. I hate unpacking a preloved scarf that is in much worse condition than advertised. Thanks to this forum I got rather good at restoring them, but dye transfer :tdown:.
I am by far not as excited as the first few times I unboxed one. "Chasing the dragon" somebody named it.

I agree so much with the statement "You pay with time": This scarf is for the weekend I worked without a break!
But it is not only the time spent at work earning the money, it is the time spent thinking about what to get, whether to get something or not. Emotional and thought energy that could be used so much better.
Feeling relieved after deciding not to get something was an eye opener for me.

My colleagues at work are bragging about all the things they abstain from during lent: no caffeine, no sweets, no alcohol... Maybe I should try "No reseller sites, not buying any more H"
More time for reading, journaling, learning for a new hobby...

So, thanks again for all the input!
I think you showcase perfectly here that it's not the buying scarves that's the problem here, it's the cases where you feel sucked into something, compelled to do something and then give you guilt and not pleasure. I have had the very same thing when I was relieved of having my offers declined. I have also bought scarves that weren't on my list because they were great deals (like the beige yellow de la mer au ciel) - and guess what. Sold it again. I think the reseller scouring is so addictive because it's this hunt - you never know what you're gonna find and you might miss out on that once in a while grail popping up. And for some that may be a wonderful passtime and a fun hobby but for others this may suck them in
 
it’s interesting to watch the poll change - as this thread gets older, more “in control” ppl show up-I’m guessing that one sign that they are in control is that they aren’t on this forum so much that they saw the poll right away :biggrin:

I noticed this too, being one of the “ in control” that posted in the beginning. Since it’s weekend I have more time to browse on the internet for scarves/shawls I’m missing in my collection. I have been thinking what has prevented me so far from slippering into “ not in control” mode. I’m definitely in the “ orange hole”. I haven’t bought from other luxury brands in almost 10 years, so I want to share which factors I believe make me stay “ in control”.

For some designs I would gladly accept any cw but for most I’m very selective and I have the patience to wait. If buying vintage, I’m also selective when it comes to the condition of the scarf. It took a long time for me to take the step and buy a vintage scarf. It happened after I bought a vintage croc bag in excellent condition, that purchase pushed me further into the “ orange hole”, before this I could only buy in boutiques. Then there is the price factor, many of the scarves I like can be found on the market but for a price I’m not willing to pay. I have never bought anything on ebay and I’m not really ready/willing to take that step. Finally I find many sites in the US that are considered reputable and have a good selection but ordering something from the US has complications when you live in Europe. The final preventing factor is that the space in my closet where I like to display my scarves in their boxes, is limited. I have a separate cabinet for my H bags and I know a Japanese Tansu, kimono cabinet, would be the next piece of furniture to house my collection if I continue buying scarves and shawls.

Currently I find myself interested in exceptional scarves. I like my bags and scarves/shawls to be more exclusive, because the basics are already there, meaning I might in fact currently be on a more dangerous path while trying to stay “in control”.
 
I noticed this too, being one of the “ in control” that posted in the beginning. Since it’s weekend I have more time to browse on the internet for scarves/shawls I’m missing in my collection. I have been thinking what has prevented me so far from slippering into “ not in control” mode. I’m definitely in the “ orange hole”. I haven’t bought from other luxury brands in almost 10 years, so I want to share which factors I believe make me stay “ in control”.

For some designs I would gladly accept any cw but for most I’m very selective and I have the patience to wait. If buying vintage, I’m also selective when it comes to the condition of the scarf. It took a long time for me to take the step and buy a vintage scarf. It happened after I bought a vintage croc bag in excellent condition, that purchase pushed me further into the “ orange hole”, before this I could only buy in boutiques. Then there is the price factor, many of the scarves I like can be found on the market but for a price I’m not willing to pay. I have never bought anything on ebay and I’m not really ready/willing to take that step. Finally I find many sites in the US that are considered reputable and have a good selection but ordering something from the US has complications when you live in Europe. The final preventing factor is that the space in my closet where I like to display my scarves in their boxes, is limited. I have a separate cabinet for my H bags and I know a Japanese Tansu, kimono cabinet, would be the next piece of furniture to house my collection if I continue buying scarves and shawls.

Currently I find myself interested in exceptional scarves. I like my bags and scarves/shawls to be more exclusive, because the basics are already there, meaning I might in fact currently be on a more dangerous path while trying to stay “in control”.
Thank you so much for sharing! I am very interested to hear how and why you have not shopped any other luxury brand in 1 years!! Are you no longer tempted at all, or do you hold yourself back simply because you would rather spend your money at H? I am intrigued but do not want to derail this thread. I think our journeys are similar but I am quite far behind you and haven’t sworn off other luxury brands fully yet.
 
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Thank you so much for sharing! I am very interested to hear how and why you have not shopped any other luxury brand in 1 years!! Are you no longer tempted at all, or do you hold yourself back simply because you would rather spend your money at H? I am intrigued but do not want to derail this thread. I think our journeys are similar but I am quite far behind you and haven’t sworn off other luxury brands fully yet.

