Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson

[blackkitty4378]

Uh, how in the world can you compare children to grown women?

I'm not comparing them. I'm just using it an an example of someone who's financially supporting someone else. Just because someone has the upper hand, it doesn't absolve them of any responsibility to still act like a good person.

That's how people like him (abusive parents, spouses, or anyone) get away with what they do. People look at it and they say, well they're supporting them financially. That person better toe the line or they deserve whatever the person who has power over them does to them. All I'm saying is I don't think that's right.

 

[Jayne1]

People are often quick to judge people who stay in abusive relationships, asking them why they stayed, why they put up with it, etc., and don't ask "Why did that person abuse?" or in this case "Why is this creepy old man obviously preying on young women, and taking advantage of them when they have drug addictions or come from horrible backgrounds?" There's another side to the coin which people often don't think of, and I was just trying to get people to think about that.

You really have to take responsibility for yourself. It's not easy and it would be wonderful to have a protective parent or sibling, but in many cases, I would say, I don't care why the person abuses, I just know I can't be here.

 

[blackkitty4378]

Uh, how in the world can you compare children to grown women?

Everyone has ruled in their house (no shoes in mine, no eating in the bedrooms, no laying on my bed with your street clothes on, no sleeping on my bed, that is why there is a guestroom). If you don't like the rules bounce. They are grown women and it was his house. You don't like it here bounce. But nope, they wanted the money and free plastic surgery.

You compaiting then to children you had doesn't even make sense.

I'm only using children and parent relationship as an example of someone who has control over another and can abuse that power. I already said the same thing about adult relationships, so I was just using a different example.

I'm not justifying her actions. She should have left earlier. She didn't. She eventually left and is now writing about her mistakes. I get that. I just think that Hugh Hefner deserves some criticism too because I think that he is sick. I think he is to blame because he is obviously taking advantage of women. Do you think that these women just sleep with an old guy for his money? They seem to have other issues as well, otherwise they would try gold digging with someone their own age.

You said you didn't "bounce" for 2 years. Can't you relate at all?

 

[blackkitty4378]

You really have to take responsibility for yourself. It's not easy and it would be wonderful to have a protective parent or sibling, but in many cases, I would say, I don't care why the person abuses, I just know I can't be here.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't take responsibility… I just think that people should look at the source of the problem, and if someone is being a ****ty human being to someone else, the gut reaction shouldn't be "Well, why did you let them do that to you?" It should be, "Why is that person doing that? That's wrong." Not "You're wrong for letting it happen to you. It's your fault."

 

[ByeKitty]

Uh, how in the world can you compare children to grown women?

Everyone has ruled in their house (no shoes in mine, no eating in the bedrooms, no laying on my bed with your street clothes on, no sleeping on my bed, that is why there is a guestroom). If you don't like the rules bounce. They are grown women and it was his house. You don't like it here bounce. But nope, they wanted the money and free plastic surgery.

You compaiting then to children you had doesn't even make sense.

The thing is that there are many types of "grown women", some stronger than others, some more willing than others to see the downsides of life in environments such as the playboy mansion. These women may have been scared of what was to become of them if they left the mansion. I also think they suffered from "daddy issues" and other psychological problems. Not trying to justify their choices, but I'm just saying that the fact that they were of age (though young enough to be Hefner's grandchildren) may not be enough reason to hold them, rather than Hef, fully accountable.

 

[scarlet555]

Thats a no brainer not worth mentioning, no one should be abused. but u go into a paid relationship where there are 3 other women involved or more; if you expect respect, love and a fairy tale wedding, u r unrealistic dont call it abuse.

 

[blackkitty4378]

Thats a no brainer not worth mentioning, no one should be abused. but u go into a paid relationship where there are 3 other women involved or more; if you expect respect, love and a fairy tale wedding, u r unrealistic dont call it abuse.

I think it is abuse. It doesn't matter if he's paying for everything. Doesn't absolve him of responsibility. I don't think it's justifiable. That's all I'm saying.

