I just don't understand that person (Kimf79) saying ppl with larger stones are trying to compensate for something...
Does wearing your bling make you feel more confident or more self-conscious?
- Thread starter ame
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It's not those women.
I'm a woman 3/ a 3+ carat ring and I don't say that to others and I'm also not missing something in my relationship
It's usually guys or young or ignorant girls that say it. Like I said before, I think they say it w/o thinking. Last time I remember someone saying it to me was a single Starbucks barista. I sat down and told DH about the stupid comment I received and he said "he just wanted to talk to you, he didn't know it would sound so stupid I'm sure".
I get equally idiotic comment about my twins. People want to say something but I guess struggle for what to say{?} and out pops something stupid like "wow! Someone must really love you!" or when they ask if boy/girl twins are identical :weird:
I'm a twin and believe me the things people will ask u and them NEVER get old. There are just some plain stupid questions asked! My mum always tells other moms of younger twins that it gets easier, obviously she knows what those younger mothers have gone through. The stupidest comment I've received is when someone tells me and my sister that we are identical after we have told them we are fraternal. People seem to think being an identical twins has everything to do with how you look and nothing to do with what happened in the womb.
^I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but are you sure that you said what you mean? I've never heard or seen or even heard 2nd hand of any woman with a larger stone thinking that someone with a smaller stone has a DH who loves them less. honestly, with all due respect, that is a ridiculous statement. so by your logic, the women that I know who have 3+ carat e-rings MUST think that women who don't wear an e-ring at all are sadly married to men who don't love them at all??? it's possible that people with bigger diamonds are overcompensating, but I would say it's the MAN who gives the stone who is overcompensating. is this something you've actually heard someone say, or is this just your opinion???
:weird:^that has been 100% my experience as well. I always think it's a snide form of jealousy...a backhanded compliment.
^I was too shocked & confused for laughterFor sure!!! That's why I guess we should just laugh it off!!!
I don't think Kimf79 is planning to respond at all (if she is even still on the thread).
She definitely made a tactless remark that was not nice.
However, in my opinion, the thread took a turn that was--well, thoughtless-- somewhat before her, with the remarks about 1 and 1.5 carat rings being 'smaller'. I'm sure that no offense was meant, however I think it can't hurt to keep being aware that what we see posted on these threads is not necessarily representative of what most people have (to be clearer, people with the larger rings tend to be the ones to post);that the average ring in the U.S. is .33 carats and that I am sure that the average on these boards (especially among younger, recently engaged women) is not far off from that. I'm sure we all want to be sensitive to each other--and surely you can see that it might seem to a bit insensitive to a girl with, let's say, a .50 carat ring, when the ladies with the 2.5 and 3 carat rings refer to the 1.5 carats as 'small'.
I don't mean to offend, it's JMHO.
She definitely made a tactless remark that was not nice.
However, in my opinion, the thread took a turn that was--well, thoughtless-- somewhat before her, with the remarks about 1 and 1.5 carat rings being 'smaller'. I'm sure that no offense was meant, however I think it can't hurt to keep being aware that what we see posted on these threads is not necessarily representative of what most people have (to be clearer, people with the larger rings tend to be the ones to post);that the average ring in the U.S. is .33 carats and that I am sure that the average on these boards (especially among younger, recently engaged women) is not far off from that. I'm sure we all want to be sensitive to each other--and surely you can see that it might seem to a bit insensitive to a girl with, let's say, a .50 carat ring, when the ladies with the 2.5 and 3 carat rings refer to the 1.5 carats as 'small'.
I don't mean to offend, it's JMHO.
Personally I went from a 0.5 ct to a 3.5 ct center stone (tcw is 4.25) , I wonder if my attitude towards women will change
.
Such instances like Kim describes never occurred to me IRL. The only place I've noticed small big comparison comments with intend to make someone feel inferior is in forums , and not this one.
