I am actually surprised some SAs processed preorders for 1941 stuff with F&F as I thought it has been the case for a while that F&F and PCE specifically excluded 1941; though I do recall during last SAS if you an (F&F?) code you could get extra 20% off 1941 items already marked down on sale.
I do all my Coach buying online so no F&F for me which is fine as I am also not interested in anything new and am also on a long no buy. I have so far bought all my 1941 at 50% or more off and plan to keep it that way though as it does bother me to see sales a few weeks after buying something full price, even if those sales are only for a select few (different if your an employee or actual family though, one of perks or silver linings to working retail!)
I don’t think an SA not giving you an F&F code should be taken personally. My understanding is the F&F really it is a friends and family discount and it is up to SAs how they want to use their limited number of codes. Yes, some SAs will offer to customers, but it is subjective and not/not just based on how much you buy (I mean people can spend tens of thousands at Hermes and still be told they can’t even have opportunity to spend another $8,000+ on a Kelly/Birkin, so not getting a n F&F code seems downright palatable!)
If I was an SA, I will be honest, I would probably give my codes to my actual friends and family. When I worked retail, you bet I took those little kinds of perks (which did not come along often for employees) and shared with my family and friends.