Hermes Cafe Bon Temps~Good Times Cafe

[scarf1]

Good for you losing ten pounds!

If it helps I sent a bunch bag of St John to consignment and did well on it.

My kitchen is a big problem. We are fortunate to have a lot of space including two islands with storage, a butlers pantry, an extra bank of cabinets plus the storage in the formal dining room.

I used to entertain more when I had more time so I have accumulated at least 3-4 sets of dishes, crystal, silver serveware. I think I have three caviar servers. Plus I like to bake so I have a lot of baking supplies. And three ovens that rarely get used at the moment.

I have read the same article about baby boomers not wanting their parents things. Dear MIL gifted me a lot of stuff and I didn't want to hurt her feelings by declining. The more space you have the more you fill or the more other people want to fill it up for you.

Well I do have 3-4 sets of dishes, plus one set I just boxed up to donate. No caviar servers, though. We live in a small, 99 year old house with limited closets, so it was easier to say NO to new items.

I also find it hard to get rid of items that people have given me. What if they ask to see it? What if they ask for it back( MIL has done this in the past!) ?

 

[dharma]

Hello Cafe! @Madam Bijoux , gorgeous stone! Where is your "Oasis"? Is it Tiffany, Cartier or Bulgari?

Books: hmmmm, certainly not a recent or high brow suggestion but I needed something easy and light for a recent plane ride to calm my nerves and I downloaded the 3 book series of Crazy Rich Asians onto my phone. It was fun and silly and all three books have a happy ending. I have never read books on my tiny Iphone before so this was a new experience, but it was very convenient. A very light read with lots of fashion and food. Other than, that I usually read whatever's on DD's reading list at school so we have something to talk about So my current list is 1984 (again!) , Slaughterhouse Five (again!), and The New Jim Crow (new to me).

Here's a topic I am curious about, I'd love to hear members of all ages (and sexes) weigh in. DD, at 17 has her first sort of serious boyfriend. We live in a city where most teens don't drive but they take buses and subways and Ubers everywhere. He lives on the other side of town. DH is upset because he feels that if DD is with him in his neck of the woods, he should ride the bus (or UBER) home with her and walk her to the door, and then return to his neighborhood. He currently waits at the stop with her until she boards. We have met him and he's a nice kid so the first meeting is out of the way. I think in today's world what he is doing is sufficient for after work activities and most daylight adventures. If they ever progress to dinners or formal events I would expect the full drop off procedure. DH posed the question on Facebook and it's interesting to me how many people agree with him , mostly men of his generation that have daughters, yet women think it's a sexist expection and think things are not only fine, but anything more would create other (unwanted) expectations.

Misti, I hope this is ok to ask here, among "friends". I truly mean it as a lighthearted curiousity question and am not expecting, nor do I want, full discussions of values and gender roles.

 

[dharma]

Purging.... UGH. I have so much to do. I have a hard time with clothing, I always miss certain stuff after I get rid of it. I think there's a hoarder hiding inside me On the plus side, DD has been enjoying my 80's Fiorucci wardrobe!!!

 

[nicole0612]

Hello Cafe! @Madam Bijoux , gorgeous stone! Where is your "Oasis"? Is it Tiffany, Cartier or Bulgari?

Books: hmmmm, certainly not a recent or high brow suggestion but I needed something easy and light for a recent plane ride to calm my nerves and I downloaded the 3 book series of Crazy Rich Asians onto my phone. It was fun and silly and all three books have a happy ending. I have never read books on my tiny Iphone before so this was a new experience, but it was very convenient. A very light read with lots of fashion and food. Other than, that I usually read whatever's on DD's reading list at school so we have something to talk about So my current list is 1984 (again!) , Slaughterhouse Five (again!), and The New Jim Crow (new to me).

