It's funny how you bring up Hermes, since in the 3 1/2 years I purchased from Coach, I have spent enough to buy a Birkin; and no, I'm not joking. Most of it was purchased in the first 2 years, and then I felt really silly for that. Morever, in my foolish mind, sometimes I even felt bad to buy low-stock items from the website, and not through the SA. Maybe others with more experience with the company can chime in, but I didn't think Coach is a brand that would play power-games.
In my family, I'm the only one who's crazy about bags; of course, I know there are "real" family and friends SAs would want to hand the F&F out to; but in all these years of buying, to never know that the promotion even existed until I saw it in the forum? I feel betrayed, and since it's too much time and energy to spend (both for the SAs and for me) to even think about it, I'll just take my business elsewhere. Hope others are able to pick up great discount pieces!
But my point was getting an F&F code is not really about how much you spend at Coach or if you are told you are their "best customer" (which yes, often can be used as flattery, but also the question is what makes someone a "best customer" in their view? For me that was never actually solely about the money someone spent). I think many members here have spent enough for a Birkin this year
alone on Coach (and more). My point is that I am sure many of your SA's OTHER customers (as many members here are also, well, customers) have spent a lot, as well. And the majority of members here, and the majority of "real life" customers, did not get F&F codes.
I admit I have a hard time understanding why you are upset to have never known about the promotion until recently. It is not a
public promotion, at all: the public gets their own promotions like SAS, PCE, holiday sales, and other promotions (including at department stores). Several times a year! To me not knowing about a private perk like this that is available to retail staff to give to their friends and family is no different than not knowing what employee discount someone might get at Coach, or any other retail store, and then being upset to find out you paid full retail for something they, as one of the few perks of working retail, were able to buy for cost plus 10% or something. Working retail can really, really suck a lot of the time, so I do not see any issue with these "private perks".
A Coach SA gets a very limited number of F&F codes (5, is what I have heard as well) and the "idea" is for family and friends but of course they can give to whom they like at end of the day (or to no one at all). An SA has potentially dozens to hundreds of "regular" customers depending on how long they have been working at a store. Some SAs may NEVER give out the codes to customers, some may do so time to time, but certainly it is up to them, and if they do, they have many customers to potentially choose from. I am sure many SAs have friends and family who would love the codes, even if your own family is not full of purse addicts.
The only reason F&F is even "known" or discussed here on tPF is because some members have said they did get one from their SA (this time, or at other times). I know there are other members who deliberately do NOT mention getting it because they
know it is not a public thing and are sensitive to other forum members who may have just paid full price for something. But again, it is not a public promotion. I am sorry you feel slighted your SA did not actively tell you about it, but if you really wanted one...you could just ask your SA about it. The worst that can happen is she says no or that she has already given them away.
Of course it is always your choice as to whether to spend your money and take your business, you don't need to even have a reason, or justify it to anyone.But it is likely a good idea to take your business elsewhere, especially if you feel "betrayed". You don't want to buy bags with that "negative" vibe about the brand.