Help me stop wanting more bags!!

[julia.pa]

you‘re definitely not alone darling! a few weeks ago i was literally the same as you and now all of a sudden it stopped.
honestly i bought a bag, used it and already thought about the next bag to purchase so that basically i never even enjoyed my handbags because i bought so many in such a short time that it absolutely made no sense. and then all of a sudden all the bags i was lusting after and then saw in real life, i was disappointed with and didn‘t even like that much. that happened with several bags so i kind of said to myself „well, that seems to be a sign. everything i love online just doesn‘t look how i thought it would so maybe it‘s time to use what i already own and enjoy that“.
basically, i‘m happy with my current collection now and everything i see online just looks pretty to me from afar but is not my actual style or fits my lifestyle. i just get drawn in by all the pretty pictures online and think i love it too when in reality i actually don‘t. it took a while for me to realize that and now i‘m somewhat happy with what i already got.

 

[lulu_ma]

Thanks for your responses guys. I really appreciate all the insight. I've started to appreciate what I have already all of a sudden and have really dug deep to see what I should do next. I've decided to focus on exercising more and becoming healthy. That is my current project and I have read that exercise helps you feel better, less anxious so perhaps if I fill my time with more important things that are good for me, I won't really have the energy to lust over new things. I've also blocked websites that will tempt me to buy more stuff. So far so good but so difficult!! thanks for all your support I really appreciate it.

By the way, I found that if I post pictures of items I already have and talk about those things (on this forum because it's hard to quit tpf), I feel more love towards them and don't feel the need to buy more. I don't know if that works for anyone else.

Thanks for your honest and thought provoking post. I think all of us have been in the place that you are talking about, the constant state of wanting and dissatisfaction. Frankly, sites like Tpf and Facebook feed this modern obsession for group approval.

For me, my obsession is more with fine jewelry. A few months ago, I went through a period of indulging. In hindsight, I think it was ptsd from dealing with my dad's cancer fight and a big home repair due to a N'oreaster. My buying frenzy has died down and now I am more focused on eating better and leading a healthier lifestyle. But I still love going on Tpf. I did read an article about the keys to happiness. One of the key components is gratitude. When I am feeling antsy, I try to take mental stock of the many things I should be grateful for. It definitely helps.

Thanks for sharing and glad to hear that you are doing well!

 

[Jane Courtois]

I am having the same problem with this. I love purses, and I keep buying them constantly everytime I go to Goodwill or wherever else I go to shop. I feel that I can never be satisfied with the purses I have. How can I stop myself from buying more and more purses? I already have a shelf full of purses that A. I rarely use or B. Want and THINK I need.
I need some help here as I am thinking about downsizing and getting rid of some that I don't think I need and having a neater room.
For Lent I am thinking about giving up buying purses for 40 days and see how well that goes.
Honestly, what can I do here? I am stuck and overwhelmed with all the purses I have!
Thanks! Any advice will be appreciated!

 

[guccilover21]

I am having the same problem with this. I love purses, and I keep buying them constantly everytime I go to Goodwill or wherever else I go to shop. I feel that I can never be satisfied with the purses I have. How can I stop myself from buying more and more purses? I already have a shelf full of purses that A. I rarely use or B. Want and THINK I need.
I need some help here as I am thinking about downsizing and getting rid of some that I don't think I need and having a neater room.
For Lent I am thinking about giving up buying purses for 40 days and see how well that goes.
Honestly, what can I do here? I am stuck and overwhelmed with all the purses I have!
Thanks! Any advice will be appreciated!

What worked for me was purging my collection down to 5 premier bags that I really love and I kept 3 contemporary (would like to purge further at some point) and then I found I loved the space and to rotate my favourites as much as possible. I also focussed on my weight loss journey which took my mind off of bags. I’m also doing a no spend few months which has been good. I still come on here and ask bag related questions but do not feel I have to purchase although maybe best to stay away from here. Finally, I just feel like I’ve gotten shopping over load on YouTube which just makes me feel sick of looking at luxury for now. Good luck with your journey!

 

[Jane Courtois]

What worked for me was purging my collection down to 5 premier bags that I really love and I kept 3 contemporary (would like to purge further at some point) and then I found I loved the space and to rotate my favourites as much as possible. I also focussed on my weight loss journey which took my mind off of bags. I’m also doing a no spend few months which has been good. I still come on here and ask bag related questions but do not feel I have to purchase although maybe best to stay away from here. Finally, I just feel like I’ve gotten shopping over load on YouTube which just makes me feel sick of looking at luxury for now. Good luck with your journey!

Thanks guccilover21! I will try that and try to learn new hobbies as well! I appreciate your time and advice! Have a great day!

 

[Shelby33]

I am having the same problem with this. I love purses, and I keep buying them constantly everytime I go to Goodwill or wherever else I go to shop. I feel that I can never be satisfied with the purses I have. How can I stop myself from buying more and more purses? I already have a shelf full of purses that A. I rarely use or B. Want and THINK I need.
I need some help here as I am thinking about downsizing and getting rid of some that I don't think I need and having a neater room.
For Lent I am thinking about giving up buying purses for 40 days and see how well that goes.
Honestly, what can I do here? I am stuck and overwhelmed with all the purses I have!
Thanks! Any advice will be appreciated!

