Are you having an Emotional Affair?

#20
Sarsi said:
I know it exists,
that's why some of the rules I made with my Hubby were...
  1. No girl bestfriend
  2. No going out one on one with a girl for whatever reason
  3. No entertaining female friends with their private problems unless they tell it to both of us.And same rule I apply to myself...
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These are nicely stated rules. Simple, succint, and useful.
 
#23
Before my DH met me, he had this married FF who would call him ALL the time, without her DH knowing and would talk about very personal & private stuff.

She would say that she wanted to fix him up with people and all the girls that she chose were not anywhere near his type. So he was beginning to think that all girls had issues or were boring. He was getting tired of the dating game and decided to concentrate entirely on his job. Meanwhile, she kept calling and showing up with small gifts and cards....you know to "cheer him up".

When DH and I met there were instant fireworks (the good ones) between us and she HATED me. She kept trying to dig up things in my past that she could make look very bad. She came to my work and tried to interview my co-workers and friends. When I confronted her, she assured me that she only had his "best interests" at heart. BS!! I am convinced that she was having an emotional affair with him and wanted to make it something more.

When he finally "saw" her for what she was, he ended their "friendship".
 
#26
amanda said:
it definately exists and i've definately done it and had it done to me - it's a horrible feeling, and sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it until it's way too late to stop caring about the new person. i'd much rather be physically cheated on, personally. at least then maybe you were drunk or something.
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I'm with you all the way on this. It's for real, I've been there, and it was many years ago, but I can still remember how awful it felt. The whole thing sort of crept up on me when I wasn't expecting it, and it went much deeper than say, a one-night-stand. Needless to say, it was a messy situation to get out of, and I hope never to repeat it. :yucky:

A rule of thumb I heard once is, if you're doing/saying things you wouldn't feel comfortable doing or saying in front of your SO, there's a problem.
 
#27
In psychology there have been a ton of research in relationships about emotional cheating. In fact, studies have found that WOMEN are much more hurt by emotional betrayal, while men are more hurt by physical betrayal. This is on a whole of course... but really interesting studies have been done.

Plain and simple... set some boundaries and rules. With Vlad I always tell him everything and ask. That way your SO should tell you how he/she feels. For example I helped a guy I know out and he wants to take me out to dinner to repay me- first thing I do is ask Vlad if that is ok with him and discuss this friends relationship with me. Being open works the best.
 
#29
thats what happens when your spouse doesnt talk anymore and they you find out he's had an affair. You tend to pull away and take to someone that will listen.


caitlin1214 said:
You may be cheating... and not even know it!!!

Psychiatrist Irwin Marcus is the author of Why Men Have Affairs.
He says that you can be cheating on your significant other without being physical with the other person! It's called an "Emotional Affair!"

Here are FOUR signs of an "Emotional Affair:"
Are
1) You feel happier with your "friend" than you do with your mate.
2) You tell this friend news about your life before you clue in your spouse or significant other.
3) You are secretive and feel a bit guilty about the time you spend with your "friend."
4) There's some flirting going on and sometimes you fantasize about that person.

If you said YES to 3 of these signs... you my friend are having an "Emotional Affair!"


Do you think there's such a thing as emotional affairs?
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