Husband has said no more bags:(...

[phwish]

I agree somewhat with puteri and the rest. Before my husband became my husband, he'd never interfere with how I spend my money. But once we got married, he'd tell me to save "my" money for "us". I couldn't really see his point at that time 'cos I couldn't see why things should change after marriage. Until 1 day he sat me down and talked to me and told me his concerns. A lot of what he's doing is for the future and what he had learnt from his family's past on how to manage $. He wanted to start a family soon as well and told me we had to save up for that. Furthermore, he cut his spending on his own hobby and beer and put his money where his mouth was and once put in the perspective that he's not intent on spoiling my fun for the heck of it but for the good of our family's future, I had an easier time understanding and compromising on things.

Likewise, we don't know your husband or his story behind him wanting to curb your spending and we don't know your marriage. He should be "supportive" enough of your LV obsession if he was willing to buy you the Aurelia as a X'mas present...keep that in mind and then put on a clear and calm head and have a good talk - make him talk! Maybe he feels a tinge of jealousy since u started taking up LV - have u been spending time with everyone here than with him dearie (especially if he doesn't have his own hobby)? Communication is all the more important in a marriage and never let anger cloud your judgement. Everyone's been giving good advice so u may want to go through the posts and see how u can work things out. Of course, if after talking, he's a meanie..then I'd say stand ur ground, girl! I'm sorry if I have offended u or anyone else in any way...I really do hope things work out nicely between u and ur husband 'cos u r so nice in the forum and all...just to let u know that we at tpf r supporting u all the way!

 

[me_love_purse]

I totallly agree with you, you make your own money, and you aren't affecting your finances one bit...than you buy as many as you want!

totally agree.... i told my husband flat out that i will never tell him what to do with his money and he should not tell me what to do with my money. in my opinion, life is too short to live by somebody's rule.
having told you this, i have no kids.... i think things would have been different if i were to have kids... meaning i dont want to ruin my marriage because of shopping habit.

 

[Serendipity]

My poor husband lives with 3 women. I never really listened to him when he told me no before because I would never tell him no. Now he doesn't say a thing. Who wants 3 women all over him at the same time.

I will say if there were other priorities at the moment I would resist and purchase more bags later on.

 

[PurseSally]

It may be that he sees your LV hobby, and the time on the forum, as becoming too all consuming in your life. Perhaps he's jealous of the time you spend online? He may be worried that no matter how many bags you get you will still want more and he's concerned. Also, a lot of people dislike credit card debt. I agree with all the other posters who said that communication is important and a good chat will probably uncover the real issue. Hope it works out. After all, DH are worth more than bags any day!

 

[kathyrose]

It may be that he sees your LV hobby, and the time on the forum, as becoming too all consuming in your life.

After all, DH are worth more than bags any day!

I agree with these 2 statements.

We all love bags on this forum. We get them one way or the other. I believe that your hubby wouldn't say that unless he's concerned about it somehow, whether it's you having purchased 5 bags in one month or what. I don't know your purchases or anything like that but if you've purchased 0 bags for the past few months then it shoots up to 5 last month, doesn't that catch his attention? Won't he worry if this will keep up or get worse? Granted that it's your money that you're using, you're in a partnership in marriage and it's something for him to get concerned about if he said something about it. Maybe he's worried that you'll shop more and eventually get in debt? You never know. I will never know nor will he until it happens if it does happen. I have known several people get in huge debt and they don't think they will when they started. Or maybe he thinks you do have enough bags and that your $ can be used on something else more wisely. If this is the case you can just sit down and talk to him and tell him there's nothing else you want really but buy bags with your money. At the end of the day, whether it costs $50 or $5,000....it's just a bag.

 

[keishapie1973]

There's always two sides to a coin! We dont know her husband and we dont know how their marriage is. But we do know a little bit about LVpug! From the last posts from her I gather she has been buying a lot of LV stuffs and also talking a lot about wanting lots of LV bags. She talks a lot about it here but probably talking about it to her husband constantly that he just had enough! So I cant really blame the poor guy! He sees his wife so obsessively into LV that he might find it he is so helpless in curbing or stopping this sudden obsession!
I think LVpug should just take it easy in the next couple of months. He just bought you your X'mas bag! Usually when a husband says no more something, he usually means no more for a month or so and not forever. Usually they forget and then you can go back and get your new bag. In the meantime enjoy your current bags and the bag you are going to get at Xmas.
Just my 2 cents!