Here's a topic I am curious about, I'd love to hear members of all ages (and sexes) weigh in. DD, at 17 has her first sort of serious boyfriend. We live in a city where most teens don't drive but they take buses and subways and Ubers everywhere. He lives on the other side of town. DH is upset because he feels that if DD is with him in his neck of the woods, he should ride the bus (or UBER) home with her and walk her to the door, and then return to his neighborhood. He currently waits at the stop with her until she boards. We have met him and he's a nice kid so the first meeting is out of the way. I think in today's world what he is doing is sufficient for after work activities and most daylight adventures. If they ever progress to dinners or formal events I would expect the full drop off procedure. DH posed the question on Facebook and it's interesting to me how many people agree with him , mostly men of his generation that have daughters, yet women think it's a sexist expection and think things are not only fine, but anything more would create other (unwanted) expectations.

Misti, I hope this is ok to ask here, among "friends". I truly mean it as a lighthearted curiousity question and am not expecting, nor do I want, full discussions of values and gender roles.

Interesting and diverse book recommendations...I have only read one of the 4
Regarding your situation with DD. I think that your statement "...think things are not only fine, but anything more would create other (unwanted) expectations." is dead on - that's what I was thinking in my head.
I think my most practical view of the situation is that I would prefer for my hypothetical DD to part with her BF in a public area, vs at a house (especially if you are out sometimes when he drops her off). When I was dating I preferred to leave on my own terms - in my own vehicle or transport method of choice - not be accompanied or dropped off, and I think that is a good pattern for your daughter to get used to as she gets close to college age.

 

[Cordeliere]

DH's mother died in 2006 and mine in 2008. I was the one who emptied out both their homes. I felt ill the entire time I did MIL because she had 6 of everything. I don't know why that made me nauseous but it did. I took back furniture I had loaned her. Her granddaughter took a few pictures from her 6 boxes of photos. Everything else went to goodwill. I was pretty thrilled when the remaining 5 boxes of pictures disappeared in our move from CA to FL. DH has a bit of the hoarder instinct in him and I couldn't get him to let them go.

My mother lived sparsely except for financial and legal documents. She had every "important" paper going back to 1947. I started thinning those out when she developed Alzheimers. The cool thing for me was I found papers explaining that "other engagement ring" she had in the drawer and the other marriage she always hid from me. I actually had a good time giving away her furniture because it went to second cousins needing to furnish a house and they were happy to get it. And she had a low milage pristine old Caddy that I gave to other second cousins who were really happy to get it. It was a happy experience. It was like being Santa Claus to a lot of people who were actually thrilled.

But the experience really had a profound effect on me. I don't want someone else to go through what I did. I did a major purge before moving across country. I have done 3 clothing purges but that is the hardest. I still need to do a fourth. I still love the remaining clothes but they don't work in this climate and for my retired lifesyle. They are not worth selling but I wish I could find a happy way to get rid of them.

Pbp's purges inspired me to gather up the bags and scarves I don't use. I made a pile today. The thing I am having a hard time letting go of is my Fendi spy bag. It was my first big time bag and I still like it, but I can't get myself to use it, so I need to set it free. It is too big and black for FL. On a lot of things, I am telling myself, use it or let it go. That applies to the vintage vache kelly. I love it but it doesn't go with my jewel tone wardrobe. Or scarves with any trace of orange in them. It is a weird kind of discipline to get rid of stuff I love but won't use. It feels kind of good once the decision is made. It feels especially good to get rid of my Hermes mistakes. I will use the money to get some other things on my wishlist. I am already mentally spending the proceeds.

 

[bunnycat]

Great pictures! I especially loved your knot with the Mors. I have had the Mors scarf ring for years just sitting in a box and have never worn it. Lol! I wish someone would do a post on 10 ways to wear the Mors.

Here you go prepster! I put it in the new how to wear your scarf thread, since there's no real tut with any of it...

https://forum.purseblog.com/threads...u-incorporate-them-into-your-wardrobe.969994/

 

[EmileH]

Cordie what a nice story. And you were so smart not to move a lot of stuff across the country. My DH has a bit of a hoarder streak too. I sometimes get rid of things that he won't notice.

