Ignorant Boyfriend

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#16
That's really not nice of him to talk to you like that.
I can see where he is coming from, because to a lot of people spending thousands on a bag is crazy. But to state it to somebody like that? Uncalled for :( There are more diplomatic ways to discuss things like that.
 
#17
Yorelica said:
eeeeeeek..that must be tough for you! poor girl!

Hmm...no my bf is not like that. He knows what you pay is what you get! He is very supportive..and actually my priority when selecting a man is 1) He must be able to accept my bag addiction and feed me more ! Otherwise the word BF won't even be in the picture!
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It's funny cause because we even started dating i brought up my bag addiction and told him if he ever wanted to date me he'd have to accept it and be cool with it. And he replied "I live in West Hollywood- everyone carries those bags here." So i felt confidant about it.. but then shortly after dating him, his attitude changed. It's a long distance thing as well.. I live in Washington DC.. i fly out there every month or so to visit and planned on moving there in June. *sigh*


Anyway, you girls have really helped.. This guy IS kind of controlling and can be mean.. I'm usually not one to fall into this type of situation but :shrugs: i don't know. Thanks for your opinions:heart:
 
#19
I'm married to a man who's an enabler so I'm sure I can't relate. But I will tell you this. I would NEVER be with a man (boyfriend or husband) who:

#1 - Talked to me that way.

#2 - Did not even TRY to support my likes.

I believe that when you love someone, you should want to see them happy. Even if you can't afford to give them what they want, you should work hard to understand their feelings and work hard to help them get some of what they want.

I would rather have one bag that I loved and know that we worked very hard to get and had his support in helping me get it - than 10 bags that I bought all on my own that he thinks are a stupid waste of money.

How he talks to you is disgusting. His attitude about the things you like is disgusting. And trust me, it's very indicitive of the way things will be in the future as your relationship grows.
 
#20
Dag if this is what he is like 6 months into being a boyfriend, how is he going to be 6 months into being a husband, when he would actually have some miniscule kind of right to offer an opinion in what you buy get my drift;) Right now he shouldn 't even be batting an eyelash at what you buy let alone talk to you like that. And you guys don't live together, and it's long distance ok I'll stop now but you get my point I hope. Girl nip this thing in the bud now. Imagine if you did move where he is, oh lord

Just for the record I don't know your boyfriend but in abusive relationships, these are the "little signs" we tend to ignore in the beginning, and not see the connection. Believe me I've been there and so have a few of my friends. First it's the bags, then the clothes, then they complain about what you spend on as little as makeup.
 
#24
asl_bebes said:
ITA ... don't let anyone talk to you like that! Maybe I'm old fashioned but if a guy really likes a girl, you would think he'd be more respectful.
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Yeah.. He's like one of those guys who is full of pride and never wants to feel or show like someone else has any type of emotional control over him.. So he often acts like an ******* and is not super "lovey-dovy" with me.. He was physically abused as a child.. i know that must have a lot to do with it..
 
#25
JMO, but I think that the problem is not at all what he thinks of your bag habit, but how disrespectfully he speaks to you.

MY BF totally does not get "girly" things and he likes to tease me and say that he can't tell the difference between my balanciaga and a bag that his mother paid $12 for, but it is friendly teasing, not insulting or demeaning.

You also said that he can be controlling and mean in other ways & that you are planning on moving across the country to live with him.

I don't mean to be judgemental, but he does NOT sound like someone that will treat you well, expecially once you have left your family and are in his "world."

Free advice from strangers is worth what you pay for it, but please think very carefully about this relationship.
 
#26
ew i wouldn't want anyone talking to me like that. esp if he's your bf! he sounds like he's a bit immature. my bf realises that bags are something i love and he accepts it as part of me.
 
#28
I don't want you girls thinking he physically abuses me, he doesn't! He just talks SO much ****. And i'm like the opposite-- live and let live. He's just ALWAYS looking for a constant arguement. I think i'm over it. When we next talk i'll tell him how i feel.. It just sucks, cause in a lot of ways we work very well.. but in others we don't work AT ALL. oooohhhh well! like.. i'm not a passive person at all, and i know on the outside looking in, i'd be saying the same exact things you girls are.. So, i know it's definitely not relationship worth keeping.
 
#29
my bf and I have different perspectives on how to spend money, i have the ability to buy purses and he doesnt. At some point we started having arguments and i think the problem was that he was very scared that when we get married he will somehow dissapoint me if he will not be able to support my bag addiction:) Thats what he told me, i explained to him that i dont want him to buy me 1000 dollar bags if i can afford them i will get it if i cant then i will wait and buy it when i can afford it. I still sometimes feel bad when i buy a new purse, but the interesting thing is that he now recognises all the brands and sees how good the quality is, i got him a LV credit card holder and he takes it with him everywhere. Last night he told me that he doesnt mind me bying it occasionaly but he thinks i shouldnt buy it every month or so and should take breaks to appreciate them more :)
 
#30
I know it's your relationship but that's not a nice way to talk to someone.
I would be more concerned that he feels it's ok to speak to you like that rather than his arguement about not liking the bags.
 
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