I could not agree more.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
If she asks..."You CUT his hair, I'm CUTting you off!" It IS the principal of the thing...that she has the audacity to think she could alter him w/out your permission.
*my Mother In Law Did Something Horrible To Me*
- Thread starter socalgrl86
- Start date
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
If she asks..."You CUT his hair, I'm CUTting you off!" It IS the principal of the thing...that she has the audacity to think she could alter him w/out your permission.
Just remember the baby in all of this. If he loves his grandmother and she loves him then don't keep him away from her...just limit their time together. In this crazy world we are living in it would be best if we connected with our families better. Children do need their extended family members.
We may have weird family members but those people are still family no matter what. Unless she is physically or mentally abusive to your child I think you can get past it. I don't count cutting your sons hair as abusive at all...I think she overstepped her boundaries..certainly and I think she needs to be talked to about it in an adult manner by your DH. She shouldn't just be cut off completely......I think that's going to be upsetting for your child..particularly if he has a good relationship with her...
We may have weird family members but those people are still family no matter what. Unless she is physically or mentally abusive to your child I think you can get past it. I don't count cutting your sons hair as abusive at all...I think she overstepped her boundaries..certainly and I think she needs to be talked to about it in an adult manner by your DH. She shouldn't just be cut off completely......I think that's going to be upsetting for your child..particularly if he has a good relationship with her...
I am so sorry to hear this happened to you! She was completely disrespectful to you--intentionally. Your DH really needs to say something to her as well to show her that he feels the same. 
I would've been extremely mad and upset also!!!!
Your son still looks adorable. Hope it will grow back curly again!
I would've been extremely mad and upset also!!!! Your son still looks adorable. Hope it will grow back curly again!
I would have a talk with her...with your husband backing you up. Her actions are completely uncalled for, and if continued could cause a divide between your son and you. Simply put, this is your child and ANY decisions regarding him should be made by you or run by you prior to happening. If she can't seem to grasp that, then yes, I'd cut her off. Sure, having his Gma in his life would be nice, but if she's undermining your decisions, she's hurting things more than helping.
^^I agree.
Newgrlontheblock-My son rarely sees her (about 2-3 times a month) and even then he runs from her scared. He doesnt like hugging her or even being around her and at first i assumed it could be because he just missed him mommy or something or maybe because he didnt really know her. I think i was wrong though. Here's why:
about 2 years ago (when he was about 12 months old) I left him at my MIL's house for a day because I had school and my DH had to work. I pick him up in the evening and put him to bed and assumed he was ok even though he seemed really cranky. The next morning my parents checked up on him as soon as he woke up and they called me panicked (i was at work) because he had 3 lines of bruises on his right arm that went around his arm (like if someone had grabbed his arm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hard) and it was black and blue. No one had grabbed him after he came home from my MIL's house and he's not a crazy sleeper so I knew it had to come from something that happened that day at my MIL's. I confronted my DH and he asked her and she said she had no idea what I was talking about and for all I know, my mom could have accidentally grabbed him too hard. I dont care how "hard" you grab a child, it NEVER leaves his arms black and blue!! So for about a year after I didnt allow her to watch him alone and now that I was starting to build up her trust again, she completely loses it.
I started looking back for clues of past behavior from her towards my son and there are definently things that are worth mentioning so you can see what kind of woman this is. When my son was in the NICU for being born a preemie, she went 3 times to see him for a total of 5 minutes. He was in there for 3 MONTHS! She refuses to acknowledge at church and with people that she has grandchildren because we werent married (We were teens) when we had him. She wont allow her younger children to tell their friends that they have nephews. 2 weeks ago for his birthday party which was held at her home, I gave her a stack of 20 invitations to give out to her neighbors and I asked her if she did and she said "Oh yes! I gave them all out!"....well as the party is going (After only like 3 families show up) i found ALL the invitations in her drawer...she lied to me. I guess im just so tired of her being ashamed of her grandchildren because of what her religious friends will think. I am tired of giving her 2nd chacnes and always giving her the benefit of the doubt. So I finally decided that we will be only seeing her for holidays and that is it. I dont think my kids need someone like her in their life. And if she has any problems with any of it, im sure my dad will be MORE THAN HAPPY to give her a piece of his mind.
