Maintaining an H relationship

[papertiger]

Please focus on the title of this thread rather than each other, TY

If you find it very hard to ignore certain people, please feel free in adding them to your 'Ignore' list.

For advice on how to obtain a B/K/C please go to the reading room in the Reading Room The Newbie's HOW DO I GET A BIRKIN (or other bag) Reading Room

For advice on how to shop at your local store please do a search in Hermes Shopping sub-forum and look for your store/region/country.

 

[jenayb]

Sorry I had to chime in here with probably an unpopular opinion: and this is not directed to any one person. I honestly don't see anything wrong with someone asking for an SA contact. We can only assume someone wants to 'leapfrog' or get an advantage or ingratiate themselves...but it's just that: an ASSUMPTION. Lets face it, don't we all do a bit of that in our personal and professional lives anyway? Don't we try to make a good first impression to get offered 'something' in return, whether tangible or intangible? In a job interview, you are on your best behavior and dress appropriately in hopes of a job offer; on a first date you wear makeup and a nice outfit in hopes the person will like you; I've read some ladies go into H dressed in Hermès from head to toe...in hopes of impresseing the SA enough to score a bag offer. The list goes on and on. Those who say they don't do, or haven't at some point done, ANY of the above would be lying.

Maybe they genuinely want to know who we feel are nice amd helpful (since we all know there can be some trifling and rude and stuck up luxury SAs [there's entire threads dedicated to bad shopping experiences]). I'd take it as a compliment if a stranger trusts my judgment enough to recommend an SA to them.

To your point, if I am unfamiliar with a new city or the people or the "behaviors" there...then why not ask some kind folks here for help. I liken it to asking people's suggestions on a nice restaurant or hotel or museum or things to do in the city. As long as the SA is fine with it, and you feel comfortable sharing. No harm done. I don't understand all the complaining here or why people are making a big deal out of nothing. If you don't like the question(s)...don't answer it, move on. Always assume positive intent; and don't berate or condescend to someone for asking a question in a forum, FCS.

Asking for an H SA is in no way even in the ballpark of asking for a restaurant or museum recommendation.

 

[benjinito]

Every other luxury sub here has a “SA recommendation” thread. People ask for SA contact info just like they ask for every other thing from strangers on forums because lots of people go to forums for info.

I don't get it for the other subs either If someone wants something from Chanel or LV, they can just walk in and ask to see it.
The only exception I've seen is in the Chanel sub, where people post pictures of the actual item and you can PM for SA details.

Maybe they genuinely want to know who we feel are nice amd helpful (since we all know there can be some trifling and rude and stuck up luxury SAs [there's entire threads dedicated to bad shopping experiences]). I'd take it as a compliment if a stranger trusts my judgment enough to recommend an SA to them.

Without any intention of condescension, I think it's best that folks walk into a store and form their own opinion of the service they receive in either a H or non-H store We're just going shopping here

 

[Fixxi]

I honestly think H is one of the only subs to be weird about giving SA contact info

100% agree.

I understand asking for a referral because you want to have a good shopping experience. If we are going spend a lot of money, I want to be paired up with a great SA, and I want that person to get the commissions from my purchases. So yes, i get the intention. However, there are way too many bad apples that may taint the original referee & SA relationship because of unrealistic expectations driven by the low supply. H is not really the place where "if you know someone" you get what you want.

Where asking for referral is acceptable? Literally almost everywhere else - restaurants (where you may get a free appetizer because the owner loves the referee), service industry, even retail (because SAs want the sale), etc. But not H
Everyone above has hit the nail on the head why it doesn't make sense to do so at H, so I won't repeat all the great points).

 

[papertiger]

I think we may have exhausted the subject of asking for SA's contact.

It may be fine in other store's but it is clearly a for Hermes.

If a SA gives you his/her contact details, it is 'respondent only'. If you ask your SA "may I give a friend your details?" and he/she says that it's OK different matter.

For me it's the same with details for colleagues at work and complies with GDPD which is usual policy.

Let's change the subject now please.

