Ladies...Any RUDE/CATTY/SNIDE/NASTY Remarks about your Birkins or ANY Hermès Purchase

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Since we're talking about behaviors in a few other threads, I want to share mine. Very recently, a female friend of DH, who is known for being passive aggressive, was chatting with DH and, out of the blue she said, "Dude, your wife has so many bags!" DH's response, "No, only Hermes bags, she sold her other ones. So?" to which she said, "Those are the most expensive! Aren't you concerned about her spending?"

For context - DH is cool with all my purchases. We are married but decided to have separate finances. We both make enough (dare I say, I make more) for our family of three to be able to live comfortably while still saving and spending on things we like without thinking too much about it. Also, spoiler alert: *gasp* I actually paid for the H purchases myself.

I really would love to confront her because I'm not passive aggressive, I'm just aggressive :graucho:, but I probably should just let it go. However, if the opportunity ever presents itself I would tell her that it's the equivalent of me telling her DH that I thinks she eats WAY too much (truth), and isn't he concerned about how much she eats?

Okay, rant over. Thank you for listening.

It's a pleasure to hear your story! My partner and I have been together for years and haven't decided on when/if to get married. We share spending for things like our home, travel, food, etc but in general keep our finances separate. I've expressed interest in starting to search for a B for my 30th birthday. He is supportive and I can afford it on my own, but I've been concerned with the shade I'd get from other women. Thanks for the reminder not to care and to keep building a career so you can take care of yourself and your family!
 
that is very rude - shocking actually. You handled it with grace by simply ignoring them and walking out. No - one ever comments at my appearance. Living in London means most people have seen it all before and could not care less, if i walked down bond street naked, covered in gold leaf. i guess one just has to shrug things off - limited minds cannot help being who they are.
I do also live somewhere were people quite literally wear everything and anything. I have even seen someone walk barefoot in Neiman Marcus and no one cared, so I was even more shocked about their behaviour towards the way I had tied my scarf. I totally agree with how some people cannot help but continue to be who they are.
 
People can be a$$hats. Usually because they are jealous.
For far too many people, high school never really ends.

Wow. I think a Yelp review is appropriate in this instance. I am so sorry you were treated this way.

I agree with @rainneday on the Yelp review. It's so unprofessional considering they are a customer oriented business.
I completely agree with you all. This was completely unprofessional and deserving of a Yelp review. Sadly, I do not recall Yelp having zero stars.
 
I kind of stated it in my last post, but I want to be very frank. I don't trust your DH's friend's motivations. It is not so much what she said, but that she said it to him, apart from you, and not directly to you. It doesn't seem that her heart was in the right place. I understand that she is a mutual friend, and closer to your DH (?) but, if she were genuinely curious about how you can afford your bags, she could have come to you and approached it in a much more mature manner. If she never brings it up again, great. But, I would caution you and your DH to keep a heightened awareness of her motivations (in all situations), because who needs people like that hanging about anyway? Best of luck!
Oh I totally agree with you! It's just so odd that she would go straight to him about this, when she could've come to me. I chalked it up to her being passive aggressive and instead of talking to the person that she's supposed to talk to, she talks about it with other people (who know the person she's talking about) instead. In this case it's DH. You are right she is closer to DH as they are in the same field and they talk shop with each other.

It's still odd and DH and I actually had to laugh at her because, seriously, who does this kind of thing? :biggrin:
 
It's a pleasure to hear your story! My partner and I have been together for years and haven't decided on when/if to get married. We share spending for things like our home, travel, food, etc but in general keep our finances separate. I've expressed interest in starting to search for a B for my 30th birthday. He is supportive and I can afford it on my own, but I've been concerned with the shade I'd get from other women. Thanks for the reminder not to care and to keep building a career so you can take care of yourself and your family!
I'm glad! I learned about separate finances from my parents, both of whom have had their own (separate) careers for as long as I remember. I inherited my mom's eye for designer goods (altho she claimed that I took it to the next level, and then some :p). She always buys them herself, even up to this day, and when my dad buys her something it is treated as something special. As for my DH, he always knows I like these things right from the start so it's not like he doesn't know what he's signing up for :angel:. This is probably a post for a separate thread (there's one that talks about "how you fund your H purchases") but yea, I'm lucky enough to be in a well-paying field and a career that I enjoy but gosh, women can be so catty about these things! :nuts:
 
I'm glad! I learned about separate finances from my parents, both of whom have had their own (separate) careers for as long as I remember. I inherited my mom's eye for designer goods (altho she claimed that I took it to the next level, and then some :p). She always buys them herself, even up to this day, and when my dad buys her something it is treated as something special. As for my DH, he always knows I like these things right from the start so it's not like he doesn't know what he's signing up for :angel:. This is probably a post for a separate thread (there's one that talks about "how you fund your H purchases") but yea, I'm lucky enough to be in a well-paying field and a career that I enjoy but gosh, women can be so catty about these things! :nuts:

Thank you for sharing your story. I had similar experience with catty women. They simply assume that DH pays for my cars, bags, cameras, gold gilded harps and other toys. Those people are simply so narrow minded that they cannot comprehend that women can achieve a lot in life!

I agree 100% that separate finances is a great thing to have in a marriage. While my DH is more than willing to buy me any B or K of my heart's desire, I have paid for most of my bags (including all of my H bags) and am proud of it.
 
I'm glad! I learned about separate finances from my parents, both of whom have had their own (separate) careers for as long as I remember. I inherited my mom's eye for designer goods (altho she claimed that I took it to the next level, and then some :p). She always buys them herself, even up to this day, and when my dad buys her something it is treated as something special. As for my DH, he always knows I like these things right from the start so it's not like he doesn't know what he's signing up for :angel:. This is probably a post for a separate thread (there's one that talks about "how you fund your H purchases") but yea, I'm lucky enough to be in a well-paying field and a career that I enjoy but gosh, women can be so catty about these things! :nuts:

I'm sure these are the women who dismiss women's march. SMGDH. I don't understand jealous people.
 
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