Hermes Cafe Bon Temps~Good Times Cafe

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#14,716
Pocketbook Pup said:
Thank you for finding these! You are awesome. I really love the skirt. The SA at the rtw event at my local store was wearing one in brown from a past season and it was similar in shape to this black one. I think I like this even better than the pleated one. It's also probably less expensive. The pleated one with the silk was the most expensive skirt they had because of the workmanship involved. I also love the jewelry. Something to look forward to.
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yes, this skirt is timeless and more usable than the pleated one. The pleated one is a show stopper for sure, but this is something you'll be wearing for many many years to come.
The leather looks so supple and gorgeous, it must also feel good to wear, besides looking good!
 
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#14,717
Mindi B said:
RBF is a mildly amusing observation. It is also yet another example of how our society polices every single thing about women. We must have a certain body type with very specific features (big this, small that, flat the other thing), appropriate makeup (a celeb choosing not to wear cosmetics is headline news?), a well-chosen hair style (no "mom hair," gasp). Our clothing must thread the needle every day: not too sexy but not too dowdy and fashionable but age-appropriate but tasteful. . . . Now even our natural facial expression, that thing that, by definition, nobody thinks about, is supposed to be curated to be . . . what? Attractive? Approachable? Youthful? Because Heaven forbid that any woman, ever, doesn't meet the aesthetic expectations of the rest of the world. Yes, I understand that if someone seems to be glowering, this can be off-putting. But only for women is facial expression such an "issue" that it has been given its own, disrespectful title. To summarize my opinion: phooey on RBF.
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Well after dealing with all of that and more I'm a B. So I might as well adopt the face. [emoji23]
 
#14,718
Mindi B said:
RBF is a mildly amusing observation. It is also yet another example of how our society polices every single thing about women. We must have a certain body type with very specific features (big this, small that, flat the other thing), appropriate makeup (a celeb choosing not to wear cosmetics is headline news?), a well-chosen hair style (no "mom hair," gasp). Our clothing must thread the needle every day: not too sexy but not too dowdy and fashionable but age-appropriate but tasteful. . . . Now even our natural facial expression, that thing that, by definition, nobody thinks about, is supposed to be curated to be . . . what? Attractive? Approachable? Youthful? Because Heaven forbid that any woman, ever, doesn't meet the aesthetic expectations of the rest of the world. Yes, I understand that if someone seems to be glowering, this can be off-putting. But only for women is facial expression such an "issue" that it has been given its own, disrespectful title. To summarize my opinion: phooey on RBF.
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Lighten up Mindi. It is applied to males and females both. As I mentioned before, Kayne West is the poster child for RBF.

As an owner of an RBF, i scare and intimidate people. I don't even like looking at myself when my face settles into RBF. I don't consider it a feminist issue. I consider it an interpersonal issue. I don't want to scare people away just because gravity caught up with me.

Body languages signals even to ones self. In my forties, I developed bags under my eyes. It made me feel tired looking at them every morning. I had my eyes done and I no longer felt tired when I looked in the mirror. When I look at my RBF, I don't like the cranky person I see. I want to avoid that person. Your body language sends messages to your brain. Standing confident makes people feel confident. Smiling actually helps people feel happier. Trying to remember to keep a pleasant expression on my face is no worse than trying to maintain good posture.
 
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#14,719
Cordeliere said:
Lighten up Mindi. It is applied to males and females both. As I mentioned before, Kayne West is the poster child for RBF.

As an owner of an RBF, i scare and intimidate people. I don't even like looking at myself when my face settles into RBF. I don't consider it a feminist issue. I consider it an interpersonal issue. I don't want to scare people away just because gravity caught up with me.

Body languages signals even to ones self. In my forties, I developed bags under my eyes. It made me feel tired looking at them every morning. I had my eyes done and I no longer felt tired when I looked in the mirror. When I look at my RBF, I don't like the cranky person I see. I want to avoid that person. Your body language sends messages to your brain. Standing confident makes people feel confident. Smiling actually helps people feel happier. Trying to remember to keep a pleasant expression on my face is no worse than trying to maintain good posture.
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You are so good....and so right. I'll try to only use the glare when absolutely necessary.
 