 

[Pivoine66]

Sorry I had to chime in here with probably an unpopular opinion: and this is not directed to any one person. I honestly don't see anything wrong with someone asking for an SA contact. We can only assume someone wants to 'leapfrog' or get an advantage or ingratiate themselves...but it's just that: an ASSUMPTION. Lets face it, don't we all do a bit of that in our personal and professional lives anyway? Don't we try to make a good first impression to get offered 'something' in return, whether tangible or intangible? In a job interview, you are on your best behavior and dress appropriately in hopes of a job offer; on a first date you wear makeup and a nice outfit in hopes the person will like you; I've read some ladies go into H dressed in Hermès from head to toe...in hopes of impresseing the SA enough to score a bag offer. The list goes on and on. Those who say they don't do, or haven't at some point done, ANY of the above would be lying.

Maybe they genuinely want to know who we feel are nice amd helpful (since we all know there can be some trifling and rude and stuck up luxury SAs [there's entire threads dedicated to bad shopping experiences]). I'd take it as a compliment if a stranger trusts my judgment enough to recommend an SA to them.

To your point, if I am unfamiliar with a new city or the people or the "behaviors" there...then why not ask some kind folks here for help. I liken it to asking people's suggestions on a nice restaurant or hotel or museum or things to do in the city. As long as the SA is fine with it, and you feel comfortable sharing. No harm done. I don't understand all the complaining here or why people are making a big deal out of nothing. If you don't like the question(s)...don't answer it, move on. Always assume positive intent; and don't berate or condescend to someone for asking a question in a forum, FCS.

Sorry - I had to chime in here with probably an unpopular opinion:

I have problems with people just showing up here and wanting information in order to - let's be honest here as well - probably predominantly gain an advantage to obtain B or K without the evidenced solution of spending money at H or taking the time - precious to many of us! - to find a SA. Often even in order to then optimise the profit on resale! (How many do I see even here who first post that they have received "their dream bag" and then shortly afterwards ask which one they should keep. Am I stupid or what? )
So many honest fans here have trouble getting bags. And then so many turn up who allegedly get carried away without thinking and buy about 12 ooo USD! bags and often even resell them within the return period for horrendous prices? or "innocently ask about which bags to keep" including those they just bought and presented here? - please!

Honestly: I find it impertinent to indirectly accuse those who do not want - regularly unwanted by Hermès SAs - to name names on a completely internationally public! forum of "gatekeeping" and other negative thoughts and actions. I call this a questionable form of manipulation by creating a bad conscience, which unfortunately is exactly what the helping and honest people get - and probably only them - when they do not "help". While those who ask these IMO rude and IMO often backfiring questions, often even without any effort in reading just few posts before, and challenges would not feel the least bit like that. Sorry - these repeating accusations made me really rant ...

 

[WhiteBus]

I would only comment that some people give their SAs contact info to others without first asking their SA if that is okay. If someone asks me to introduce them to someone I know personally, I do make sure it’s okay with all parties first. In the case of SAs, not even those limited to Hermes, demand has been such, post Covid, that several have declined.

although your comment was of course not aimed at anyone personally, I do think that individuals here dont always consider what it means to provide contacts over a public forum or even via PM. One of my SAs at another premier brand said that such publicized information has gotten a fellow SA in trouble with corporate ( though I did not ask for details).

ETA: Perhaps SAs at Hermes would be more willing to take referrals if they were not continually inundated with requests for BKC. But, my other SAs at chanel, dior, brunello, and other brands have told me that they have regretfully refused many additional clients as they are oversubscribed.

I try hard to help TPFers who are contributing members to the forum, but I have increasingly less bandwidth to spare for a new member who makes an overly familiar demand as an initial post without even searching for answers in the correct thread. I personally do not ask for favors without some attempt at reciprocity. This is JMO though and ymmv

bravo for all the points

sorry PT
I had not read your request before I supported 880's post
p.s. I agree with your general point about sharing any contact details without agreement

 

[maxroxxherhandbags]

I do know a OG TPFer who doesn’t buy much and gets multiple QB bag offers in Paris. But, here is the key difference. She would absolutely buy if the items truly work for her, AND she has impeccable taste and both knowledge and passion about Hermes product and history. And the RTW, jewelry, and bags look great on her. As such, Hermes SAs, yes, multiple ones, love talking with her. But she would honestly be just as happy spending hours in the FSH museum and garden, even if it meant skipping her leather appt, and I don’t know anyone else who would do that lol

