I have a couple of comments.
Respectfully, no one "loves" paying fees for any types of services but the venues, contractors, stores, etc. all have overhead, all provide services and their services are worth something. They deserve to be paid for what they provide.
And at 10%, ebay's fees are among the most reasonable and lowest, especially for the amount of traffic they bring to YOUR items.
With that said, I think you've miscalculated either the amount you sold or the fees you paid ebay because for $1200 in sales, your FVF would have been $120 (10%). If you added upgrades to your listings, paid insertion fees, or other add-ons, the fee would rise but certainly not to $400. (There'd have been additional fees charged for shipping if you charged separately.)
As for charging FVF on shipping, you have dishonest, cheating and scheming sellers to thank for that. There was a time when FVF was charged on the selling price and shipping was FVF-free. But many sellers would sell their $1000 LV bag for $99 and charge $800 for shipping. Or their
Coach bag would be $9.99 plus $60 shipping.
This went on for years before ebay got SMART enough to figure out a way to combat it. Now all sellers (honest and not) pay FVF in the full payment amount, including shipping.
I'm not a fan of a lot of what ebay does - how they treat their community, the seeming lopsidedness in dispute resolution, the inaccurate and misleading information CS people give callers or a lot of other things but I get the most bang for my buck there and I either suck it up and accept or I walk away. (I posted on the Tradesy thread how I did walk away several years ago.)
Put your money where your mouth is.