bags that DON'T work for you

Gucci Disco - loved it and it is a gorgeous bag when I purchased it and thought downsizing would be great. Turned out I still need to carry more than what I initially thought. So I had to sell it. This goes for any small bags.

Open top bags - I need the security of a zipper to close my bag. Paranoid that someone would reach in and steal my wallet.

Suede bags - had one once and a server accidentally spilled soy sauce on it - my light blue suede bag was damaged. This is why I love coated canvas bags.
 
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Small top openings
White bags
PU Leather
Heavy hardware
Flashy over the top bags
Thin shoulder straps
See-through bags
Snake skin pattern
Bags with eyes

I like understated structured sturdy leather bags, brands like Mulberry, Chanel and LV keep me happy.. [emoji177]
 
More general than specific

I have some and do use them but no more buying heavy bags, I can feel they're bad for my body

Pink bags - my mother borrows them and I forget

Orange bags - my sister borrows them and then think they're hers

Mini bags - too dinky on me

Rubbish linings - NOT for that money

Pale suede = asking for trouble
 
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More generalized vs actual bag.

With some of my nerve issues i have concluded i can only comfortably carry satchels... that has really narrowed down not only collection but my choices overall.

Next i hate liners that pick.. you know the type, you thought you had a snag in that nail? well that liner will find it.

Zippers that don't slide, snaps that won't undo... pesty and annoying.

Open style bags, nope bag always falls off the car seat and pukes it's contents all over the floor.

Probably more but that covers it decently enough for now lol.
 
Slouchy and unstructured totes: I hardly find stuff in them

When the strap is between long and handheld: I struggle with the bulky feeling when they are in the crook of my arm, and hate wearing them on my shoulder because too short
 
http://thumbs.ebaystatic.com/images/g/Q2sAAOSwLN5WhbtF/s-l225.jpg
Above Betsey Johnson bag(internet pic found) possesses most features I run from screaming.

Add ostrich/reptile skin. And neon linings.
Add lookie-lookie brand logos.
Plus anything causing panic near coffee & dogs.
Or which lets stuff fall out, along my jet trail o' crazy.
 
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Minaudiere clutches - way too small to carry anything that I need. And small purses in general, because I hate having to hold my sunglasses in my hand. I want a small bag that is big enough to hold my glasses comfortably without crushing it.

Nylon bags - I bought quite a few MBMJ nylon bags in the past but I couldn't get myself to like the material. I am so used to having soft leather bags that it spoiled me. I only have one MBMJ soft tote but I rarely ever carry it.

Stiff leather bags - LV Epi, Saffiano... not a fan. Again, I'm too spoiled for soft leather. I also find hard leather bags to be uncomfortable to carry on my shoulder, too. And some saffiano leathers feel like plastic to me. Dislike!

Pleather - Ew, Ew, Ew. Enough said. The stench of plastic leather makes me nauseous. I'm fine with some vegan leathers, though. Deux Lux uses vegan leather but it smells and feels like the real thing. I love Deux Lux!!

Glitter bags/bags with cute characters/animals on it - Cute, but way too young for me.

Open totes - Love them, but I've been too paranoid of someone trying to pickpocket me from behind. So I don't buy these bags anymore.

Transparent/Perforated bags - Same reason as the "open totes" above.
 
Bags that are too time consuming to open and close, bags that can't be left open/unzipped when you carry them and bags that are so deep they bump into absolutely everything.
 
What bags have you tried and learned don't work for you? (Doesn't mean that they aren't pretty and that they don't work for other people.)

me:

1. le pliage- hard for me to zip and unzip. found out I like more structure than it offers. I think about rebuying it once a year because of the pretty pretty colors.

2. bal city- the things I like to carry don't match the shape of the bag. the shoulder strap was pointless on me and the bag looked like a hot dog on me.

3. any woc, wristlet or phone wallet- I like to carry lots of things. I will never be one of those cool just cards and a lip balm and keys girls

Le pilage is truly difficult for me to zip and unzip, the flap keeps getting in the way. Nylon is unappealing to me.

Mini bags cannot let me carry all of my basic essentials, which is why I don't have a wallet on chain or small crossbodies yet, though I wanted them before.

Minimalistic bags such as MG. Too boring for me.