Luxury brands like C, LV haven’t tempted me in years after I started buying Hermès. Iconic jewellery brands are an exception, but I have also bought nice jewellery from H. There is no H boutique in my country so usually I take a 3hr flight in order to shop Hermès. Having a vacation and being able to buy from a H boutique is luxury for me. I like my SAs and how welcome I feel every time I visit my homestore. The quality and exclusiveness is why my money goes to H. Holds value better as well. I’m not going to leave my “orange hole” in near future :)
 
Time to renew this thread as I am reallllllllleeee itching to buy something! Anyone else chomping at the “bit”?

Surely, my evil imaginary twin whispers, the constant assault of bad news means I should comfort myself with something very pretty—maybe even a bag, although my second thought on bags is how much money they take from the “scarf fund.”

The good news is the scrolling and “computer window” shopping is expanded to ALL the H items, further desensitizing, because after all, there is just too much wonderfulness out there to ever afford it all. :biggrin:

On the other hand, I shopped and bought new running boards and steps for the Jeep. Cost: 1 new 90cm.
 
funny you should revive it right now. because yesterday I failed. totally pulled the trigger on a whim, because I was in a moment of frustration over the work from home situation and my team not communicating properly, just having received the bonus payment this week and then at that time hit with a newsletter from Luxury shops, which i obviously forgot to unsubscribe. GRRRRr

anyways. I scratched the itch (Sous l'égide de mars CSGM preloved) and the guilt doesn't feel good - maybe use that as anti-motivation?
also I feel absolutely horrible for indulging when other people are losing their jobs.
not in a great place today mentally. Maybe I should go meditate

I wish you strength! :heart:
stay safe!
 
funny you should revive it right now. because yesterday I failed. totally pulled the trigger on a whim, because I was in a moment of frustration over the work from home situation and my team not communicating properly, just having received the bonus payment this week and then at that time hit with a newsletter from Luxury shops, which i obviously forgot to unsubscribe. GRRRRr

anyways. I scratched the itch (Sous l'égide de mars CSGM preloved) and the guilt doesn't feel good - maybe use that as anti-motivation?
also I feel absolutely horrible for indulging when other people are losing their jobs.
not in a great place today mentally. Maybe I should go meditate

I wish you strength! :heart:
stay safe!
ugh, yeah, having felt that post-buy guilt before, sometimes I can forgive myself and if don’t really love the piece, I rehome immediately. Penance paid:angel:
 
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Time to renew this thread as I am reallllllllleeee itching to buy something! Anyone else chomping at the “bit”?

Surely, my evil imaginary twin whispers, the constant assault of bad news means I should comfort myself with something very pretty—maybe even a bag, although my second thought on bags is how much money they take from the “scarf fund.”

The good news is the scrolling and “computer window” shopping is expanded to ALL the H items, further desensitizing, because after all, there is just too much wonderfulness out there to ever afford it all. :biggrin:

On the other hand, I shopped and bought new running boards and steps for the Jeep. Cost: 1 new 90cm.
I am feeling the itch but I'm spending money with local stores (bought my daughter a bath toy from a local kid's store, little stuffed bunny from a local artisan who normally sells on Etsy, a sweater from a local clothing store) and also getting carry out from local restaurants. I feel it's money well spent, no guilt attached because I'm supporting people's livelihoods, and I get a little something fun out of it!
 
funny you should revive it right now. because yesterday I failed. totally pulled the trigger on a whim, because I was in a moment of frustration over the work from home situation and my team not communicating properly, just having received the bonus payment this week and then at that time hit with a newsletter from Luxury shops, which i obviously forgot to unsubscribe. GRRRRr

anyways. I scratched the itch (Sous l'égide de mars CSGM preloved) and the guilt doesn't feel good - maybe use that as anti-motivation?
also I feel absolutely horrible for indulging when other people are losing their jobs.
not in a great place today mentally. Maybe I should go meditate

I wish you strength! :heart:
stay safe!
I don't think that spending money, if you can, is a bad thing right now! I understand your feelings of immediate remorse but it can only do good things for the economy to spend where we can. Just my opinion! But don't feel too bad about it. Three days ago I felt so down I barely wanted to get out of bed except to play with my daughter. So I know how it is. Since then, I've decided to get up, workout, shower, put on regular outside clothes, wake up my daughter, feed her breakfast, go outside, etc. Our morning routine has helped me immensely, and I still indulge by spending where I can and feel it will help.
 
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funny you should revive it right now. because yesterday I failed. totally pulled the trigger on a whim, because I was in a moment of frustration over the work from home situation and my team not communicating properly, just having received the bonus payment this week and then at that time hit with a newsletter from Luxury shops, which i obviously forgot to unsubscribe. GRRRRr

anyways. I scratched the itch (Sous l'égide de mars CSGM preloved) and the guilt doesn't feel good - maybe use that as anti-motivation?
also I feel absolutely horrible for indulging when other people are losing their jobs.
not in a great place today mentally. Maybe I should go meditate

I wish you strength! :heart:
stay safe!

Try to think of it as Cordeleire and Rhl suggested, abstaining if you don't have to to doesn't actually change things for those people, it could actually make it worse, it's not a bad thing to keep the money circulating (again if there's not psychological or financial problem).

The scarf ties so well, so congratulations from me, and if it was the white/green/black cw, well then, how could you not? Totally irresistible!!!!
 
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