Newgrlontheblock-My son rarely sees her (about 2-3 times a month) and even then he runs from her scared. He doesnt like hugging her or even being around her and at first i assumed it could be because he just missed him mommy or something or maybe because he didnt really know her. I think i was wrong though. Here's why:
about 2 years ago (when he was about 12 months old) I left him at my MIL's house for a day because I had school and my DH had to work. I pick him up in the evening and put him to bed and assumed he was ok even though he seemed really cranky. The next morning my parents checked up on him as soon as he woke up and they called me panicked (i was at work) because he had 3 lines of bruises on his right arm that went around his arm (like if someone had grabbed his arm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hard) and it was black and blue. No one had grabbed him after he came home from my MIL's house and he's not a crazy sleeper so I knew it had to come from something that happened that day at my MIL's. I confronted my DH and he asked her and she said she had no idea what I was talking about and for all I know, my mom
could have accidentally grabbed him too hard. I dont care how "hard" you grab a child, it NEVER leaves his arms black and blue!! So for about a year after I didnt allow her to watch him alone and now that I was starting to build up her trust again, she completely loses it.I started looking back for clues of past behavior from her towards my son and there are definently things that are worth mentioning so you can see what kind of woman this is. When my son was in the NICU for being born a preemie, she went 3 times to see him for a total of 5 minutes. He was in there for 3 MONTHS! She refuses to acknowledge at church and with people that she has grandchildren because we werent married (We were teens) when we had him. She wont allow her younger children to tell their friends that they have nephews. 2 weeks ago for his birthday party which was held at her home, I gave her a stack of 20 invitations to give out to her neighbors and I asked her if she did and she said "Oh yes! I gave them all out!"....well as the party is going (After only like 3 families show up) i found ALL the invitations in her drawer...she lied to me. I guess im just so tired of her being ashamed of her grandchildren because of what her religious friends will think. I am tired of giving her 2nd chacnes and always giving her the benefit of the doubt. So I finally decided that we will be only seeing her for holidays and that is it. I dont think my kids need someone like her in their life. And if she has any problems with any of it, im sure my dad will be MORE THAN HAPPY to give her a piece of his mind.
Well, the good thing is that it's only hair and it will grow back. But the unacceptable thing is that it was NOT your MIL's place to do that! This is not an issue about hair it's an issue about control and if it were my child, I would never leave him alone with her again. I would tello her in no uncertain terms that she overstepped her bounds and that due to her behavior her access to your son will be limited.
And then, I'd grow his hair down to his little tiny fannie and traips him around her every day!!!!!!
And then, I'd grow his hair down to his little tiny fannie and traips him around her every day!!!!!!
Your son is very cute but I can see how much you loved his longer hair in the first picture because my son had longer hair too when he was young.
You have every right to be mad, mad is being polite in my mind.
If it was me I would NEVER ever let my child be alone with that woman and her husband.................no way ever. I would have your husband back you 100% on this, not having him sneak the child to see his parents behind your back (that could happen).
I would tell her why, set rules of what she can and can't do around your child. Only let him see her with you there. I am serious about this. I think this is so disrespectful on her part. I myself wouldn't want to talk to a person who did that.
When my son was little (say 2-2 1/2) my parents wanted to take him. I did not trust them to babysit at all. I would never allow my child in a car with them and would not want them to take him anywhere. They knew my rules and wishes. I felt it might have been OK to drop him off at their 2nd home (but felt it was too unsafe being on the water). So what do they do in talking to my husband. They say they will take my son to the mall (so he could run away from them) and I would never know about it.........this meant they would be driving with him in a car against my wishes too.....
Right-my husband will allow that. (I don't think so).
So needless to say he never stayed with them without me being there too. He did stay with my sister and them when I had my second baby but I had nobody else to watch my son.......and I knew my sister would honor my wishes, at least I pray she did, I never really know????
You have every right to be mad, mad is being polite in my mind.
If it was me I would NEVER ever let my child be alone with that woman and her husband.................no way ever. I would have your husband back you 100% on this, not having him sneak the child to see his parents behind your back (that could happen).
I would tell her why, set rules of what she can and can't do around your child. Only let him see her with you there. I am serious about this. I think this is so disrespectful on her part. I myself wouldn't want to talk to a person who did that.
When my son was little (say 2-2 1/2) my parents wanted to take him. I did not trust them to babysit at all. I would never allow my child in a car with them and would not want them to take him anywhere. They knew my rules and wishes. I felt it might have been OK to drop him off at their 2nd home (but felt it was too unsafe being on the water). So what do they do in talking to my husband. They say they will take my son to the mall (so he could run away from them) and I would never know about it.........this meant they would be driving with him in a car against my wishes too.....
Right-my husband will allow that. (I don't think so).
So needless to say he never stayed with them without me being there too. He did stay with my sister and them when I had my second baby but I had nobody else to watch my son.......and I knew my sister would honor my wishes, at least I pray she did, I never really know????
Based on the "bruising" incident in the past and the unwelcome haircut, I'd cut her off completely. No holidays, no nothing.
And don't make it dramatic, either.
Just stop calling, stop going over there.
Silence can deafening.
Actions or lack thereof always speak louder than words. She sounds like a horribly toxic person and your son will better off without her in his life.
And don't make it dramatic, either.
Just stop calling, stop going over there.
Silence can deafening.
Actions or lack thereof always speak louder than words. She sounds like a horribly toxic person and your son will better off without her in his life.