I for one would skip a leather appointment for a visit to the Museum!
And for a chance to go through the archives AND visit the workshop I'd forsake several leather appointments!
FACT!!
And to go back on topic.
I've had lovely 'relationships' with all my SA and I stress this is NOT based on spend.
I've been offered 2 quota bags (which I turned down because I have decided I actually love vintage and discontinued styles more than I desire a box-fresh new Birkin or Kelly at this moment in time) and a couple of non quota bags.
My SA's just know how much I love the brand not just bags but I love some of the jewellery, watches, and Furniture as well as past RTW collections.
Most are relatively young and have been with the brand for 5years or less-So I get amused when I find myself opening their eyes to older collections and discontinued bags they've never seen or heard of.
One of my friends who shops with the same consultant I do actually told me the other day that the consultant had mentioned they hadn't seen me for awhile and they missed me popping in because they always enjoyed our chats (truth is I haven't been in recently because I passed by and the queue put me right off bothering to go in)
My point is...
As oft stated so eloquently and in less long winded terms by many others-Just be polite and be yourself.
If all you want is a bag fine 'play' the 'game' worry about your spend and what category to buy in next.
But that isn't building a relationship its building a customer profile.
that is a very different thing from a 'relationship'
Which leads me add:
Perhaps this thread should be re-named
building a Hermes customer profile

 

[papertiger]

Another reminder: If you're talking about FSH or Paris please post in the Paris thread, TY

 

[AmalieLotte92]

I take my relationship with my H SA very seriously, have introduced a few friends to her but don’t just hand her name out to anyone. We have worked together for many years and get along so well. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Forgive the long story but…I recently had a situation where I was going to an appointment at H and walked through a department store on my way. Stopped and looked at some shoes, chatted with the SA and said that I might come back after my H appointment. He was telling me how he wanted an Herbag and was trying to get his boyfriend to buy him one yada, yada. Anyway, didn’t buy anything from him and didn’t see him on my way out. Next time I had an appointment at H, I walked through the department store again (convenient parking to H store) and went to my appointment. On my way out, the department store SA sees me (or maybe my large orange bag) and starts talking to me and how he remembered me etc. Asks me who my SA at H is. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing the info but sort of felt like I had no choice as he has now seen me twice going to H. He is telling me how he normally shops at a different H but this one is so convenient etc. I did he should continue working with his SA at the other store since he has established himself as a client there. As I leave, he asks me my name again. I just had such a weird feeling about the whole thing. Before I even left the department store to get into my car I texted my H SA and told her this guy’s name and that in no way had I suggested he reach out to her nor had I recommended her to him. She thanked me for the heads up. Next time I had an H appointment, I snuck through the department store (because now I never want to see this department store SA again as he made me very uncomfortable) and went to H. As I was finishing up with my purchases, my H SA tells me that the department store SA had gone in and sought her out. He out and out lied and said that he was my personal shopper at the department store and he assisted me with all my purchases there. Never happened!!! My H SA remembered my text and sort of played dumb about me when he said my first name she asked for my last name. He was completely stumped because I had never purchased a thing from him and he made one up. She acted like she wasn’t sure who I was. He bought a pair of shoes from her and she told me that he has no previous purchase history at the other H store he mentioned and this was his first H purchase. I was really mad! I am so glad I had texted my H SA about this guy because he did what I feared and suspected he might do, which was use me to try and get an in with her and get a bag. And how dare he make up a relationship between us and say he is my personal shopper?! Now it’s not a matter of trying to avoid him when I walk through the department store, I actually want to call him out on it. Not sure if I will or not but he had a heck of a lot of nerve. I think it’s okay to be protective of our H SAs and not want to share their info with anyone who asks because our own credibility can come into play. I honestly love H and my SA and don’t want to do anything to mess up the relationship we have built over the years for a stranger or someone I don’t really know. For me it’s not just about quota bags and I don’t want to be a means to an end for someone that has that as their motivation.

Omg... that is so manipulatively, and dare I say, borderline sociopathic. What it is about H that makes some people behave this way??