I had a similar experience cleaning out my aunt's house. I split up the proceeds to my cousins. She was a bit of a hoarder and a shopaholic. Family trait [emoji33]??? It was a lot of work but I found some special things- photos from my christening and letters from my father. Along with an autographed copy of Richard Nixon's memoir. [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[scarf1]

DH's mother died in 2006 and mine in 2008. I was the one who emptied out both their homes. I felt ill the entire time I did MIL because she had 6 of everything. I don't know why that made me nauseous but it did. I took back furniture I had loaned her. Her granddaughter took a few pictures from her 6 boxes of photos. Everything else went to goodwill. I was pretty thrilled when the remaining 5 boxes of pictures disappeared in our move from CA to FL. DH has a bit of the hoarder instinct in him and I couldn't get him to let them go.

My mother lived sparsely except for financial and legal documents. She had every "important" paper going back to 1947. I started thinning those out when she developed Alzheimers. The cool thing for me was I found papers explaining that "other engagement ring" she had in the drawer and the other marriage she always hid from me. I actually had a good time giving away her furniture because it went to second cousins needing to furnish a house and they were happy to get it. And she had a low milage pristine old Caddy that I gave to other second cousins who were really happy to get it. It was a happy experience. It was like being Santa Claus to a lot of people who were actually thrilled.

But the experience really had a profound effect on me. I don't want someone else to go through what I did. I did a major purge before moving across country. I have done 3 clothing purges but that is the hardest. I still need to do a fourth. I still love the remaining clothes but they don't work in this climate and for my retired lifesyle. They are not worth selling but I wish I could find a happy way to get rid of them.

Pbp's purges inspired me to gather up the bags and scarves I don't use. I made a pile today. The thing I am having a hard time letting go of is my Fendi spy bag. It was my first big time bag and I still like it, but I can't get myself to use it, so I need to set it free. It is too big and black for FL. On a lot of things, I am telling myself, use it or let it go. That applies to the vintage vache kelly. I love it but it doesn't go with my jewel tone wardrobe. Or scarves with any trace of orange in them. It is a weird kind of discipline to get rid of stuff I love but won't use. It feels kind of good once the decision is made. It feels especially good to get rid of my Hermes mistakes. I will use the money to get some other things on my wishlist. I am already mentally spending the proceeds.

One of the scarves on my sell list, also has bits of orange...

My mom died in 2009, and Dad Died in 2010. They had been in the same house since 1956. Your MIL sounds like my Dad- he was starting to have some mental issues- our conclusion on the multiples was - it was easier to go buy a new hammer, wrench, whatever than find one he already had. They also had mountains of paper- like Xmas cards they received over the years. They also had paperwork from my mothers uncle and aunt including tax returns from the 1930s and 40s. Did you realize the marginal tax rate used to be 90%? They still had the tax tables from that... it took almost a year to clean out the house, partly because my single brother dragged his feet. I kept more things than I should have, but have let a few items go that I kept originally. I think I needed some time to have them in my possession, and now ready to let them go make someone else happy. Both my brother and I are childless so we gave a lot of items to my niece, and the daughters of a close friend. Donated a lot, sold a few items, and finally had to pay a "junk" service to take away the rest so we could empty the house before selling.
I still have a big box photos that I need to go through and scan.

 

[scarf1]

Cordie what a nice story. And you were so smart not to move a lot of stuff across the country. My DH has a bit of a hoarder streak too. I sometimes get rid of things that he won't notice.

I had a similar experience cleaning out my aunt's house. I split up the proceeds to my cousins. She was a bit of a hoarder and a shopaholic. Family trait [emoji33]??? It was a lot of work but I found some special things- photos from my christening and letters from my father. Along with an autographed copy of Richard Nixon's memoir. [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

That is nice! Yes I found some things like that also.
Like my parents, I am a bit of a hoarder...