.Such instances like Kim describes never occurred to me IRL. The only place I've noticed small big comparison comments with intend to make someone feel inferior is in forums , and not this one.
I agree with the majority on this one. I really don't feel like my bling affects me negatively. I feel extra confident when I think I look really nice for a big event (clothes and jewelry) but other than that, I just enjoy wearing my jewelry (confidence unaffected - whether my jewelry is modest or bold)
I feel more confident. My engagement ring was honestly, my first piece of "real", nice jewelry and I love it. It looks good on my hand and I love the symbolism that, yes, I am taken, and yes, I am getting married. (not in a snotty way, but I feel very loved...we're in a long distance relationship right now since he moved for a new job and it's comforting to me since I don't see him much)
i think that whatever ring you have no matter how big or small you should show it off if you want to with pride, you're in love why not brag? there's no need to say my diamond is better than yours in ur face but show off your ring and how happy you are. whats the point in the ring if you can't show it off. its how you do it, wear it with pride dont hide it but theres no need to go up to someone and say i have this you dont , iyswim
the size doesnt represent how much your loved. a very rich man could spend 100,000 on a ring for a girl he just met cos he CAN , it doesnt mean he loves her at all
if you have little money and your partner spends 100 on a ring and works hard for it it means so much more if he loves you and appreciates you than an expensive ring that means nothing really, however it doesnt mean a rich man doesnt love his partner... thats a ridiculous thing to say really. we all have different incomes, its life. i can't afford a 100,000 ring but i would be like wow that's gorgeous if i saw someone with a ring like that . i would love it, but not feel envious in a mean way as i know im loved even with no ring at all. a ring says nothing about the relationship .... nothing at all!
i hope i explained myself properly lol
the size doesnt represent how much your loved. a very rich man could spend 100,000 on a ring for a girl he just met cos he CAN , it doesnt mean he loves her at all
if you have little money and your partner spends 100 on a ring and works hard for it it means so much more if he loves you and appreciates you than an expensive ring that means nothing really, however it doesnt mean a rich man doesnt love his partner... thats a ridiculous thing to say really. we all have different incomes, its life. i can't afford a 100,000 ring but i would be like wow that's gorgeous if i saw someone with a ring like that . i would love it, but not feel envious in a mean way as i know im loved even with no ring at all. a ring says nothing about the relationship .... nothing at all!
i hope i explained myself properly lol
omg, i just noticed your signature....you're getting married november 5, 2011??? that is our anniversary as well. this year we will be married november 5 for 16 years. eeek!!!
congrats!!!
sorry...:back2topic:
Personally I went from a 0.5 ct to a 3.5 ct center stone (tcw is 4.25) , I wonder if my attitude towards women will change
Such instances like Kim describes never occurred to me IRL. The only place I've noticed small big comparison comments with intend to make someone feel inferior is in forums , and not this one.
Ironic as I read a post on a popular diamond forum recently (someone upgraded to a cushion halo) & referred to her former 1.5 ct diamond as "humble" And as some other member felt hurt as hers as a mere 1.08 cts. She also got a highly inappropriate response with a heavy sarcastic tone to "enjoy people's upgrades or don't come on to that forum"
I'd have posted a response, but believe me.....they'd have banned me
And at the end of the day, the OP who upgraded from "humble" to "halo" could have been a bit more humble in her post.
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^^
that's harsh. not sure i'd frequent that forum anymore if i was that member.
I just checked at the OP went from a "humble" 1.25 to 3 ct w/halo.
So in response, the member with the 1.08 stated she "felt cheap with her 1.08" (mind you, you cannot control how people feel)
Therefore, in response to that by yet another member was, "One persons humble stone is another ones lifetime upgrade. If that is going to make you feel bad, stci, then girl you are in the wrong place!!!!! Just enjoy yours for the beauty it is, and drool over everyone else's as well!"
I'm not stating that this offended me to the maximum, but it wasn't friendly either.....especially since it included being TOLD what to do.