Maintaining an H relationship

[papertiger]

Please focus on the title of this thread rather than each other, TY

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[kathydep]

Yes I know this is generally how things work but I have opened my options up to many colours as well. Why would my SA promise me a bag and then follow up by saying she has no idea what’s coming in? She’s the one getting my hopes up by making these promises then never following through. Not just one time but several times over the past 6-8 months.

Believe me, this has happened to me as well. My SA ended up offering me an SO because I have been waiting for 7 months for a bag and I was constantly getting the run around. Hope everything works out for you!

 

[Coconuts40]

There were many times I “suspected” her lying or placating me but had no proof… the black B coming out in front of me was like a big sign finally proving it! I agree that I should have the candid convo before moving on to someone else but I do fear the confrontation a little. I shop at stores like H for pleasure and enjoyment but this has become just sad and frustrating. Sometimes I feel silly feeling sad that my SA won’t offer me a bag but I have invested a lot of time and effort (along with the money) into shopping with her. Just 2 weeks ago she again promised I would have a bag before Xmas so we popped in yesterday since I was in the area and she changed her story again saying she has no idea what’s coming in. I think some time in January I will have to lay my cards on the table as I’m tired of playing the game.

I can completely understand the discomfort in these types of discussions. But consider it a conversation and not a confrontation per se. Honestly, I would have this conversation with her and state your observations. Perhaps you can end the conversation with your SA by asking her if she thinks it's time that you should be getting another SA? This way she might step up to the plate and realize you're strongly considering. Do this sooner than later and then move on by either receiving an offer by your SA, or heading towards getting a new SA. If you stay with your existing SA and she says you may not get the bag of your desires, ask if you can place a SO. I think her response will tell you a lot about your relationship. If you decide to get a new SA explain to your new SA why you switched and what your intentions are.

I like to confront things head on, and this can be done in a very civilized manner, where no one needs to be mean, rude in any way. Express your concerns in a sincere way.

 

[Yoshi1296]

Thank you for saying that Yoshi, I started typing that too but I wasn't sure if I was going too far. Again terrible I would never work with someone who said that. I would have walked right out of the store.

Same here. She should be fired for saying something like that. In other companies, this wouldn't be tolerated, Hermes shouldn't either.

Yeah I was really surprised when she said it. Every time I asked for pink items she played it off and eventually told me that. The SA is Asian herself so I thought she was just telling me that her Asian clientele are purchasing all the pink items but the longer I thought about the worse it felt because it seemed like I am viewed lesser and would never be offered those pieces.



Thank you I had wondered if it was racist because it definitely felt very off. Maybe that’s why I am never offered anything by her?

I would not be surprised. Many stores treat other differently due to the way they look. It is very sad.

 

[Luvbolide]

Thanks for your advice. Glad I’m not the only one who has experienced something like this. My hubs has been telling me to switch SA for a while but I kept thinking “well my profile is complete so after this one offers me a bag I will move on” but now I’m having no such luck! It’s crazy how political this stuff seems to be and I’ve felt there is a lot of favouritism at my home store. Thinking back I remember asking her for a Rose Azalee bag when the colour was popping out everywhere and she straight up told me I would never get a pink B or K because I’m not Asian. There is one new male SA who seems super friendly and I feel I may hit it off with him best. If I become his new client should I tell him why I left my previous SA?

First, I am floored that she actually said that you will never get X because you are not Asian. Are in the US? A racist comment like that is absolutely outrageous.

If I were you, I would talk briefly to the new SA that you like. I worry that if he is new he might be afraid to take someone on, particularly if your current SA makes the situation tense.

Or better yet, what about talking to the SM? If you do, I would approach it like a done deal, not asking permission. I would not go off on your SA, but would tell the SM that you are increasingly unhappy with your SA and that you intend to make a change to X, but before doing so, you want to confirm that your purchase history/profile will move to the new SA. I always thought that your purchase history went by boutique, not be SA specifically, though I don't know that for sure. I would also be inclined to say that you have been frustrated by some of the things your SA has said, including the "no pink B" and the black B story. If the SM is worth anything, they should offer to streamline your transition to a new SA. Hopefully the SM will also have a bag for you in the near future. They should also discipline your SA for what she has said. There should be no place at H (or anywhere else) for someone openly making racist remarks period.

Good luck!! The transition may not be easy to do, but you will be soooo happy when it is done. It will be great to look forward to dropping in to H, rather than dreading a frustrating encounter.

 

[tramcaro]

Yes I know this is generally how things work but I have opened my options up to many colours as well. Why would my SA promise me a bag and then follow up by saying she has no idea what’s coming in? She’s the one getting my hopes up by making these promises then never following through. Not just one time but several times over the past 6-8 months.

I think that as @kathydep mentioned, the bag may arrive but it gets allocated to a different SA with more seniority. I think SAs have to face a lot of stresses competing for bags for their clients. SAs also don’t want to hurt their clients’ feelings because there may be other VIPs on the list waiting for that bag. And they may not know in advance which bags are sent from Paris, although they’re ordered by the store.

