I am so sorry you went through that.

But that is one of the keys to recovery -
changing the way one thinks. it takes a lot of work and a lot of time. when an addict/alcoholic goes into recovery, this is part of what the treatment addresses, the way the addicts/alcoholics brain thinks. they have to relearn so many things. I think I heard Dr. Drew put it best - a person is pretty much stunted emotionally at the time they started using/drinking. so someone who is Charlies age, if they started using at 13, that is pretty much where they stopped maturing emotionally. pretty much why he is acting like a child. people need to remember too, that not only is the addict sick, the whole family is sick. the family is addicted to the addicts problems, even if not willingly. thats why its so important for friends and loved ones to attend Al-Anon. helps people understand the disease and how not to enable and also how to help themselves - its the same 12 step program. the family needs help undoing and healing the damage caused by the addict.