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Hello Cafe! @Madam Bijoux , gorgeous stone! Where is your "Oasis"? Is it Tiffany, Cartier or Bulgari?

Books: hmmmm, certainly not a recent or high brow suggestion but I needed something easy and light for a recent plane ride to calm my nerves and I downloaded the 3 book series of Crazy Rich Asians onto my phone. It was fun and silly and all three books have a happy ending. I have never read books on my tiny Iphone before so this was a new experience, but it was very convenient. A very light read with lots of fashion and food. Other than, that I usually read whatever's on DD's reading list at school so we have something to talk about So my current list is 1984 (again!) , Slaughterhouse Five (again!), and The New Jim Crow (new to me).

Here's a topic I am curious about, I'd love to hear members of all ages (and sexes) weigh in. DD, at 17 has her first sort of serious boyfriend. We live in a city where most teens don't drive but they take buses and subways and Ubers everywhere. He lives on the other side of town. DH is upset because he feels that if DD is with him in his neck of the woods, he should ride the bus (or UBER) home with her and walk her to the door, and then return to his neighborhood. He currently waits at the stop with her until she boards. We have met him and he's a nice kid so the first meeting is out of the way. I think in today's world what he is doing is sufficient for after work activities and most daylight adventures. If they ever progress to dinners or formal events I would expect the full drop off procedure. DH posed the question on Facebook and it's interesting to me how many people agree with him , mostly men of his generation that have daughters, yet women think it's a sexist expection and think things are not only fine, but anything more would create other (unwanted) expectations.

Misti, I hope this is ok to ask here, among "friends". I truly mean it as a lighthearted curiousity question and am not expecting, nor do I want, full discussions of values and gender roles.

Hi, Dharma
My oasis is Winthorpe and Valentine's bar at the Westin Hotel.

 

[Cordeliere]

One of the scarves on my sell list, also has bits of orange...

Dear, you are indirectly responsible for my decision. to get rid of scarves with orange. Scarf1 says "What? Me?" Looking at all of your beautiful moussies today made me decide I must start wearing the UTW moussie I was so extremely thrilled to find at Charles DeGaulle last summer. I love looking at it in the drawer because all I see is the blue and purple. Put it on after looking at yours today and went holy ____, where did all that yellow and orange come from. I can't wear this.

Then I immediately went to the pictures of scarves on my wish list and deleted anything with orange. My wishlist got immensely shorter. Look how much money you saved me.

 

[scarf1]

Dear, you are indirectly responsible for my decision. to get rid of scarves with orange Scarf1 says "What? Me?" Looking at all of your beautiful moussies today made me decide I must start wearing the UTW moussie I was so extremely thrilled to find at Charles DeGaulle last summer. I love looking at it in the drawer because all I see is the blue and purple. Put it on after looking at yours today and went holy ____, where did all that yellow and orange come from. I can't wear this.

Then I immediately went to the pictures of scarves on my wish list and deleted anything with orange. My wishlist got immensely shorter. Look how much money you saved me.

You make me laugh! Would love to see a group shot of the H scarves you are planning to divest.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I do get this email, Nicole, but like you I need to refresh my profile as not a lot tempts me. I also get ideas from Vulture, Digg and some other emails I get daily.


I had the pleasure of seeing this beauty in person a few weeks ago. MadamB certainly has an enviable jewelry collection.

Look at that bling bling!!! Love your bling bling!![emoji173]️

Pretty shiny diamonds!
ETA: This is basically the design of my upgraded engagement ring. I'm a fan.

Oh rainneday! 8! Bless you! Kittens?? Or general rabble rousers?



Oh my goodness Cordeliere! I think I would run if that were in the horizon...



Ah. Yasssss! The best place for bling pics. Under trees! Beautiful!

