Hi - just read the posts to catch up on what happened today. So off you go tomorrow with DH - great idea to bring along moral support. It always makes things easier and I am a lawyer and I feel that way too!! Remember, you are in the right - you brought in the bag and they not only did not try to sell it immediately, they sent it off somewhere for refurbishing/spa treatment and apparently a hardware change without your knowledge or permission. The spa treatment is one thing, but changing the hardware is a fundamental change in the bag - if she can't sell it and you end up taking it back, you have a different bag. This is not okay. And it is DEFINITELY not okay for her to even think of charging you for ANY of that.
I saw mention in someone else's post that they think they know the shop and understand that the owner often takes bags somewhere other than H for spa treatment. This is also not okay. The last thing you, or the subsequent purchaser of your bag, needs is to be told by H that a non-authorized person did something to the bag.
I know that the thought of listing on eBay can be daunting - I have the same big box of scarves to sell that I've had for - well, more than a year! But at this point I think the only way to be sure what is happening and to know that you are being dealt with in an honest and forthright manner is to get your bag back tomorrow - without charge.
And I do think you should share this situation with the mods. I understand not wanting to flame someone on the board, but since this seller is apparently recommended by TPF, it is important that a complete and accurate picture be presented.
Good luck tomorrow - we are all cheering for you!!