I think that a relationship goes both way, having faith in your SA may take a lot of patience, but I’m sure loyalty and kindness will be returned. I have waited for each of my bags for a long time, and it has felt like eternity, but my SA has always come true with her promises.

After all, these are bags, beautiful and expensive, but still bags. I think your bag will find you at the right moment.

 

[MsHermesAU]

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[CSbaglvr]

Believe me, this has happened to me as well. My SA ended up offering me an SO because I have been waiting for 7 months for a bag and I was constantly getting the run around. Hope everything works out for you!

Thanks! My SA has previously told me that my country does not do SO bags (not sure whether this is true or not) - but hoping something makes its way to me eventually

 

[CSbaglvr]

I can completely understand the discomfort in these types of discussions. But consider it a conversation and not a confrontation per se. Honestly, I would have this conversation with her and state your observations. Perhaps you can end the conversation with your SA by asking her if she thinks it's time that you should be getting another SA? This way she might step up to the plate and realize you're strongly considering. Do this sooner than later and then move on by either receiving an offer by your SA, or heading towards getting a new SA. If you stay with your existing SA and she says you may not get the bag of your desires, ask if you can place a SO. I think her response will tell you a lot about your relationship. If you decide to get a new SA explain to your new SA why you switched and what your intentions are.

I like to confront things head on, and this can be done in a very civilized manner, where no one needs to be mean, rude in any way. Express your concerns in a sincere way.

Yes that is a good way to think of it. I never want to be rude or mean to anyone, even when I’m upset. But some honest dialogue definitely needs to happen at this point. I am curious to see how she responds as that will definitely show me a lot. I am generally a straight forward person but my SA always seems to dance around questions (or lie) instead of just telling me like it is. I can handle the truth, it’d be refreshing to hear it for once. After my next visit I will report back how the conversation goes.

 

[MsHermesAU]

There were many times I “suspected” her lying or placating me but had no proof… the black B coming out in front of me was like a big sign finally proving it! I agree that I should have the candid convo before moving on to someone else but I do fear the confrontation a little. I shop at stores like H for pleasure and enjoyment but this has become just sad and frustrating. Sometimes I feel silly feeling sad that my SA won’t offer me a bag but I have invested a lot of time and effort (along with the money) into shopping with her. Just 2 weeks ago she again promised I would have a bag before Xmas so we popped in yesterday since I was in the area and she changed her story again saying she has no idea what’s coming in. I think some time in January I will have to lay my cards on the table as I’m tired of playing the game.

You are absolutely not alone. The SM of my store has blatantly lied to my face several times. It is so bizarre and I’m embarrassed to admit, quite hurtful. It makes no sense at all Just don’t let the situation get you down, it isn’t worth your sadness. I wish you the best of luck

 

[CSbaglvr]

First, I am floored that she actually said that you will never get X because you are not Asian. Are in the US? A racist comment like that is absolutely outrageous.

If I were you, I would talk briefly to the new SA that you like. I worry that if he is new he might be afraid to take someone on, particularly if your current SA makes the situation tense.

Or better yet, what about talking to the SM? If you do, I would approach it like a done deal, not asking permission. I would not go off on your SA, but would tell the SM that you are increasingly unhappy with your SA and that you intend to make a change to X, but before doing so, you want to confirm that your purchase history/profile will move to the new SA. I always thought that your purchase history went by boutique, not be SA specifically, though I don't know that for sure. I would also be inclined to say that you have been frustrated by some of the things your SA has said, including the "no pink B" and the black B story. If the SM is worth anything, they should offer to streamline your transition to a new SA. Hopefully the SM will also have a bag for you in the near future. They should also discipline your SA for what she has said. There should be no place at H (or anywhere else) for someone openly making racist remarks period.

Good luck!! The transition may not be easy to do, but you will be soooo happy when it is done. It will be great to look forward to dropping in to H, rather than dreading a frustrating encounter.

I am not in the US, just a little more north. I’d definitely like to chat to my potential new SA before committing to make sure I feel like we are compatible. He’s come up and asked if we were being helped during the times I was waiting around for my current SA - my husband mentioned that nobody else has ever done that before and it seemed like a positive sign. He’s also the friendliest person I seem to encounter in the store these days.

I know with the politics at my store that if I speak to the SM my relationship with my SA will definitely be over. I think that’s something I may be more inclined to do if I get a negative response or more of the run around after the candid conversation I am planning to have next visit. I had to resort to the SM when I had an issue with my K 2 years ago and it definitely made things very tense with my SA for a while after.

Thanks for the kind words and advice. I know something has to change so H can remain my happy place. I love the brand so much, it’s a shame that some of the games the SA’s play can ruin the experience.

 

[CSbaglvr]

I think that as @kathydep mentioned, the bag may arrive but it gets allocated to a different SA with more seniority. I think SAs have to face a lot of stresses competing for bags for their clients. SAs also don’t want to hurt their clients’ feelings because there may be other VIPs on the list waiting for that bag. And they may not know in advance which bags are sent from Paris, although they’re ordered by the store.

I think that a relationship goes both way, having faith in your SA may take a lot of patience, but I’m sure loyalty and kindness will be returned. I have waited for each of my bags for a long time, and it has felt like eternity, but my SA has always come true with her promises.