We have a store like Goodwill called Savers and every time I go I look at the bags. I have a lot I don't use anymore, I had good luck selling on Poshmark so will do that again.
Maybe go through your bags and see which ones you use and which ones you don't and start from there? That's all I can think of because I still haven't figured out how to stop buying, especially when I find them so cheap!

 

[Sparkletastic]

What stopped my buying, buying, buying was a few things working together:
1) Getting bags I really loved: I had a ridiculous number of bags - over 150. They were nice (Coach, MK, a couple of Pradas, etc.) but, I didn’t love any of them. Being on tPF inspired me to be brave and sell every single one and buy the relatively fewer (26) premier bags that I really love. I was cheaping out on myself. Now, I (carefully) spoil myself.

2) Getting bags I actually wear: Even when I started the purge and reboot, I kept buying bags the wrong style and function because they were beautiful. Once I accepted I prefer feminine, small to medium, shoulder bags / cross bodies, I bought bags that I happily wear. No more purse museums.

3) Focusing on enjoying and wearing my bags: Joining the Shopping Your Closet thread has been transformative. I have a little family of pocket friends who will discuss purchases with me before I make them, hold me accountable on my buying (or not buying) goals and help me have fun with the bags I have. It’s like a cross between AA and an online pajama party. If any of you want supportive, friendly, accountability partners you should really participate in this thread. https://forum.purseblog.com/threads...g-and-wallet-collection-any-one-else.1001687/

4) Knowing I like to hunt and focusing that zest where it’s needed: When I got my collection to 85% perfect, I realized I didn’t have clothes as pretty as my bags. So, I started refreshing my wardrobe - especially my shoes. I’m applying the principles I’ve learned in my handbag journey (to thoughtfully and deliberately buy beautiful things that are exactly what I want for the life / body I have) and I’m really enjoying it. It’s fun to now have outfits that aren’t overshadowed by my handbags because my clothes and shoes look great too! When I’m finished with my wardrobe, I’ll do a hard left turn and find a another fun non clothing activity to take up that mental space.

HTH! And, good luck with your health and fitness plans.

 

[Jane Courtois]

We have a store like Goodwill called Savers and every time I go I look at the bags. I have a lot I don't use anymore, I had good luck selling on Poshmark so will do that again.
Maybe go through your bags and see which ones you use and which ones you don't and start from there? That's all I can think of because I still haven't figured out how to stop buying, especially when I find them so cheap!

Yeah I know. Finding them cheap to me were good deals. I gave almost all of them to my Piano teacher. Her sister loves purses and some women in her congregation can use them. I am on a purse binge and NOT buying anymore purses for a few months. guccilover21 had a great idea and I followed through and got rid of them. Now I just need to get rid of the ones on the patio and I will be a happy camper! But I now just decided to sell them at a community yard sale in the summertime. Thanks guys for your advice! Appreciate it!

 

[BagLover2334]

We are in the same boat, guccilover!
I realize that I am addicted to bags and always have been.
As soon as I buy a new bag, I look for another one.
To resist temptation, while browsing the Internet, I put one of my most expensive bags in front of me and ask myself " do you really think the ones you fancy can compete with that bag?"
It sometimes works.
I think we should ask ourselves why we can't stop buying
Are we really interested in a new bag itself or does it only represent something we are waiting for, something filling a void, like a perspective we absolutely need?

I agree 100%. If you can never find something you like out of all the variety that's given to you, then it's probably not because of the bags, but because you feel like you need something to validate yourself in some way. We aren't therapists on TPF, but if you feel like your habits are going to be detrimental to your financial way of living, then I would STRONGLY suggest stop shopping and go to a personal therapist. We can't help you fully here because we do not know you as much as you do yourself.

 

[BagLover2334]

What worked for me was purging my collection down to 5 premier bags that I really love and I kept 3 contemporary (would like to purge further at some point) and then I found I loved the space and to rotate my favourites as much as possible. I also focussed on my weight loss journey which took my mind off of bags. I’m also doing a no spend few months which has been good. I still come on here and ask bag related questions but do not feel I have to purchase although maybe best to stay away from here. Finally, I just feel like I’ve gotten shopping over load on YouTube which just makes me feel sick of looking at luxury for now. Good luck with your journey!

I also recommend telling yourself every time you buy a bag, that bag is here to stay; write it on your phone, diary, notepad, whatever. This could then force you to reconsider if you TRULY want the bag.

 

[Mariapia]

I agree 100%. If you can never find something you like out of all the variety that's given to you, then it's probably not because of the bags, but because you feel like you need something to validate yourself in some way. We aren't therapists on TPF, but if you feel like your habits are going to be detrimental to your financial way of living, then I would STRONGLY suggest stop shopping and go to a personal therapist. We can't help you fully here because we do not know you as much as you do yourself.

