Have You Ever Disappeared?

#16
claireZk said:
Yes. It's not something I'm proud of, but I can be very avoidant/detached and it's something I struggle with.
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This describes me to a T. I've been lucky enough to keep some friends who are totally understanding about it and don't take it as a personal affront on our friendship. They just check in now and then and eventually I respond.

I think the reason I can be so candid with my tPF friends is because there is a level of built in detachment that I find "comfortable", for lack of a better word.

In many cases in real life, I literally just drop off a the radar. Weeks, months, even years at a time.

Sadly, doing this has lost me a family who took me in when my own deserted me. I feel I owe them an apology, but I can't promise it won't happen again, so I leave it alone. I know I must have hurt them.
 
#17
yes...one from a relationship. and i have never regretted that for a moment.

and then from most of my distant family [aunts/uncles/grandparents]...it seems to just work better that way. i can't stand their stupidity and hypocrisy so i stay away from them and they have no way to contact me.
 
#18
Echoes said:
I'm not so much talking about drifting off from people but staying in the same area. I'm talking about moving away, changing job fields, different vehicle(s), wiping or at least masking your web presence. Some combination of those things. No chance of bumping into them at a store.

I'm in the middle of wiping some web tracks now. Disassociating myself with certain web groups. A disappearance in the virtual world from people who never knew where I lived to begin with and never knew my name.
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Missed this. In my case, very, very few people - not even some of my friends know where I live or work. So, not exactly the same, but certainly the same result.

Hope everything is ok! When I do this, it's not usually a good sign.
 
#19
Echoes said:
I'm not so much talking about drifting off from people but staying in the same area. I'm talking about moving away, changing job fields, different vehicle(s), wiping or at least masking your web presence. Some combination of those things. No chance of bumping into them at a store.

I'm in the middle of wiping some web tracks now. Disassociating myself with certain web groups. A disappearance in the virtual world from people who never knew where I lived to begin with and never knew my name.
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No. The furthest I have gone was that if I did bump into the other (incredibly rare), we didn't speak to each other or pretend to not see each other.

However, I do see myself disappearing in the future in the way you mean. I will be in a different area with no way to contact me, cut off all ties, no shared info on where I'll work or live, etc. I see myself doing this against my brother and his family for sure and most probably with my parents unless I can trust them to protect my identity and info, but I don't think I can. They've failed me many times before.
 
#21
I have, but just once. I actually moved across the country with no forwarding address, no warning to anyone. My name was never on a lease where I moved, so although I could technically have been tracked (perhaps by law enforcement), no one I knew would have known how to begin. And I had no internet presence at the time. It was very refreshing.
 
#22
I disappeared from social networking sites for several months. I deleted my MySpace, Facebook, and even my E-Mail address. Most of my friends freaked out and thought I'd dropped off the face of the earth. But, I just needed a break from all that stuff, and needed some time to step away from everyone and everything. Truthfully, it was kind of liberating. And, no, I never regretted it.
 
#23
I guess I've never disappeared to where people thought I was dead, or something dramatic like that. When I was in HS, I took almost a month out of school for illness. When I got back one of my friends (he was a funny kid, and knew exactly what was going on) told everyone I got hit by a bus lmao. Mind you, he didnt tell them I was DEAD, but everyone just assumed. It gave me a good laugh when I was able to finally get back to school! I knwo its not the same thing...but this thread made me think of that.

Anyway, I cut people out of my life VERY easily. Way too easy, actually. I have my reasons for why I cut people out of my life, and I havent regretted it, yet.
 
#24
I never have, but I think I might need to soon. I'm just taking time to find a new apartment, figure out transportation (fractured leg), and save some money. I need to get off of myspace/facebook. I know that to move on I need to get my stuff out when he isn't home and disappear.
 
#26
i have... i regret doing it for the friends i lost, but it happened because i was going thru a stressful time in my life and it was hard to stay in touch with anyone. sometimes we all just need to get away and recoup. hopefully we have friends or family who understand it.
 
#27
I'm the type of person who when I bring people into my life (as a love interest, friend, family member, whatever) I do whatever I can to keep in touch with them and keep them around I don't bring anyone into my life that I'm going to throw away or anything like that. The closest I've come though is when I dumped my first boyfriend (he lived in Sicily, I had been there for a while with him and then come back here when school started) I thought hey that'd be it but it's odd, we actually ended up really staying in touch and we still talk all the time. So I guess my only attempt didn't work lol but I'm glad it didn't
 
#28
One of my closest friends is a drinking alcoholic. I stuck by him for years and helplessly watched as the alcohol destroyed his life. He was functional for a long time but then everything started to fall apart. He looked like he!!, he lost his wife, his job, his houses and wrecked his car almost killing someone. One night he called me drunk in the middle of the night to tell me he had wrecked his car again and nearly killed someone again. That was the last time I ever spoke to him. I stopped taking his calls, changed my number, moved, and changed my last name. Still love him and miss him terribly but I will never speak to him again unless he stops drinking. I regularly check the obituaries looking for him.
 
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