After all, these are bags, beautiful and expensive, but still bags. I think your bag will find you at the right moment.

VIP or not I think if an SA is going to promise a client a bag in a certain time frame that they should follow through and offer something. The easiest way to hurt feelings is promise something and then not deliver. I have been promised several times and 8+ months later still waiting - literally not one offer on anything. I would rather my SA straight up tell me I am lower on the list or she is not sure when I will get something. At least that way I don’t start getting my hopes up for it. I can handle the honest answer, and feel almost disrepected that I don’t even get that.

I do think I have been a good client to my SA. I have purchased a lot, am friendly and shop with her exclusively. Not convinced I am getting enough in return to justify continuing the relationship.

 

[CSbaglvr]

You are absolutely not alone. The SM of my store has blatantly lied to my face several times. It is so bizarre and I’m embarrassed to admit, quite hurtful. It makes no sense at all Just don’t let the situation get you down, it isn’t worth your sadness. I wish you the best of luck

It is oddly hurtful isn’t it! I never thought a store I love shopping at would be able to make me feel that way. Glad to know I am not alone at least. If it wasn’t for these bags, that are “just bags” these tactics would not even exist.

I really appreciate your kind words, thank you!

 

[Lisa-SH]

VIP or not I think if an SA is going to promise a client a bag in a certain time frame that they should follow through and offer something. The easiest way to hurt feelings is promise something and then not deliver. I have been promised several times and 8+ months later still waiting - literally not one offer on anything. I would rather my SA straight up tell me I am lower on the list or she is not sure when I will get something. At least that way I don’t start getting my hopes up for it. I can handle the honest answer, and feel almost disrepected that I don’t even get that.

I do think I have been a good client to my SA. I have purchased a lot, am friendly and shop with her exclusively. Not convinced I am getting enough in return to justify continuing the relationship.

Agree. Even though the competition of all customers trying to buy non-B/K/C is high - especially in Toronto Canada, thus the SA has to allocate/award the "candy" (Birkin/Kelly) to the high score customer, if those customers have been spent $$$ in the same time frame, that the SA would prefer giving the bag to the customer whom had spent $100,000, or $55,000 on diamond/gold jewelry/cashmere outwear/whole set of China, rather than customer only spend $15,000 or only $20,000 in past year. That is understandable, as long as the customer was not been promised.

 

[Carrierae]

Thanks! My SA has previously told me that my country does not do SO bags (not sure whether this is true or not) - but hoping something makes its way to me eventually

This could be true or partially true. I’m from the US and found out it’s been 2 years since my local store did an SO. I just assumed they were regular and they’re not.

Seriously, this makes my heart ache for you. I’ve been very fortunate where I have a great relationship with my SA over a small window of time so it makes me very sad to hear these things because they do happen. I could see getting very disheartened if I had to wait that long.

You should not be treated like this. I would have an honest talk with her first, and hopefully, she can deliver. In the meantime, I would try to chit chat with other SAs each time you pop in and see if there’s one you can connect with...that way, the manager doesn’t connect you with a random person if this relationship fails, and you don’t have the sigma of being a difficult customer (when that’s not the case at all.)

After some of those comments, I don’t know if I could work with someone like that regularly. I’m the type that goes to a new salon if I really need to change hairstylists so I don’t know what I would do with only one H store nearby. [emoji85] Just stay kind. If it needs to go to the manager, just ensure that this is personality driven (miscommunication) and not because they didn’t deliver. I try to be empathetic to both sides when troubleshooting issues because I think it helps with minimizing the need to get defensive.

 

[CSbaglvr]

This could be true or partially true. I’m from the US and found out it’s been 2 years since my local store did an SO. I just assumed they were regular and they’re not.

Seriously, this makes my heart ache for you. I’ve been very fortunate where I have a great relationship with my SA over a small window of time so it makes me very sad to hear these things because they do happen. I could see getting very disheartened if I had to wait that long.

You should not be treated like this. I would have an honest talk with her first, and hopefully, she can deliver. In the meantime, I would try to chit chat with other SAs each time you pop in and see if there’s one you can connect with...that way, the manager doesn’t connect you with a random person if this relationship fails, and you don’t have the sigma of being a difficult customer (when that’s not the case at all.)

After some of those comments, I don’t know if I could work with someone like that regularly. I’m the type that goes to a new salon if I really need to change hairstylists so I don’t know what I would do with only one H store nearby. [emoji85] Just stay kind. If it needs to go to the manager, just ensure that this is personality driven (miscommunication) and not because they didn’t deliver. I try to be empathetic to both sides when troubleshooting issues because I think it helps with minimizing the need to get defensive.

Yes I am hoping our candid conversation will lead to a bag offer or some closure/resolution to the situation at least. I know I have put up with more than I should have because I have been keen for a bag and know some of these games come with the territory of H. But I am very disappointed overall in how things have unraveled. I wanted to get some input on the situation before making any decisions because it helps me gain some perspective. And I think that if I do end up talking to SM I should definitely minimize the reason being no bag delivery. I don’t want a bad stigma for any future dealings (if there even are any).