Going to a personal therapist would, in the end, cost me much more than what I spend on bags....

 

[BagLover2334]

Going to a personal therapist would, in the end, cost me much more than what I spend on bags....

Well, I was only suggesting that IF it was destroying you or your family financially or mentally. I did give a rather cheap alternative.

 

[lightwave]

I have always felt the criteria for spending is that if I saw an item I liked but had forgotten my wallet at home (pretending), is it so important that I would be inclined to drive all the way home and back just to buy it? Most of the time my answer is no, like 99.9%. Usually that item will be forgotten by tomorrow, which is another way to tell...waiting for a day or so. For online shopping, a different pretend scenario would have to be used, since sitting in a chair and clicking the buy button does not cause inconvenience, LOL. Maybe ask yourself if the purchase required having to get up and go to the bank to transfer the funds or whatever, would it be that crucial. Anyway, I think that’s a good way to discern what is impulse and what’s not.

That said though, sometimes there might be something that you love which only comes around once / will likely not stick around / one of a kind thing that will be gone by tomorrow (like at Marshall’s, for example), so if it’s something you can afford (cash!!) and you’d really really kick yourself over losing it, then it might be worth considering. There was one bag a couple decades ago that I saw in a store, loved, never bought, and still think of to this day. I can still picture it. I wish I would have bought it. OTOH, there are plenty of other things I’ve seen and liked that I am not at all sorry I passed up.

I think today in this world of information overload and internet, it’s easy to get caught up in the endless shopping opportunity, so one just has to be more mindful and discerning. If a purchase is to impress others, then it’s already on the wrong track, IMO.

There are excellent condition bags around that can be had cheaply without putting a strain on finances, but still give the pleasure of buying / having a different bag once in a while, that won’t be $$$$$$$$$. But it’s also to find usefulness in what you already have, like the saying about our own back yard.

 

[250gilly]

I searched out this topic, as sometimes I feel I also have a problem with purchasing bags. I used to use one bag - have my favourite and use it until it needed to retire, and then buy the next one and use it exclusively. Something happened! I’m not sure what. I think I started to appreciate bags - the leather, the design, the structure and the function of them. I started to buy more bags, that had a different function, a different configuration. I found contemporary designs and thought I was the bees knees purchasing a ‘designer’ bag. When I bought my LV I thought that would be it - I had my holy grail, and didnt need anything else. But it wasnt my perfect bag - its a tote, and I love totes, but it was a GM Neverfull, and I soon felt a bit ridiculous popping to the shops to get a few things, carrying this ginormous tote. So then I downsized to a smaller tote, then saw a different size in canvas that was really cute, and then wanted it to be a bit more upmarket in leather and purchase a Michael Kors, then bought the mini version. Ive gotten to the point where I try not to duplicate designs/colours, as I feel I have a bag for every occasion and colours to go with most outfits. It slowed me down ( a little) and I’m pretty happy with my current selection. Will see how that goes. I felt a bit bad as today I purchased a bag which is quite different to my normal tastes. I’m hesitant, but I fell in love with it in the store a few weeks ago and patiently waited for a sale. I’m pretty strategic with my purchases and try not to pay full price if I dont have to. I love bags and they do bring me happiness (but not the only thing!). I feel it is the one thing that I love spending my money on, love carrying, and spend time appreciating my collection.

 

[Fimpagebag]

I searched out this topic, as sometimes I feel I also have a problem with purchasing bags. I used to use one bag - have my favourite and use it until it needed to retire, and then buy the next one and use it exclusively. Something happened! I’m not sure what. I think I started to appreciate bags - the leather, the design, the structure and the function of them. I started to buy more bags, that had a different function, a different configuration. I found contemporary designs and thought I was the bees knees purchasing a ‘designer’ bag. When I bought my LV I thought that would be it - I had my holy grail, and didnt need anything else. But it wasnt my perfect bag - its a tote, and I love totes, but it was a GM Neverfull, and I soon felt a bit ridiculous popping to the shops to get a few things, carrying this ginormous tote. So then I downsized to a smaller tote, then saw a different size in canvas that was really cute, and then wanted it to be a bit more upmarket in leather and purchase a Michael Kors, then bought the mini version. Ive gotten to the point where I try not to duplicate designs/colours, as I feel I have a bag for every occasion and colours to go with most outfits. It slowed me down ( a little) and I’m pretty happy with my current selection. Will see how that goes. I felt a bit bad as today I purchased a bag which is quite different to my normal tastes. I’m hesitant, but I fell in love with it in the store a few weeks ago and patiently waited for a sale. I’m pretty strategic with my purchases and try not to pay full price if I dont have to. I love bags and they do bring me happiness (but not the only thing!). I feel it is the one thing that I love spending my money on, love carrying, and spend time appreciating my collection.

The only thing I can possibly add to such an excellent post is that a life devoid of what some might consider an obsession is also a life devoid of passion.