My bf seems to be back and forth about the situation. I think he can appreciate a good quality handbag, but does not think it is necessary to buy more than 1. He often does get mad, even though it's my money. He'll say to me "You are absolutly crazy if you buy another," yet a few day's later, he'll say "OMG, I saw the fakest LV purse today..." hehe, i guess im wearing off on him!!
Ignorant Boyfriend
- Thread starter sammydoll
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i have never heard that before but it is classic. very good. and yes....think long and hard before you move out there. it's gotta work smoothly (or you are able to talk it out) or it is just an uphill battle.
best of luck and be strong.
i have never heard that before but it is classic. very good. and yes....think long and hard before you move out there. it's gotta work smoothly (or you are able to talk it out) or it is just an uphill battle.
best of luck and be strong.
Sorry to hear this...but I think/ or heard that a lot of guys (not all though) are like that!
The DH at first thought it was pretty much to spend on handbags but he does like my Chanels..(LOL)..but he doesnt speak to me like that and has bought even bought me a couple.
another example, my dad was the one who introduced my mom to designer purses! LOL
The DH at first thought it was pretty much to spend on handbags but he does like my Chanels..(LOL)..but he doesnt speak to me like that and has bought even bought me a couple.
another example, my dad was the one who introduced my mom to designer purses! LOL
So sorry that he spoke to you like that!!! I would personally curse him out, but that's me.....my hubby doesn't "get" my bag obsession, but knows better than to go there w/me. He spends twice the amount on computer equipment.
If you don't think he's the one for you.....move on so you don't get so annoyed.
Anne
If you don't think he's the one for you.....move on so you don't get so annoyed.
Anne
I think some people will never understand. And I don't even bother trying to change their mind. I just don't talk to them about it. My boyfriend is the best. He's the only one that doesn't make me feel bad when I spend a considerable amount of money on handbags, shoes, and clothes. He doesn't ask for prices, he just gives compliments. He doesn't really know much about fashion and such. He once mistook my Coach bag thinking it was Gucci because of the Cs. He just said wow that's nice.
As long as you're not skimping on him to support your bag addiction, he has no right to talk that way to you. Eg. If you always say, I can't afford a plane ticket to visit you, I can't afford dinner and can you pay?, I can't afford the long distance calls to talk to you, etc, then he has a right to complain about bag purchases. Otherwise, no way.
Oh, not at all! I pay for everything, lol. i'd feel bad if i didn't, he has serious money issues.. like he JUST got his car back, as it got taken away about a month and a half ago.. *sigh* i think i'm done with him-- whether i fully want to be currently or not.. i just know he's not worth it. He's one of those people when he's mad he just totally rips you apart with his words.. and he's SO sensitive so that is quite often. I definitely can't take it anymore, i just wanted it so badly to work out. I hate being single!!
at first my BF used to not understand why i'd spend that much money on bags & accessories. after about 2 and a half years, he's adjusted & i can't say he "understands", but he supports me & actually bought me my spy. he's also getting a good eye for different types of bags & is attentive whenever i wanna buy one. you know, even though they might not understand your rationale, if they see it makes you happy, they should just be supportive about it. god knows you're not forcing them to fund your habits. tell him to be proud he has a girlfriend who has style. im sorry 
he's like that. i hate being single too!! my type of personality makes me more of a relationship person. but seriously, if he cant love you for your obsessions that make you extremely happy :shame: 
then maybe he really isnt the right one. better now than years down the line when youre both more attached right?
he's like that. i hate being single too!! my type of personality makes me more of a relationship person. but seriously, if he cant love you for your obsessions that make you extremely happy :shame: then maybe he really isnt the right one. better now than years down the line when youre both more attached right?
Oh, not at all! I pay for everything, lol. i'd feel bad if i didn't, he has serious money issues.. like he JUST got his car back, as it got taken away about a month and a half ago.. *sigh* i think i'm done with him-- whether i fully want to be currently or not.. i just know he's not worth it. He's one of those people when he's mad he just totally rips you apart with his words.. and he's SO sensitive so that is quite often. I definitely can't take it anymore, i just wanted it so badly to work out. I hate being single!!
Sammydoll, I am 35. I have been with GENEROUS dear husband for 12 years. Right before I met him, I was with a guy that would put me down for nothing when we argued.His words were caustic and cutting ( I loved him and took this crap)...Then I met my DH, on the street actually. He asked me out to lunch
...I went with him and dated him behind my ex-boyfriends back (We just broke up and were going through the routine where your broken up but still have sex etc..the last round so to speak)Well at the same time I was going out with my currant DH for lunch and having fun! He was so nice, especially his words and how he treated me(problem was, I still loved the *******)...about 2 months of this is going on and my exboyfriend is still putting me down etc.. and It becomes clearer and clearer as I date both men that THE NICER ONE IS WORTH THROWING AWAY THE MEAN ONE - IN THE END - A LOSER!!!! He still is single btw...never lasted with anyone because his words are rotten and here I am with the nice guy (now 12 years)who gave me A Hermes Kelly a month or 2 ago, just because I am "a good wife".I would get out now Sammydoll, I hated being single too...but he is not going to be very healthy in a relationship (atleast it sounds that way) Some people are toxic people and must let there nasty past creep up everynow and again to show you who they really can be. Good luck
If he has, as you say, "money issues," and has been thinking of your relationship as something that might escalate to the point of you moving to where he lives, the possibility of the two of you being in a situation where you might be needing to cooperate on money, it is understandable that he would also have some apprehension about doing all this with a young girl for whom being on her own will be a new thing, who currently does not have to worry about paying for the basics of day to day life, and is free to work part-time, and to use her earnings to purchase whatever it is she wants.