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#14,720
Well, we will have to agree to disagree on this one, Cordeliere. The phrase is primarily applied to women (thus the B component) and, to me, it is absolutely a feminist issue. So, of course you may feel free to police yourself if you find it appropriate, but with respect, I choose not to "lighten up."
 
#14,721
P.S. Just an interesting side note: just recently, the long-accepted research finding that making a facial expression associated with a specific emotion actually induces that emotion--for example, that smiling makes people feel happier--has proven impossible to replicate. So avoiding RBF may not, in and of itself, lead one to feeling less like a B. I can't speak to the general effectiveness of smiling on those around us, but in most cases, I strive to be less than concerned about whether my appearance is acceptable to others. As long as I am conforming to public decency laws. :p
 
#14,722
I respect your choice not to lighten up. I do want to say one more thing about it. My understand is that the issue with RBF for people that have it is that their body language signals to other people an emotion that they don't actually feel. It is an incongruence between the exterior and interior. So for me it is not an appearance thing, it is a communication thing. I choose to as you say "police" myself because I want to be congruent, not incongruent.
 
#14,724
See, I don't think I actually covey the *****iness that dwells inside me. Some might disagree. But I'd like to be able to say it without words. [emoji23]

Onto another topic. I need help from some of our more fashion forward edgy members. I am wondering what you think of these shoes versus heavy loafers as a comfortable pair of walking shoes to wear with jeans pants or even tights and a skirt.

http://www.scarosso.com/en/women/sh...NKBLAPOLI.html?cgid=women-shoes-monks#start=1
 
#14,725
Cordeliere said:
I respect your choice not to lighten up. I do want to say one more thing about it. My understand is that the issue with RBF for people that have it is that their body language signals to other people an emotion that they don't actually feel. It is an incongruence between the exterior and interior. So for me it is not an appearance thing, it is a communication thing. I choose to as you say "police" myself because I want to be congruent, not incongruent.
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I support this; there is a big difference between people who decide to use the RBF as a posture and those who - for some mix of physical features - end up with it. Being disliked for just being is not a pleasant experience.
 
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#14,726
Cordeliere said:
Yes RBF is a thing and I have it. ha ha The passage of time and gravity contribute to it for me.. There were a bunch of you tube videos about it over the last couple of years. Everyone assumes you are unhappy or annoyed or judgmental. Face reading software says it is faint contempt. Kanye West is the prototype for male RBF. Do not practice it. Don't ever let your face go there for the first time if you can avoid it. It is not a good thing.
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During my breakup with my ex boyfriend, I probably was obviously upset. That b^%# face was turned on "naturally". And during that period I stopped greeting people in the morning too and I even had that face on when going to the cafeteria to fetch lunch. At one point one of my colleagues Mr xxx Johnson queried" who made you so mad all these days? Is everything all right?". Oh well. [emoji23][emoji28]

And thank you Capri for thinking of us. Lots of rescheduling will be happening today and tomorrow. It's a chain reaction: flights, car rental, hotel , show time , day care schedule...[emoji848]
 
#14,727
cremel said:
During my breakup with my ex boyfriend, I probably was obviously upset. That b^%# face was turned on "naturally". And during that period I stopped greeting people in the morning too and I even had that face on when going to the cafeteria to fetch lunch. At one point one of my colleagues Mr xxx Johnson queried" who made you so mad all these days? Is everything all right?". Oh well. [emoji23][emoji28]

And thank you Capri for thinking of us. Lots of rescheduling will be happening today and tomorrow. It's a chain reaction: flights, car rental, hotel , show time , day care schedule...[emoji848]
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I'm so sorry that your vacation was messed up. I suppose it's better now than to be stranded there if there is a storm. But it still stinks.
 
#14,729
Ppup regarding shoes, for comfort I found Tyran Rose design gives you that. Some of her loafers are also good looking. Want to go check those before making decision on this pair?

Sorry Ppup but I am not that into this pair.
 
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