I know your H SA was grateful for the heads up from you, and a great example of what a healthy working relationship looks like: you had her back.

(And I'd 100% call that department store SA out if I ran into him again. Just... ew. )

Edit: On second thought...maybe don't call him out. Since creepy behavior might lead to more creepy behavior. A steely GLARE from you might do the trick.

 

[DB8]

I liken it to asking people's suggestions on a nice restaurant or hotel or museum or things to do in the city.

No. Asking whether one should go to The Frick or The Met on Saturday afternoon is a innocuous question. Asking for a H referral is a much more loaded question with strong intentions/implications.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with someone asking for an SA contact. We can only assume someone wants to 'leapfrog' or get an advantage or ingratiate themselves...but it's just that: an ASSUMPTION.

An assumption that is usually right, based on the deluge of prodding questions from members who are new to H.

I've learnt to not even share my offers (declined or accepted) with friends, as I've been burnt on the store level by that (H makes people do crazy things). If people I know in real life can behave like that, I'm not risking my own reputation to help a internet stranger. I'm sure there are others here who 100% feel the same way.

The only way I'll refer someone to my SA is if I know this friend is serious about purchasing, and I know will be easy to work with (ie, no anxiety ridden texts at midnight about spend and quota bags). I also insist on being present for the introduction.

The term gatekeeping has been thrown around here quite a bit, but this is not - it's merely respect of my SA's time and mental wellbeing. I think that is key to 'maintaining your H relationship.' Respect.

 

[FrenchNewbie]

No. Asking whether one should go to The Frick or The Met on Saturday afternoon is a innocuous question. Asking for a H referral is a much more loaded question with strong intentions/implications.

An assumption that is usually right, based on the deluge of prodding questions from members who are new to H.

I've learnt to not even share my offers (declined or accepted) with friends, as I've been burnt on the store level by that (H makes people do crazy things). If people I know in real life can behave like that, I'm not risking my own reputation to help a internet stranger. I'm sure there are others here who 100% feel the same way.

The only way I'll refer someone to my SA is if I know this friend is serious about purchasing, and I know will be easy to work with (ie, no anxiety ridden texts at midnight about spend and quota bags). I also insist on being present for the introduction.

The term gatekeeping has been thrown around here quite a bit, but this is not - it's merely respect of my SA's time and mental wellbeing. I think that is key to 'maintaining your H relationship.' Respect.

Sure, if you say so.

It's cool you people disagree with me--fine, you're entitled to your "opinion". I knew when I submitted my post that I would encounter pushback (i.e. "unpopular opinion"), and I am at peace with that. I am also willing to accept the gunfire for standing up for those who asked for SA contacts (reminder: I am not one of the people who asked...I just don't like to see people bullied).

Let's focus on the last part of what I wrote: it's cool you don't agree with people asking for SA contacts, but don't berate them or condescend to them just because they don't subscribe to your logic. We can all agree to disagree.

Does this make you feel better?

 

[Swanky]

Let's stick closer to topic please; agree to disagree

 

[Caramelus]

Ooofff ... my head hurts

 

[cclover20]

Hi! So I’ve read through a lot of threads, and I see it mentioned that shoppers should frequently visit their boutique if they’re interested in getting a QB offer. I started my Hermes journey last summer, and I probably go into the boutique every couple months, a little more recently as I’ve paid closer attention to the brand. I was wondering though what people mean when they say frequently, because I feel like with only 2 seasons a year, not much new is coming out? And do you always make a purchase each time, or sometimes just drop in to see what’s new? I’m afraid of wasting my SA’s time, so I don’t go in unless I’ve identified something I’m looking for, but then I wonder if I’m missing out on face time. I’m also not that into scarves, so I feel like each visit is a substantial purchase. Thank you!

 

[880]

I don’t think face time really works. Go when you want to browse or purchase or have a reason
your SA is probably pretty busy, but if you have expressed interest in something and it comes up, she won’t forget
i don’t have a regular rhythm, but my SA also knows to text me if something is interesting in RTW or a category I like

ETA: Out of curiosity, I went back to the start of the thread to see the original posts, and it seemed like the successful relationships tried to relax a bit about SA contacts and calls.