He might not feel differently if you used your money to buy paintings, for instance, or antique area rugs!
And it is true that being on one's own today can be a daunting prospect. Those everyday basics like rent and food and utility bills - and car payments
- can be pretty rough going for young people starting out on the road to independence, and no one could blame you if you yourself did not have some anxiety about that, quite independently of whether you have a boyrfriend or not.
That said, as several people have pointed out, there is no need for him to express his opinion of how you choose to spend your money in a rude way. In fact, it is quite inappropriate, regardless of his opinion of designer bags. Saying rude things to someone with the intention of hurting their feelings is never acceptable, no matter what the topic, and you have indicated that he might have some anger management issues that could prove as difficult for both of you, both separately and together, as the already-mentioned challenges of making ends meet.
And your own comments show that you are not feeling good about the relationship moving forward, which is in my opinion, very wise and grown-up.
Making that move away from home is a big step, and I would suggest that it is something that is best done quite independently and unrelated to boyfriends, whether good ones or bad ones, so this stranger's free advice is:
- listen to yourself. Your comments about him make a lot of sense. If you are going to have a boyfriend, you deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are, and treats you with respect.
And when you are ready to leave the nest and fly away, you deserve to make your choice about where and when and how you will fly based on your own likes and dislikes, your own dreams and ambitions, not the location of a boyfriend, even when you find a good one!
He might not feel differently if you used your money to buy paintings, for instance, or antique area rugs!
And it is true that being on one's own today can be a daunting prospect. Those everyday basics like rent and food and utility bills - and car payments
- can be pretty rough going for young people starting out on the road to independence, and no one could blame you if you yourself did not have some anxiety about that, quite independently of whether you have a boyrfriend or not.That said, as several people have pointed out, there is no need for him to express his opinion of how you choose to spend your money in a rude way. In fact, it is quite inappropriate, regardless of his opinion of designer bags. Saying rude things to someone with the intention of hurting their feelings is never acceptable, no matter what the topic, and you have indicated that he might have some anger management issues that could prove as difficult for both of you, both separately and together, as the already-mentioned challenges of making ends meet.
And your own comments show that you are not feeling good about the relationship moving forward, which is in my opinion, very wise and grown-up.
Making that move away from home is a big step, and I would suggest that it is something that is best done quite independently and unrelated to boyfriends, whether good ones or bad ones, so this stranger's free advice is:
- listen to yourself. Your comments about him make a lot of sense. If you are going to have a boyfriend, you deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are, and treats you with respect.
And when you are ready to leave the nest and fly away, you deserve to make your choice about where and when and how you will fly based on your own likes and dislikes, your own dreams and ambitions, not the location of a boyfriend, even when you find a good one!
my husband is an absolute boob about things
however he has become less obnoxious about it
especially after he has spent $200 on a leather briefcase or whatever
idk how old you or yr bf is however i do think there is maturity and respect that comes with age or at least I'm hoping
however he has become less obnoxious about it
especially after he has spent $200 on a leather briefcase or whatever
idk how old you or yr bf is however i do think there is maturity and respect that comes with age or at least I'm hoping
Oh, not at all! I pay for everything, lol. i'd feel bad if i didn't, he has serious money issues.. like he JUST got his car back, as it got taken away about a month and a half ago.. *sigh* i think i'm done with him-- whether i fully want to be currently or not.. i just know he's not worth it. He's one of those people when he's mad he just totally rips you apart with his words.. and he's SO sensitive so that is quite often. I definitely can't take it anymore, i just wanted it so badly to work out. I hate being single!!
Umm, on another note, he doesn't seem like he has his life together enough for you two to be living together. I don't know what type of DH you are looking for but personally I would go for someone who has it "more together" than him. No offence but really. He had his car repoed or something? This is going to sound rude but he certainly has the word LOSER written ALL over him from my point of view!
Single is better than being with a loser-you are a VERY cute girl. A more reponsible, successful man is in your future!
my ex boyfriend got like that after a while, and it was because the bags intimidated him - he felt like they were an indication that i was more successful and independent than he was and he didn't like that. i think a lot of guys are secretly scared of girls that don't feel like they have to consult their man before they spend money - even when it's money that the woman earned.
i say kick him to the curb. if he's going to speak to you that way and belittle what you want to do with money you worked for, he doesn't respect you and is probably more than a little threatened by your independence.
i say kick him to the curb. if he's going to speak to you that way and belittle what you want to do with money you worked for, he doesn't respect you and is probably more than a little threatened by your independence.