I do get this email, Nicole, but like you I need to refresh my profile as not a lot tempts me. I also get ideas from Vulture, Digg and some other emails I get daily.


I had the pleasure of seeing this beauty in person a few weeks ago. MadamB certainly has an enviable jewelry collection.

Hello Cafe! @Madam Bijoux , gorgeous stone! Where is your "Oasis"? Is it Tiffany, Cartier or Bulgari?

Books: hmmmm, certainly not a recent or high brow suggestion but I needed something easy and light for a recent plane ride to calm my nerves and I downloaded the 3 book series of Crazy Rich Asians onto my phone. It was fun and silly and all three books have a happy ending. I have never read books on my tiny Iphone before so this was a new experience, but it was very convenient. A very light read with lots of fashion and food. Other than, that I usually read whatever's on DD's reading list at school so we have something to talk about So my current list is 1984 (again!) , Slaughterhouse Five (again!), and The New Jim Crow (new to me).

Here's a topic I am curious about, I'd love to hear members of all ages (and sexes) weigh in. DD, at 17 has her first sort of serious boyfriend. We live in a city where most teens don't drive but they take buses and subways and Ubers everywhere. He lives on the other side of town. DH is upset because he feels that if DD is with him in his neck of the woods, he should ride the bus (or UBER) home with her and walk her to the door, and then return to his neighborhood. He currently waits at the stop with her until she boards. We have met him and he's a nice kid so the first meeting is out of the way. I think in today's world what he is doing is sufficient for after work activities and most daylight adventures. If they ever progress to dinners or formal events I would expect the full drop off procedure. DH posed the question on Facebook and it's interesting to me how many people agree with him , mostly men of his generation that have daughters, yet women think it's a sexist expection and think things are not only fine, but anything more would create other (unwanted) expectations.

Misti, I hope this is ok to ask here, among "friends". I truly mean it as a lighthearted curiousity question and am not expecting, nor do I want, full discussions of values and gender roles.

Many thanks, everyone! (I still can't get the multi quotes right.)

 

[lulilu]

So nice to hear about all the good stories re purging -- not only a less cluttered home, but so many donations! Nice!

 

[Cordeliere]

You make me laugh! Would love to see a group shot of the H scarves you are planning to divest.

I gasped when I read that. Today I had put UTW and L'annee des etoiles in the purge pile, but it had not become concrete for me that there would be others getting kicked out for the "no orange" rule. I realized I didn't know who else was on the chopping block. This could be bad. I have used up every ounce of purging courage. But being determined to face the music, I brought all my scarves down (not hard with a small collection) and examined them. I realized (gasp again) that there are some scarves that have orange that I totally don't see the orange.





The scarves in the top row are ones that I consider to have no orange. The middle and bottom rows do. Beloved India--while technically orange, it looks more salmon to me. That is ok. Same with the orange in Tohu Bohu. But where did that screaming orange hem come from on Rencontres Oceanes? I wear that a lot but don't see it because of how I tie it. And my 2 feu du ciels. I totally don't see the orange in the 90. The purple drowns it out. And the way the gavroche ties, I don't see it. But my beloved La Charmante aux Animaux almost never makes it to my neck because....its too orange. Must get in different colorway as I love, love, love the pattern. And Dans un Jardin Anglais..... I never wear it and I thought it was because the shade of purple is too adolescent lavender even for a purple addict like me. But not I realize the blades of grass are friggin orange. Out orange grass!

So 4 out of 18. That is almost 25% of my collection. I don't know whether I should be that my small collection is shrinking or that i will have more money to spend on new things. Because we have all the heavy investment in bricks and mortar behind us, I am doing some serious shopping and trying not to get carried away...you know...space it out a little.....try not blow a big wad of money in one month. But it is making me anxious as I can't decide what to buy first. So I am really happy to have those potential orange tinged mistakes off the list.

Scarf1, no more pointed questions from you. These decisions are exhausting me.