I totally agree with this. I've noticed that you are very consumed with buying new bags. We all are. But, not all of us can afford to constantly buy. You've mentioned that each bag that you have bought within that last couple of months have been on credit. Yet you haven't mentioned paying off this debt. Your husband is probably only concerned. In marriage there is really no "my" or "I". What you do with your finances will also affect him eventually. You have a wonderful collection of bags. Please try to enjoy them and pay off what you have currently bought. You will be surprised that your husband will probably be fine with you purchasing more bags after a reasonable time has passed. Moderation is key...........

 

[shoegal]

I could never say ignore what your husband is saying regardless of who made the money. A purse is not worth the problems it would cause. Perhaps try to understand why he is insisting that you curtail your spending. Maybe you should compromise with one bag a year.

 

[Virgo]

I understand where you are coming from but remember, you are a married couple and that means you work as a team. He has to understand your love for LV and you have to try to understand and see why he is saying no more. He may have a concern that you are not aware of. Once you have understood each other, you negotiate and come to an agreement where you are BOTH satisfied.

I completely agree. Good advice

 

[kathyrose]

I could never say ignore what your husband is saying regardless of who made the money. A purse is not worth the problems it would cause. Perhaps try to understand why he is insisting that you curtail your spending. Maybe you should compromise with one bag a year.

Totally agree and the statement I bolded is what it boils down to at least for me.

 

[HauteMama]

The main thing for any married couple is to have a budget and stick to it. That means that you both decide on how much of each of your salaries to use for debt payment (including rent/mortgage, vehicle loans, student debt, cc debt, etc.), retirement plans, other savings and how much each of you has to spend. Unless you come to these decisions together, one of you will always be angry or resentful.

Of course, the numbers will be different for each couple. Some couples have lots of debt, others none, and some couples want to save more while others enjoy expensive hobbies. If you each have different priorities, it will take a little more negotiating, but it can be done.

Once you each have your predetermined discretionary amounts, it is no longer his concern what you spend it on, bags or not.

 

[Virgo]

My poor husband lives with 3 women. I never really listened to him when he told me no before because I would never tell him no. Now he doesn't say a thing. Who wants 3 women all over him at the same time.

I will say if there were other priorities at the moment I would resist and purchase more bags later on.

Three females - poor guy doesn't have a chance!! LOL.

 

[sharbear508]

I understand where you are coming from but remember, you are a married couple and that means you work as a team. He has to understand your love for LV and you have to try to understand and see why he is saying no more. He may have a concern that you are not aware of. Once you have understood each other, you negotiate and come to an agreement where you are BOTH satisfied.

I completely agree! We all get in trouble from our bf's, fiances, and husbands for spending too much on bags and it's definitely annoying. But at the end of the day, marriage means you're in a team of 2. Working together to compromise and set financial priorities and goals is important to make sure both husband and wife are happy. I'm not saying he's right - I definitely understand the "need" to spend on bags! All I'm saying is that I'm sure there's something you can work out together to ensure that you can still buy some bags and he feels better about it.

Good luck!!!

 

[savvyblonde]

First of all....and this is MY opinion...LADIES...you are not HOOKERS, correct? No one should ever use sex as a bartering tool...that's just wrong. You should enjoy the sex your having with your partner equally. Seriously. I guess you don't learn this until your a bit older....IMHO, This is why marriage is such a joke today.
I say you, LVpug, have to decide whether YOU will be compromised as a person if you do what your husband says. Are you ready to ditch him for Louis? No judgement there...we don't know the whole story.
I think you just needed to vent and this is the place where we all should be supportive of this hobbie!
So go ahead, vent away...

 

[purly]

Why does he want you to save? Does he have a reason? If he's asking you to save for a particular reason, is it something you care enough about to curb your habit? Is he asking you to give up handbags completely or is he asking you to cut back?

Plenty of women dump men who have drug/alcohol issues every day because they can't get past them and focus on a real future. Maybe he sees the purse habit as something you can't get past that is standing in the way of your financial future.

If you make your own money, why not think of ways to make more? I'm not talking about a part time job someplace, but maybe an ebay biz or something. Just a thought.

 

[Oh Donna!]

I say keep the bags and get rid of the husband! sooooo happy I dont have one of those husband things anymore!...my daughter and my 3 cats are very happy when I bring home a new bag!