 

[SpeedyJC]

A lot of you are calling Hef a perv; but how is he a perv if women willing pose naked for him for a paycheck. Last time I checked, women would kill to be in playboy and no one is forcing them to do it. You can't exploit someone who asked to be in the magazine.

A perv is a man who gets women to get naked, promises them things and it never happens. Playboy pays for all their models.

Thank you! Couldn't agree more. These are grown women who want to be in Playboy and while many seek it out I am sure some get scouted however they have the opportunity to say no. I was once approached by someone affiliated with Penthouse(not exactly as prestigious as Playboy) and I politely said no thank you. It's a choice.

As far as Holly is concerned I think she is saying a lot out of spite. She obviously loved Hef. I watched the Girls Next Door and she was always talking marriage and babies. I think she is bitter things didn't go her way.

 

[bag-mania]

As far as Holly is concerned I think she is saying a lot out of spite. She obviously loved Hef. I watched the Girls Next Door and she was always talking marriage and babies. I think she is bitter things didn't go her way.

Exactly. It sounds a lot like sour grapes. She didn't score the prize she wanted, so now she's trying to make whatever money she can with the book.

She wasn't a victim in any sense. She was there because she wanted to be.

 

[blackkitty4378]

So calling out Hefner for the (IMO) sick things he does means she's playing the victim? That's not how I see it. She's just telling her story… and what I believe is the truth about him. Other people might disagree, and think that because they chose that life, were willing participants, let him do it, therefore it's not wrong. I disagree. I think it's wrong.

 

[DC-Cutie]

So calling out Hefner for the (IMO) sick things he does means she's playing the victim? That's not how I see it. She's just telling her story… and what I believe is the truth about him. Other people might disagree, and think that because they chose that life, were willing participants, let him do it, therefore it's not wrong. I disagree. I think it's wrong.

I think she is playing the victim, because let's face it if Hef had married her she would be 'quiet as kept'. She knew what went on at the mansion, she could have left at anytime. Instead, she chose to stay. No need in crying over spilled milk now...

 

[shiny_things]

They knew what they were getting into, they knew the rules and they knew the deal. They all willingly entered into it. He abused that position but they took advantage of it too. No one has the high ground in this one.

 

[SpeedyJC]

So calling out Hefner for the (IMO) sick things he does means she's playing the victim? That's not how I see it. She's just telling her story… and what I believe is the truth about him. Other people might disagree, and think that because they chose that life, were willing participants, let him do it, therefore it's not wrong. I disagree. I think it's wrong.

In my opinion that's exactly what it means. Holly sold herself to Heffner for years for money, material possessions, fame and now she wants to criticize him and tell her story about how miserable life really was at the mansion. I know a girl like Holly who is being taken care of by a man old enough to be her grandfather and she knows exactly what the situation is. She gets designer shopping sprees, rent paid, doesn't have a job and gets whatever she wants and sugar grandpa gets sex.

I'm not condoning Hefs lifestyle I find all that type of stuff off putting but Holly just comes off as sour grapes. Fact is they both are wrong. Heff should have more respect for women and a Holly shouldn't be selling herself . They are two adults however who made these choices and they have to live with them. I think Holly thought she struck the jackpot but she was replaced. If Heff married her this book wouldn't exist.

 

[blackkitty4378]

IMO putting someone on blast does not make someone a victim... Being a victim would be not moving on with your life while blaming someone else... I don't want to live in a world where no one is called out for their actions. Holly annoyed me more than anyone on their reality show, but I'm happy for her that she realized what she was doing wasn't what she should be doing and left.

I'm interested in her book. Other people aren't, and other people think she's lying, and that's okay.

 

[nastasja]

I'll read her book. I don't think she's lying. But I watched all the GND shows and don't think she was a victim. She was in it to win it. She got two TV shows, Dancing w/the Stars, and a 3-year Vegas show. This book is the last thing she can milk out of the whole Playboy experience.